Erin Stewart: A prime-time mockery of marriage

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  • Aurelius maximus Berryville, VA
    July 17, 2014 4:14 p.m.

    It is interesting how the author has such a problem with this show but then doesn't mention any facts about how quickly young people in the church get married.

    The people in the show have an understanding of marriage of "death till you part".

    The people in the church have an understanding that marriage is for eternity.

    What I always thought was crazy was how I knew of young people at BYU-IDO getting within a semester.

    I always thought that was crazy at least according to what I understand about the eternal nature of marriage.

  • Ace Farmington, UT
    July 17, 2014 7:45 a.m.

    I think you haven't watched the show. The premise is fascinating, and the participants definitely take the process much more seriously than the joke that is the Bachelor. Why don't you watch the first two episodes and ten re-write your column?

  • GK Willington Salt Lake City, UT
    July 16, 2014 1:50 p.m.

    re: I M LDS 2

    [It is "entertainment". If you or society are affected negatively by this silly little show, then you have deeper problems]

    Agreed. It means you may be the 21st century equivalent of a Puritan.

    re: Surfs Up

    As opposed to the girls who are looking for their 1st husband that can provide for them like daddy does?

  • Hank Pym SLC, UT
    July 16, 2014 1:44 p.m.

    The Bachelor is okay but this new show isn't? Can you say Confirmation Bias.

    Satisfaction starting soon on USA seems much more amoral.

    Reality TV is nothing more that psychological featherweights w/ voyeurism issues watching other psychological featherweights whine about 3rd rate 1st world problems.

  • andyjaggy American Fork, UT
    July 16, 2014 11:36 a.m.

    So don't watch it. 95% of TV is a complete and utter waste of time anyway.

    Actually I take that back 100% of TV is a complete and utter waste of time.

  • Llew40 Sandy, UT
    July 16, 2014 7:44 a.m.

    With more marriage minded women here in Utah than men, with more women condemned to singles wards because dating that leads to marriage just ain't happening and because women are held responsible for their own family creation, BRING THIS SHOW TO UTAH!

  • Bob A. Bohey Marlborough, MA
    July 16, 2014 5:45 a.m.

    @John Charity Spring: Shame on you. Your statement about what the modern entertainment industry openly stated is patently false. And you know it.

  • antodav TAMPA, FL
    July 16, 2014 5:44 a.m.

    This is just a symptom of a much bigger problem. The sanctity and value of marriage is disintegrating across the board, and this is one of the results of that. Gay marriage is another, but the lack of value that heterosexual couples place on marriage is what has gotten us to this point in the first place.

  • Bob K Davis, CA
    July 16, 2014 1:45 a.m.

    The idea that this silly show merits an article on the DN is troubling.

    Even more troubling are sentiments like this:
    John Charity Spring
    Back Home in Davis County, UT
    "The modern entertainment industry has an open and stated agenda of promoting substance abuse and wanton sexuality. Part of this agenda includes an attempt to destroy traditional marriage and family.
    Modern Hollywood portrays marriage as a burdensome institution to be scorned and ridiculed. Indeed, Hollywood treats marriage as something to be avoided at all costs."

    --- Rather than making up falsehoods about Hollywood, why not concentrate on lowering the divorce rate in Utah? Please quote the manifesto of the Entertainment Biz, where they swear to promote substance abuse and wanton sexuality. Maybe they have been to the bars and brothels just over the line from Utah?

    By the way, most Hollywood studio execs are married. They may promote laughing at the sillier aspects of married life in exaggerated sitcoms, but a lot of us find that preferable to being over serious and humorless about the realities of life.

  • Surfs Up Huntington Beach, CA
    July 15, 2014 9:55 p.m.

    I think its a great idea~~ !! Its better than spending five years in a singles ward with a bunch of guys who pretend they want to get married but really don't.. At least the guys on this program are willing to give marriage a try.

  • AerilusMaximus Berryville, VA
    July 15, 2014 8:25 p.m.

    @ Frozen Fractals

    They don't have wedding chapels in Vegas for no reason.

  • Frozen Fractals Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2014 4:48 p.m.

    It might be somewhat less irrational (though less "shocking") for it to be an instant engagement and then decide 4 weeks later, but really, who marries a man/woman they just met?

  • John Charity Spring Back Home in Davis County, UT
    July 15, 2014 3:11 p.m.

    The modern entertainment industry has an open and stated agenda of promoting substance abuse and wanton sexuality. Part of this agenda includes an attempt to destroy traditional marriage and family.

    Modern Hollywood portrays marriage as a burdensome institution to be scorned and ridiculed. Indeed, Hollywood treats marriage as something to be avoided at all costs.

    Unfortunately, an impressionable public has begun to imitate what is shown on television and movies. As a result, the rates of illegitimacy and disease are skyrocketing.

    The irrefutable fact is that wanton, uncontrolled sexuality does have harmful effects for both the individual and society. Shame on those who seek to impose this harm.

  • DavidMiller Bountiful, UT
    July 15, 2014 12:24 p.m.

    Take this same show, remove the 4-week timeframe to decide about staying married, require a minimum of 4 months before they can consider divorce, and then have the film crews follow up regularly with each couple until the first anniversary or when they get divorced (whichever comes first). Then you might come up with something worth watching.

    By the end of four weeks the bride and groom may still be wrapping their mind around the fact that they are married now.

  • RedShirt USS Enterprise, UT
    July 15, 2014 12:02 p.m.

    I agree this is not a mockery of marriage.

    This is a reflection of today's attitude towards marriage, or at least the attitude that some people want to portray. What will be most telling is the attitude of the people on the show, and what the "experts" have set up.

    Are the couples featured the type of people that are going to do everything they can to make the marriage work, even though they didn't meet their spouse until they were at the alter? Or, is this yet another reality show where the producers put people together that they hope will fight, and boost ratings?

    My hope is that they have found people that want to be married and are willing to work at forming a happy marriage.

  • Ohio-LDS NE, OH
    July 15, 2014 11:56 a.m.

    I understand the author's concerns regarding this new "trial marriage" show, but I cannot understand how she decries this show and still support The Bachelor. In The Bachelor, we are presented with a man who is seriously dating and even sleeping with several women at the same time, any one of whom he may propose to within a few weeks time. In the "trial marriage" show, at least the couple is married when they sleep together, at least they are trying things one-on-one rather than in a serial-dating/marriage situation, and at least there is an even power arrangement rather than 25:1 dynamics. Even if the couple ends up divorcing after 4 weeks, I can't see how that experience is worse, or more demeaning of marriage, than what is presented in The Bachelor.

    July 15, 2014 11:13 a.m.

    praxis -

    Except that arranged marriages in other cultures are not for 4 weeks. They are for life, and often involved political alliances.

    I M LDS 2 -

    There is not going to be one "smoking gun" that points to the disintrgration of the family. It is a death by 1000 cuts. That is what our Prophets have been warning us about for years....

  • JHP Okemos, MI
    July 15, 2014 11:07 a.m.

    Good article. I saw the first episode, and while it's entertaining, it's the four-week trial that just isn't right. If they actually committed to be married indefinitely, then it wouldn't be a big deal, but then that would decrease the entertainment value, so that's how they do it.

  • praxis Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2014 10:10 a.m.

    Just a modern example of one form of "Traditional Marriage" - the arranged marriage. It's been going on since before the start of recorded history. In the Bible, the most notable example is the marriage of Isaac and Rebekah.

    Arranged marriages are still occurring in societies around the world. Love wasn't truly considered a basis when forming a marriage until the Victorian era.

  • I M LDS 2 Provo, UT
    July 15, 2014 9:45 a.m.

    This is not a sign that society is on the decline.

    This is not a mockery of the institution of marriage.

    This is not evidence of "the disintegration of the family".

    And the sky is not falling.

    It is "entertainment". If you or society are affected negatively by this silly little show, then you have deeper problems.

  • Bob A. Bohey Marlborough, MA
    July 15, 2014 9:17 a.m.

    Just think how this show harm all of the people that are currently married or ever will be married...I know, right?

  • AerilusMaximus Berryville, VA
    July 15, 2014 8:50 a.m.

    @ RanchHand

    "Blame it on "the gays"; everyone else does."

    Really? There needs to be some clarification on that because the word "everyone" has a very broad meaning.

    Just many are not for Gay Marriage does not mean they are blaming all martial problems upon them.

    "No other success can compensate for failure in the home."

    I will concur with the author in stating that many are making a mockery of marriage. I think it is probably to lessen the guilt, pain, etc. that they feel themselves at being failures at it.

    If Marriage continues to be defined as just another relationship then what does that mean? It means that families are going to disintegrate faster and be more susceptible to falling apart.

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    July 15, 2014 8:49 a.m.

    Hey, we always see positive articles here about some local or another on a reality show. Yet, as shown in this case, it is the worst that tv can offer, and there is no low to which it cannot stoop.

  • MNmamaof4 Lakeville, MN
    July 15, 2014 7:08 a.m.

    "We warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets." (The Family: A Proclamation to the World.) When I first heard that in 1995, I couldn't wrap my head around what the First Presidency was trying to warn us about. This TV show is just one more evidence of the direction we are headed. What to do? "We call upon responsible citizens...everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society."

  • Jamescmeyer Midwest City, USA, OK
    July 15, 2014 6:42 a.m.

    I'm bothered by the premise of the show. This is the sort of thing people think of marriage now, and they're cheating themselves, their families, their communities, and increasingly their states and nations through it.