Most parents are doing basic adult tasks for their adult children, new survey finds

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  • Freiheit Salt Lake City, UT
    March 19, 2019 11:54 a.m.

    Maybe we could start by letting the little darlings walk to school instead of driving them. Freee range makes a whole lot more sense than helicoptering.

  • The Great Helmsman Salt Lake City, UT
    March 19, 2019 11:38 a.m.

    When parents do this to their adult children it says to me, "I don't have faith in your abilities."

    I cannot think of a worse message to send.

  • Scott1 Salt Lake City, UT
    March 19, 2019 10:43 a.m.

    Perhaps greedy universities with professors looking for job security could be blamed. Look at many professions that require a university degree. More and more classes, requirements, and degrees are added as the years go by. To become a physical therapist in the early 90's all you needed was a four-year degree. But then later masters and doctorate degrees were added under the guise that so much more knowledge was needed in the field.

  • Flipphone , 00
    March 19, 2019 10:22 a.m.

    Parents also have provided excuses such as rents to high and wages are to low and college just cost to much.

    Some how their parents were able to manage, so why not them?

  • Flipphone , 00
    March 19, 2019 10:15 a.m.

    I do not understand why this is occurring, I'm guilty of doing the same for my adult children. The only thing I can think of is that today's adult children just don't want to grow up. And we parents are not demanding that they do grow up.

    We baby boomers didn't do this to our parents and either did the WW2 generation.

  • mominthetrenches South Jordan, UT
    March 19, 2019 9:09 a.m.

    By the time my oldest graduated from high school 2 years ago, she felt she was spiraling out of control. She was so "involved" in her high school experience, that she wouldn't even pick up a pencil to apply for colleges, claiming she was "too busy". We recognized her inability to perform some of the basic life skill type of things for her age and it concerned us, even though WE contributed to this. We didn't want her to miss out on those ways to personally grow and learn to navigate her own path. We discussed this with her. By the time she was 18, she had a job and was paying for gas, phone, social activities, clothing and making her own appointments for dr & colleges. She took a gap year off (after graduating HS), worked 3 jobs to save up for her future and we told her it was all up to her. She started at SLCC night school, while working. She moved up to WSU this past January, with car, tuition, room & board paid for in cash, and is thriving. Her 3 roommates are completely dependent on their parents and don't know how to take care of themselves. We've changed our mindset at parents-our 2 younger kids (14 & 17) aren't as involved in extras and have jobs. Best thing ever!

  • 65TossPowerTrap Salmon, ID
    March 19, 2019 9:07 a.m.

    Sounds like Trump's upbringing.

  • at long last. . . Kirksville , MO
    March 19, 2019 7:35 a.m.

    This pathetic situation just indicates how badly parenting has been done in the past several decades. It used to be the idea was to raise your children to function as adults in the world by the time they were out of high school. For the past decades the idea seems to be to keep the little darlings from having to 'unnecessarily struggle' in life. Bah!

    This has highly significant consequences for our nation in every aspect, but especially in national security. It may well, be too late to remedy.

  • Y Ask Y Provo, UT
    March 19, 2019 6:43 a.m.

    Wouldn't it have been so funny if the bio at the bottom read:

    "Arianna Rees is a staff writer for the Deseret News trending team and received help from her mother in writing this article."

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    March 19, 2019 6:31 a.m.

    Thank you, that is good to hear.

  • bass679 Novi, MI
    March 19, 2019 6:00 a.m.

    While I strongly reject this being the standard mode for millennial. I can't say I don't know folks who are like this. My wife's parents are certainly what's referred to as "lawnmower parents". That is, they attempt to mow down any obstacle or impediment in their children's way. Like, I get it. I get the motivation to give your kids everything you didn't have but it's a terrible long term strategy

    My brother-in-law will be 31 this summer and he just started working his first real job. Well, he worked another one for about 2 weeks but he didn't like being bossed around so my father-in-law went and quit for him. That's just terrible parenting regardless of generation you are.

  • geekusprimus Little Elm, TX
    March 18, 2019 9:35 p.m.

    Being a millennial myself, this is one of the many reasons I'm so grateful I was able to serve a mission. While my parents are not the helicopter type and encouraged responsibility from a young age, my mission served as a very formal and abrupt end to my childhood. By the time I returned, I was more than ready to move 1200 miles away for school, and I have been self-supporting since. I think all but the most spoiled returned missionaries find themselves in similar positions.

  • Vanceone Provo, UT
    March 18, 2019 7:29 p.m.

    "Safe space! Safe Space! Mommy, where's my binky? I heard something I disagree with today! Someone said the words 'personal responsibility!' I need my safe space"

    Likely overheard in a college student union someplace near Berkeley or something.

  • NeifyT Salt Lake City, UT
    March 18, 2019 2:08 p.m.

    I consider myself a well-rounded, well capable adult (now in my 40s).

    But, some of the things listed, my parents still did in my 20's. I wasn't fully on my own until age 26. Yet some things (not listed in this article) that in years gone by were considered "adult responsibilities" I was doing even in my pre-teen years (like cooking and cleaning, and money management skills, getting places I needed to be) even in the article handling deadlines for school assignments.

    I blame the system though for my not able to be on my own until 26. Employers refusing to pay livable wages even for highly skilled labor. I still don't make a lot; and that is because of my disability. Even for very marketable skilled labor that is supposedly in such high demand that employers "can't fill" the positions (although it could be that they simply "refuse to fill" the positions with capable people; who also have a disability).

    Even in the 90's it was hard to live on $10-$12/hour wages (well above the "minimum wage") without assistance from family. Now, even if minimum wage were boosted to $15/hour; it is an unlivable wage at least here in the Salt Lake Valley.