When mom's in control of her emotions and able to problem-solve, there's a greater chance her kids won't throw tantrums

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  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    June 8, 2018 9:37 p.m.

    Interesting study. They should do one regarding fathers as well. Any parent that can't control or manage their own emotions is going to have some additional challenges with their kids.

  • geekusprimus Little Elm, TX
    June 8, 2018 2:35 p.m.

    When I first heard about this study, I thought it was superfluous because it's common sense that an emotionally stable mother makes a better parent. The comments on this article from a few of my fellow Deseret News subscribers have persuaded me that it is apparently a surprise to a great many people and is completely necessary.

  • 2 bits Cottonwood Heights, UT
    June 8, 2018 1:31 p.m.

    This article seems to have a lot of good observations and good advice for parents (not just moms).

    Less yelling, and more control of our emotions would go a long way to fostering peace and harmony when things could get more tense.

  • robin138 springfield, VA
    June 8, 2018 1:12 p.m.

    Interesting, but what about the effect of Fathers control or lack thereof on children?

  • Occidentali Los Angeles, CA
    June 8, 2018 12:23 p.m.

    Great study that flies in the face of popular culture. Before this finding people only had common sense, classic philosophy and the Bible.

  • Granny Saint George, UT
    June 8, 2018 12:15 p.m.

    The article is correct. I have seen this in my family and those of our friends. Parents who speak kindly yet firmly, to their children and expect good behavior usually get that result. Parents who scream and yell at their children with shoot-from-the-hip responses to every situation usually get screaming, tantrums or worse in return.

    There will be an occasional autistic child or one with similar issues who requires an different approach, and I'm not taking about verbal, emotional or physical abuse.

    Once, a young mother asked me for ideas to reduce screaming/tantrums in her family. With a sincere tone, I suggested that if she calmed her rhetoric and tone, it would reduce chaos and increase harmony. She responded that she was raised by a mom who yells. That is just the way they talk to people and it didn't mean anything. I guess she's never really looked into the faces and souls of her children and her husband as she yells and demeans. It's heartbreaking to watch. I was even accused of trying to undermine her family because I suggested that she might be a large part of the problem.

    My friends see this too and it's mostly young moms addicted to social media.

  • Independent Henderson, NV
    June 8, 2018 11:35 a.m.

    Ok so we'll just pretend that we don't see this play out at Walmart all the time. Ok, right. The researchers made the mistake of suggesting that women could be accountable for something, and thus more satisfied with their lives. Boy did they step in it. I find the resistance to the suggestion that moms can take control and actually solve problems hilarious. By all means ladies, keep on talking about your feelings and see if that stops the tantrums.

  • Happymomto10 Saratoga Springs, UT
    June 8, 2018 10:06 a.m.

    I would love to learn more! How can I be a better mom? Have they translated the study into meaningful steps a mother can take?
    My kids haven't thrown tantrums but many times I'm at a loss to figure out how to best handle disagreements etc.

  • Impartial7 DRAPER, UT
    June 8, 2018 9:31 a.m.

    It's hard for many Utah Mom's to be in control of their emotions when they have 4 kids in 6 years.

  • Go Utes! Springville, UT
    June 8, 2018 9:17 a.m.

    Both interesting and insightful.

    @Hunt the article is not gender biased it is a study about how mothers behavior contributes to and affects child behavior this study does not assign blame it identifies a cause/effect relationship.

    @Red Yes, children will throw tantrums but children who learn that behavior from their parents will throw more tantrums just like children whose parents allow their child’s tantrum to control them will throw more tantrums. THis study is identifying something that moms can control to hopefully reduce tantrums thereby making mothering easier.

  • fliebynight Billings, MT
    June 8, 2018 9:01 a.m.

    Hunt and Red Smith, it appears neither of you understands scientific research. These researchers found a causal connection between the way mom reacts and how the kids react. It's a "no duh" finding, but there's now some data behind it, which will assist clinicians in working with parents and children who are seeking help. It's not "gender biased" - it was looking at a specific subset of the population: moms. When conducting research you focus on a specific subset of a population, and on a specific behavior. A follow up, or parallel study, might be to do the same research on how fathers react vs how kids react. You can't study multiple things at the same time and reach solid conclusions. It's not how scientific research is performed.

  • Hunt Salt Lake City, UT
    June 8, 2018 8:54 a.m.

    I find this article to be very gender biased. Whether on purpose or not it seems to put the blame squarely on the mothers shoulders.

    How can the study even begin to come close to accuracy without taking into account so many variables such as the father and his role, single moms, single fathers, same gender couples, etc, etc.

    Assuming gender roles is extremely short sighted and leads to a study that is, in my opinion, entirely without merit.

  • Red Smith American Fork, UT
    June 8, 2018 8:04 a.m.

    This article is nonsense.

    Children throw tantrums because they are children regardless of the mother.