Erin Stewart: Does Utah have a 'lifestyle porn' problem?

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  • NeifyT Salt Lake City, UT
    Jan. 11, 2017 10:18 p.m.

    @mona,

    I recognize there were those like that even before the Internet. I didn't know any of them personally. The parents of my best friends (the only friends I even had my elementary school years who were brothers) did have one room that was considered their Sunday only room; which was always kept in pristine condition, and we weren't allowed to play in there; but that is the closest I ever saw to that lifestyle.

    That said, I got a hint of it from a song that played on a radio station back then. I think the title was Super Mom... a mother trying to be everything to everyone including baking "4 dozen cookies for the room mothers tea." (I remember that line because 4 dozen cookies is really easy, I used to make 6 to 10 dozen any given afternoon ... at the time an aspiring chef/baker.) and being in such a hurry she had to pickup "a bucket from KFC."

    But, in the end of the song she realizes that really she shouldn't try to be a "super mom" but rather be herself and take care of her needs so that she can be healthy and available to care for her children.

  • Sore loser tampa, fl
    Jan. 11, 2017 5:57 a.m.

    This sounds like a typical "musical and the spoken word" video clip, people with perfect teeth walking around in perfect joy, usually in slow motion.

  • Mona Beaverton, OR
    Jan. 10, 2017 10:26 p.m.

    The internet wasn't invented yet when I was in the thick of raising children, but it didn't matter. My neighbor was the perfect mom with a perfect family and perfect house. If there had been internet and blogs, she would have been putting up the posts you're talking about!

    I made the mistake of comparing my low-energy atypical family to this woman's. It discouraged me to know I could never measure up. She even made her kids play with their toys on a spread out bedsheet so that if the doorbell rang, she could gather up the four corners and throw the whole thing in the office and shut the door. Voila! Perfect house. And unhappy children.

    The day I realized that I was not obligated to be like her was liberating. It was up to me to have my own style and not worry about her glitz and perfection. There is no right way of parenting or motherhood. One of my neighbors with 4 children has a house with legos and science projects and books scattered around, and dust bunnies in the corner. She also has happy, smart, well-adjusted children and spends her time volunteering in school and community. That's my idea of a good life.

  • Hope & Faith give us strength Utah County, UT
    Jan. 10, 2017 9:26 p.m.

    Erin, I rarely see life the same way you do. But I loved this article!

    I see that your articles always seem to mean well and probably have advice some people need to hear... just not me I guess. So it's nothing bad at all. We all have our own authors, movies, and recipes we like. That's life. But this time, you've made a recipe I like. ;)

  • NeifyT Salt Lake City, UT
    Jan. 10, 2017 4:21 p.m.

    One thing I know, is my mom sure didn't have this "problem." Of course as a great-grandmother now; she was raising my siblings and I in an age long before mommy blogging.

    But, I share that only because of the tidbit my mother told me as a young adult so many years ago. Something very close to "You can't expect to keep your house clean, you can only expect to keep cleaning your house" and as an afterthought "especially if you have children."

    When mommy blogs started first appearing on the scene (or should I say blogosphere [does anyone use that term anymore?]); I liked to read them, not because they were anything like what this Erin Stewart points out; but rather because they were the opposite. They were the down and dirty reality of parenting from diapers to throw-up, from cooking to cleaning, etc. If anything they were a stress relief to the bloggers and their readers. [And, I had hoped to be a parent some day.]

    Not sure when or where those blogs changed from reality to fantasy, but I suppose that is why I don't read the kinds of blogs this author is talking about.