Another subtitle for this very interesting article:Another way we are
losing our children through conformity.
I was single for most of my 20s. I realized most people who asked why I
wasn't married yet were just trying to validate my awesomeness and share
their confusion why some man did not notice this. Rather than get upset at their
comments, I turned the conversation around as follows:Them: Why
arent you married yet?Me: ( said in seriousness) you didn't hear
about my fiancee?Them: No! When did this happen.Me: He died in the
War in Heaven. He never made it down!This lightened up the subject
and let them know I was just fine with my singleness without hurting
I moved into a certain ward many years ago. Went into the building on a
weeknight just to find out when Sunday meetings were. I happened to bump into
the bishop. First thing he said to was his name. Second thing was that I
should get married.
Almost all of us have suffered the sting and abuse from those who's lives
are pre-dermined to be prolific child bearers. Our entire culture has that
bias, and that eagerness to force people to conform. It is ALL about
conformity. If you want to remain an individual, remind yourself that your
life is your own. Not grandma's, who wants dozens of grandchildren, not
your siblings, who value procreation over personal success and productivity. We
don't live on a cattle ranch. Or do we?
One is a whole number.
When a person gets married, and to whom, is their business. Period. You
probably were able to marry when you wanted so allow everyone else the same
privilege. Talk about something you can actually do something about, like the
Instead of articles inferring what people should and shouldn't say to
people, how about articles about how singles should and shouldn't respond
to what is said to them by those who are paired? One cannot (or should not)
attempt to control what others say or do (i.e., agency), but one absolutely can
(and should) control what one says and does. As Elder Bednar counseled in 2006,
choose not to take offense.
Having been through that phase of life and survived, I think that maybe there
should be more discussions and talks with single adults on what to look for in a
marriage partner. There are definitely those out there who want a rich hubby or
prestige, or a career, or who have (honestly) put off marriage in favor of
career development. I know whereof I speak, in one singles ward anyway, and I
hope it has changed since. There were a surprising number who didn't want
to have any children, and one who didn't want to marry at all but just
socialize. There were also many sincere people I hasten to add.I
would also like to point out that, having once filled out a questionaire for an
lds dating agency, there was lots of emphasis on what kind of car you drive, and
suchlike. I found a wife anyway, without the 'lds' dating agency and
just an ordinary, practical, kind of car. You can walk into the Celestial
Kingdom, btw, with no vehicle at all. Millions have done it.
christoph - "Many tragic lives among the educated and wealthy in our
nation. Ironic, they think they are successful"What percent of
Church leaders are "educated and wealthy" and are regarded as
April 2007 Ensign, says it best, on marriage article by member of Seventy,
"For a man capable of marriage to put career over marriage, is a
tragedy." Many tragic lives among the educated and wealthy in our nation.
Ironic, they think they are successful.