@A GuyWithABrain 3:59 p.m. July 11, 2014I've noticed that in
couples where there is one spouse who is happy to lead and the other is happy to
generally follow, things seem to go sooooo much more smoothly. But in marriages
where BOTH want to lead, things get difficult incredibly fast.-----------------------Not accurate. The best marriages work when
the partners are equal, and both lead equally. The "I'm the boss, you
do what I say" scenario you advocate gives the message that one of the
spouses is worth less than the other, and that the opinions of one of the
spouses has no real value. That is NOT how a supposedly beloved spouse should
be treated.My husband and I have been married almost 45 years. We
have a marriage of equals, and a partnership composed of both of us lead and
preside over our family. We work together and if we can't agree on a
course of action then we find a totally different way to handle the issue. That
has saved us getting into a lot of problems. Your way one person in control)
would have allowed the problems to happen.
Two thoughts:1 - Good article. Staright-forward, solid advice.2 - Wow. Have I got a lot to learn. Reading it is one thing. Doing it
is another.I will say that after 25 yrs of marriage, I've
noticed that in couples where there is one spouse who is happy to lead and the
other is happy to generally follow, things seem to go sooooo much more smoothly.
But in marriages where BOTH want to lead, things get difficult incredibly
fast.Good luck to all of us.
Years ago, back before dirt was invented, I came upon an acronym ARBS. It
awakened me to the power of relationships.A - Affection - be a
gentleman and gentle man with my Beloved. Obviously, it is also necessary to be
this way with all of mankind. Divine Affection is for only one. R -
Romance - this is to be confined only for my Beloved. Romance is not only the
gifts, cards, flowers and chocolates. It is also opening the door, giving my
hand to help her (even if she doesn't need it), It is developing a personal
language and "code" that only we know. So we can tell each other we love
each other any time any where. And Love poems and all the mushy stuff. B - Bonding - straight talk - always, about anything. Being clear in our
communication. Prayer - not only at the designated "times' but any
time. Being there for each other - above all else. S - Sex (gasp) -
intimacy, THE look in the grocery store, at the dining table, and most
especially tenderness in our love. All work together to create a
happy marriage. Most especially, we have always included a third member into our
marriage - Our Father in Heaven.
1. Keep dating after exchanging marriage vows. It's important to get
away, just the two of you, and keep the fire of love burning brightly just as
you did when dating before marriage.2. Nurture your emotional connection
with each other. Talk, spend time together, play games together.3.
Nurture frequent physical intimacy with your spouse. This is a form of marital
communication between spouses. Communication should be frequent.A
smart person will note that all three are interconnected. Neglecting any of the
three will almost certainly harm the other two.4. Draw close to The
Lord. It will bring you closer to each other as well.
We went around once at work giving advice to a coworker that was about to get
married. The best advice was from a high school intern, he simply said,
"don't be a jerk".