Matthew Sanders: 10,000 whispers and the immeasurable economics of motherhood

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  • let's roll LEHI, UT
    May 7, 2014 8:55 p.m.

    @ The Scientist

    Respectfully, I think the blunt instrument in the room is the utilitarian approach to parenthood. I'm sure many mothers (and fathers) could farm out many aspects of raising children to someone who might be more "qualified" but choosing to do it themselves is central to what makes the bond between parent and child so strong.

    My mom had lots of weaknesses. Her honesty about them and their consequences made me love her more and was a major factor in my ability to avoid the vast majority of those same weaknesses (I have my own which I've been honest about with my children, hoping to follow the pattern).

    I believe my bond with my mother would not be as strong as it is if she had elected to outsource those things she didn't feel she was "qualified" to do. I know my bond with my children would be weaker if I had done the same.

  • marxist Salt Lake City, UT
    May 7, 2014 4:02 p.m.

    Here's the problem in a market dominant society: one can only protect herself or himself with income earned in the market. Without such, one is vulnerable on a host of fronts. If one chooses to parent primarily, male of female, they must be protected in their own person. If we are serious about serious parenting then we should adopt something like Tobin's guaranteed annual income.

    If one wants to parent mostly or exclusively, they need autonomy and protection. Are we serious about this or not?

  • Let it Go! Omaha, NE
    May 7, 2014 1:43 p.m.

    While it is true that people have different strengths, and in this case some women being terrible at being a mom, it is very possible to change. Everyone says that "you don't need to be perfect, just stay who you are." But that sets off valuable time to make the necessary changes that you need to "be perfect, even as your Heavenly Father, who is in heaven, is perfect."

    That is our goal here on earth: to willingly choose to do God's will and make any necessary changes in our lives to help him "bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man." And if that means that your life will be uncomfortable for "your four minutes," you have the rest of eternity to have real fun!

    By the way, Happy Mother's Day! Thank you, mothers everywhere, who are changing lives for the better.

  • The Scientist Provo, UT
    May 7, 2014 11:41 a.m.

    "In every study of which I am aware, the mother-child parental relationship is paramount in a child’s development."

    The analyses being conducted in this arena seem to be using blunt instruments. Yes, it is true that the mother-child relationship is "paramount". But that is not just true for the positive attributes humans develop; it is also true regarding the prejudices, paranoias, and problematic perspectives many people have that are downright dysfunctional.

    Different people have different strengths. Not every woman makes a "good" mother, just as not every man makes a "good" father. Some children would have been much better off if their "less competent" mother had put them in the care of someone else and gone off to work. Other children would have been better off if their mothers would have had the luxury of coming home from the workplace.

    But few studies go beyond generalizations, vague stereotypes, and averaging analysis techniques that reduce individual differences to mathematical abstractions.

    I am thankful for a mother who was wise enough to know her strengths and weaknesses and did not try to do what others could do better than her.

  • Incite Full Layton, UT
    May 7, 2014 8:56 a.m.

    Mothers contributions are immeasurable, and now here's a lot of statistical measures...

  • gmlewis Houston, TX
    May 7, 2014 8:41 a.m.

    I think that I will send this article to my wife, in place of the traditional Mother's Day card. It is much better than the standard Hallmark Card message. My mother has passed into the Spirit World, but hopefully she was "reading over my shoulder."