As my name suggests, I'm English, and have been drawn to this site through
involvement with Sheri McGregor and the wonderful work she does with parents of
estranged adult children. I am one of them and would assure anyone I would like
nothing more than to 'heal the rift' , if only it were that easy. As
others have said, these adult children have their own agenda, a different,
unrecognisable version of events and absolutely no conscience or compassion. I
have been through hell. If only this subject could come out of darkness and into
light, it wouldn't change anything for us but at least we may be better
able to support each other through this unexpected and undeserved maltreatment.
I enjoyed reading this article but also with the exception of "mending the
rift" with estranged children. I I'm sure there is a great percentage
of hurting Mothers in the world who would love to "mend the rift" with
their estranged children and have a wonderful Mother's Day with them. Unfortunately a growing number of adult children continue to decide they
want no contact with their parent(s) and they have no intention of mending
things. Most of the time the reason is unknown. If we looked a little further
we would recognize there are thousands of good parents who put forth their best
efforts for decades to raise great children only to be rejected by them in the
long run. The pain is unsurmountable and most of the time parents are left with
their confusion, hurt and a myriad of emotions to deal with. I
applaud Sheri McGreger for addressing this issue that practically no one else is
willing to look at head on. Her book, Done with Crying is a gift for the over
12,000 people that have gone to her website looking for help.
I would like to respectfully point out to the poster who suggests that we focus
on our OWN mothers--some of our mothers are deceased. A visit to the cemetery
may or may not be something we want to do on Mother's Day.I
thought this was an excellent article, with the exception of Dr. Noonan's
comment about "mending the rift" with estranged children. As a
well-trained professional, Dr. Noonan should be aware that repairing a broken
relationship may be impossible. There are adult children who have cut off
contact with their mothers for reasons that are unknown to the parents. When
the parents reach out, they are either ignored or subjected to verbal abuse. In
circumstances like this, mothers are forced to back off, rather than continue to
be rejected and humiliated.
I have many friends who hate mother's day, because of loss or deprivation.
They even include fathers whose wives have abandoned their families. It can be
a tough day. However, we can change our focus and although for some, it can be
bittersweet, the day isn't about us. We all have mothers and although many
of them are not perfect, we owe them life. When we focus on the blessing of
just that and for most of us, the many other things OUR MOTHERS have done for
us, instead of on ourselves, it really helps it to be a good day.
How about having realistic expectations for the day, and whoever you have in
your life that means something to you. Go out and have a fun day and just be
greatfull for what is good in your life.