This is new in Utah?
We made a conscious decision to have children, and more than average. We
discussed current responsibilities, and future responsibilities. I worked more
than double the average hours, sometimes 2 jobs to allow my wife to spend the
early, formative years with our kids. Because I was earning the money, she took
care of the household, with me pitching in as much as possible, but not much
early on. As the kids got older, and started school, she went to work part time,
so I helped at home more, now I still work 40+, and she does 30+, so
we're about equal on duties. I've always done my own laundry, so I do
50%of that as well, I do most of the cooking, so I grocery shop for what I need
and want. We split cleaning duties with the kids. My wife has done the mornings
with the kids, and I run them after school to the few things they are active in.
We made a decision long ago that we weren't going to put our kids in
everything. We have game night once a week, we eat dinner together every night
(even the teens) and have family movie or dinner out once a week. We're
busy, but not crazy. We actually love all of the free time we have with our
kids. And each other.
@IlluminatedI'm not sure what your marriage is like but what you
described in your first post is a cross between a house keeper and a prostitute.
Is that your ideal of a good marriage? If that's what you're looking
for, that's your business but some of us are looking for an actual person
for our spouse; not a maid that also puts out.
While 'illuminated' made some good points, he missed the things that
traditional wives once did and some who still do. If a man can find a faithful
and loving companion, willing to bear children, especially when the number
exceeds the average, willing to help raise those children, to cook and make and
keep the home beautiful at the same time, I think everyone gets a good deal and
I would not be too exact in the accounting.However I think that
separate and equal access to the same bank account too often does not work;
either partner can create debt, sometimes considerable, for the other. If
possible a joint account should require two signatures, and forgery should be
@BenjaminI don't know. I do about 50% of the Laundry, 30% of the
housekeeping and 95% of the cooking; I'd happily take the rest of the
laundry to cut down that housekeeping number. As long as my wife is doing the
majority of that plus taking care of the kids during the day I think I'm
getting a decent deal.
Think about your personal business or employment. Why would anyone enter a
business contract where you make all the money, call it an "equal
partnership", and your partner can leave at any time and take half?But that's modern marriage!If someone is living under the
roof I paid for, eating the food I paid for, & wearing the clothes I paid
for, they are NOT my equal business partner. They are benefiting from my
benevolence and should abide by my authority and my rules. The least they can
do is keep the home clean, and cook a hot meal each day. Is that too much to
ask?Historically marriages were arranged by a family to an older,
established man who could take care of someone's daughter for the rest of
her life. "Love" was not the priority because "Love"
doesn't pay the bills. Parents didn't want their daughter to run off
with the bum down the street because they knew she'd be back living with
them again in short order. Women used to understood that the man
taking care of her was the head of the household and that she should submit to
him as taught in Ephesians 5:22-23. If we went back to a system like this,
women and families would be far more happy and successful.
Imagine seeing an ad in the newspaper like this:"Large,
fully-furnished home available for female tenant. Rent, utilities and all other
personal amenities paid for including food, clothing, and health care. Tenant
will receive monthly allowance for personal spendnig. Tenant is only required
to keep home clean, cook dinner once a day and do a couple personal favors for
the landlord each week. This is a lifetime opportunity.
You'll never need to work again!"Does that not sound like
an incredible deal? This was marriage for a woman not too long ago. And I
guarantee you, most men would have loved to keep this arrangement. But that
wasn't enough..Women now require the "landlord" to do
half the chores for her, cook, clean and entertain her each day. And if she
ever gets tired of the arrangement, she can leave at any time and steal the home
from the landlord and require him to continue paying her for many more years,
sometimes for the rest of his life.
In my house, I do 95% of the shopping, 60% of the dishwashing, 30% of the
housecleaning, 60% of the cooking, and 95% of the laundry. And I work more than
full time. And my wife doesn't work. I guess you could say the
pendulum is swinging to the opposite extreme in my household. Thanks feminists!