Special report: 1 in 4 Americans don't think one-night stands count as cheating

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  • Middle of the road Mormon South Jordan, UT
    April 16, 2017 12:10 p.m.

    @worf - McAllen, TX

    "You need to go further back before Trump with your political assumptions, and leave don't out Hollywood."

    You are so right. You need to go way back. People just did not evolve into animals that practice monogamy.

    Monogamy is a rule constructed by man because we attempt to rule over nature and rarely ever question if there is a better way because we allow our particular culture to cloud judgement and reason. We throw out science in favor of ancient texts and spiritual leaders because it is easier than thinking for ourselves.

  • Sophie 62 spring city, UT
    April 15, 2017 4:23 p.m.

    Doesn't matter whether you're online or in person - if you don't want your spouse to know, then you're betraying a trust. You are cheating.
    If you're directing your romantic attention to someone other than your spouse, whether flirting or daydreaming, sending emails or texts, or calling, you are cheating. You are jeopardizing your most important relationships, you are putting your children's well-being in jeopardy, and that of yourself and your spouse.
    If your marriage is so rocky that you are unhappy most of the time, do whatever it takes to fix it. That does not including developing extracurricular relations with people outside of your marriage. It may include counseling and a lot of work.
    Fix it, or end it.
    Until your divorce is final, you are still married.

    Bill Clinton was wrong to do what he did, on every level. Donald Trump is also wrong. Saying, well, Bill Clinton blah blah blah does not excuse Donald Trump. Most of the Democrats I know were appalled by Clinton's betrayal, yet surprisingly most of the Republicans I know are not appalled by Trump's behavior.
    Looks like it's less about the deed and more about who's doing it.

  • Chummley MISSION VIEJO, CA
    April 15, 2017 10:29 a.m.

    An awful lot of people willing to cast the first stone. They seem to forget they are also the women at the well at many times in their lives.

    It is not about the mistakes people make - because we all make them - it is how we deal with those mistakes and learn to love and forgive.

  • RodsA SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    April 15, 2017 8:32 a.m.

    Regardless of what you call it, once you've violated your partners' trust, the relationship is never the same.

  • nicholdraper West Jordan, UT
    April 15, 2017 5:55 a.m.

    Clearly the term marriage doesn't mean the same thing to different people. But for some reason people like to pick and chose their commandments. Unfortunately; thou shalt not kill, lie, steal, commit adultery... are all religious commandments that are not observed by everyone. But what do polls mean? Since an undeniably large percentage of the population do not believe in the thou shalt not lie. Polls really mean nothing.

  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    April 15, 2017 12:15 a.m.

    A lot of people these days kid themselves about a lot of things. We are high on rights, low on personal responsibility, and high on rationalization. Those are the ugly sides of our modern society.

  • Liberal On Planet Zion SLC, UT
    April 14, 2017 12:30 p.m.

    @Redshirts-

    Re: "Also FYI, the greatest human tragedies in the world's history have all been accomplished in the name of Atheism".

    Deep yawn...Name 3 while providing cited, credible, source material and prior to beginning your retort with yet another question. Meanwhile those which understand factual information realize that more people have died from war, in the name of RELIGION rather atheism as you claim. Put down the Breitbart, Drudge and National Enquirer. Turn off Info Wars, Limbaugh and Faux. Begin the search for legitimate sources of news prior to another post filled with empty rhetoric. Thank you!

  • Tyler D Prescott, AZ
    April 14, 2017 12:04 p.m.

    @RedShirtHarvard – “Actually religion relieves the problem of tribalism. It establishes a single set of morals among the population.”

    Which religion are we talking about?

    Since religions across the globe make many incompatible claims, these competing religions are tribalism on steroids (i.e., all the different “religious tribes” believe they’re doing God’s work and will happily kill or be martyred to ensure their “single set of morals” wins the day).

    And where is this non-relative morality you think religion provides? When I read the Bible I read about commandments that Yahweh repeatedly commands his followers to break - e.g., killing Amalekites, stealing young women from neighboring tribes (possibly breaking two commandments), Hebrews enslaving their neighbors… the list is long.

    FYI – I can’t think of one human tragedy that was committed “in the name of atheism” since atheism simply means not believing in gods. And Stalin and Pol Pot were not driven by rationality, skepticism and a lack of belief, but rather by an abundance of dogmatic belief in horrible ideas.

    Dogmatism, not atheism, is the problem.

  • RedShirtHarvard Cambridge, MA
    April 14, 2017 11:11 a.m.

    To "Tyler D" but religion has been around as long as man has been on the Earth.

    As for Elephants and mole rats, you are projecting morals onto survival instincts. Those animals are not making "moral" decisions. They are acting on instinct alone. Do you choose to breath, or is it instinct?

    Actually religion relieves the problem of tribalism. It establishes a single set of morals among the population. Without religion, morals all become relative and lead to increased tribalism. Just look at the world today, as we fall away from religion. Morals are declining and there is MORE tribalism being established.

    Also FYI, the greatest human tragedies in the world's history have all been accomplished in the name of Atheism.

  • Instereo Eureka, UT
    April 14, 2017 10:55 a.m.

    There is a huge difference between Bill Clinton and Trump and also in what it shows about our country. With Clinton, it was clearly stated by most US citizens and particularly the GOP that it was wrong. He was almost impeached because of it and his wife had his "sin" hung around her neck when she ran for president because she didn't leave him. Trump, on the other hand, seemed to have his sin overlooked but even forgiven by the very same people who condemned Clinton. Did they change their views about sex, I doubt it, it was just politics. To me, that shows even more about our country which is sad that lines are so easily blurred when it comes to politics.

  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    April 14, 2017 9:33 a.m.

    Bottom line -- any physical act of infidelity is cheating.

  • Tyler D Prescott, AZ
    April 14, 2017 9:34 a.m.

    @RedShirtHarvard – “A prime example is gang culture.”

    You’re not fully grasping what I said – if sympathy and cooperation were not present in human beings long before religion arrived on the scene, we would never have made it out of the Stone Age.

    Of course there are anomalous sub-cultures as well as a percentage of the population who are sociopaths or psychopaths, but that’s not the people we look to in order to understand morals (just like we don’t consult fringe crackpots to understand medical science).

    That said, the fact that our morals evolved in tribes is troubling and remains to be seen whether or not tribalism can be transcended (a problem religion only exacerbates).


    But to claim that this moral foundation somehow comes from religion is like believing that a pickpocket (who steals your wallet and then “gives” you $100) is a prophet.

    PS – if you can provide evidence that elephants or mole rats (both of whom show the moral precursors that evolved in us) are receiving their instructions from Yahweh, please share.

  • RedShirtHarvard Cambridge, MA
    April 14, 2017 8:50 a.m.

    To "Tyler D" you are wrong. Morals are not " built from the basic foundations of sympathy and cooperation." Morals are either built on a religious foundation or else they are built on the passing whims of society.

    A prime example is gang culture. Morally, they think that it is ok to kill people that are in opposition to them. Their morals are based on their society and culture, and as such lack sympathy for others.

    There are many other examples that show how you are wrong, if you look and remove your liberal blinders.

  • Tyler D Prescott, AZ
    April 14, 2017 8:36 a.m.

    @Liberal Ted – “I ask them if their personal moral compass allows them to be rude toward people who think differently.”

    I’ve asked a similar question with respect to European Christians who spent over 500 years torturing and burning their neighbors at the stake for such “horrible crimes” as heresy, blasphemy and being a non-Christian.

    Haven’t really heard a good answer yet…

    @patriot – “If you reject God then what do morals matter? Any morals.”

    Morals are built from the basic foundations of sympathy and cooperation; sentiments we can observe in some animals as well. In other words they were in the DNA long before the first shaman mused about gods and the supernatural.

    Your question seems to imply that without belief in God people would spend their days murdering, stealing and raping.

    Not only would we not even be here now if our ancestors behaved this way en masse, but we can simply look to all the non-Abrahamic societies around the world today as falsifying your claim.

  • pragmatistferlife salt lake city, utah
    April 14, 2017 8:09 a.m.

    "That's the miracle of getting rid of religion and adopting your very own personal moral compass. "

    Ok let's get rid of this myth right now. The vast majority of people who aren't religious don't reject religion so they can create their own morals (drink coffee, alcohol, have affairs etc.). They reject religion because they don't believe it is the truth.

    Once religion and God are not relevant then morals do take on a more personal nature. What is important to you..family, wife, reputation, society?

    What the "believers" seem to have a hard time getting their heads around is family is just as important to an atheist as it is to a believer and therefore in need of care and nurturing.

    Clearly religion is not a guarantee of fidelity, commitment is, and non believers can be just as committed as believers.

  • Liberal Ted Salt Lake City, UT
    April 14, 2017 6:04 a.m.

    That's the miracle of getting rid of religion and adopting your very own personal moral compass. I have had this conversation multiple of times with people who despise religions. They claim they don't need religion, because they have their own moral compass. They then lob insults towards religions and mock religious practices. I ask them if their personal moral compass allows them to be rude toward people who think differently. It makes them think and then they claim their moral compass is superior while insulting religious practices. So I ask about their moral compass which should hold steady, but, I would argue they can change it whenever its convenient. For example if a guy meets a woman willing to go the extra mile for a night. He changes his moral compass and then answers a survey that it is no longer bad to cheat on your wife and kids. Next woman comes along with a similar result. If a compass cannot give you the same bearings every time. Is it really a compass?

  • worf McAllen, TX
    April 13, 2017 10:01 p.m.

    There's a domino effect.

    If you cheat on your spouse, and children, you probably cheat, and lie on many other things as well.

    This is like a college final test. We face tough problems, and if students are weak, they fail.

    We should all have a goal of being a strong/honest person, and over come any temptation life presents. Being an "A" student is honorable.

  • christoph Brigham City, UT
    April 13, 2017 9:50 p.m.

    Highly educated East coast gave up on Bible values 50 years ago, and these are our leaders in companies and government. Few values and principles in the highly educated areas. It is common for elite rich and educated to pay someone big money to follow their spouse around and spy on them, in case of possible affairs. Everyone travels and are rarely home. And there is no trust. Imagine a world with no trust.

  • Seabeemama Denison, TX
    April 13, 2017 9:32 p.m.

    I'm surprised these are grey areas, I thought others were just inconsiderate of their spouse or didn't care. It was unspoken between my husband and myself , but we both agreed that talking to exes, high school crushes, or eating out with the opposite sex without our spouse was a no-no for our relationship to survive. It's hard enough with normal life , how much more so to jeopardize what we have with willing sabotage?

  • happymom123 Clearfield, UT
    April 13, 2017 7:37 p.m.

    Cheating is cheating any way you look at. I ought know it happened twice to me for each of my 2 marriages. We have told time and time again from our modern day prophets, when you are involved with someone other than your spouse, whether through media, outside relationship, texting, etc.. it is committing adultery. We have been forward many times over, that the world's attitude would come to this point. The attitude is, "Well we aren't doing anything wrong, we are just talking." Well guess what you may be talking, but you are talking to someone else other that your own spouse! Don't be so naive about this! I found out after the marriage had ended. Do you think I can trust anyone at the moment, not yet I do not. The world has gotten so laxed about it, it is so unbelievable! Let me give you an example of what I mean. My first marriage, his attitude was they were not committing adultery since we were legally separated. Seriously?! Look up the meaning of legal separation, it means you are still married. So guess what, he will be having a hard explaining this to Heavenly Father when one day he will have to face him. I still believe in marriage and how important it is, but not yet.

  • Breadth and Depth Salt Lake City, UT
    April 13, 2017 7:24 p.m.

    Allow me to pass on some of my online experience. First, I cannot comment on physical infidelity with nothing to reference. Second, I have a totally negative view of social media so I have no reference their either.

    I have contacted old flames who loom large in my memories. The most valuable personal lesson I learned is that I am very glad I dodged each one of those bullets. I can still be friends, but I could never reestablish a relationship.

    All that good people want to do is find out what happened to a person with whom they once shared memories. Anything beyond that gets creepy and is the fodder for movies, gossip rags, and trashy novels. Nostalgia and caring are productive pursuits, but obsessing and stalking never produce good results.

    My companion trusts me completely. I’m too old to get in trouble and I don’t have the time for extra-curricular activities. In the highly unlikely event that one of my old flames wants to have dinner, I would want my companion to be there so that she can see why I choose her. She already knows how I feel about dodging all the bullets of my past, but if she wants a personal critique, I would be more than happy to explain my joy and relief.

  • pragmatistferlife salt lake city, utah
    April 13, 2017 6:34 p.m.

    Patriot.."If you reject God then what do morals matter? "

    That is ridiculous. Morals matter most when there is no God. When you choose right and wrong without the threat of punishment then you have fulfilled the potential of humanity.

    A fully mature human does not need the threat of eternal punishment to honor commitments.

    Punishment is the standard of child rearing. If you believe you have lived a good and full life because you avoided all the proscriptions I feel sorry for you.

  • JSB Sugar City, ID
    April 13, 2017 5:45 p.m.

    If you cheat on your spouse, you are also cheating on your children.

  • patriot Cedar Hills, UT
    April 13, 2017 5:19 p.m.

    Is this article asking a secular heathen society about adultery? As I recall "thou shall not commit adultery" was a commandment from God to Moses..not a suggestion. If you reject God then what do morals matter? Any morals. The truth is however opinion means nothing and all of us will be judged by the same God with the same moral law.

  • Mike Richards South Jordan, Utah
    April 13, 2017 4:38 p.m.

    What is the real message when someone strays? Isn't it, "You're not good enough for me. I deserve better?"

    That, to me, is why no person should ever stray. Instead of thinking, "You're not good enough for me", shouldn't we be saying, "Bless you for putting up with someone like me?"

  • pragmatistferlife salt lake city, utah
    April 13, 2017 4:32 p.m.

    "To "FT " you are wrong. The event that signified "the abrupt change in American values " was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski. Your ilk told the US that it doesn't matter what the POTUS does in his personal life."

    What an uninformed statement. First of all what would make you possible think there has been an "abrupt" change in values. Adultery goes back to the dawn of creation, and nothing Bill Clinton did was different or abruptly shocking.

    In addition, our ilk did not in any way say it was ok. Once again you presume to speak for others with only your own prejudices and biases.

  • Shelama SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    April 13, 2017 4:19 p.m.

    If a person is married or in a committed or serious relationship where trust and sexual exclusivity is professed, acknowledged or implied, it's hard to think a one-nighter isn't cheating.

    It would be even worse if cautious safe-sex wasn't a priority.

    It seems less a matter of religion than honesty, trust, common sense and respect. And sex without shared love... what's the point?

  • Liberal On Planet Zion SLC, UT
    April 13, 2017 4:14 p.m.

    @Red

    Re: "that wasn't a deflection, but a clear moment in history when your "ilk" told us that cheating and adultery don't matter. If it doesn't matter for the POTUS to cheat on his wife while in office, why should it matter for the average person?

    Not deflection? "Ilk", "Blah-blah", "Ilk", "Benghazi", "Lock her up", "Ilk". Your daily anti-liberal rants are nothing but repetitive empty rhetoric filled with deflection! As President, I believe one should be held to higher standards. Apparently you prefer candidates that openly grope women and joke about it. Certain your wife and daughters (if any) are extremely proud.

    Re: "You don't want to acknowledge the fact that your "ilk" told the US public that extramarital affairs are ok..."

    Again with the "ilk"? Definitely preferred over a basket of deplorables. Specifics please. When did the Democratic Party state affairs are "ok"? Credible, cited, source material please. Definitely won't be holding my breath!

    Re: "So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done?"

    Please! Trump wishes he possessed the intellect, respect and integrity of Bill Clinton.

  • Tyler D Prescott, AZ
    April 13, 2017 3:45 p.m.

    @worf – “You need to go further back before Trump with your political assumptions, and leave don't out Hollywood.”

    Except the party that elected Trump was the same party that has been vilifying Hollywood for decades and holding themselves up as the champions of morality.

    The irony is rich…

  • Mayfair City, Ut
    April 13, 2017 3:06 p.m.

    WHAT??
    Don't think a one night stand is cheating??

    Well, this kind of insanity explains a lot of what is wrong with the world.

    Unbelievable.

  • RedShirtHarvard Cambridge, MA
    April 13, 2017 2:39 p.m.

    To "Liberal On Planet Zion" that wasn't a deflection, but a clear moment in history when your ilk told us that cheating and adultery don't matter. If it doesn't matter for the POTUS to cheat on his wife while in office, why should it matter for the average person?

    You are the one deflecting. You don't want to acknowledge the fact that your ilk told the US public that extramarital affairs are ok, and that it doesn't matter.

    Do you want to deflect again, or can you actually answer the question. "So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done?"

  • red.diehard Central, UT
    April 13, 2017 2:39 p.m.

    I fear for our future.

  • Anonymous100 Anywhere, UT
    April 13, 2017 2:09 p.m.

    I found the article very interesting and am astounded at American values, especially among people who are supposed to believe in and live "Thou shalt not commit adultery." There is a bit more to that commandment in that not only are we not to commit adultery, but also anything like unto it. A wise man once said there should be "total fidelity after marriage" and "no sharing of the heart." I do not believe that texting, social media, etc., is necessarily adultery, but it is definitely wrong in a committed relationship. The fact that so many respondents feel otherwise is shocking and very troubling.

  • Lib on Planet Zion Salt Lake City, UT
    April 13, 2017 1:55 p.m.

    @RedShirt -

    Re: "The event that signified "the abrupt change in American values " was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski. Your ilk told the US that it doesn't matter what the POTUS does in his personal life.

    Deflection anyone? {Apologize for not catching beforehand) Quite the selective memory. Secondly. Can we ban the word "ilk" for some time or at least find another synonym?

    Re: "So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done"?

    Continued deflection attempting to correlate the utter disaster which is Trump to a president which left office with a 66% approval rating! Couldn't imagine the rhetoric from the low information faction if Trump's approval ratings were ever in the range of 66%. In the meantime. Keep digging Red!

  • RedShirtHarvard Cambridge, MA
    April 13, 2017 1:54 p.m.

    To "Liberal On Planet Zion" that wasn't a deflection, but a clear moment in history when your ilk told us that cheating and adultery don't matter. If it doesn't matter for the POTUS to cheat on his wife while in office, why should it matter for the average person?

    You are the one deflecting. You don't want to acknowledge the fact that your ilk told the US public that extramarital affairs are ok, and that it doesn't matter.

    Do you want to deflect again, or can you actually answer the question. "So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done?"

  • BYUalum South Jordan, UT
    April 13, 2017 1:52 p.m.

    God's laws NEVER change. Somehow, men and women try to justify the "natural man's" actions in today's world. The pain and path of transgression is true repentance and forgiveness. Unfortunately, when trust is broken in a marriage, it is not easily regained, if at all.

    Remedy--In a sacred marriage covenant, remain true and faithful.

  • toosmartforyou Kaysville, UT
    April 13, 2017 1:48 p.m.

    You historians need to look back at least as far as John Kennedy when talking about the White House occupants. Adultery isn't a modern thing; it was prevalent in ancient Israel when the Ten Commandments were written. Technology just enhances it and flirting often leads to intimacy.

    The old adage is true: "Play with fire, expect to get burned."

  • SpiritMatter El Dorado Hills, CA
    April 13, 2017 1:37 p.m.

    Definition-Cheating is breaking a rule agreed to by 2 or more individuals. If a behavior is not defined and consented to by all individuals in an agreement/contract/covenant it is not cheating. Too often individuals enter an agreement, each with his/her own unspoken assumed list of rules. Like the Sabbath in Christ's day, the marriage relationship has been burdened with oppressive rules of men that have made the rules of God of no effect and pretty much guaranteed the failure of many marriages and a lifetime of unfullfillment for others. The seventh commandment is like the first. In both spirit and material relationships, God the Father and our spouse should have no one else before them. It does not mean you can not have other relationships but they must be secondary or less.

  • Liberal On Planet Zion SLC, UT
    April 13, 2017 1:33 p.m.

    @RedShirt -

    Re: "The event that signified "the abrupt change in American values " was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski. Your ilk told the US that it doesn't matter what the POTUS does in his personal life".

    Defection anyone? Quite the selective memory. Secondly. Can we ban the word "ilk" for some time or at least find another synonym?

    Re: "So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done"?

    Continued deflection attempting to correlate the utter disaster which is Trump to a president which left office with a 66% approval rating! Couldn't imagine the rhetoric from the low information faction if Trump's approval ratings were ever in the range of 66%. In the meantime. Keep digging Red!

  • RedShirt USS Enterprise, UT
    April 13, 2017 12:27 p.m.

    To "FT " you are wrong. The event that signified "the abrupt change in American values " was Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinski. Your ilk told the US that it doesn't matter what the POTUS does in his personal life.

    So, if it didn't matter that Bill was cheating on his wife, in the Oval Office, why does it matter what Trump has done?

  • ScienceMatters Salt Lake City, UT
    April 13, 2017 12:25 p.m.

    "It includes responses from 1,000 U.S. adults and an oversample of 250 Mormons"

    Having 25% of the overall sample come from a religious group that comprises 1.6% of the US population makes for some shaky statistics.
    It would be interesting to see what the stats would look like if you took away 234 of the respondents from the oversample.

  • worf McAllen, TX
    April 13, 2017 12:02 p.m.

    @FT,

    You need to go further back before Trump with your political assumptions, and leave don't out Hollywood.

  • American First Merced, CA
    April 13, 2017 10:54 a.m.

    Adultery takes two, period.

  • FT salt lake city, UT
    April 13, 2017 10:48 a.m.

    Nothing signifies the abrupt change in American values more than the election of Donald Trump. Divorce, adultery, flirting, sexual leers and unwanted advances are no longer the social taboo's they once were. Whether it remains to be seen if President Trump will Make America Great Again, we already know he has illustrated America is not the country it used to be.

  • JimmyJoeJoe Portland, OR
    April 13, 2017 10:12 a.m.

    I'm amazed that 24% of survey responders do NOT believe having regular sexual relations with someone other than your partner is cheating, 27% for a one night stand, and 29% for kissing someone else. How can anybody justify that line of thinking?

  • Johnny Triumph Ibapah, UT
    April 13, 2017 10:09 a.m.

    There's nothing muddled in this, cheating is cheating. And unless you're 100% faithful in all ways then you're cheating. Digital does nothing to muddy these waters.

  • Sad Sack Hurricane, UT
    April 13, 2017 9:51 a.m.

    This is a good article, and will hopefully make people stop and think about how they are using the internet. Thanks.

    I believe that this whole question is completely avoidable, if you put your spouse's feelings first. If both partners do this, and if they keep communication between each other open and honest, then there just shouldn't be a problem with what defines cheating.
    Sounds simple, I know, and there will be many folks who say, "but you just don't understand our marriage, and our problems." I agree fully.
    To these folks I say, go back and read my second paragraph! Sure there are going to be disagreements and problems in every marriage. But if you both are more willing to put your spouse first, rather than to put your own self-centered ideas first, then there will always be give and take in your marriage.
    If either one of the spouses is unwilling to do this, your marriage is in deep trouble already.

  • Utah Girl Chronicles Eagle Mountain, UT
    April 13, 2017 8:40 a.m.

    The internet allows people to create an alternative life apart from the hardships and challenges reality sometimes presents. When marriages and relationships are involved, it's easy to cross that "line". That can be very alluring and exciting but that's where our consciences need to kick in. When they don't, people get hurt.

  • Hubble65 Sandy, UT
    April 13, 2017 8:19 a.m.

    I think most people cheat at some point if you define cheating as thinking of being with someone else. It starts with a lack of communication and a lack of fulfillment of some kind, most often emotional and physically. I would also say there is far more emotional adultery going on today. Technology aids that. It is the emotional that leads to the physical. Thus when one crosses that emotional barrier with a non-spouse, that is the "danger zone." That is where physical adultery will always start. Trust for me is lost when a spouse commits emotional adultery. I think it will become more and more as people are more into what I want, and I can do what I want, as long as I don't get caught attitude. Hope I am wrong but the bottom line is if you want a healthy marriage, don't cross the emotional boundary and commit emotional adultery. If you do physical adultery isn't far behind. Just takes once and then all barriers are crossed. That is indeed hard to rebuild. I've seen several times.

  • goosehuntr Tooele, UT
    April 13, 2017 8:15 a.m.

    If you are regularly allowing your thoughts away from your spouse in any way, you are to a lesser or greater degree infidel. Constant vigilance with thoughts is the front of the battle. Win there, and you win everywhere. Gorge yourself on things of light, and the secret spots in ones soul are eventually illuminated and seen as they are, and can be dealt with in the light.

    Anything that is done was first conceived in the mind, and injected with emotion in the heart as it was allowed to enter there. Once thoughts make it to the heart, it is very difficult to restrain. Our task is to illuminate the soul with the Light of The World.

  • From Ted's Head Orem, UT
    April 13, 2017 8:17 a.m.

    It seemed to me that this article used the terms "cheating" and "adultery" interchangeably, although I don't see it that way at all. I think that following an ex on social media, romantically, kissing or going on a date with someone other than one's partner are examples of cheating. Where as regular sexual relations or a one night stand with someone other than one's partner are examples of adultery, which I consider to the the worst type of cheating.

    Flip the coin and realize that if one's partner is likely going to consider romantically kissing another person as adultery, then why not round the bases? It's still going to be adultery in their eyes. I would think that for most people there is a sliding scale of cheating. I wouldn't be happy if my spouse were kissing someone else, but I'd be a whole lot unhappier to find out she'd had an affair with them.

    The same argument holds true for pornography if one doesn't acknowledge there is a difference between the softest type (what we might see in ads or on tv) to hardcore XXX movies. I believe that there is so much emotion involved in our romantic/sexual relationships that at times people can't think very clearly.

  • zgomer Prestron, ID
    April 13, 2017 6:52 a.m.

    Interesting article, makes one think about it more, I am going to show his to my kids and maybe try to influence them and counsel them that some of their ways of thinking my change for the better. Very well done.

  • renny12 FR, 00
    April 13, 2017 12:24 a.m.

    I think that is really good article, thanks!

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    April 12, 2017 11:31 p.m.

    I look at it as, Thou Shalt Not Brake The Trust. And I look at it as, I make mistakes and there is misunderstanding and lost in translation. I would want the second chance. I know once trust is broken things won't be the same. Trust and respect are earned, and that's a hard row to hoe to gain trust again.