Maybe we could start by letting the little darlings walk to school instead of
driving them. Freee range makes a whole lot more sense than helicoptering.
When parents do this to their adult children it says to me, "I don't
have faith in your abilities."I cannot think of a worse message
Perhaps greedy universities with professors looking for job security could be
blamed. Look at many professions that require a university degree. More and
more classes, requirements, and degrees are added as the years go by. To become
a physical therapist in the early 90's all you needed was a four-year
degree. But then later masters and doctorate degrees were added under the guise
that so much more knowledge was needed in the field.
Parents also have provided excuses such as rents to high and wages are to low
and college just cost to much.Some how their parents were able to
manage, so why not them?
I do not understand why this is occurring, I'm guilty of doing the same
for my adult children. The only thing I can think of is that today's adult
children just don't want to grow up. And we parents are not demanding that
they do grow up.We baby boomers didn't do this to our parents
and either did the WW2 generation.
By the time my oldest graduated from high school 2 years ago, she felt she was
spiraling out of control. She was so "involved" in her high school
experience, that she wouldn't even pick up a pencil to apply for colleges,
claiming she was "too busy". We recognized her inability to perform
some of the basic life skill type of things for her age and it concerned us,
even though WE contributed to this. We didn't want her to miss out on
those ways to personally grow and learn to navigate her own path. We discussed
this with her. By the time she was 18, she had a job and was paying for gas,
phone, social activities, clothing and making her own appointments for dr &
colleges. She took a gap year off (after graduating HS), worked 3 jobs to save
up for her future and we told her it was all up to her. She started at SLCC
night school, while working. She moved up to WSU this past January, with car,
tuition, room & board paid for in cash, and is thriving. Her 3 roommates
are completely dependent on their parents and don't know how to take care
of themselves. We've changed our mindset at parents-our 2 younger kids (14
& 17) aren't as involved in extras and have jobs. Best thing ever!
Sounds like Trump's upbringing.
This pathetic situation just indicates how badly parenting has been done in the
past several decades. It used to be the idea was to raise your children to
function as adults in the world by the time they were out of high school. For
the past decades the idea seems to be to keep the little darlings from having to
'unnecessarily struggle' in life. Bah! This has highly
significant consequences for our nation in every aspect, but especially in
national security. It may well, be too late to remedy.
Wouldn't it have been so funny if the bio at the bottom read:"Arianna Rees is a staff writer for the Deseret News trending team and
received help from her mother in writing this article."
Thank you, that is good to hear.
While I strongly reject this being the standard mode for millennial. I
can't say I don't know folks who are like this. My wife's parents
are certainly what's referred to as "lawnmower parents". That is,
they attempt to mow down any obstacle or impediment in their children's
way. Like, I get it. I get the motivation to give your kids everything you
didn't have but it's a terrible long term strategyMy
brother-in-law will be 31 this summer and he just started working his first real
job. Well, he worked another one for about 2 weeks but he didn't like
being bossed around so my father-in-law went and quit for him. That's just
terrible parenting regardless of generation you are.
Being a millennial myself, this is one of the many reasons I'm so grateful
I was able to serve a mission. While my parents are not the helicopter type and
encouraged responsibility from a young age, my mission served as a very formal
and abrupt end to my childhood. By the time I returned, I was more than ready to
move 1200 miles away for school, and I have been self-supporting since. I think
all but the most spoiled returned missionaries find themselves in similar
"Safe space! Safe Space! Mommy, where's my binky? I heard something I
disagree with today! Someone said the words 'personal responsibility!'
I need my safe space"Likely overheard in a college student union
someplace near Berkeley or something.
I consider myself a well-rounded, well capable adult (now in my 40s).But, some of the things listed, my parents still did in my 20's. I
wasn't fully on my own until age 26. Yet some things (not listed in this
article) that in years gone by were considered "adult responsibilities"
I was doing even in my pre-teen years (like cooking and cleaning, and money
management skills, getting places I needed to be) even in the article handling
deadlines for school assignments.I blame the system though for my
not able to be on my own until 26. Employers refusing to pay livable wages even
for highly skilled labor. I still don't make a lot; and that is because of
my disability. Even for very marketable skilled labor that is supposedly in
such high demand that employers "can't fill" the positions
(although it could be that they simply "refuse to fill" the positions
with capable people; who also have a disability).Even in the
90's it was hard to live on $10-$12/hour wages (well above the "minimum
wage") without assistance from family. Now, even if minimum wage were
boosted to $15/hour; it is an unlivable wage at least here in the Salt Lake