There are many reasons behind this decline 1- Free Milk2-a legal
system stacked against men3-feminism is rendering women less and less
attractive 4-many people are choosing not to have children thus making the
idea of marriage meaningless5- the institution of marriage has lost all
meaning 6-many men have friends who went through divorces and many men
just don't want to go through that.Throw a dart and any of choices I
have given and you will hit a correct answer.
Marriage is ordained of God; He instituted it for the benefit of Man and Woman
to become one in his eyes. Children are the fruit of this great institution and
the backbone of all great nations and societies. Man's feeble attempts to
redefine God's work has led to chaos and disorder. It began in the sexual
revolution of the 60's and the children are the ones that have suffered
greatly as a result. The prisons are full and many can trace the origins back to
the absence of a Father in the home. Selfishness and Hedonism have taken their
toll. We will will all account for how we handled this defining moment of our
mortality on the day of reckoning.
Seldom Seen Smith says: "What's the definition of marriage, whatever
you want it to be. Thus rendering the term meaningless."I'm
sorry you feel your own marriage, or that of your parents, friends, or siblings
is meaningless. Does your wife/husband know you feel this way?The
idea that once we allow gay marriage, the word "marriage" is rendered
meaningless and the institution devalued, is self-evidently nonsense. This
slippery-slope alarmist fantasy that has fathers marrying sons and tables
marrying chairs is comical in its illogic.When I say "Yes,
I'm married," nobody looks confused as to what I mean. I've never
heard the following: "What is this word 'married' and what do you
mean by it? Are you saying you have formed a union with a man, a women, multiple
of either, an animal, a plant, or an inanimate object? I'm
confused."People, just let it go. The irrational fear that SSM
is going to affect straight folk is embarrassing.
Mom of Six,How do you balance the responsibilities of parenting with
those of teaching?
Rocket Science:It isn't rocket science and it has little to do
with all that stuff that conservatives get worked up about. The decisions to
marry or not to marry are based on the economy. The economy not just now but
what has happened for a generation or longer of decaying wages. Most people are
going to rush to marry when your first job is likely to be Wal-Mart and your new
residence is your parents basement.
Obvious the married people who raised the current generation didn't make
marriage look attractive. You go to a poor city and do a study and
find kids from single parents are worse off than those of married couples. If
marriage were the golden ticket to happiness everyone would do it. Doesn't
cost that much to marry. Weathy families with single parent headed homes would
be doing fine in the study were done there. There is a comfort in things not
changing but what people don't understand is there was no comfort from them
in doing the same thing as mom and dad. The kid from single parent headed
households of any income might do just fine if it were not for the elitism from
those who want things back to the way they were. It's never utopia for
everyone. This isn't the world of The Giver by Lowry where all children are
carefully raised in two parent family groups of a boy and a girl.
Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared
by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.
Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the
teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a quote from the LDS
Church's Family, A Proclamation to the World. It seems to back up what the
studies have shown. I included the happiness in family part because it explains
why children are so entitled, so they can be happy.
Marriage has become a bad deal for men... Men are at jeopardy of losing half of
everything they have worked for if they marry the wrong women.
Anybody consider the propaganda campaign against marriage that has been on-going
for the last 30 years? Take a look at the movies and TV programs that belittle
and ridicule marriage and commitment (unless, of course it is gay marriage).
Sex is no longer thought of as a sacred experience in a loving and enduring
relationship; it is viewed as a competitive past-time sport. And most young
people don't realize that is a damaging lie which objective is to harden
feelings and destroy the family culture that has been the foundation of America
for hundreds of years.
I find the article and the comments interesting. I have researched the topic
and haven't made much progress. All commenters seem to think marriage is
important but how each would support it seems different.@Cougar in
Texas,You list several reasons for declining marriage rates. I wonder if
they are the symptoms or the cause.@Mom of Six,A professional
and a mother. It can be done!@Illuminated, LDS Liberal and kolob
1,Women take risks that men don't when they have children. These
risks concern health, career and marital. Shouldn't men share this
risk?@danr,The decline in marriage indeed precedes same sex
marriage but it also precedes the advent of "Family Value" policies.
Just because the decline in the marriage preceded the same sex marriage laws
does not imply that these laws did not adversely impact heterosexual marriage
rates. I see nothing wrong with the study that Poqui references.
The numbers are large and the statistical methods are appropriate. What is the
difference between civil unions and marriage that you believe disqualifies
comparisons in rates of divorce?
The research referred to by Sturgeon and the statement by Wilcox are no
I'm LDS. I've had people say I'm not christian. That's easy
to do when they've designated themselves as the ones to define what
Christianity is. They purposely make that definition to exclude the LDS church.
I feel like the same is done with the definition of marriage. We say
it's only between a man and a woman because our scriptures say so. We at
least infer that our scriptures say so. But we disregard any culture or religion
that may hold same-sex living in high regard.I was born to biracial
parents. There were laws and religious beliefs that said people marrying from
different races was wrong. I'm glad my parents disobeyed those laws and
religious beliefs. I'm willing to wait to see what God says to me and my
parents when I die.
Gay marriage has nothing to do with the decline of marriage. Marriage was in
decline for decades prior to gay marriage. The decline of society has more to
do with conservatives' pro-business policies. The US has the worst family
leave policy in the developed world, less accessible healthcare, poorest child
care services, no daycare for employees' children, less free time for
families. The vast majority of families have to have both parents wok full time
just to get by. How are conservatives promoting family values by forcing
americans to live with worse-than-third-world policies.And 40% of
children born in the US are born to single mothers. Conservatives and churches
should be frantically trying to cure this social ill, instead of demonizing gay
folks who want to commit to marriage.What about dwindling funds for
education??? How does cutting funding for public schools and colleges help
families and the USA? It doesn't! Declining marriages
aren't the biggest problem for society. Conservative so-called "Family
Value" policies are.
@Poqui: Your example is cherry picked. You're comparing civil unions to
marriages, apples to oranges. Straight couples are much less likely to be in
civil unions because they had the option of marriage. That makes the 35% and
200% numbers you cite irrelevant and intentionally misleading. One or two
Scandinavian countries are the only countries where same sex couples'
divorce rates are slightly higher than heterosexual divorce rates. In all other
countries, the divorce rates are the same or lower than straight marriages. A
simple google search shows this.The decline of society has much more
to do with economics. A few decades ago, one parent could support a family on a
single income, while the other (usually the mother) could stay home and raise
the children. Today, both parents have to work at least one job, sometimes
more, just to make ends meet. Children are left to be raised in day care
facilities and overburdened schools.
As a teacher, I see the decline of marriage being the root of a lot of the
problems of society. I find it interesting that people use the argument that
marriage is all about adults and their wants and needs. The decline of marriage
and the fall out from broken ones is the root of many problems in education as
Too many marriages are on the decline because of selfishness and lack of
commitment and investment in each other. Yes men get a raw deal, but divorce
laws very state by state and Utah is one of the worst for the hard working,
dependable, loyal and loving father.if there is not type of abusive
involved then it is selfishness that occurs. In this state especially, more and
more women have or are filing because their husbands are not meeting their
I agree with illuminated St George, UT I believe the main reason is the widening
of the gap between rich and poor. Couples today are realizing that to get ahead
you either join the Army or wait util your job stabilizes. New laws regarding
overtime pay, length of work week and pensions makes it hard for working
couples to attain stability in the workplace. The decline of the Unions is an
example of the changing laws in the workplace. Management will do everything
possible to destroy the Unions and their legal base. When Unions lose so to does
Selfishness You will find it is root of all the problems.
"Hanging out" is the culprit. LOL!
TumbleweedMorals according to who? I am sure same homosexuals think
it is moral for them to get married. Your morals aren't "THE
MORALS" of the world.
@Lilly Munster - "The best study I’ve seen focused on Scandinavia,
where same-sex civil unions — essentially marriages in everything but name
— have been legal for about two decades. The authors had access to
population-level administrative data that generated a sample size of over 1,500
same-sex unions. After controlling for age, region, country of birth, education,
and duration of the partnership, male couples in Sweden were 35 percent more
likely to divorce than heterosexual couples, and lesbian partners were over 200
percent more likely to divorce. Whether the couples had children made little
difference in the relative rates." You can search this quote to get
the reference since I can't post links here.
@Lilly,You're comparing two very different sets of data here.
Most studies that compare ANNUAL homosexual and heterosexual divorce rates show
around a 1.6% rate for the former and 2% for the latter (I'm reading off
LGBT articles here...). You've taken the overall divorce rate of 54% of all
marriages ending in divorce and pitted it against the annual rate of same sex
couples. There is really very little daylight between the two
populations. Given that most same sex couples could legally marry only in the
last couple of years, it will be interesting to see how the rates go after
several decades and the two populations can be compared on a more normative
Let's see...Married Men work, and if the woman decides to
split, they loose their house, the kids and 50% of their pay.Meanwhile -- Women who work, keep their house, their kids and 100% of their
pay, + their child support and alimony.So now, Tell me --
other than "sin", why should a man get married?He stands little to
gain, and virtually everything to lose.The cards are sacked against
them.Make the laws more fair, 50/50 = equally yoked, and
I'll bet you'll see marriages would go up.Meanwhile -- This is obvious that Same Sex Marriage has NOTHING to do with it.
What's the definition of marriage, whatever you want it to be. Thus
rendering the term meaningless.
It will be ok. Relax. We live in a time of great freedom, you might not agree
with what people do with it but free agency was God given. We can
complain or we could do things that encourage marriage. We could be encouraging
our churches to have more marriage seminars for all phases of dating and
marriage. We could be supporting women who want a career and a family by passing
laws or encouraging policies that give both parents flexible time for child
rearing. We've been told over and over that marriage is about
kids so make it more feasible for people to have kids and we'll probably
see more marriage. When college costs are easily $100,000 for just a bachelors
degree, how many people are thinking of having a family? Or how many are giving
up the idea entirely because society is cutting funding for education?
@Lilly Munster: The stats don't make gay marriage morally right.
Lilly,The 50% divorce statistic has been shown to be a myth for some
time now. Divorce rates are on a 3 decade decline, and the stronger decline in
the marriage rate is a partial contributor. The statistics do not include
long-term cohabitating couples who break up, a scenario that several decades ago
would have started with marriage and ended in divorce.As for the
current same-sex divorce rate, you can refer to an article in the Washington
Post from December 2014 that goes through the math and concludes that "Given
the evidence available, the dissolution rate of same-sex marriages seems
comparable to, not lower than, the divorce rate of traditional marriages",
so your numbers are way, way off.And yes, same-sex marriage does
constitute a NEW definition of marriage. How many even considered the idea just
a few decades ago?Significant reasons why the marriage rate is
declining include the increasing cohabitation rate, waiting longer to marry, the
decreased desire to have children, and the overall elevating rate of narcissism
that seems to infect each succeeding generation more than the previous one.
Marriage is tough. It is hard work. Wives who stay home work long hours and are
demeaned for not being in the work force. I can see what it would be easy to
skip marriage. However, it is the best arrangement for children, and the hard
work pays off when children become productive responsible citizens (which most
of them will do if they have had a committed father and dedicated mother). Our
children provided us with huge challenges (some of which could have been avoided
if we had been doing a better job), but eventually all went to universities,
married good spouses, and are raising wonderful grandchildren. There are still
big challenges, but I'd not trade my descendants for all the cruises in the
travel brochures, or a mansion next to a ski resort, etc. The more we devalue
traditional marriage, the more we lose grip on a civilized nation.
Men are Going Their Own Way because marriage is a raw deal for them. The woman
can walk out at any time, take half his possessions, custody of his kids, then
get a nice payoff through alimony. On top of it, women get half a million
programs and support groups for them after a divorce while men get shamed. The depression and suicide rate among divorced men is much, much higher
than women because of all these factors. Why would a man risk tying the knot
when they may be marrying someone who later turns out to be a government
sanctioned thief?If we want marriages to increase, we need new laws
that level the playing field and make the marriage contract 100% equal. Nobody
should get special privilege just because of their gender.
Meanwhile, gay men and women, many who are parents already, as well as many who
are raising the abandoned, abused children of others, or plan to do so, are
doing very well. Same Sex Marriage divorce rates are reported to be about 1.6%,
while Traditional Divorce rates seem to now be at least 52%. Same Sex Marriage
is not a NEW definition of marriage; it is marriage with integrity and
commitment, hard earned.
With the sexual revolution of the 60's, declining birth rates since the
baby boom, marginalization of fathers in the media, the welfare state, no need
for a husband a la Murphy Brown, desire to get all the financial rewards before
family, and the distortion of what Marriage has and is causing less interest in
traditional couples being married.