Utah Sports Ruckus: Dear King James, this is the place

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  • jzzlvr Salt Lake City, UT
    June 27, 2014 4:21 p.m.

    Very Funny Article!
    Best Line: "Bring his talents to South Temple."

  • Utah Valley Guy Springville, UT
    June 25, 2014 10:32 a.m.

    If I were looking to persuade LeBron, I'd have to include a bit about how coming to Utah would not only cement his legacy, but rehabilitate his image - and would certainly NOT suggest that he repeat the PR disaster. By LeBron going to a small market team, especially Utah, he would forever shed the false notion that LeBron is all about LeBron. LeBron is one of the most unselfish players in basketball history, and would be a perfect fit for Utah.

  • King Black Paso Robles, CA
    June 24, 2014 11:44 a.m.


    Only thing is Utah went to the Western Conference Finals when they had a healthy Boozer Memo and especially a healthy AK and D-Will, just that they lost to SA the same team Lebron lost to in the finals, that year.

  • jazz4ever San Mateo, CA
    June 23, 2014 2:03 a.m.

    Ok. I will take up @Picardy on the challenge! :)

    Dear King James,
    What is the fun in being a lowly King? Here is your chance of becoming an emperor. Yes, come to the Jazz and win with no princely sidekicks and you will be named Emperor James henceforth. Think about it. Your name starts with J and so does our team! If that isn't destiny I do not know what is. Just say yes, and we will even fire our new coach. You could practice when you wish and call what plays you want on the court. (*Pssst* call your own number every time). We will have promotions like a free taco for every basket, pizza for every block and a dozen Dunkin Donuts for every dunk you make! Your contributions will be fueling our economy.
    There is no need for "The decision", just come over and like the life of an Emperor as a JJ or Jazzy James.

  • cedarpost Washington, Utah
    June 22, 2014 6:34 p.m.

    And phoenix we want lebron not kevin shoots 30 shots a night durant.

  • cedarpost Washington, Utah
    June 22, 2014 6:31 p.m.

    Great piece. Thanks

  • panamadesnews Lindon, UT
    June 20, 2014 2:50 p.m.

    It would never happen, but we can dream, can't we. LOL

  • Brio Alpine, UT
    June 20, 2014 2:23 p.m.

    @ Logan:

    I believe the list that the Utah Jazz is on for LeBron James is somewhere in his "Top-30 Not-so-Short List".
    And that's a fact... even though he wasn't available to personally talk to.!

  • Well.... Phoenix, AZ
    June 20, 2014 2:19 p.m.

    Thanks, Copacetic... but seriously, LeBron can stay right where he is for all I care, especially if the heat cramps him up. He'd be nonfunctional outside today in Phx, that's for sure. So as for him with the Suns: Fuggedaboudit. As for him with the Jazz: A hundred times fuggedaboudit. As for the "humor," sorry, Copa, bud, gotta be real about this, but it'd never even occur to me to write a silly pointless letter like this one. I mean, why even start? Why LeBron in Utah? Kinda like LeBron on Mars? But looks like Nate's gotta fill space on a slow news day and apparently he's hilarious, somehow. So, at least the DN gets a few chuckles from some readers and a handful of comments out of it all. Guess it works for somebody. Just not me.

  • Logan Palmer, AK
    June 20, 2014 1:23 p.m.

    Hilarious? Was this meant to be humorous? I talked with LeBron yesterday and The Jazz are on his short list. He asked me not to name names because he hasn't told Pat yet, but the The Jazz are definitely in his top 25. (His Canadian isn't too good, so they're out)

  • Copacetic Logan, UT
    June 20, 2014 12:50 p.m.

    @ Well...

    It's dry, playful sarcasm. Nothing more, nothing less.
    People either get it or they don't.
    Either way, it's something hard to explain.

    Neither the author nor the Jazz are making a push to get LeBron (or Durant) here... perfect fit or not.
    It shouldn't be that difficult to understand that this article was simply written for its entertainment value. That's all.
    If you really want James in Arizona, then write your own SERIOUS letter... not a spoof. Good luck with it.

  • Well.... Phoenix, AZ
    June 20, 2014 12:16 p.m.

    Hm. Some see more humor in this than I do. Starting off with the world's cheesiest, eye-rolling and frankly stupid pickup line seems like The Daily Universe or Chrony, for one thing. Anyway, three points: 1) It's written as a straight-up piece, not satire; would someone please explain just why this article is actually FUNNY? 2) If LeBron's going anywhere, he'll fit in with the SUNS much better than the Jazz, and win trophies much sooner. Assuming he can stay out of the summer heat, wink, wink. 3) If the DesNews must dream about bringing in a top-of-the-line proven can't-miss veteran superstar prospect who'd not only fit right in but change the fortunes of the franchise overnight, Nate Gagon just dissed the wrong guy. The Jazz want Kevin Durant, not King James. As in NOW. Only a dream, but Kevin's the ideal fit for Utah. Nate, look forward to your rewrite.

  • 71-39 Alpine, UT
    June 20, 2014 11:55 a.m.

    @ Brave Sir robin:

    Are there really some readers out there so slow that they can't see and understand the obvious humor element in this totally sarcastic article?
    This article wins my very coveted "Funniest Article of the Week Award". Well done.
    A commenter on this board wins my Slowest Reader of the Month Award... But I'm not going to name names.

  • Teakwood Wilsonville, Oregon
    June 20, 2014 11:35 a.m.

    This wasn't funny, it was ridiculous. Just remember the "King" stomping off after being beaten by the lowly JAZZ. Or remember him on the bench with a quick CU of his bloodshot eyes game 4 of the finals. Or remember his big celebration leaving Cleveland. "King" ha!

  • There You Go Again Saint George, UT
    June 20, 2014 11:22 a.m.


    Veiled as well as not-so-veiled sarcasm.


  • Picardy Provo, UT
    June 20, 2014 9:04 a.m.

    Great comic relief! I loved this wonderfully playful humor. Those that didn't get it need to reread the article! Whining? Begging? Hardly! But thank you for adding to the humor of the piece. It is hilarious to think that there are people out there who would contort such a whimsical article into a reason for dopey disdain! Life is short. Go take a walk. Go to the zoo. Go buy a dog. Go write a funnier letter to Lebron (if you can)!

  • nhatch82 Eagle Mountain, UT
    June 20, 2014 8:50 a.m.

    @Truth in all its forms

    "We shouldn't beg for a player. We should build a solid team and have a decent coach that is what wins championships."

    how has that worked for us? I definitely wouldn't want the best player in the world to come play for the jazz! lets keep signing boozers and memos and lose in the first round of the playoffs.

  • thebigsamoan Richmond, VA
    June 20, 2014 7:25 a.m.

    I thought this was hilarious but I guess some folks just don't have a sense of humor! Most likely LeBron will never ever consider coming to Utah but I still enjoyed the article and laughed so hard it made my stomach hurt. And btw, I too would welcome such news if it ever happen. I think it'd be great for the Jazz. And no, the Jazz are not being whiny at all, but are indeed very needy of such talents as King James.

    As per the cheap shot about Coach Mendenhall begging the Big 12, I don't recall him ever doing that other than expressing a very personal opinion about BYU joining the Big 12, nothing more!

  • truth in all its forms henderson, NV
    June 19, 2014 11:48 p.m.

    Come on Deseret news you're better than this. We shouldn't beg for a player. We should build a solid team and have a decent coach that is what wins championships.

  • samuel h wiscomb Sun Lakes, AZ
    June 19, 2014 10:34 p.m.

    good humor. BUT King James' ego is TOO big for any team. Let him play into retirement in someone else's city.

  • I<3tennis Sandy, UT
    June 19, 2014 5:00 p.m.

    This was a masterpiece!!! I haven't laughed so hard in a long time! LOVED IT!

  • Hamath Omaha, NE
    June 19, 2014 3:49 p.m.

    I needed a good laugh. Thanks!

  • DresdenBalla Germany, 00
    June 19, 2014 3:32 p.m.

    I agree with BlameItOnTheOfficials! Leave the endless Utah/BYU stuff out of other subjects. This may be the funniest sports article I have ever read.

  • Dustin Idaho Falls, ID
    June 19, 2014 3:14 p.m.

    Can we afford to pay him $35 million per year? Would that attract him?

  • BlameItOnTheOfficials Cottonwood Heights, UT
    June 19, 2014 2:57 p.m.

    Brave Sir..

    Please don't bring the Utah/BYU rivalry into a forum about the Jazz. That would be classless.

    I loved this piece. It was a bright spot in my day and has left me smiling. And if my the strangest of odds, LeBron did ever join the Jazz, I wouldn't be sorry at all.

  • Kaladin Northern, CO
    June 19, 2014 2:19 p.m.

    Sir Robin - lighten up. This was a jovial piece that I laughed all through. This isn't whining, it's playing. Bronco wasn't whining, he was making a pitch. Smile, breathe, and enjoy the ride.

    June 19, 2014 1:31 p.m.

    As much as people don't like him, if he was on a team you supported you would cheer for him. I kinda feel that if players want to truly be the best, they should go to teams that struggle or smaller markets and prove you can win anywhere.

  • EJM Herriman, UT
    June 19, 2014 1:17 p.m.


  • rvalens2 Burley, ID
    June 19, 2014 12:54 p.m.

    It's not going to happen and I'm not so sure I would want it to.