I am a mother of 5 small children and I think modesty is a personal issue, but
also, important and outlined enough in the Strength for the Youth pamphlet, that
it really leaves no generous room for error. I wondered about leggings to work
out in--when in public. I studied up on it, because I didn't feel 100%
comfortable wearing workout leggings in public. At first, I didn't see a
problem with them, until I refreshed myself on the pamphlet and I also went to
the missionary website from the church for the sister missionaries--they are
instructed to wear loose fitting workout pants--not clingy. The Strength for
the Youth pamphlet also discourages tight fitting clothing, which leggings fall
under. I feel a lot better knowing that the Lord has already let us know what
is acceptable, when the trends are ever-changing. If you can see a perfect
outline of your body and every crevice--it's a no-go for me.
If any man/woman do his will, he shall know the doctrine, whether it be God or
whether I speak of myself
Modesty isn't an arbitrary scale, it's based on acceptable. Acceptable
is based on behavior. Behaviors include not only the wearer, but the viewer.As a man, I am more authorized to talk about women's clothing being
modest or not than any woman is. And vice versa. Women have given me plenty of
input on what I wear, so it's time I return the favor.Yes,
tight clothing makes you look appealing. But appealing and attractive are
different. A butcher sells me bacon that is appealing. Working with power-tools
is appealing. Get a sexual 'high' is appealing for disorderly and
mentally weak guys.Being attractive and beautiful are not about
wearing something to alter who you are. Sometimes a really wide smile is more
attractive than anything else. Being clean, careful to dress well, and positive,
uplifting, and caring in your personality... these things truly make a
remarkably more attractive woman (spiritually AND physically).Disregarding modesty or things as old-fashioned, in favor of following
trends... imo is very unattractive. Modest really is hottest.Just
When I was teaching college, a number of students showed up wearing pajama pants
and tee shirts or sweatshirts for morning classes. In summer, tattoos and all
sorts of skin peeked or burst out around skimpy tank tops and short shorts. My
coed non-LDS granddaughter wears dresses that leave little to the imagination.
My returned-missionary granddaughter wears clothes that leave nothing to the
imagination -- about her standards. Both are beautiful young women, but they
have different ideas about womanhood and what their Creator expects of them. The
way we dress tells others who we think we are. Who the young person thinks s/he
is and how s/he can best portray that should be the crux of the discussion. We
needn't vilify those who dress differently. I recently visited a
granddaughter's ward at LDS prom time. Most of the girls had bought
strapless gowns (hard to find anything else)and cute bolero-style sweaters. They
were modest, beautiful, and stylish, and it was their idea!
I personally think this is a ridiculous subject. I have 4 daughters and they
wear leggings. Two of the four are at BYU and they can't wear them on
campus. But going out to dinner or hanging out with friends - no problem. They
are beautiful young women who have strong testimonies and are comfortable with
who they are. I have seen women here in our ward wear them to church. I agree
they shouldn't be worn to Sunday Services, but other activities no problem.
A couple of my daughters also have 2 holes in their ears. Oh my!!!
Leggings and a long enough shirt are just fine.
Leggings, not covered up, are immodest.Do lots of people wear them? Yes.
Does that have anything at all to do with whether they are modest? No.Leggings are revealing of those parts of the body that The Lord has given
members of the Church an easy way to know that they shouldn't be revealed
by normal attire. Just to make it clear, yes, a swimsuit is immodest as normal
attire. (Goes for male and female). Swimsuits are for swimming.Anytime
one finds oneself referencing what "everyone" is doing, one should know
they are choosing on the wrong basis. Even if the choice is a correct one, the
basis is wrong.
As other posters have noted, modesty is all cultural. In some parts of the
world no part of a woman can be seen by a man for fear that he will be
titillated. In some parts of the world it is considered acceptable to see her
eyes only. In some parts of the world (India, e.g.), it is considered modest to
have part of your torso exposed (and these are very modest people). In some
parts of the world, no one thinks twice if a girl wears short shorts because it
is common place. No one but someone from a more covered culture thinks anything
about it. I'm not suggesting anyone dress provocatively, but I am
suggesting that what a Utah Mormon considers provocative is not what most young
men in the US would be titillated by. In other words, many of you posters are
probably more titillated by these young women wearing shorts than most of the
young men in the US are. And your ancestors would be shocked to see what your
good LDS wives are wearing (showing their ankles and all.)
There is a special place set aside in the afterlife for the inventor of these
pants! Don't believe me just take a stroll through you local Whole Foods.
If you really think leggings are appropriate visit any local Wal-Mart, get a
McChicken and a decaf coffee. Wait 15-20 minutes. Watch people. Lose
McChicken's 360 cheap calories. Leggings are nasty regardless
of race, religion, or nationality. The human body can be beautiful, but exposing
yourself without giving those around you the chance to consent is practically a
form of assault - regardless of what kind of shape you are in. Simply being in
shape doesn't give anyone the right to display her body to the world, and
in today's world most people don't even have that excuse.
The thing we have taught our children about modesty is 'Appropriate wear
for appropriate times'. The strength of youth defines says "Immodest
clothing is any clothing that is tight, sheer, or revealing in any other
matter". Our kids participate in sports that require tight clothing. When
they are done participating then it is time to wear something less revealing of
their bodies. Same for me when I am done boogie boarding. In the summer months
I have had to tell Young Men not wearing a shirt around church isn't
appropriate. The Lord gives our agency and it is up to us to decide how our
behavior will fit in the guidelines provided. In my opinion tights worn without
a long skirt or shirt covering up aren't modest. I also grown women
wearing running attire all day long that is form fitting, when not running. Our
body is a temple that houses our spirit and all of us would do well to remember
that relationship. The Lord gave us a supreme gift of having a body, a gift he
is extremely jealous of and will try many ways to get us to degrade or belittle.
Thank you Redshirt for the article reference. This pretty much sums up the
question of leggings: "Leggings as pants fail to achieve this objective as
much as dipping one's naked body in paint would also fall short of an
appropriate covering. Although your skin may be sheathed, we're seeing
quite a bit of you."One of the better parts, from one
perspective anyway, of X-Men movies is Rebecca Alie Romijn or Jennifer Lawrence
body painted as Mystic. Would they be as attractive, or more accurately
alluring, if they were completely naked? NO!And that would be my
message to those wearing leggings -- you'd be more modest wearing nothing
than accentuating your positive assets with leggings. They are nothing more
than colored, fancy panty hose -- and should be worn only as underwear.
A friend told me she wants a Queen of England costume in her closet when she has
dementia because she has always wanted to pretend to be royalty. I
reminded her that she was a daughter of a Heavenly King and Almighty God and was
already a princess. I think children need to be reminded of their noble
& royal heritage and that Heavenly Father loves them and wants them to
return with honor to lives in His presence. We are living in increasingly
perilous times and the adversary is unleashing every tool in his arsenal to
tempt us. Sometimes the temptations are very subtle ones and we don't
recognize them at first. Some Women and girls can be tempted to succumb to
fashion trends that don't help them live up to who they truly are. I think
we sometimes get caught up living in world and forgetting we're not of the
A talk was presented during our Stake Conference where we were told to dress
more modestly and more respectfully as LDS women and men. We were also told to
carefully choose which shoes we wear to church. Away from church, we are still
expected to respect ourselves and dress modestly and in good taste. That is a
simple thing. We know if we look like we respect ourselves.
Let me clarify something that Aggie238 has said that is absolutely correct. A
persons thoughts and actions are upon their heads. An individual can't
determine the thoughts of an individual. Rapist will still rape regardless of
the attire. These are facts. However, immodest dress doesn't present the
young women or young man in a proper light.The Strength of Youth is
the Lord's revelation to his leaders of what is acceptable and what is not.
When either young men or young women dress in appropriately they are giving off
the wrong vibes as to who they are. As Elder Holland so much stated, you
don't leave your religion at the door, you carry it with you where ever you
go. As President Monson has stated, you must be willing to stand alone in a
world that is more and more immoral, immodest and downright degenerate in many
aspects. Our youth need to understand that they are the future leaders of the
Lord's kingdom on earth and need to separate themselves from the wiles of
the world at large.
Women should just wear burka's so that men don't have impure thoughts
about any part of their anatomy. In fact, maybe women shouldn't be allowed
to leave the house because just being around women that are fully covered could
result in some men having impure thoughts. God knows what you look
like naked. Why does he care if you wear leggings or not?
@aggie238I completely agree with you that we are not responsible for
others thoughts. However, I also agree with others' comments that we can
influence how others think. Perhaps it is better stated as saying that while we
are not responsible for others thoughts, Satan can use our immodesty to promote
inappropriate thoughts in others.However, the bigger issue in my
mind is respect for oneself. Thinking of how our dress might influence others,
or how it can be used by Satan to influence others, might be a good measuring
stick even though we are not responsible for their actions. The point of modesty
is to respect the sacred nature of our bodies by ensuring that the clothes we
wear are not so revealing that our bodies are on display. Tight clothing, such
as leggings, can (and usually does) put our bodies on display despite completely
covering the skin.Having said that, we are carnal beings by nature.
Our test is to overcome the natural man and submit to the will of God regardless
of what the world is doing and what is going on around us. This is being in the
world but not of it.
Aggie238: Actually in numerous talks during General Conference and the Strength
of Youth Pamphlet one learns that the Apostles, Young Women Leaders, Relief
Society and others during General Conference have addressed that when young
women dress immodestly that they are giving off the wrong impression. They wear
modest clothes when it is good for them but wear immodest clothes on other
occasions. I suggest you go to the main website and do a search of Modesty.
You will find quite a few talks that are dated and some that are not.It really isn't to shame them into wearing modest clothing but it is to
say that when they give off the wrong vibes that they may not intend to, still
rests upon their shoulders for not obeying the standards they have been given.
By the way the Strength of Youth pamphlet is not just for the youth
but for everyone in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and the
world. This pamphlet is a protection for our youth and all of our people.
Women should look like women. Not bags of groceries or tents. Living in Southern California, I know from *real* immodest dress. That we are
arguing here about tights, shoulders, etc. -- just gah. Long baggy
shorts on women are an abomination before me, and she that weareth them shall
have no forgiveness, neither in this world nor that to come.
"Are you representing yourself as a child of God? Are you representing
yourself as a member of his church?"Sadly, it is possible to
answer "yes" to the former and "no" to the latter.That is to say, there is quite a bit of daylight between what the Church cares
about, and what God does.My rule is this: To whatever extent
Mormonism resembles Islam, the former is off track.
@1857496"So what you're saying is that people only think
something is arousing, only if they think it is"People only
think something is arousing if they think it is. Yes, that would be a rather
definitional statement. People aren't going to think something is arousing
if they don't think it's arousing. Here's the
problem... when pushing for modesty, if you start labeling certain things as
sexualized, then you've committed the problem we're trying to avoid,
women being sexualized/objectified. Take the example of breastfeeding with and
without a cover. In societies where the latter is normal and expected, that act
isn't really sexualized, however in societies where an exposed breast, even
for that purpose, is considered immodest, then that act has been sexualized.
@1857496Also, your ad hominem attack that since I am arguing against
your misogynistic views, I must therefore be addicted to porn doesn't
strengthen your argument much. It's also pretty offensive. Not that I
need to justify myself to you, but I am an LDS member in good standing, I hold a
significant calling in my ward, I attend the temple regularly with my wife with
a clear conscience. I simply feel that it is degrading to both men and women to
objectify the female body as a sex object in need of covering and to lower men
to animals incapable of self-control. To me, that reeks of medieval apostate
dogma. Alternatively, I support teaching that the bodies of men and women are
sacred, beautiful, and worthy of respect as a gift from a God who has asked us
to conduct ourselves in a modest and humble manner, and that each man and woman
is a divine being who is capable of overcoming the "natural man" through
his or her choices and with the help of the Savior.
@1857496Yes, I would like you to cite where a recent general
authority or conference address has counseled that a primary reason for modesty
is to keep the thoughts of others pure. And yes, I am arguing that
if a girl were to walk down the street in lingerie, or along the beach in a
bikini, or when I walk past the Victoria's Secret store in the mall, or
when I see a racy commercial on TV, or, God forbid, I see a girl wearing
leggings or short shorts on my college campus, I ought to be able to control my
thoughts. All of this actually happens on a regular basis to all men,
regardless of how a few LDS women dress. It's a consequence of living in
modern society. If God didn't think we had the capability to resist the
temptation, he wouldn't have allowed it to become so rampant. Now,
I'm certainly not arguing that women SHOULD dress immodestly, but I am
arguing that they shouldn't be shamed into dressing modestly because some
men might entertain impure thoughts as a result. Men who want to entertain
impure thoughts will do it anyway.
To the people that have expressed the idea that women should be free to wear
what they want and if men can't control their thoughts, it's their
problem. That idea is contrary to the scriptures. In 1 Cor. 10, Paul tells
Christians that if they attend an activity with non-believers, that the
Christians shouldn't do anything (eat meat offered to idols) that might
cause others to be offended and thereby reject the gospel. Jacob 1:19 "..
answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the
word of God with all diligence.." IOW, those scriptures show that our
actions of commission or omission can cause us to be responsible for the sins of
others. Women aren't as preoccupied with sex as men nor
visually stimulated to the degree men are and therefore might not be aware of
how men are affected by mini skirts, cleavage and leggings. Women and girls
need to ask guys who will give them the unvarnished un-whitewashed truth about
how these things affect men and how men view the girls/women who wear them.
There are many situations in society where we have legislated restrictions on
the actions of others. We don't let them "govern themselves" on
smoking in buildings or drinking and driving. Revealing clothing is just a more
gray area, but if we say that our choices don't impact others, then are we
really "our brother's keeper"?
If modesty is something an individual does for themselves, or keeps it between
themselves and God, that's fine. But too often I see this tread where a man
imposes modesty upon a women, sending the message, "I can't control
myself, so I'm going to control you." Let make sure this isn't a
misogynistic-driven attribute, but rather a godly attribute. Modesty is about
being humble and moderate. If a man can't control his passions the problem
lies within himself, not in the women around him.
I loved Angela's answer to this question. Inspecting our attitudes about
why we do things would simplify many questions.As a temple worker I
am sometimes surprised by the clothing people wear to the temple, but in general
it is none of my business and it is easy for me to look away if I find their
clothes distracting in any way.
If you can see the outline of your butt, it's too tight. That's pretty
much my policy. That being said, as a dancer, I wear leggings all the time,
because it's incredibly impractical to dance in skinny jeans. Leggings can
be your best friend in the winter (I'm rather partial to skirts in the
summer); just be selective. :)
Oh, dear. This is a terrific conundrum for our young women. I remember so
wanting to "fit in" and be "like" everyone else I admired in
school, too. But Leggs, we are a people who are "set apart." This means
that we make a choice not to care what people and the world think, but we rely
on what Heavenly Father thinks and how He directs us to live our lives. I see
you asking advice of other people, but have you addressed your concerns and
confusion to Heavenly Father? He WILL let you know what is appropriate for you
if you ask him in all sincerity. You might want to give that a try. In the
meantime, consider for YOURSELF what image you wish to portray to the world. I
know that the "leggings" and "skinny jeans" styles originated in
fashion magazines and runways. You might want to consider WHY that particular
style became popular. Was it to make money for someone? Was it to objectify
women's bodies? Was it because the designer has so much respect for
women's bodies? Look at it with the eyes of your heart. Then choose the
I think modesty is a lot about attitude. Heed the advice of your parents and
work with them I think you can find something that both of you will find that
you like. Your parents may be tough about this, but that toughness shows that
they love you and care for you and don't want you to get hurt. I can tell
you from my experience as an adult hindsight is 20/20 and there were occasions
when had I listened to my parents instead of doing my own thing it would have
saved me a lot of grief. (in my case it wasn't about clothing, but the same
principle applies). Remember that your parents love you as does your Heavenly
Father. Sometimes we may not always like the answer, but there's usually a
very good reason for it.
I liked Paul in MDs response the best. I have 5 daughters and 1 son. My girls
are all fit but have different body types. One is slender with some curves, but
not too many. A couple of the girls are more curvy. The same thing looks a lot
different on each one of them. No cleavage shows on one, when the other is
always fighting to cover up. I do think that part of the modesty equation is
what the wearer thinks and is trying to project about herself and the other part
of the equation is what others perceive when they see her. I think the heart of
modesty is not exposing or presenting your body in a way to draw undue attention
to it. I personally think leggings are too form fitting and too casual to be
worn in certain situations. I make my teenage daughter who likes them wear a
longer shirt that covers her rear end. If the girls are under 10, it's just
cute. The rest of the time they are good lounge wear or exercise wear,
especially when made in spandex.
I think that it is somewhat superficial and shallow to be overly concerned with
whether or not leggings are modest. Perhqps LDS need to concern themselves with
weightier matters, such as the decline in the economy and the decrease in
personal and economic freedom. I hope that the parents, in particular, stop
being so petty.
Leggings are just like walking around naked waist down, except for the color of
the fabric, period. You don't need no imagination. It's all there on
Leggings are great for the house, but not for anything else unless covered. Even
the dark ones are see through when worn like they are supposed to (which is
form-fitting). One said it isn't our responsibility to worry about
others... your right it isn't, but it gives others the belief that it is
okay. Where I live I would venture that atleast 75% of the young women dress
immodestly and the excuse parents and teens give is, "well it is so hot
here" AND?? The gospel does not say this is what we wear except when it gets
hot... I am from Houston and have lived in Arkansas, Guam and
California too. ALL are hot places the correct attire is the same if your in
Alaska and 35 below 0 or Texas and its 110 degrees. Leggings are part of that,
if it is form fitting it isn't modest unless your in the gym or the pool.
I think you might be surprised at how worthy young men would answer that
question. Those I have talked to have said they are immodest. They show every
curve of every part of the female's lower half. That doesn't help
those young men who are trying to maintain worthy thoughts. Although their
worthiness is not your responsibility, wearing revealing clothing , whether it
is see through, or whether it just shows the exact shape of the body, isn't
I personally don't have a problem with leggings as long as they are not
worn with regular shirts or used as a substitute for jeans. In our house, any
shirts worn with leggings must come to at least the mid-thigh and be loose
fitting. I think they're also great with knee-length dresses in non-church
settings. When my girls were little and wanted to wear a dress to school; they
had to wear leggings so that they would not show their underwear. I noticed
after a few weeks several of the other parents started having their little girls
wear leggings (carpi-length) or bike shorts under their dresses too. BTW -- If
it's at all see-through it is tights not leggings and should not be worn as
a form of pants.
@aggie238You seriously want a source for that? Sounds like you are
in denial or something. And to say that what people wear "doesn't
really cause impure thoughts to anyone" Did you really just say that? So
what you're saying is that people only think something is arousing, only if
they think it is, am I getting that right? So when a girl walks down the street
in lingerie, people wont think impure thoughts, unless they 'allow
themselves to. I think church leaders have taught to dress modestly, I
haven't heard GA's explaining to 'try not to think impure
thoughts when you're directly looking at immodest clothing. I've actually heard this argument before, people that think this way are
ones who are addicted to pornography, and say, 'I'm not addicted, I
can quit anytime'. I think that most guys try to argue that its
not a big deal, is because they like seeing girls dressed this way, and that
usually, they have pornography addictions themselves. Because the mindsets and
justifications are the same.
As someone who had similar conversations with my own parents, and now I'm
raising 3 young kids, may I just say that it's not worth it? It's hard
for parents to confront those things, and it makes it harder when children
don't accept that counsel. Changing your wardrobe certainly won't
hurt, but not changing it might. I really wish I had listened more to that kind
of counsel from my parents--that sounded nit-picky and overbearing--because now
I'm trying overcome those kinds of things by myself, instead of having
already mastered them and moving on to new things. It's way easier to focus
on habits of dress and apparel before you're also trying to manage kids,
finances, and everything else. It's a great chance to make a choice for
yourself, and it would take courage to choose something when you weren't
the one who came up with the idea. Leggings aren't forever. Use it as an
excuse to have your mom take you shopping! I would totally dig one of my kids
bargaining an equal trade of merchandise.
As a mother of a teenage girl, I've taught her how to care about herself in
a way that shows (for herself) what is okay to wear or not okay. She also helps
out girl's in our ward who are new or converts to our church. She wears
leggings all the time and loves them. With that said she is a 14 yr. old girl
and she does try to push the boundaries and I ask her if she'd wear it
around her grandma or heavenly father and she quickly goes to her room to
change, without me telling her,b/c she nows what message she wants to give to
the world. BTW, I also have 3 teenage boys who have the same standards as their
sister, no thank tops, muscle shirts, etc.... they must also wear shirts at all
times including mowing the lawn, but limited to this alone. I think this girl
should have a FHE activity to tell her mom how to dress or at least how it
makes her feel about it.
I am sad at how judgmental so many are to what really seems like a typical teen.
A typical teen is someone who is trying to apply what they've learned from
parents, teachers, leaders, etc.while also testing the boundaries. This is a
normal part of maturation regardless the moral compass or religion they
subscribe to. It's clothing for goodness sakes. (Oh and for those who are
so harsh as to prescribe words like tramp to her... SHAME ON YOU!!... If I knew
your mother or grandmother I would have them sit you down for a good talking to!
You're judging her morality on her choice of clothing while showing yours
with the words you use!)I had to share something very funny. My DN
newsletter went into my spam folder today because of the title of this article.
I am guessing the wording seemed to suggest something that yahoo didn't
like. Very funny to me.
@xert"I think if I hear one more person use the phrase, "leave
something to the imagination," I'm going to throw up. "12:13pm@ccwsft"Leggings are tight and revealing because
they leave no room for the imagination"12:45pmLooks like
we made it 32 minutes...
When my daughter was dating, she asked me why guys always stared at her chest. I
told her that God wired guys that way to encourage us to talk to women. If it
weren't for our sex drive, we'd much rather hang out with our buddies.
Men are wired to look and leggings/jeggings/yoga pants are designed to attract
those looks. Men believe that if women are wearing them (and low tops, short
skirts, stiletto pumps, etc...), you want us men to look and want us to be
sexually attracted to you. We reason that if that's true, that you want men
know that you are sexually available (at least to the right guy). They send men
a message whether or not you want to send it.Yesterday, I was at the
counter at a store and a gal in black leggings, with her shirt tugged in them,
was next to me being helped as well. Being a "leg-man", I hated to see
her leave, but loved seeing her walk away. I know, I'm a pig....but
that's the way the "natural man" in me is wired.
@1857495"...but we are also counseled to dress modestly so we
don't cause impure thought to others."Can you cite a
current, credible source for that? (i.e. a recent general authority or
conference address)Additionally, style of dress really doesn't
"cause" impure thoughts in anyone. The opportunity for sin lies
strictly in what we do with the information presented to us in the form of
sensory input. If immodest dress causes sin in others, then changing the dress
of a tiny fraction of the female population isn't going to reduce the
impurity of men's thoughts one iota. As a male, I can tell you that
whether or not a female dresses in a modest fashion has little real impact over
whether an undesirable thought pops into my head or not. In fact, any honest
man will tell you that it happens all the time and in a random fashion, often
without any sort of trigger or visual stimulus at all. This is how we are wired
(and not without good reason). It doesn't make a hill of beans worth of
difference whether a woman wears leggings or a pioneer dress. The choice is
I couldn't agree more with the advice you've given Angela. Every
question is a valuable part of individual testimony and faith. Members of the
church should be supportive, charitable, and understanding, even if they do not
personally understand or agree with context. Our salvation is
individual. God and his chosen leaders are our judge. It is not the right of the
community to condemn others for their choices. It is our duty to love. Wear what you feel is appropriate, and let the consequences follow. Make
choices based on your own testimony, not because of speculation from others.
Keep up the great work Angela!
A question to all the women in Utah County who wear spandex, tight workout
clothes, or other revealing attire in public: Do you expect your husbands -
many of whom hold the Priesthood, and who've made sacred vows of fidelity
in holy temples - to avoid looking at other women similarly dressed? Do you realize how difficult it is for your husbands to maintain virtuous
thoughts during the day? Do you expect them to be totally faithful in thought,
word and deed? If you answered yes, then help us - the other
husbands you encounter in public. Embrace modesty, as taught by the leaders you
sustain. Many of us work hard to maintain a high spiritual consistency so we
can be at our best for our families. I'm sure your husbands do too.
Leggings have become a way to look sexy (sexual) while technically covering your
skin. It is a sham. It is obeying the letter of the law while totally ignoring
the spirit of the law, which is to avoid anything that could be using your body
to gain sexual attention. It goes against the standards for youth booklet in
that you are wearing tight fitting clothing that shows every curve. However, I would not look down on someone who wears leggings in this manner.
At least they are making an effort. It would look much worse without the
leggings. However, it leaves me to believe that they don't understand that
being modest is about not drawing attention yourself in worldly ways. It leads
me to believe that these people are not to where they could be spiritually. We
are all in different places on our spiritual journey.
@aggie238I agree that this is between the individual and the Lord,
but that does not rule out that one's decisions or actions affect others.
It greatly affects others. Yes, we are counseled to be modest, because its a
commandment, but we are also counseled to dress modestly so we don't cause
impure thought to others. Because most sins, starts with a thought, then it
leads to other things. I know that if others do think impurely, that is on them,
I was not saying that 'their' sins will be on her head. I know that
people will be punished for their own sins, but that does not mean one has to be
inviting the thoughts in the first place. One can't say, 'everybody is
invited to my crazy party, but I cant be responsible for the aftermath'.
Solution: don't throw the party.But the same things applies to
people who are addicted to pornography, and say; "Its only affecting
me", because its not only affecting them. yeah their decisions and sins are
between him and the Lord, but the decisions still affect others around.
I think if I hear one more person use the phrase, "leave something to the
imagination," I'm going to throw up. How in the world anyone could
speak to a young girl that way while not feeling like a filthy minded pervert,
is beyond me. Think about what you're saying! Put it this way--if your
daughter asked you if her leggings were right for a luncheon, would you
say---"Oh sweetie, Old Uncle Ernie is coming today. I think you better wear
something more modest. You know--leave something to his imagination." I
highly doubt it. Yet time after time, I hear people talking about modesty among
young girls and saying, "I've always found it better to leave something
to the imagination." Unless you think the onlooker would be thinking things
like, "Wow--I wonder what she'd look like with even more clothes
on," you aren't really grabbing the moral high ground here, are you?
I think this just comes down to selfishness. Selfish parents justify behavior
in their children. I REALLY loved Dr. Pepper. About 10 years ago
my daughter wanted a drink but I told her no, that the caffeine wouldn't be
good for a 3 year old. Then my thoughts turned to why in the world should I be
drinking it if she's not allowed? Since then I've tried to clearly
think through my own decisions and thus be the grown-up good example for my
kids. As an adult I should be able to make good choices and not justify my way
into bad choices; I'm not an old fuddy-duddy just because I think this
way.It's time for parents to lead and for children to learn to
make the right choices. If we teach our kids by word and by example
they'll be better off. If they choose to make a poor choice hopefully
they'll then still be able to make a quick recovery and not fall into bad
Let's consider where leggings are found in the store. In the lingerie
department. By the socks, tights, underwear, bras, and pajamas. I have never
found a pair of leggings in the pants section. Maybe I just shop at the wrong
stores, but when I go looking for pants I don't have to sort through
packages of leggings (yet another sign leggings are not pants-packaging!) Having said that, I think leggings are cute...with a dress.
To "1857496" don't worry about the thoughts it puts into the minds
of others. Think about your typical teen girl or woman. Wearing leggings does
NOTHING to make a girl look more attractive, unless she is very, very slim and
very fit without extremely low body fat. If a normal girl wants to dress in a
way that drives guys crazy, avoid the skin tight cloths.I hate to be
the one to tell you and women everywhere. Men, other than your husband,
don't want to see your muffin-top, back fat, or love handles. The tight
clothes that are popular right now do nothing to flatter the feminine form.
Plus, those low cut tops that are so popular make the decent men uncomfortable
because every time you lean over, they can see your belly button.
@1857496"But when it comes to modesty, it comes down to what
thoughts are you putting in the minds of others when you wear these
clothes?"No, no, no, no, NO!"We believe that a
man [or woman] will be punished for his [or her] OWN sins, and not for
Adam's [or anyone else's] transgression."Modesty has
nothing to do with what other people do or think. It has everything to do with
respect for yourself and for your God, and it does not apply only to the amount
or type of clothing one wears. This notion that women are somehow responsible
for the thoughts of men based on what they wear is utterly false. It not only
relegates women to little more than a sexual object in need of covering, but it
degrades men to little more than raging, sex-driven animals which are incapable
of self control. This is both inconsistent with, and offensive to the divine
nature of both men and women as taught in the doctrines of the LDS church. I
would counsel this young lady to simply consult prayerfully with her Father in
heaven about this question.
Angela, I loved your comment. If WE feel right with the Lord, it is
up to us.If people looking at us have a problem, it is their
problem, not ours. And the judging on here? Please! Can you look at yourselves?
So many don't like the looks of others; too fat; too thin.
I've even heard sleeveless dresses on our young women or sundresses worn by
little girls called "porn" ~ and idiot-thought like this sends public
opinion on members of our church back to a bad place.Can we just
stop, please? I have known this to be the last straw to drive a young person
away from church activity forever. If YOU are the one casting stones, how do you
plan to explain THAT loss to your Heavenly Father?
I want to join in by saying that leggings are not pants. Yes they are tight
like skinny jeans, but they are not jeans. You look like you ran out of your
house half dressed. I would tell my daughter that leggings are not pants just
like I would tell them that lounge pants should not be worn around town.Just because it is trendy that doesn't mean it is tasteful or
actually looks good. Read "Leggings Are Not Pants: An Essay" in the
Huffington Post for a Liberal's view of Leggings.
I know that many people have different opinions about what is modest or not. I
know for women, the things that they wear are not a big deal, and that in most
cases they really wearing them, 'they look cute on me', i.e. leggings,
yoga pants, etc.. But when it comes to modesty, it comes down to what thoughts
are you putting in the minds of others when you wear these clothes? I know that
women would say that it is not fair to wear clothes based on what others are
thinking, but its the world we live in. If the clothes that you wear are causing
others to look at you inappropriately, and think inappropriate thoughts. Then
you should reconsider the clothes you wear. Unless you want to get that kind of
attention, then women are going to wear clothes that get others looking,
staring, and fantasizing. But if you do not want others staring and thinking
inappropriate thoughts about you, then do not wear clothes that makes it easier
for that invite. I know that its all up to the individual, but just know that
your decisions not only affect you, it can affects others as well.
Leggings are a form of underwear. While it is fine to wear them with a
dress/pants/skirt wearing only leggings has become accepted in society. So has
all the laughs and snickers at the wearers expense. If you want to avoid
looking stupid or getting laughed/stared at, adopt different acceptable attire
to wear in public.
It sounds like the family needs to sit down and assess their own family dress
standards, for adults and kids, regardless of what anyone else is wearing. The
very simple standard in our house is "Is it the appropriate clothing for the
activity?" Each individual has to assess why they are wearing certain
things. You teach the correct principle and let people govern themselves.All that being said, I think people should be less judgmental about what
others are wearing in general. The modesty police in the LDS culture, especially
toward women and girls, is embarrassing and unnecessary. We are each responsible
for our own thoughts and actions and we need to stop blaming or attempting to
I agree that it's not the leggings necessarily (unless they're sheer
or meant to be provocative-looking) that are the problem, it's the skirt
that goes with them. The skirt should reach the knees. Ladies, don't fool
yourself into thinking that you're being modest, when you wear a miniskirt
with your leggings. It's inappropriate anytime, but particularly in church
for temple-endowed women. My skirts and dresses always hit my knee or below.
She has a point. I see far too many mothers of teenagers wearing clothes that
are too tight, too short and generally inappropriate. They seemed to be obsessed
with looking young. Good grooming examples need to be set by parents and
grandparents! Personally, I don't think leggings or skinny jeans are
appropriate for public display. Both are in violation of our office dress code
as well, thank goodness!
I understand the desire to want to be fashionable or feel like we want to dress
like what seems to be everyone else. But leggings are like tights. They are form
fitting and leave nothing to the imagination. Certainly, they now have some very
cute ones especially if one is creative in how they match them, and they can be
fine with very long shirts or very short dresses keeping those items modest.
That is one thing I taught my daughters, you can be fashionable and modest. It
just takes being a bit creative.
Too many Mormons think modesty is just about how much skin is or isn't
showing. But tightness is part of it as well. Guess what: That shirt might
cover up enough skin for you to consider it modest, but when it's so tight
that we can tell when you've got goosebumps, it's not modest.
Who doesn't want to be cool. as a parent I have the last say in what
isn't cool. Humility isn't thinking any less of your self,
it's thinking less of yourself.
What constitutes acceptable wear in a culture changes over time. Parents and
leaders need to exercise righteous judgment on matters of morality. Just because
a currently acceptable clothing or grooming style might seem gauche to an older
generation does not necessarily mean that it is morally inappropriate. Our
children can benefit from learning to recognize the difference between the
gospel and the culture.During part of their teen years my older sons
chose hair styles that were ... well ... far from missionary standard. Although
I would have liked something more in line with that standard, I figured that if
I couldn't let the boys make their own decisions on hair style, they would
never learn to develop internal judgment on truly important matters.That being said, the way we choose to groom and dress is a form of
communication, as surely as are the words we choose to speak. We ought to
honestly answer what kind of message we are choosing to send by what we wear. If
the style is akin to language we would never let pass through our lips, maybe we
ought to choose a style that is more in line with our true eternal identity.
Leggings are NOT pants.One needs to have a skirt on to the knees
whilst wearing the leggings.If one wants to look like a tramp, one
wears the leggings w/o a skirt to the knees (or shorts to the knees).
Oh, come on now! Leggings? Is this what we have degenerated to? Wondering if
your leggings are immodest?Are you next going to ask if your hair is too
short, your make-up to overwhelming, and your skirts too tight or short? Is it
OK to only pay 9.9% tithing?The immaturity and self-indulgent attitude of
the question is more affronting than the question.Perhaps you should ask.
"What are my personal standards and do they agree with my personal
worth?""Are my personal standards in conflict with what I know or
have been taught?" We have been taught that we should not need to be
instructed in every little thing. If we were, there would be no personal
growth.Ok, let us look at your parents’ standards. There is no law
that says the children can't set the example for the parents. If you feel
that your Mom's skinny jeans are too tight or not what they should be, tell
her but not in connection with a conversation about what you want to wear.
I really don't have a complaint about leggings, but rather what is worn
with them. Young mothers make up most of our ward. The trend (set by the RS
Presidency) is to wear tight leggings and a long over-blouse that just comes mid
thigh or even barely covering the rear end of the individual. I guess they think
that is a "dress." I think it is immodest and crude looking!
One of the problems with wearing leggings is that they can be tight and
revealing. I think they are best paired with a long loose over top or dress--
something that covers your body nearly to the knees. That said I
personally don't think leggings are dressy enough to be considered "our
very best" or approriate be worn to sacred meetings. They are more of a
sporty trendy look. It might be a good exercise to sit down with
your mom and look through some fashion sites on-line (Polyvore, Shabby Apple,
DownEast, ASOS) and together point out ideas and outfits you like and share what
type of event you think they would be appropriate to wear them to and what you
think the wearer is trying to express through her outfit. We do
speak about ourselves by what we wear so it's always good to double check
if what we feel we are expressing is what others are receiving!
As a father of 3 daughters and 2 sons, here is my 2 cents. I don't pretend
to be an authority on modesty, but this is basically the rule in our home. If
leggings are sheer at all (I know, most aren't), then they are treated like
hose. If you wouldn't go outside showing that much pantyhose, you
can't go outside showing that much leggings.If they aren't
sheer, then it depends on how clingy they are. Completely skin tight up to the
waist? You cover up as much of the leggings as you would your own skin.I ask my daughters to reflect on what impression they are trying to give
people of themselves, especially guys they may be interested in. If a guy
won't look at you unless you leave little to his imagination, he isn't
worth your time. You are better than that.
Leggings are basically open footed tights. A decade or two ago No one would have
dreamed to be walking around in just a pair of tights. Yet here in 2014 they do,
not only teenagers, but grown women. My grandmother always said, always present
yourself as if you were going to a job interview.