Couples who ride out rough patch in marriage have good shot at long-term happiness

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  • rustopher West Valley City, UT
    May 21, 2018 10:56 a.m.

    @Vermonter

    Want to take a look at real numbers about marriage and particularly those marriages that included the element of faith? Check out the book "The Good News About Marriage."

  • Tighty-Whities Draper, UT
    May 7, 2018 10:47 a.m.

    "How Riding Out the Rough Patch Can Help Save Your Marriage" is the most blatantly obvious headline. It's like saying, "How not quitting the race will help you finish the race" or "How Scoring More Points than the other team will help you win."

    Not riding out the rough patch = giving up on the marriage, so of course, riding out a rough patch means you didn't quit. C'mon, Deseret news, put a little more thought into your headlines.

  • Vermonter Plymouth, MI
    May 5, 2018 10:12 p.m.

    @Worf and anybody else reading.

    To go a bit further, in LDS theology and most other religions, what is the one thing that a person can only do with their spouse? Think about it. Everything else done in a typical married person’s life can be done with someone who is not their spouse. But, this one thing is reserved for only one other person in this entire world.

    The fact that faithful LDS (and the faithful of most other religions as well) believe that this one thing, and this one thing only, is to be done only with your spouse, should give us a little bit of an idea how important it is to a marriage.

    Even if there is compatibility in every other area of a marriage, except for this one aspect, 99% of such marriages will eventually fail. It is the bond that holds marriages together like absolutely nothing else can.

  • Vermonter Plymouth, MI
    May 5, 2018 8:44 p.m.

    @worf.
    It depends on how you define “rough patch.” I have yet to meet a couple who said they never had a disagreement. And if you could poll all the modern-day apostles and their wives, I highly doubt you would find one such marriage.

    Yep. Marriage is not only about physical attraction. But, people ignore or diminish that aspect at their own peril.

    If you want to do some research, see what Spencer W. Kimball said the main reason for divorce was (and is, in my opinion). It isn’t finances. It isn’t child-rearing differences. It’s selfishness. And selfishness about one thing specifically.

    @Yankees27.

    Very wise words, indeed.

  • worf McAllen, TX
    May 5, 2018 5:00 p.m.

    Some marriages don't have " rough patches".

    Mature people understand compatibility and don't solely base marriage on physical attraction.

  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    May 4, 2018 3:06 p.m.

    Some people throw in the towel far too soon. They haven't learned to ride the storms that come in any marriage. Others stay far too long in situations that are terrible for them and for their children due to temple marriages. Or, beliefs that you stay married regardless of the kind of problems you have. Some end up dying or their children do over that choice.

  • yankees27 Heber, Utah
    May 4, 2018 1:26 p.m.

    A few words of wisdom.
    "Happy wife, happy life"
    "If you don't do it, someone else will"

    The second one is what saved our marriage. As sometimes happens, intimacy leaves or gets put on the back burner. However when the other partner still has the desire, it can be very troublesome. For me, I dealt with it for years, then a counselor said that magic line to me, and it changed us. It can mean many things to different people, but for us it meant very clearly that we needed to reconnect physically or inevitably the person being left on the bench would become a free agent!

  • Vermonter Plymouth, MI
    May 4, 2018 10:38 a.m.

    No statistics to back this up. But...from my observation...in general...

    Mormons married in the temple who actually believe what is taught there are much less likely to give up on their marriages at the first sign of non-serious marital discord.

    By the same token, Mormons married in the temple who believe what is taught there, who are thoroughly, repeatedly and seriously betrayed by their spouses are more likely to end the marriage relatively quickly and move on.

  • LivinLarge Bountiful, UT
    May 4, 2018 9:13 a.m.

    Sion - Knoxville, TN - your comment did make me chuckle...however, I have been married to my "Mormon Woman" for over 40 years now and have raised 6 wonderful children together. Through thick and thin we have never, I repeat, never left one another's side. Her profound beauty, both inside and out, still make my knees go weak. I am grateful for her and have given my heart to her.

  • Sion Knoxville, TN
    May 4, 2018 3:48 a.m.

    Marrying a Mormon woman won’t make your marriage last longer . . . It will just seem longer.