The Weeds' story is one of many stories of LGBT Latter-day Saints that continue to be written

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  • AuthorUnknown Nampa, ID
    Oct. 15, 2018 12:50 a.m.

    So let me get this straight: they married because they love each other, and he even admits that their marriage was wonderful. Yet all because he's not sexually attracted to his wife, they're letting all that go? I'm no expert on marriage and romance, but I know enough to know that it's supposed to be about a LOT more than sexual feelings: 1) it's a commadment that man and woman should marry and have a family. 2) it should be about who you want to spend your life with and have a family with - not just about sex.If you're divorcing to have a better sex life, then you're divorcing for the absolute wrong reason. I realize this is their choice, and I hope and pray for the best for them. But that doesn't mean I won't express my feelings that this is wrong on so many levels and whether immediately or eventually, will only lead to regret for what they gave up so that he can give into his sexuality. I don't exactly want people to beat themselves up over their feelings and temptations, but giving up and giving in is not the answer.

  • FJSL Houston, TX
    Feb. 12, 2018 5:19 p.m.

    @ Baccus0902

    "@ Tom Johnson you wrote: As a bisexual, such person can choose to exercise his or her sexual behavior exclusively toward one sex.' Probably, but..."

    I wouldn't concede the point. Mr. Johnson's definition of what qualifies as "bisexual" seems awfully broad. So broad that I wonder if he believes that those who report even incidental attraction to someone of the same sex qualify for the label.

    @ BrandonLS

    "By relativism I mean the view that ethical or moral truths are relative, that they depend on the attitudes and feelings of those who hold them, and that no one can judge the validity of someone else’s 'truth.'"

    I generally agree with this definition, but think it's precisely what many believers apply when it comes to their "eternal" or spiritual truths." These are necessarily relative to their religious beliefs, the validity of which they demand be respected, in some cases when they negatively impact the rights of those who don't share the beliefs.

  • BrandonLS Preston, ID
    Feb. 12, 2018 1:34 p.m.

    This is a sad end of a covenant marriage, not a gay/straight marriage. I love all the examples of individuals overcoming human traits and lifestyles to live covenants with God. I am sad for the line: "You are your own entity and my truth does not have to be your truth." That shows a disbelief in eternal truth. Elder Christofferson recently taught: "Now, where do we find ourselves in today’s world as we seek to teach and affirm truth, especially spiritual truth? In much of the world, relativist thinking has become a dominant philosophy. By relativism I mean the view that ethical or moral truths are relative, that they depend on the attitudes and feelings of those who hold them, and that no one can judge the validity of someone else’s “truth.” You hear a lot of talk these days about “my truth” and “his truth” or “her truth.”

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Feb. 12, 2018 11:29 a.m.

    @ Tom Johnson
    you wrote:
    " As a bisexual, such person can choose to exercise his or her sexual behavior exclusively toward one sex"

    Probably, but can one person control with whom he/she falls in love?

    @ Counter Intelligence
    An honest question, if you are kind enough to answer it:

    You claim to be a homosexual and support Reparative Therapy. Have you tried it? If you have, why do you still claim to be a homosexual?

    @ EqualProtection
    You asked: "Would electroshock therapy or reparative therapy help cure the heterosexual attractions to help save their same-sex marriage? "

    Before going for Reparative Therapy I asked my Psychiatrist who was going to conduct the therapy if he could guarantee the process. He boasted that with Reparative Therapy he could switch a heterosexual person into a homosexual one. My experience is that after Reparative Therapy I am still a homosexual. I doubt it would work any better with heterosexual individuals.

  • equal protection Cedar, UT
    Feb. 12, 2018 5:51 a.m.

    I wonder if there's any data on the success rate of same-sex mixed-orientation marriages? In other words, where you have a heterosexual and homosexual male married. Would electroshock therapy or reparative therapy help cure the heterosexual attractions to help save their same-sex marriage? Or should they stick it out for the sake of the children if they adopt or use assisted reproduction technologies such as surrogacy? I'd be curious to find out if there's any studies on the success rate of mixed-orientation same-sex marriages.

  • FJSL Houston, TX
    Feb. 11, 2018 11:17 p.m.

    @ Tom Johnson

    Karen R. here.

    I agree with No H8-Celebrate. I don't think we can claim to know what was causing others' arousal in every fathering moment. For this reason, I'm confused by your reference to the Kinsey Scale. I understand it to represent thousands of self-evaluations, not the judgments of onlookers (because, again, not even trained counselors can know what's in another's mind).

    Also, IMO it’s neither correct nor fair to tell a homosexual s/he can freely choose "hetero" simply because s/he can experience some attraction to or be able to engage in sex with a person of the opposite sex. Not when we know that, given sufficient motivation, humans can do all sorts of things that run counter to their nature, and that among the most powerful of motivators is acceptance by one’s tribe.

    So until that confounding variable is ruled out for gay LDS, I don't think you can know if your gay clients' choices are freely made. I think you can only know this if the client is assured of acceptance in the tribe without penalty and regardless of choice.

  • No H8 - Celebrate Salt Lake, UT
    Feb. 11, 2018 5:37 p.m.

    @ Tom Johnson said: "As a bisexual, such person can choose to exercise his or her sexual behavior exclusively toward one sex; in this case, Josh can choose to stay in his heterosexual marriage, but apparently is not going to do that. His current impotence need not be permanent with appropriate therapy."

    You also appear to "claim" that arousal is based only on the person you are with and not other factors or thoughts. If other thoughts, fantasies and thinking about another person are involved, this would prove your assertion to be false.
    --
    Do you have any credible citations to support your claim for the unsupported assertions?

  • Tom Johnson Spanish Fork, UT
    Feb. 11, 2018 1:31 p.m.

    I will respond to some who questioned my previous comment:
    @KarenR: Any male who can father children has been capable of sexual arousal by a female, including erection and ejaculation. On the Kinsey Scale from 0 (completely heterosexual) to 6 (completely homosexual) that means that such a male falls between 2-5 (bisexual). As a bisexual, such person can choose to exercise his or her sexual behavior exclusively toward one sex; in this case, Josh can choose to stay in his heterosexual marriage, but apparently is not going to do that. His current impotence need not be permanent with appropriate therapy.
    @Counter Intelligence and 5th Amendment: Sexual orientation is based on who you are attracted to, not on who you have sex with or what your gender identity is.
    @Layne Myer: What is the source for your statistic that only 0.05% of persons with same-sex orientation have been helped by reparative therapy?

  • Karen R. Houston, TX
    Feb. 11, 2018 7:39 a.m.

    @ Counter Intelligence

    To me you're demonstrating a real misunderstanding of what sexual orientation is. You seem to be suggesting that it changes based on who you have sex with or which gender you identify as. So I have the same question for you that I had for Tom Johnson: On what do you base this? Do you have some research that supports your position?

  • Counter Intelligence Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 10, 2018 10:28 p.m.

    @Karen R.
    "And that's kind of ironic considering that it's believers who say that "faith can move mountains.""

    Pretty sure I am not going to accept criticism from those who claim to be traumatized by an inspirational metaphor; but have no problem bullying those who do not buy into an anti-science willfully blind allegation that Bruce Jenner is a woman

    ironic indeed.

  • bamafone Salem, UT
    Feb. 10, 2018 6:15 p.m.

    Seems sad that families and children are gambled away with ones sexual proclivities. Children are always the victims.

  • JSB Sugar City, ID
    Feb. 10, 2018 11:04 a.m.

    The welfare of his children is more important than gratification of physical desire. God will bless him for putting his children and wife first.

  • Karen R. Houston, TX
    Feb. 10, 2018 6:41 a.m.

    @ Counter Intelligence

    "The answer is rather self apparent."

    Oh, I see. Then you probably also believe that young women who have married elderly, wealthy men really enjoy having sex with them.

    I think you sell us humans short, Counter. And that's kind of ironic considering that it's believers who say that "faith can move mountains."

  • Kenngo1969 Pleasant Grove, UT
    Feb. 10, 2018 6:12 a.m.

    There is talk by some of those quoted in Ms. Jones's article that a man can't change who he is; here's the thing: Once a man gets married, he IS a husband, whether he wants to be or not. Once a man has children, he IS a father, whether he wants to be or not. If one is not prepared to make either of those commitments, he should not. (And guess what? I'm a long-term [eternal?] bachelor in a family church!) While there is a lot of talk from sources about how choices have affected them, conspicuously absent is any talk of how choices have affected innocent third parties.

    I don't know how God is going to untangle the complicated mess we humans so often make of relationships, but I do have faith that, if we're faithful, the Omniscient, Omnipotent, All-Loving Lord of the Universe won't have to tell any of us, "I know you were expecting something more, or better, or different, and this means I'm glad I'm not you, but ... sorry. This is the best I could do."

  • Evidence Not Junk Science Cedar City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 2:51 p.m.

    re: 'How to you determine the social construct "gender" for intersex children with dual body parts and mosaic XX and XY genetics.'

    kvnsmnsn wrote:

    "I simply don't know. But I think that the fact that their biological gender may be hard (or even impossible) to determine does not mean that their spiritual gender is also ambiguous."

    The process might be described in the bishops handbook of instruction. A letter from the doctor to determine the percentage of body parts and then assign a spiritual gender based on parts with the greatest percentage.

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 1:13 p.m.

    Redshirt1701 posted:

    =To "StevePhilly" the church has not changed its stance. Homosexuality is still
    =wrong.

    No, no, no! This is a statement that is wrong at worst, and deceptive at best. Why in the world say that homosexuality is wrong? Homosexuality CAN mean sexual "behavior directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex," but it can also mean sexual DESIRE "directed toward a person or persons of one's own sex." The behavior is what's wrong, but the LDS Church has made it abundantly clear that there's nothing wrong with the desire.

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 1:07 p.m.

    Black37 posted:

    =I have a genuine question for those who are LDS and have expressed their
    =support and belief that God expects our gay members to remain celibate for life
    =and that their feeling are nothing more than 'same sex attraction' to be
    =overcome or constrained (massive run-on sentence).

    That would be me. Though for the record I would like to see the day when the LDS Church softens its position to the point that it doesn't excommunicate people who enter into same sex marriage.

    =How do you reconcile those who are born with both genitalia?

    I don't.

    =The Proclaimation states that gender is a key component to God's plan - man and
    =woman, however there are clearly those who do not fit squarely into this plan.
    =Are they male or female? Is their eternal spirit male or female?

    I simply don't know. But I think that the fact that their biological gender may be hard (or even impossible) to determine does not mean that their spiritual gender is also ambiguous. It would be interesting to hear the Church's position on the gender of intersexual children.

  • Vern62050 Cedar City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 12:03 p.m.

    I feel that it is wrong to bring children into an environment that has been polluted by the mass confusion of adults that can't make up their mind about who or what they are. About what they believe or about what they want to be.

    The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints is not going to change in any way that will accommodate their confusion. I know and believe that our church leaders want to include and love all of our Heavenly Father's children, as do I. However, the church is not going to change because it is God's Church and He is the same from everlasting to everlasting. He is unchangeable!

    If we truly love our Lord Jesus Christ and know Him, we know how much He loves the "little ones." To cause these precious "little ones" to suffer because of our suffering and confusion is just wrong. Our God, Jesus Christ, sat down with sinners and ate with them and loved them, but He did not sin with them. And He never told them that their sin was acceptable.

    If we want to love and serve our Heavenly Father then we need to be clear about what it is that He wants us to become. And we must submit to His will and doctrine. It will never change, and for this I am eternally grateful.

  • oldalum Idaho Falls, ID
    Feb. 9, 2018 11:30 a.m.

    I was under the impression that the Church discouraged straight individuals and LGBT individuals from entering into a marriage covenant together because of
    the overwhelming odds that it will eventually fail. Has that position changed over
    the last couple of years, or is it still in place?

  • Redshirt1701 Deep Space 9, Ut
    Feb. 9, 2018 11:20 a.m.

    To "StevePhilly" the church has not changed its stance. Homosexuality is still wrong. Even 30 years ago the stance of the church was if you have same sex attractions, that you are welcome in the church.

    The promise is that you will be made perfect. As science is showing us, same sex attraction may be due to a chemical imbalance in the brain. If you have a chemical imbalance, that will be taken away if you are perfect, and you will no longer have the same sex attraction.

    But who we are now is not necessarily who we were before we were born. The fact that you were born says that you had accepted God's plan over Satan's. Are you 100% faithful to that choice? If not, then you are not the same as you were before you were born, you have changed.

  • Black37 Kaysville, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 11:11 a.m.

    I appreciate the thoughtful comments that others have expressed thus far. I also appreciate Deseret News for allowing the discourse . In years past they have been less willing to allow this type of article to be published let alone commented on. Kudos.

    I have a genuine question for those who are LDS and have expressed their support and belief that God expects our gay members to remain celibate for life and that their feeling are nothing more than 'same sex attraction' to be overcome or constrained (massive run-on sentence).

    How do you reconcile those who are born with both genitalia? The Proclaimation states that gender is a key component to God's plan - man and woman, however there are clearly those who do not fit squarely into this plan. Are they male or female? Is their eternal spirit male or female?

    I would suggest that there are either holes in God's plan or that we imperfect people interpret God's plan imperfectly - including the imperfect leaders of our church. I see a spectrum when it comes to gender and sexuality, yet we are so set on making it black and white.

    Thoughts?

  • Bluto Sandy, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 9:17 a.m.

    Apparently, controlling ones urges and temptations only applies to some of us.
    Self control, balanced against Gods's commandments, is the recipe for true happiness.

    Live your life with agency and leave others religious beliefs alone.
    Live and let live.

  • StevePhilly Philadelphia, PA
    Feb. 9, 2018 8:35 a.m.

    So many thoughts as I read the article and comments.

    @ NoNamesAccepted. You write 'Many un-married LDS have struggles similar to those expressed by LDS who have homosexual attractions. Celibacy, singleness, and loneliness can be overwhelming. A church that focuses so much on the eternal nature of families can exacerbate those feelings for many who are not married.'

    That is certainly true. But heterosexual members are promised that in the eternities, they will receive the things that they desire. Gay members are told that if they are faithful, they will be blessed but not with what they desire. They have to be changed. Who they are now (through no fault of their own, according to current Church teachings) is incompatible with exaltation. If that's not a recipe for depression or self-loathing, I don't know what is.

    In my lifetime, the Church's stance has gone from 'homosexuality (same-sex attraction, in the Church's parlance) is abhorrant' to 'you'll have to do your best to control it, even if that means marriage' to 'we understand it is natural, but don't act upon it.' I treasure my years of association with the Church, but is it any wonder I'm through listening?

  • 5th Amendment Salt Lake, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 8:06 a.m.

    re: "The fact that Josh has fathered 4 children demonstrates conclusively that he is not solely homosexual."

    Yes! This shows opposite-sex marriage can play an important part to help cure same sex attraction. Marriage is the lords plan and part of the proclamation and revelation.

  • People Can Change Cedar City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 7:58 a.m.

    I wonder if some really believe in the power of atonement and revelation.
    Some commenters have reported their success with aversion therapy or 12 step addiction management to cure or at least put their same-sex attraction into remission. Are they seeking the lords counsel hard enough through prayer and living his commandments?

  • Counter Intelligence Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 5:59 a.m.

    @Karen R.

    [@ Tom Johnson
    "The fact that Josh has fathered 4 children demonstrates conclusively that he is not solely homosexual."

    Would you mind providing your reasoning on this? I'd like to know how you reached this conclusion.]

    The answer is rather self apparent - it is an exercise in futility to attempt to explan to the willflly blind. Particularly those who say things like "I think fidelity to religious ideas over evidence-based knowledge can lead people to contort themselves in unnatural ways." who then proceed to elevate their dogma over rather obvious facts,

  • Lilly Munster , 00
    Feb. 9, 2018 5:55 a.m.

    Read all the postings here. Notice all the illogical, uninformed recommendations to "just keep pretending" as if that erases the reality of a sham, sexless marriage. If you discovered that you were married to someone who did not, and could not love you physically because of deception and some distorted desire to use you to appear "normal," would you stay? Would you adopt even more delusions to evade that truth? These two people were never compatible. Self deception did not create a marriage, it created a problem to solve later. Marriage between one heterosexual and one homosexual? How does that work? Would you marry a gay person, just to prove that you could endure a sham marriage? Their children deserve the chance to someday have a remarried, happy mother, and a remarried, happy father. Four loving parents, living without deception, shame and delusions, would be just wonderful for these kids. There are many, many families that healed and are now thriving because of divorce.
    Ask yourselves, and demand an honest answer for yourself: why does Utah lead this nation in teen suicide? Is it air pollution? Too much snow?

  • Counter Intelligence Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 5:47 a.m.

    @Thomas Thompson
    "So-called "reparative therapy" has long since been thoroughly discredited."

    It is interesting that you make that comment then proceed to perfectly describe a good reparative therapist.

    I am homosexual and participated in one of those studies "discrediting" reparative therapy: It was obvious seconds after I walked into the room that the gay therapist conducting the study had already decided conclusion, because that was his dogma; he was merely looking to validate it regardless of what anyone actually said.

    Conversely, I was introduced to homosexuality at age 11 and have worked with similar individuals. I can attest that the "you are gay, get used to it" mentality of gay affirmative therapy can be viciously damaging and intolerant.

    Any therapy can be weaponized.

  • Yorkshire Logan, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 5:17 a.m.

    "He will even break a covenant to fix an appetite." Elder Neal A. Maxwell, Oct Conference 1990

  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 9, 2018 12:03 a.m.

    estebanborup - Brunswick, GA
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:09 a.m.
    The bottom line: "If you’re more attached to your sexual identity than you are to your membership and your discipleship of Christ, if any of those labels come before ‘a disciple of Christ,’ then it’s not going to be easy for you in the Church."

    Commitment to being an integrated person and accepting all parts of yourself should not be in conflict with being a disciple of Christ. If God didn't want us to have a sexual self to go along with our mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual self he wouldn't have given us that part of ourselves either.

    The animal kingdom is full of same sex attraction. If you believe God didn't screw up in creating the earth, people, and animals you have to believe he had purpose in allowing same sex attraction to exist whether in people or animals.

    The problem is with people that can't embrace all parts of themselves and allow others to do the same as well.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Feb. 8, 2018 6:11 p.m.

    @ Yar
    I believe you mean well. But you as many others are talking about something you don't know.

    KevinSim -
    You asked EscherEnigma . Do you still believe in God? Have you found a faith community that helps you stay in touch with God? I'm not saying I suspect you haven't; I really just want to know.
    I am not EscherEnigma, But if you don't mind I will answer those question from my position.
    As a returned missionary, I wanted to marry and have family as I was taught. I also knew that if I married a girl I would be deceiving the mother of my children. I did reparative therapy and everything else suggested by my church leaders, to no avail.

    Eventually I met the man who has been my companion for 37 years. We have an adopted daughter who is planning to marry soon (Straight marriage). My husband and I are very, very happy. Regarding your questions: Yes! I do believe in God. He has been with us every step of our journey. I no longer believe in organized religion, but I do visit different denominations when I need to feel "the communion of the saints".

    Why am I gay and you are straight? I don't know. But, I do know that we are not different in the eyes of God.

  • equal protection Cedar, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 6:09 p.m.

    kvnsmnsn - Springville, UT wrote:

    "... make his marriage work, even if the object of his sexual attraction isn't his wife any more."
    ----

    That sure sounds like one fine marriage, be it same sex or a heterosexual marriage.

  • way2go Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:48 p.m.

    These comments from faithful members of the church are breaking my heart. As someone who is recently in a situation like this I see where people would leave the church. When someone deals with severe depression do we shun them and tell them you just need to think positively and you'll be better? No. There are many members who have these feelings and are trying their hardest to stay active in the church. But guess what? There isn't a safe place of an outpouring of love. Many in this same position were told by leaders to get married and it would go away. Then 5 or 20 years down the road when it doesn't go away a family is devastated. Even if it doesn't end in divorce, trust was lost. Your sense of security is shattered. If they kept it a secret that long they usually come out to their spouses because their self hatred had become unbearable. Suicide feels like a better option. Please, all of you who have just condemned those in this situation take a step back. Try to understand what is going on. These aren't just acts of selfishness. It's trying to find peace without being shamed by others who tell you to have more faith or we all have trials so get over it. This is extremely painful.

  • Rutaguer Preston, ID
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:48 p.m.

    Gay members of the church are not doing anyone any favors, especially themselves, when they refuse to admit that the church is absolutely wrong in their stance and actions towards LGBTQ members. Actions such as this man made only set back advancement because it makes the closed minded leaders think there must be promise to their ideas if people are willing to follow their naive directions. Being gay is a natural occurrence, stop pretending to yourself that it isn't. My personal opinion is that were this the true church, this would not be an issue in the first place. I recommend looking elsewhere (or completely) and stop beating your head against an immovable object.

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:44 p.m.

    Equal protection posted:

    =Keyboarder said "I accept that I need to actually check my desires and even
    =learn and decide to find new ways to be attracted to my wife as we get older."
    =I don't think your analogy means what you think it means. Same issue for
    =married same gender couples. What does this have to do with heterosexual or
    =homosexual orientation?

    I think Keyboarder's point was that just as a man perpetually attracted to young women can do the decent thing and make his marriage work, even when the two of them grow older, so can Josh Weed make his marriage work, even if the object of his sexual attraction isn't his wife any more.

  • kvnsmnsn Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:37 p.m.

    LoryV posted:

    =Those who practice homosexuality are choosing a path with no future. The
    =ability to procreate is abolished. The opportunity to nurture a family erased.
    =I would hope that recognizing this fact would be enough to reevaluate their
    =decisions.

    Wow, LoryV, you've really opened my eyes. I'm going to rush out right now and find a divorce lawyer. My wife and I are heterosexual, but for medical reasons our own ability to procreate was also abolished. Recognizing this, I guess we too should reevaluate our decision to get married 26 years ago. I guess for 26 years we've been living a lie. For the record though, our "opportunity to nurture a family" was not at all erased. We adopted three children 21 years ago. And with the current laws in the United States gay and lesbian couples can adopt too. In fact, lesbian couples don't even need to adopt; all they need are sperm donors and then they can have their own biological children.

  • equal protection Cedar, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:16 p.m.

    Keyboarder said "I accept that I need to actually check my desires and even learn and decide to find new ways to be attracted to my wife as we get older." I don't think your analogy means what you think it means. Same issue for married same gender couples. What does this have to do with heterosexual or homosexual orientation? I think we are losing focus on a marriage ending over a the importance of living a true and an authentic life. Lessons their children might be lucky to learn early. More importantly, according to the Governor, Utah youth are taking their own lives at a rate of about 1 a week. What is being done to prevent the fire raging in our own community? Shoulder shrugging, thoughts and prayers are not enough. Where is the will?

  • NoNamesAccepted St. George, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:15 p.m.

    @EscherEnigma: "and no, "celibate" and "opposite sex married" are not good places"

    Having married much later in life than many active LDS do, I'm the first to say that celibacy is very unpleasant. More so than the physical celibacy, the emotional loneliness and isolation of being alone are very difficult for many who married young and have never been alone to understand.

    Many un-married LDS have struggles similar to those expressed by LDS who have homosexual attractions. Celibacy, singleness, and loneliness can be overwhelming. A church that focuses so much on the eternal nature of families can exacerbate those feelings for many who are not married.

    As marriage gets less common generally, and temple worthy companions seem even more scarce, single LDS often feel left without good options. Hook up for what little companionship that brings? Marry outside the faith? Remain alone and active?

    Even so, singles might retain hope for temple marriage in this life while homosexuals are left in an even more difficult position. I don't claim perfect understanding, but I think I've had insights.

    And yet, sexual immorality cannot lead to lasting happiness. It is a rough row to hoe.

  • keyboarder College Station, TX
    Feb. 8, 2018 4:27 p.m.

    My intent is only to address the idea that "gay people and straight people cannot attach to one another". I'm not gay, rather I am attracted to young women... but now I'm married and old and overweight. My natural attractions have not necessary evolved with my age and circumstance. I could easily label myself and explain how emotionally deceiving it is to deny my natural desires and lifelong attractions. Instead, I accept that I need to actually check my desires and even learn and decide to find new ways to be attracted to my wife as we get older. Modern media bombards me with images of young, scantily clad girls, but I still must choose for myself not to just throw up my hands and decide to follow my natural inclinations. I choose to actively choose my thoughts and actions to keep from obsessing with natural desires that would harm my family relationships. I choose to attach to my wife, physically but also in all other ways. My relationship with her (and my entire family) is more important than any in-born attractions or tendencies. No matter your attractions or the labels placed on you, it is a false and sad idea that two people cannot choose to attach to each other.

  • LoryV South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 4:24 p.m.

    I can’t imagine the challenge with same sex attraction. I’m grateful that hasn’t been my test of faith. What concerns me even more is the attitudes or opinions of those who truly believe the Lord will change doctrine or the laws of God. It simply won’t happen. Homosexuality is a sin. That statement isn’t meant to be cold or hateful. It’s the truth. We are all sinners. We also are allowed agency to choose what sins or temptations we succumb to, or resist. I can’t imagine it’s easy fighting same sex attraction, or any other sin. The carnal man in nature is an enemy to God. It’s clear, or should be, that this and any other sexually motivated sin is promoted by the adversary. If those who are being tested and tried because of homosexuality would seriously consider the fact that this “lifestyle” choice is self destructive maybe, just maybe, they would see the bigger picture. Those who practice homosexuality are choosing a path with no future. The ability to procreate is abolished. The opportunity to nurture a family erased. I would hope that recognizing this fact would be enough to reevaluate their decisions. Those who choose this lifestyle appear to be thinking only of themselves.

  • Light and Liberty St George, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:49 p.m.

    I find nothing admirable about this family bringing us in on their problems, challenges, successes, etc. Now the children will suffer thrice. Once, for their parent's divorce. Two, for having parents who made all this openness in the end about themselves, not them. Three, trying to deconstruct and lead their own lives separate from the problems created by their parents. Whether you think their lifestyle is O.K., the children have been forgotten. When are people going to forget about themselves long enough to remember the innocent victims of their decisions?

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:48 p.m.

    EscherEnigma posted:

    =If I told you that you'd be better off divorcing them, in a contentious bitter
    =divorce where you had to denounce everything you every shared, spit on all the
    =years together, and then renounce any hope of ever finding love again... All on
    =the basis of "trust me"?

    EscherEnigma, I'm not like Yar. I consider myself much more a moderate than a conservative. For the record I would like to see the day when the LDS Church doesn't excommunicate legally married gay and lesbian couples. But I'm genuinely curious about your life away from activity in the LDS Church. Do you still believe in God? Have you found a faith community that helps you stay in touch with God? I'm not saying I suspect you haven't; I really just want to know.

  • Lane Myer Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:40 p.m.

    I am sorry. It was .05% get positive results from aversion therapy. Five one hundreds of one percent.

  • Martinez Pleasant Grove, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:38 p.m.

    Not one mention of the 4 kids. I think you quit thinking about yourself and make the best out of the decision you already made. Not easy, but it is the right thing to do.

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:37 p.m.

    Manzanita posted:

    =There is nothing that does more to validate my decision to recently leave
    =Mormonism than reading comments in the Des News from members who judge and
    =condemn the "lifestyle choices" of beautiful, compassionate human beings like
    =Josh and Molly Weed.

    Manzanita, is the LDS Church just a social club to you, then?

    The LDS Church certainly cramps my style enough; it would be a lot easier to be an active part of it if so many of its members didn't have very conservative philosophies. But I'm a member of the LDS Church because I believe God told me He wanted me to be part of it, not because God ever promised me that the rest of the members would have philosophies that harmonized with mine.

    The way I see it, someone should be a Latter-day Saint because s/he believes God runs the church; if s/he is convinced God doesn't run the church, then absolutely s/he should leave the church. But what the other members of the church think about Josh and Lolly Weed doesn't necessarily have anything to do with what God wants that someone to do.

  • Lane Myer Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:36 p.m.

    " Even after marriage these feelings did not go away but persisted. Fortunately, I was referred to a therapist who introduced me to aversion or electro-shock therapy. It took about a year and a half of bi-weekly treatments and serious atonement with my savior in order eventually over come my same-sex attraction. "

    You are one of about .005% who had aversion therapy actually help them. Most of those .005% stated that they did not become hetersexual, but asexual. The 99.995% that this did not help, even though it was tried at BYU with willing volunteers, became depressed, suicidal and had a great loss of personal worth because it did not work for them. There are quite a few state that ban this type of therapy because the positive results are so very minimal and the risks are so great. I would not ask anyone to take this upon them as an answer.

    Even the LDS church states in their website that it is not a chosen attraction. It also states that some may never be rid of same-sex attraction in this life.

    Please be careful of giving hope where the most likely outcome is depression, loss of self-worth and maybe suicide.

  • StinkyPete Farmington, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:15 p.m.

    The article never mentioned the four little girls that where brought into the marriage because they wanted to play house for awhile and the damage and heartbreak this will cause them. It's all about the selfish adults and their happiness.

  • DHuber Palmyra, NY
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:04 p.m.

    Most of us are born with desires and proclivities that are contrary to God's Plan. Why must some be overcome but others are to be yielded to because "that is who we are"?

  • 5th Amendment Salt Lake, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 3:00 p.m.

    When I came back from my mission I too found myself struggling with same-sex attraction and couldn't believe the lord was testing me this way. Though aversion therapy and a same sex twelve step program for those who don't believe in the gay lifestyle, along with living the lords commandments, forgiveness, repentance and the power of atonement these samae-sex attractions are now gone. I am dating a wonderful woman and we plan to temple marry in a few months. I believe Satan is out there and wants to tempt us with sin by finding a weakness. Our heavenly father is much stronger and all we have to do is obey his commandments.

  • Manzanita , 00
    Feb. 8, 2018 1:47 p.m.

    There is nothing that does more to validate my decision to recently leave Mormonism than reading comments in the Des News from members who judge and condemn the "lifestyle choices" of beautiful, compassionate human beings like Josh and Molly Weed.

  • Yar Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 1:33 p.m.

    @EscherEnigma

    Well that’s just my perspective on the matter. It just simply won’t last. The Lord has said that many times. It’s been emphasized in the Bible. Look, I know it sounds illogical to you or something, but I’m not saying these things deceitfully. I truthfully mean that it simply won’t lead to lasting happiness. Commandments exist for a reason. It’s to protect you. It’s to protect all of us. If you disagree with me on all that, that’s OK. It’s your life and choices and I still think you’re a good person. A very good person. But in the end, I’m only saying this because I believe you’ll be happier that way. So that’s my food for thought.

  • worf McAllen, TX
    Feb. 8, 2018 1:23 p.m.

    All temptations are an attraction.

    Deal with it!

    Quit making excuses and justifying it. It will eventually ruin you.

    Every temptation can be overcome.

  • EscherEnigma Ridgecrest, CA
    Feb. 8, 2018 1:14 p.m.

    @Yar
    "Sure, you may experience some happiness from it at first, but at the end of the day, it simply isn’t the best idea. [...] Trust me on that."
    You married? Presumably to someone you love?

    If I told you that you'd be better off divorcing them, in a contentious bitter divorce where you had to denounce everything you every shared, spit on all the years together, and then renounce any hope of ever finding love again... All on the basis of "trust me"?

    Would you?

    Because that's what you just told me. Knowing *nothing* about my husband, our marriage, the life we've built together. Just on the basis that we're gay, you want me to burn down my life.

    And you think I should *trust* you? Dude, if you were a real-life friend, that'd be grounds for cutting you out of my life.

  • Thomas Thompson Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 12:35 p.m.

    So-called "reparative therapy" has long since been thoroughly discredited. However, it must be suggested that a good many people do have genuine struggles with understanding their own sexual attractions -- which may indeed be funamentally focused on men, on women, or both. This often means that these people spend a good deal of time trying to know themselves well enough to understand -- as fully as possible -- their sexual preferences, and sometimes they err, at first, in coming to a genuine understanding about that. That's why a consultation with a great therapist can make all the difference.

  • Heidi Lynn Maple Valley, WA
    Feb. 8, 2018 12:01 p.m.

    No one has walked in the Weeds shoes and understands their extremely painful burden and their emotions and thoughts and reasons. We don't FEEL it like they do. Sometimes the roads we choose are more difficult than we ever imagined. Living it is an entirely different thing. They love each other and were honest from the start. They worked at being successful for a very long time. Their painful decisions are ones, I'm sure, were made with prayer. They still love each other and that is wonderful because the children will still be loved and cared for by both parents and not caught up in fighting X's. The Lord knows. He knows the intentions of their hearts and the struggles each suffer. I pray for the strength to make good choices that will give them the happiness they deserve. I pray that what they seek will not end up being only a temporary fix but the real deal with lasting peace. In the end, it's between God and them. They are wonderful people. What we can do is, as friends, no matter how we feel about what they did, or do, with their lives, is to extend our love and support in helping this family remain as intact as it can so that love and respect continue for the children.

  • Yar Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:55 a.m.

    @EscherEnigma

    I applaud your concerns for the LGBT community. I really do. But I think you need to understand. There’s only so much a same-sex sexual relationship can do. Sure, you may experience some happiness from it at first, but at the end of the day, it simply isn’t the best idea. We don’t teach that out of hate. We do this out of love and concern. We have gay members who understand that. I know it’s a difficult doctrine to follow, but it’s not impossible. And those who choose to follow this valuable doctrine are blessed significantly. Sexual attractions don’t determine our choices. Only ourselves can make those choices. I know that for a fact. And I've given hope to people who struggle with these things. There is hope for them. Trust me on that. I know it's worth the effort.

  • EscherEnigma Ridgecrest, CA
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:41 a.m.

    Well, this is all predictably tragic.

    But until y'all find a place for gay folk in your church that wouldn't requir me to divorce my husband, this'll keep happening.

    I mean, I suppose if you found a way to stop having gay babies that would work as well.

    But so long as you have gay kids, and don't have a good place for them (and no, "celibate" and "opposite sex married" are not good places), you'll find things like this where they try to find a way to reconcile their faith with their biology, and sooner or later it doesn't work.

    @Mods: is *that* tame enough for y'all?

  • Movinon Fort Wayne, IN
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:40 a.m.

    I find it sad and slightly entertaining when non-LDS like to say what the Church should and should not do. It's always very clear they do not understand who is in charge of the Church. Let me help some, we do not ask God to conform to our desires, we promise to change our lives, to become more than instinct driven and selfish. We do this by being disciples of Christ.

    Christ taught to serve others, NOT to feed your own selfish desires. Marriage is putting aside those selfish impulses and serving their spouse and children. Unfortunately more people marry thinking they should receive something or divorce because their needs aren't met.

    Selfishness pushes you to cheat on your spouse, to put my job before family, to feel I deserve. Put off the selfish natural man and embrace Christ. This is a life long pursuit that is worth MORE than you can imagine and the impact is immediate as well as eternal.

  • Karen R. Houston, TX
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:40 a.m.

    @ Tom Johnson

    "The fact that Josh has fathered 4 children demonstrates conclusively that he is not solely homosexual."

    Would you mind providing your reasoning on this? I'd like to know how you reached this conclusion.

  • Sasha Pachev Provo, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:39 a.m.

    I think the teachings of the Gospel are very clear on what a man is supposed to do if he for some reason lost the physical attraction to his wife - regardless of the reason, whether something is wrong with him or with her. He should continue to love her, stay married, and find other ways to nurture the relationship. Eventually we will get old, our hormones will be subdued, and we will experience a decrease of physical attraction to each other. We may experience some strange attractions as well which will need to be controlled. Physical attraction is a temporary earthly jump-start to make it easier for us to understand the nature of eternal marriage. While definitely very helpful, eventually all of us will deal with the challenge of not having it with us. It is unfortunate that the world has introduced so much confusion that these divine principles are very poorly understood today.

  • Lilly Munster , 00
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:34 a.m.

    They are not discussing this openly, as many have accused them, to gain fame and fortune. They are actually brave, honest, loving people. They and their children will survive. They now have honesty to conquer the reality that they find themselves in......in a marriage that is not really a marriage.
    What has actually happened? In their own words, their families, culture and religion misled them into believing that a gay person could marry a straight person, and somehow "make it work." Ask yourself, what chance would your marriage have if you had made that risky, choice? The gay community is not mocking them, they are encouraging their honesty.
    Who, in their right mind, would ever recommend a marriage such as theirs, or oppose them in making amends for the misinformation they did indeed support until reality set in?
    Some are asking, why did they make this public? Again, in their own words, they are helping others to not delude themselves. Their only compatible factor is that they are Best Friends, that they love their children and each other, but that does not make a whole, honest, fulfilling marriage.

  • Lilly Munster , 00
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:34 a.m.

    They are not discussing this openly, as many have accused them, to gain fame and fortune. They are actually brave, honest, loving people. They and their children will survive. They now have honesty to conquer the reality that they find themselves in......in a marriage that is not really a marriage.
    What has actually happened? In their own words, their families, culture and religion misled them into believing that a gay person could marry a straight person, and somehow "make it work." Ask yourself, what chance would your marriage have if you had made that risky, choice? The gay community is not mocking them, they are encouraging their honesty.
    Who, in their right mind, would ever recommend a marriage such as theirs, or oppose them in making amends for the misinformation they did indeed support until reality set in?
    Some are asking, why did they make this public? Again, in their own words, they are helping others to not delude themselves. Their only compatible factor is that they are Best Friends, that they love their children and each other, but that does not make a whole, honest, fulfilling marriage.

  • CMTM , 00
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:18 a.m.

    RE: Uncle Rico . “A great example of what not to do.” True,

    (Jesus)Honor thy father and thy mother(Not significant other) (Mt 19:19)

  • antodav Tampa, FL
    Feb. 8, 2018 11:09 a.m.

    The way that this couple’s story ultimately unfolded was sad, but predictable. The Church has always advised people with same-sex attraction against entering into these kinds of relationships for a reason: because they are inherently unhealthy and don’t often work. The Weeds certainly did put on a good show of making it seem like it was working for a very long time, but ultimately, the faÇade became too difficult to maintain. I wouldn’t encourage anyone to terminate their marriage, but it’s highly inadvisable for anyone to enter into this sort of situation voluntarily, especially if they intend to bring children into it.

    It’s almost enough to make me wish that the Church had some sort of monastic order that would allow LGBT members to live their faith without having to pretend to be something that they’re not. But unfortunately there’s no place in LDS doctrine for monks and nuns like there is in Catholicism. There’s no easy answer for people in this situation and I can’t even think of one that I would recommend.

  • Uncle Rico Provo, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:59 a.m.

    These people are trying to be the Kardashians for Mormons.
    Why should we be interested in what they did? They are not role-models they just want publicity, and sacrificed their children's happiness for attention.
    A great example of what not to do.

  • Gilanddonna7 Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:57 a.m.

    Black37:
    I struggle with the "innate wiring from God/birth" idea. Why would God create someone with this sexual desire, especially one born into and baptized a member of the Church with its teachings of a loving God, a caring Heavenly Father, who would then watch His son/daughter struggle with the very doctrine and truths of the Church He wants them to believe in, to love the gospel of His Son and believe in the Atonement of His Son, etc? That doesn't make sense. If we believe we are children of God, we cannot ascribe that "He made me that way" to Him. That is an affront and offensive. I don't pretend to know where/how this identity is developed, but I do not believe it is God-given.

  • Light and Liberty St George, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:53 a.m.

    I can't help but wonder the resentment and the contempt that their children may feel toward all of this. Not only do they have to deal with divorce, but also that their parents choice of making all this public, as if making your struggles public will lesson the burdens or assuage the guilt. I don't see a lot of good coming from this for their children, which begs the question: Is marriage just about the two people getting married or does God and the children matter?

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:47 a.m.

    TheOtter posted:

    =This is a great article, but I do wonder why it keeps using the term “LGBT.”
    =Nothing in this article has anything to do with transgender people, who have
    =very different struggles than those who experience same-sex attraction.

    And the acronym keeps getting longer! I've seen LGBTQIA, and on the webpage for Kathie Allen (the Democratic candidate that I actually voted for, who ran to fill the seat in the House of Representatives that Jason Chaffetz vacated), there was a section for LGBTQIA+. As I understand it, the Q is for those questioning whether they might be gay or not (or I guess transgender or not), the I is for intersexuals, and the A is for asexuals. I took a look at the plus sign on the end and discovered that it referred to a number of other sexual minorities, including those people who practiced sadism / masochism. I read that and thought, WHY is it exactly that polygamy is illegal now? Is sadism / masochism REALLY better than polygamy?

  • wwookie Payson, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:44 a.m.

    Morgan,
    you are a fantastic writer. Many times I read an article where I don't expect to gain much insight and then surprisingly I gain well explained varying views on issues. The funny thing is that I then see who wrote the piece and 9 times out of ten it is you.

    that aside, I wish that people would just stop trying to identify as one thing or another and just live their lives. Being honest and open up front will save more headaches along the way. I am familiar with two different relationships where the man cheated on his wife with a man. In neither of those cases was the wife aware of the same-sex attractions of their husband at the time of marriage. It would have been better, in my opinion, that the husband feel comfortable enough and have the integrity to share those attractions before marriage. Those two cases may have ended differently with less heartbreak.

    The other thing in common with those two cases was that the cheating was preluded with the husband becoming a frequent visitor to pornographic websites. Again, doing things in the dark instead of being honest and forthcoming.

    Honesty, Integrity and Create a Society where we feel comfortable sharing our feelings

  • KevinSim Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:36 a.m.

    Thomas Jefferson posted:

    =We all have different paths in life. My path got better when I read the bible
    =and realized all religion was a scam.

    That statement is like if your namesake, the original Thomas Jefferson, had said that his life got better when he read the history of the world, and realized all political systems were scams. Religious systems are necessary, just like political systems are necessary. Existing or prior political systems may be bad for society, but they're better than anarchy, and an analogous situation holds for religion. And in Jefferson's case, a better political system (of his own construction) was just around the corner.

  • Bloodhound Provo, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:31 a.m.

    I get frustrated with the twisting of Christ's teachings. In both the Old and New Testament the practice of homosexuality is clearly condemned as a sin. If God and the Apostles got it wrong, what else did they get wrong? Liberal Christians want to pick and choose what they want when it comes to God's laws. It doesn't work like that way.

  • Yar Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:28 a.m.

    To those with same-gender attractions, I say to you that you’re not alone and that you are not trapped. You don’t have to act upon your feelings if you don’t want to. You truly do have the strength to be a better person. It’s in you. Don’t let the world tell you otherwise. Don’t believe their lies. They know nothing about you. Only God and you, yourself, know everything about yourself and your situation. You can choose to be chaste if you desire to do so. That is a righteous desire. It will be difficult (I do not doubt that reality), but the payoff you get from chastity is worth millions. Much more than you and I think. Be strong and let Jesus be your guide!

  • Carol7 Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:21 a.m.

    What about the children? They are the victims here....not the parents. Divorce is one of the most painful things that can happen in a child's life. Shame on the Weeds for not recognizing that fact.

  • BradJames Manti, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 10:15 a.m.

    all of us come to the temporal world vexed with certain proclivities we must overcome. LGBT does not get a special dispensation to sin. We all must bridle our passions and yes, I love those who are struggling with LGBT issues. Endure to the end.

  • Tom Johnson Spanish Fork, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:55 a.m.

    I was really saddened when I learned Josh and Molly were breaking up. I listened as they explained themselves on the Trib podcast. Having been involved as a counselor in this area for 14 years, I can't support their decision. The fact that Josh has fathered 4 children demonstrates conclusively that he is not solely homosexual. It seems he has bought into the lie that his identity is homosexual and that it is important to find himself by pursuing that choice, which sounds very selfish. He said that the problem started last year when his mother died and he lost the ability to have sexual relations with Molly. That is a totally separate issue that could be treated without having to break up the marriage. It also seems Molly bought into the lie that Josh would always be homosexual, even after the resurrection so they could never have an eternal marriage. I believe that Josh's stated intention to pursue homosexuality will only lead to pain, suffering, and regret.

  • Mayfair Logan, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:51 a.m.

    The bottom line: "If you’re more attached to your sexual identity than you are to your children and their happiness" you are someday going to end up with regret.

    So many have endured so much and denied themselves so much to ensure the happiness of their children.

    'Being authentic' to yourself and your needs might seem like a great idea--- but if it comes at the price of pain and unhappiness of those children you chose to bring into the world, someday you are going to regret putting your happiness above theirs.

  • Yar Springville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:44 a.m.

    Mr. Weed, you will always be a valued son of God in my book. Those things you went through is certainly difficult but you certainly are not alone. God bless you my friend!

  • Dada369 Gilbert, AZ
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:41 a.m.

    Only the scriptures, prophetical statements or the Family Proclamation should be used to define this issue for Church Members. We should love all of our brothers and sisters as Christ loved. All should be treated by the Golden Rule. Same sex attraction is only a sin when acted upon. Many members have lived their entire lives with this challenge and stayed in accordance with Church teachings. I pray that we all have tolerance and Christ’s love for all of Gods children.

  • Light and Liberty St George, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:23 a.m.

    Black37: How judgemental you are! Relics! God as a relic! I respectfully take issue with your description of God and His commandments for His children. I think what will be a relic are the deceptions that cover this land temporarily (the world is much older than trends and deceptions from the last 20 years). Already, the heavy load of those who have lived this lifestyle the past 30-40 years are becoming evident: No posterity to nurture them in their old age.

  • EscherEnigma Ridgecrest, CA
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:11 a.m.

    This is pretty simple folks. Even if you think it's "right" for a gay man to marry a woman and try to ignore the problems... Why would you *ever* wish that on a straight woman?

    Imagine it's your daughter. "Yeah, he's gay. We'll probably have sex a couple of times to try and have babies, but it's not going to be satisfying for either of us, going to make me doubt my self-worth, challenge both our faiths, and probably going to end in divorce or suicide in the next two or three decades. You think I should say yes?"

    If you're that desperate to see your daughter married that you would wish such a life on her, I question your priorities.

  • Kevin Surrey, BC
    Feb. 8, 2018 9:01 a.m.

    I wish the Weeds all the best in their journey forward. I certainly don't have any answers to this complex issue of being gay in the church. However, I do live by and believe the Proclamation on the Family and the Law of Chastity. These are core doctrines that the church will never stray from despite anything going on in the world. We all just have to live with the hope that the Father has a perfect plan for each of his precious children and one day all will be made right. "As I have loved you, love one another" Let's treat each other with kindness and respect despite any differences.

  • dmcvey Los Angeles, CA
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:58 a.m.

    I feel for them, although more so for the children as the adults went into this with their eyes wide open.

    I can't imagine marrying someone you know isn't physically attracted to you.

  • abualo1 Riverdale, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:43 a.m.

    It is not my please to judge. The one thing I know is divorce is hard on everyone and harder on the children.

  • Light and Liberty St George, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:27 a.m.

    What is hardly ever talked about, but is a reality that is constant and will be full of regret in time. You stay in a marriage because of the children. Selfishness is manifested when two people marry, can't make or live with the changes and challenges that come with a covenant relationship with God, then divorce. The children become the last victims of their selfishness. If you start out with the doctrines that are clearly stated by the Lord and His church, adhere to them, society's views (driven by the ever moving societal norms and media hype attendant to such), you are going to be confused. Stick with God, stop talking about 'your own truth' and listen to the truth. Men are expected to act, think, and feel like men and women are to act, think, and feel like a women! Simplicity wasn't easy, but truth doesn't change. I can be extend the hand of fellowship to any sinner, being one myself, but to continue to tell them a truth can be your own interpretation, is a lie; a lie abetting the deception. All of these 'truth seekers' are going to eventually run into the same wall; God doesn't change! That leaves only one option; make changes yourself.

  • Black37 Kaysville, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:22 a.m.

    @Yorkshire - "Just so sad. I know so many couples who have weathered greater storms than this for the sake of their children. Too bad they could not do the same."

    What is really "too bad" is the torment and struggle of trying, trying, and trying to fit into a religious ideal that will never be realized due to one's innate wiring from God/birth. Mark my words, those within religions who hold this type of judgmental orthodox view will be relics in 10-20 years. Those who hold these views will realize that they were on the wrong side of history.

    The younger generation are not interested in the orthodoxy of the Pharisees . They are receiving revelation unclouded by rules and tradition and are inspired to be caring, loving, and understanding.

  • estebanborup Brunswick, GA
    Feb. 8, 2018 8:09 a.m.

    The bottom line: "If you’re more attached to your sexual identity than you are to your membership and your discipleship of Christ, if any of those labels come before ‘a disciple of Christ,’ then it’s not going to be easy for you in the Church."

  • JonathanPDX Portland, Oregon
    Feb. 8, 2018 7:52 a.m.

    @Thomas Jefferson - Not all religions (philosophies, ideologies, etc.) are scams...only those with which we happen to disagree.

    I wish Josh and Molly Weed all the best in their future lives.

    Hopefully they both find happiness and choose to do the best they can at making mostly right choices...just like all the rest of us want to.

    Someday, when we're all sitting around our heavenly cloud comparing notes, we won't be ashamed at how we treated any of our brothers or sisters.

  • ssev Maple Grove, MN
    Feb. 8, 2018 7:43 a.m.

    "Imagine Dragons lead singer Dan Reynolds’ documentary “Believer” ... explores the relationship between The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and its LGBT members."

    This is an incredibly important documentary. I'm impressed that Deseret News would permit a reference to it; for it lays out the case that all human beings, regardless of their sexual orientaration, should be allowed to experience life the way they choose, let them worship and experience their sexual orientation as they choose (see the 11th Article of Faith of the Prophet Joseph Smith) , without tossing them out of the Church.

  • theOtter Cincinnati, OH
    Feb. 8, 2018 7:40 a.m.

    This is a great article, but I do wonder why it keeps using the term “LGBT.” Nothing in this article has anything to do with transgender people, who have very different struggles than those who experience same-sex attraction. (And yes, I realize that many transgender people also experience same-sex attraction, but it remains a separate issue.)

    Perhaps if we stopped lumping “T” in with “LGB,” we could better understand both.

  • No H8 - Celebrate Salt Lake, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 7:11 a.m.

    It saddens me to hear of another marriage dissolving because of same sex attraction. Years ago, before I married and had a wonderful family, I too had sexual feelings towards members of the same sex. Even after marriage these feelings did not go away but persisted. Fortunately, I was referred to a therapist who introduced me to aversion or electro-shock therapy. It took about a year and a half of bi-weekly treatments and serious atonement with my savior in order eventually over come my same-sex attraction. Everyone has a story and their outcome may indeed be different, but I'm am so grateful the lord guided me to successful treatment and gave me the blessings of a wonderful wife and family that come with living the gospel of Jesus Christ.

  • OneHumanFamily Provo, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 6:04 a.m.

    How many times are we going to hear the same story before the church and church members realize that pressuring gay people to marry straight people does not work?

    Accept the fact that gay people exist and welcome gay couples and their families into the church. Let's move on!

  • unrepentant progressive Bozeman, MT
    Feb. 8, 2018 5:30 a.m.

    What is difficult for me to wrap my arms around is this. Gay man marries heterosexual woman, and for a time lives as heterosexual. For whatever reasons, the pressure of suppressing his innate sexual desires becomes too much. Gay man renounces his conversion to "Mollysexuality" to revert back to being gay. None of this is news really. I am sure this happens a lot in fundamentalist religions. The problem is the publicity.

    While it is worthy that the couple come out of their marriage honestly and publicly as they lived their former lives, how much damage was done to fragile homosexuals begging to live an ordained religious tenet? How damaged do all the parties and their relatives emerge from this travesty? And a travesty it is. IMO, it is a travesty for two people to marry who do not wholly and completely love one another in the physical and emotional sense. And a travesty for a homosexual to marry heterosexually to hide from his/her nature to satisfy religion convention.

    There are many ways to live a righteous life, and many faiths that allow that to be done. A gay person trying to live according to fundamentalist strictures is a square peg in a round hole world.

  • Karen R. Houston, TX
    Feb. 8, 2018 4:50 a.m.

    I think fidelity to religious ideas over evidence-based knowledge can lead people to contort themselves in unnatural ways. This story is just another example of this.

  • Yorkshire Logan, UT
    Feb. 8, 2018 2:18 a.m.

    Just so sad. I know so many couples who have weathered greater storms than this for the sake of their children. Too bad they could not do the same.

  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 11:27 p.m.

    People's sexual identity is part of who they are. Denying that or repressing that part of who we are doesn't change that fact. If people could just put Christ above their sexual needs and identity than people should be able to be priests and nuns with no sex life. How many people can do that? By denying who you are or pretending someone can meet your sexual needs when they can't creates all kind of problems for people. Would straight people be counseled to marry gay people? Would they be asked to set aside their sexual needs to make the relationship work? No. Why would it make sense to counsel gay people to marry straight people and do that?

    Society needs to face that people need to be with their own kind to have the best chance of making a relationship work. Religious beliefs seem to be the thing that stops people from being able to do that. In that sense it does not serve them well.

  • Llew40 Sandy, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 9:12 p.m.

    Congrats to Josh and Molly for putting their own needs and desires first. What a great example of temple marriage for their four beautiful little girls who will one day create families of their own. Most little girls look to their own fathers as to what (and what not) to look for when choosing who the father of her children should be. Another reason why 51% of women in the church are currently single.

  • bleedred13 Provo, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 6:28 p.m.

    This article is in stark contrast to the Salt Lake Tribune and the Weed’s blog, and that’s terribly disappointing.

    Rather then allow the Weed’s to tell their story, your article relies more heavily on Mansfield’s opinion and others like him.

    Mansfield’s quote about “broad generalizations” and “irresponsibility” couldn’t be further from the truth. The lifestyle that he promotes to Mormon youth is far more damaging than the Weed’s speaking their truth - which they clearly outline as being their truth. But reading this article, you wouldn’t know what the Weed’s said, because their voice was barely heard.

  • BlueSchwinn Seattle, WA
    Feb. 7, 2018 6:13 p.m.

    It looks like despite warnings from the Church and the Weeds, some commentators encourage mixed marriages ("it works for me"). So sure, if bi orientation and mild libido: go for it. But the combination of a strong libido and a gay orientation in a straight marriage is like a fault line; incremental changes invisible to the naked eye will eventually lead to catastrophic upheavals. I know.

  • BleedCougarBlue Enid, OK
    Feb. 7, 2018 5:44 p.m.

    @ Go Utes -

    I don't cheer for the same team you do but I'll tell you what, I agree 100% with your post. You, Sir, are very wise.

  • Dan Maloy Enid, OK
    Feb. 7, 2018 5:43 p.m.

    @ Thomas Jefferson - Cottonwood Heights, UT - Feb. 7, 2018 4:48 p.m. - "We all have different paths in life. My path got better when I read the bible and realized all religion was a scam."

    Ok, that's your opinion. Here's mine:

    We all have different paths in life, but we should all be doing our best to walk the path back to our common home: heaven. My path got better when I read the Bible AND The Book of Mormon and learned for myself that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is truly Christ's church, restored to the earth once more.

    Hey, if they'll post your opinion, why not mine?

  • Donald Johnson Northern, MI
    Feb. 7, 2018 5:29 p.m.

    Was the attempt at marriage a bad choice? Not in my book. Seems like a wonderful family and children resulted, which wouldn't have happened otherwise. Seems like a couple that was greatly blessed in many ways. I understand the desire for greater sexual fulfillment, but I wish they had chosen to stick with it. Either way, I wish their whole family the best.

  • Go Utes Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 5:13 p.m.

    It seems to me that one of the biggest stresses in their marriage is one that I have not seen talked about much: that the public was let in to their marriage. It is great in some ways that they opened up to the public about their relationship, but there is a big downside when one does this. Suddenly what should be the most intimate, private, and sacred part of one's life is now open for the world to read and comment on. One wonders how their marriage would have progressed had they just kept to themselves.

    No matter what one is going through in a marriage, no one should feel the need to invite the world into the relationship. I am not saying it is wrong to do so. I am just saying that before doing so, the cost to and affect on the relationship should be taken into account. No amount of likes or attention on a blog should be worth the price of a broken marriage, to the extent that it has any part in the end of the marriage.

    I wonder how many marriages, not just the Weeds, have been harmed by opening up this most intimate and private part of life to the public. In this world of social media and over-sharing, families should proceed with extreme caution before posting.

  • Facts are friendly Sandy, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 5:08 p.m.

    This is not the recommended choice by church leaders btw. Too many of these marriages end tragically 20 years down the road leaving wives and children disillusioned.

    That said, best of luck to these two remarkable people.

  • Thomas Jefferson Cottonwood Heights, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 4:48 p.m.

    We all have different paths in life. My path got better when I read the bible and realized all religion was a scam.

  • PQStewart Ogden, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 4:40 p.m.

    We need to hear their story. I remember driving in Northern New Mexico listening to Josh and Molly's interview on Mormon Stories. My two kids sat in the back seat listening to this incredible story, learning to be less absolute in their judgment of what makes us human.

    My favorite line from the interview was Josh saying, "I'm not a homosexual. I'm not a heterosexual. I'm a Mollysexual." It hit me then that I was no longer a heterosexual, attracted to just any woman. I too, as a married man, had sole loyalty and attraction to my wife. Thanks Josh for the insight.

  • USAlover Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 3:39 p.m.

    He stands by his recommendation against the lifestyle he led, but also has a message for those who have chosen this type of marriage: “I love you, I honor your choices. You are your own entity and my truth does not have to be your truth. ...I also honor the complexity of life and I recognize my own inability to know the particulars of each and every story.”
    ___________

    Every story is different. When this can work out like this, it's fabulous. But what about the other stories?

  • Astoria Jim Mamaroneck, NY
    Feb. 7, 2018 3:22 p.m.

    As a Catholic heterosexual, I commend the LDS Church for grappling honestly with this very difficult problem, which affects decent people through no fault of their own, yet does run contrary to core spiritual beliefs. Far better than many Catholic priests I have known who would condemn all gay people to eternal hell fire. A medical researcher once told me that gay teenaged boys have suicide and attempted suicide rates six times higher than heterosexual ones. This is reason alone for more inclusive attitudes towards gay people: Because it saves lives.

  • Thomas Paine South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 2:59 p.m.

    I wish Josh and Lolly the best; hopefully, the can remain close friends. Life brings us all different challenges, and may it work out for the best in the end.

  • SorryNotSorry Draper, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 2:48 p.m.

    I know the Weeds. Since before Josh came out. I love Josh.

    I've seen a change in his tone over the last couple years. When this announcement came, I was not shocked, but it was sad.

    Lots of things in his blog post don't jive with me, but he is free to act. He may choose for himself, for it is given unto him.

    But like Ty Mansfield indicates, same sex temple marriage requires a complete doctrinal overhaul. It's not a policy or a practice. It's a complete doctrinal revision.

    Which is why I don't think it will ever happen.

    Ty pointed out something else, that he stopped identifying himself as a gay man.

    Josh, on the other hand, desired to solidify identify himself as a gay man. His thoughts, words, and deeds communicated that great desire. And we know that we will receive, "according to the desires of our hearts."

    And so Josh gets to go off and explore and have a new journey, living fully as a gay man. More power to him. For it is given unto him to so choose.

    I personally reject any notion that the doctrinal practices of the LDS Church, which affirm Temple Marriage as the ultimate aspiration, will ever change, or need to change to accommodate that lifestyle choice.

  • Orson Woods Cross, UT
    Feb. 7, 2018 2:35 p.m.

    If someone is a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, they have committed to be disciples of Jesus Christ, to follow him and keep his commandments. If either of the Weeds decisions cause them to depart from that course, to disregard or rebel against the teachings of the scriptures and prophets and apostles, they may eventually find themselves out of the Church. If they behave in their private lives in a way that seriously breaks the law of chastity, similar consequences will result. Whether it is fornication, adultery, or homosexual behavior, it is serious sin. One cannot be in good standing in the Church while involved with such.
    Remember, neither this couple, nor anyone quoted in the article, speak for the Lord or His Church, regardless of what spiritual impressions or promptings they may think they have had (except for Pres. Ballard). Only the President, or the Apostles speaking for the First Presidency, can interpret the scriptures and doctrines of the Church for the Church. The Proclamation on the Family is such an official interpretation and declaration.
    LGBT activists do not speak for the Church and most don't accurately reflect its teachings.