Brooke Romney: Answering your questions about being a friend vs. being friendly

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  • windsor City, Ut
    April 3, 2017 7:20 p.m.

    Thanks DavidMiller.

    And nope, I'm not content to live a life of solitude.

    I just think that I should be free to live my life without too frequent assignments for (and attempts from) those who hate solitude to extract inordinate supplies of attention and interaction from me and whoever else they set their sights on.

    Instead of being too frequently asked to provide this supply to the overly needy, I think we should be allowed to serve in ways that fit us---as Sister Bonnie Oscarson YW General President said: " We need to realize that we all desire to serve in the kingdom, using our unique talents and gifts in our own ways."

    I very much love interaction-- just at my own discretion, not at the insistence of --and hijacking by-- others.

    But I thank you for your input and opinion.

  • DavidMiller Bountiful, UT
    April 3, 2017 3:02 p.m.

    @windsor if you are truly content to live a life of solitude - focused on your own life and your own family - then that is a choice you are free to make. You can politely rebuff or ignore the efforts of others who may reach out to you seeking to build a friendship. They ought to be sensitive to your responses and soon leave you to your contented solitude. On the other hand, if you are willing to keep to yourself simply because you are too shy to do otherwise maybe you should think about ways that you could reach out without getting too far outside your comfort zone.

    You don't need to meet the needs of people desperate for attention around you but whether you have discovered it yet or not, there will surely be times when you need caring people around you or when you could be a great benefit to a friend in need.

    As a lifelong introvert I can say from experience that even among introverts there are few people who truly want to be left to themselves. You may not need to make large changes in your life but it never hurts to evaluate whether there is more that you have to offer those around you.

  • windsor City, Ut
    April 3, 2017 12:51 p.m.

    What about the other side of this?

    We are so often encouraged to befriend someone, to reach out to others, to give give give.
    A couple of the General Women's leaders (in a series of short videos on the LDS Church's website) in so many words said it isn't about us and what we want, it is about doing our duty and giving whatever attention they may want to others.

    Those videos--and this article-made me wonder what about those of us who are introverts, who are shy, who are terribly uncomfortable being all up in others business or having them up in ours??

    I have had so many LDS leaders, men and women, mostly local leaders press press press to have the wants/desires of the 'needy-for-attention' members always catered to and fulfilled--while completely dismissing as irrelevant or ridiculous (or fake) the needs or wants of us on the other side--or the emotional difficulty it presents to us to have to be always supplying much (or even excessive) attention , validation and Interaction to those who want it all the time.

    Does anyone ever consider or realize that they care only for THEIR OWN view of life??

    And ignore the views of those who they EXPECT to meet and supply their needs??