Teens tune out dads who yell, cooperate less both at home and with strangers

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  • pacnwmom Vancouver, WA
    June 6, 2016 12:58 p.m.

    I am a parent who used to yell, I came from a yelling household and I did not want that for my children (yes, I turned out ok too but I wanted to be a better parent than mine were, I hope my kids feel the same way!). I worked really hard for about 10 years of parenting, then one day I realized I didn't yell at all anymore (unless the house was on fire, haha).
    I would hope that parents would take this information and pray about improvements they can make in their parenting. That is the point of this type of research, to help us to raise good people. So far, so good in my case (one left at home).

  • USAlover Salt Lake City, UT
    June 6, 2016 12:29 p.m.

    I think the study is a "one size fits all" proposition, when raising kids is anything but "one size fits all". These spirits come in different varieties and need different approaches. Listen, yelling is probably a rare necessity. But occasionally, it serves a purpose for the narcissistic, self-absorbed child.

  • B ob Richmond, CA
    June 6, 2016 10:32 a.m.

    The useful thing to me in this article was the Deseret News graphic about parenting styles and possible results. Looking at what you want in a kid and what box it fits in and finding out, at least loosely, what parenting style may assist getting that result.

  • sisucas San Bernardino, CA
    June 6, 2016 10:05 a.m.

    It seems like many of the comments here didn't read the article or missed the point. This study is fatherhood gold! It basically lays out a couple key points to being a dad, which are evidence based. 1- Don't yell at your kids, but continue to have high expectations. 2. Prioritize a good relationship ship with your kids, including family work, playtime and any time spent together building a relationship. Then the times you do lose your cool won't affect them much. It's a two step recipe to raising emotionally healthy kids. I think this article is fantastic. It doesn't bash fathers, it empowers them.

  • Misty Mountain Kent, WA
    June 6, 2016 10:04 a.m.

    Sad to see so many DN readers deriding the article with labels as "PC", "man-bashing" or "anti-father". Or pick at the author's last name.

    I'm wondering how many of them--maybe all?--yell at their kids--because--heck, they were yelled at, and see how great they turned out?--so it wasn't damaging.

    And @private, a lot of dads who are "working [their] tail ends off trying to get the kids into college to give them a better life than they had" would do better to cut the work week down to 40 hours and spend part of the weekends with their kids, being the kind of dads they wished they'd had.

  • Pssst LOGAN, UT
    June 6, 2016 9:05 a.m.

    Is it counter-productive when columnists, psychologists etc yell at dads? It seems to be.

  • disowned117 South Jordan, UT
    June 6, 2016 8:47 a.m.

    I don't see this as an anti-father article. As a father myself, I try to read as much about improving myself as a father and husband. I find this article very informational.

  • Miss Piggie Provo, UT
    June 6, 2016 7:31 a.m.

    Not only should kids not get yelled at, no one should. Further, kids should learn to obey their parents. You know, obey those people who love then, feed them, and provide for them in their youth.

  • Kaotic USA, UT
    June 6, 2016 7:03 a.m.

    My Dad yelled at me when I deserved it and I did fine...nothing but hogwash.

  • Howard Beal Provo, UT
    June 5, 2016 8:31 p.m.

    I agree, fathers shouldn't probably yell a their children. Heck, I'm not for yelling period. But sometimes it happens, and even once in a while, it might make a point if it rarely happens. But if it happens all the time, yeah, I agree it's problematic. But also, we got to be careful for putting down fathers for everything they do or might do, it's a tough enough job without the criticism all the time.

  • Grandma 20 Allen, TX
    June 5, 2016 8:04 p.m.

    President David O. McKay once said that parents should never raise their voices at each other or their children unless the house is on fire.

  • Fullypresent Salt Lake City, UT
    June 5, 2016 8:03 p.m.

    Moms in general are the ones kids know they can count on to always be there and yelling for many moms is par for the course when they are frustrated or angry with kids. Dads represent authority figures, are more likely not to be around, less involved, or less involved so it may have a more adverse effect on them for those reasons. How many of us grew up in homes with stay at home moms that yelled and dads that were gone a lot working so when they were around them raising their voice was a bigger deal. Now days there are many kids growing up without dads or seldom see the ones they have.

    Yelling never solves any relationship problem especially with teens.

  • Kav Boise, ID
    June 5, 2016 7:38 p.m.

    I'm not sure what everyone is complaining about or how this is anti-dad. It's not like yelling at kids is a virtue in any case.

  • FelisConcolor Layton, UT
    June 5, 2016 7:26 p.m.

    Ho hum, another day, another article in the Deseret News telling men what lousy fathers they are.

    There are two sure rules when it comes to the results of "studies" like this: No matter what the study is about, the parenting styles of women will be portrayed as either benign or advantageous, while the parenting styles of men will be portrayed as counterproductive or even downright abusive.

    Even when, as we see in this study, the parents do the exact same thing.

    Another sure rule is that whenever the study is the product of a woman professor with a hyphenated last name, the chances the study will be critical of men approach 100%.

    I'm sure BYU and the Deseret News believe they are merely helping fathers raise their families better. In reality, most men are just going read it as yet more man-bashing and ignore the results.

  • Nan BW ELder, CO
    June 5, 2016 5:26 p.m.

    I didn't finish reading this article. I think being a dad must be walking a tight rope. My dad yelled at me, not often, but effectively when it happened. I don't remember that as much as I remember that he also taught me a lot of work skills.

  • shamrock Salt Lake City, UT
    June 5, 2016 3:10 p.m.

    @Sven:

    The article doesn't say parents should never discipline their kids. Nor does it say bad behavior should go scot-free. It simply says that yelling at your kids is counter-productive.

    Frankly, I think yelling at just about ANYONE is counterproductive. It seldom produces the desired results and simply shows that the yeller has lost his or her temper and can no longer carry on a civil conversation. Not exactly good role model behavior for our kids.

  • Gildas LOGAN, UT
    June 5, 2016 11:58 a.m.

    There might or might not be something to this study. At the moment, though, like the other respondents so far, my first reaction is to groan at another anti-father article.

    Look, fathers are getting a bad rap, and mothers are getting a bye. Dads have long been a target in Hollywood movies. How many dads in cinema have a good relationship to their sons? Something is wrong here and it's not always the dads. So Moms can yell at their kids and it's not negative, but it is if a father does? Parents generally tend to yell when the child ignores them at lower decibels. They can do almost nothing b'c of societal bullying as it is.

    I don't know what the complete answer is but it's not constantly attacking the male gender. PC is killing the family.

  • liberal larry salt lake City, utah
    June 5, 2016 10:55 a.m.

    If you have an abusive father you learn quite early that teachers and other adult authority figures are not armed with that same power to control you.

    Abusive fathers raise the bar for punishment, and make life very difficult for teachers and even the police to control said kids.

  • private Payson, UT
    June 5, 2016 9:14 a.m.

    Oh yay, another family re-engineering article... blame it all on the dads, not the divorce or the tv programming that teaches kids to dis their paternal figures, or the other influences that take over during the teen years while the dad is working his tail end off trying to get his kids into college to give them a better life than he had.

  • Sven Morgan, UT
    June 5, 2016 9:03 a.m.

    Wow, I'm beginning to notice a trend here at DN. We had a story yesterday indicating that schools should refrain from instituting suspensions for unacceptable, disruptive behavior from students, now today we have another story lecturing us that father's should not yell at their kids. Seriously DN, what's your agenda here?

    Perhaps we shouldn't have any rules; no consequences for poor behavior. Today's children will make great politicians in the future. They're learning very early that they can get away with anything.

    Today's kids must seriously laugh at the "adults" in our society.