I loved my grandmothers, but seriously, this is an ominous trend.
I am fortunate enough that my spouse and I have not been needed to raise
grandchildren. However, we have had several live with us, with their parents
there too. It was hard, but it the parents needed help through financial
difficulties. We had two toddler granddaughters whose dad was unable to find a
job (and he had a B.S. degree). They were with us about six months, and when
they left it was harder because we missed them so much. However, now, five years
later, they live in a nice home, their mortgage is about $17,000 (they know some
frugal measures!), Dad has a stressful job and their Mom works part-time while
taking care of their little sister at home. The best part is that they live
three hours away. I'd repeat having grandchildren in our home again, though
I don't have the energy I had then, and it would be taxing.
We were BLESSED to have been able to help raise our first two grandbabies, since
Mom was working and Dad was in Iraq. We made it work for the two who were 2 and
5. I would do it all again in a heartbeat. Not sure who the guy is spouting
adoption...But you are wrong. I would move heaven and heck to keep that from
happening with any of our grandchildren. I don't even want any of them to
ever experience even foster care. If grandparents can help out, then that is
where the kids belong. And yes, I speak from personal experience after being
farmed out as a child under the age of 5, to a grandmother, maternal
grandparents (who I adored), and two sets of aunts and uncles ( one of who
almost starved a brother and I to death). Grandparents win in my book...
I disagree with John Charity Spring. This has nothing to do with wanting luxury.
Most of them DON'T live in luxury, even if living with parents as an adult.
I think these parents are people who made some poor choices, who didn't
have their act together, who are down on their luck, who never really grew up.
Our society, unfortunately, has too many people who are physically grown enough
to have a child but aren't emotionally mature enough to take care of a
child or haven't completed the necessary training to be able to financially
support themselves and a child. I think that teenagers need more responsibility
and independence so that kids start to learn these things a little earlier.Worf's comment about adoption is misplaced. Would you say that if
it was a member of your family? What if you did something that was a
misunderstanding or an accident and your child was taken away? Would you want
the child immediately placed for adoption? Or staying with a loving, trusted
family member? We have to be extremely careful about laws and policies that are
meant to protect children from their parents.
Forget it!Grandparents paid their dues.Adoption is the
road to go.
Sure John, the only reason people have two incomes is for luxury items. If by
luxury items you mean food and a place to live you would be right.
Teenagers are God's way of punishing you for crimes against your parents.
Grandchildren are God's way of blessing you for not killing your
George is absolutely correct. This issue largely boils down to selfishness on
the part of young parents. They want the luxury items that come with a two
parent income, but they don't want to pay the price themselves. Thus, they
force their own parents to pay the price.
Paying for child care is about the same cost as paying for collage. I can see
why grand parents do want to help their kids. It's sad life for the kids
because no one will love the kids like the real parents.