Linda & Richard Eyre: One trend toward commitment to family and marriage

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  • raybies Layton, UT
    March 24, 2014 7:05 a.m.

    I have a daughter who was born with a "YPO" mentality. She is very driven, focused on herself--but in very organized and healthy ways. She takes care of her health, nutrition, social life, school work, and has always been one to get what she wants from the men in her life. She loves cooking and doing what it takes to have a neat and orderly dwelling space. And she loves children.

    I used to think these were cultural things we taught children, but she's changed my whole way of thinking about such things--because our home is quite disorderly and not nearly as focused as she is.

    I anticipate when the time comes she will find someone that will suit her needs quite well, as she plans to care for her family. I used to worry about her, because she tends to be the sort that uses people to get what she wants. Sure they always volunteer, because she can turn on the charm, but still... It's nice to hear that given the right direction she may have a happy life together with her family.

  • slcdenizen t-ville, UT
    March 20, 2014 12:02 p.m.

    Nothing beats entering life miles ahead of others in the race and scolding those who have lagged behind. I was born into a stable family with a healthy mind and body. How repulsive would I feel by scolding those born into different circumstances for not adhering to my idealistic path for happiness. Shame is apparently a luxury, unlike the decision to marry.

  • Ranch Here, UT
    March 20, 2014 6:33 a.m.

    LGBT couples are trying to 'prioritize marriage' and you two, Richard and Linda are opposing it.

    I see something wrong with that picture.

  • nycut New York, NY
    March 20, 2014 6:10 a.m.

    Yes, money smooths out a lot of rough edges doesn't it?

    Of course relationships are more stressed when resources -- money, time, energy-- are strained.

    This column often contributes to the relentless focus on materialistic measures of wealth, and foolishly follows the tendency to credit "successful" people with greater moral strength.

  • Suburbs of SLC Cottonwood Heights, UT
    March 19, 2014 7:57 p.m.

    I don't know, something about this article made me uncomfortable. It's great that these wealthy people are prioritizing their relationships and their families; it's great that they are choosing this over other, more selfish ways they could be spending their time and money. But if this is true, that more wealth and better education equals stronger marriages, then this to me is a clarion call for the type of progressive policies consistently opposed by 'family values' voters: access to sex education and contraceptives, so you don't become a parent before it's economically feasible; more funding for every level of education, from universal preK access to affordable university tuition; paid family leave; access to health insurance. These are the things the people in this article have access to, which is unquestionably a huge factor in what gives them the time to be good parents.

  • Suburbs of SLC Cottonwood Heights, UT
    March 19, 2014 7:56 p.m.

    Right, but to what extent are these couples more successful in their marriages simply because they have the time and resources to be better parents? I think there is a very unfortunate insinuation in the conclusion - "the better-educated, higher-income segment of society that sets patterns and starts trends that are then followed by more and more of the population" - that seems to suggest that the poor, the lower-educated, those who are more likely to be single parents, are avoiding marriage and being bad parents because it hasn't occurred to them yet that being a good parent can be 'trendy,' but now that rich people are doing it, maybe they will too.

  • Scott H Ogden, UT
    March 19, 2014 2:58 p.m.

    Perhaps the marriages of these upwardly mobile couples will become a status symbol that others will seek to achieve for themselves. Or maybe that's already the case. The Eyres have previously noted that marriage is still considered the ideal that most people want to achieve and that most people eventually still end up marrying at some point. It's just that couples once married at the outset of adulthood while couples now tend to marry to show that they have arrived at some state of stable adulthood. I don't know if the marriages of the high end couples will alter that trend.

  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    March 19, 2014 2:08 p.m.

    @Opinionated 9:39 a.m. March 19, 2014

    RE: Furry1993
    Oh please. Why do you post to a story about marriage? Legal recognition will be trumped by God's law every time. Supporters of "Same-sex marriage" must deny the existence of a God and any kind of plan for the perpetuation of the human family. The human family exists because men and women get together. That's the plan. End of story.


    I post to a story about marriage because I'm talking about the very real marriages same-sex couples have created for themseves, sometimes over decades together. They finally are getting the legal recognition for the family (with their children) they have de facto had for years. It's sad that people can't see that fact.

  • Semi-Strong Louisville, KY
    March 19, 2014 1:16 p.m.


    Marriage is, essentially, a recognized and sanctioned sexual union.

    If, historically, large numbers of men and women had wanted to live together in platonic relationships we would have developed another category for that.

  • Schnee Salt Lake City, UT
    March 19, 2014 12:50 p.m.

    "Supporters of "Same-sex marriage" must deny the existence of a God and any kind of plan for the perpetuation of the human family."

    Is marriage all about sex to you people? That's all you seem to think defines a marriage.

  • gmlewis Houston, TX
    March 19, 2014 10:46 a.m.

    I began to feel uneasy when the authors suggested that these young couples enjoyed successful marriages and children because they were smarter than average, measured by economic success.

    It is more likely that they achieved economic success because they had the foundation of a successful marriage and family. In that case, it would be better to say that they were wiser than average, not smarter.

  • Tyler D Meridian, ID
    March 19, 2014 9:50 a.m.

    “They are working at their relationships because they have concluded that relationships are what matter and what will make them happy.”

    This and the sentence preceding it were my favorite in the article because, and perhaps unintentionally, it points to a new (well, not so new actually) foundation for ethics based on happiness and human flourishing.

    People in the developed world are giving up the old thyme religions in droves and this trend is not likely to reverse anytime soon. And while there is much that is positive about this trend (reason supplanting superstition, for one), the success of the 3000 year marketing campaign to convince people that religion is synonymous with morality has left many people in the modern world floundering for objective morality when they can no longer believe the myths (a sad and unnecessary situation when we consider that it is our own moral intuitions that tell us, for example, what is good in the Bible vs. what is deplorable – e.g., stoning your children for talking back).

    Thank you for helping people to recognize the moral intuitions at the core of our deepest selves.

  • Opinionated Sandy, UT
    March 19, 2014 9:39 a.m.

    RE: Furry1993
    Oh please. Why do you post to a story about marriage? Legal recognition will be trumped by God's law every time. Supporters of "Same-sex marriage" must deny the existence of a God and any kind of plan for the perpetuation of the human family. The human family exists because men and women get together. That's the plan. End of story.

  • Furry1993 Ogden, UT
    March 19, 2014 7:14 a.m.

    Love, commitment and devotion (and excellent parenting of their children) can also be found in the many, many, many same-sex couples who have been togther for decades. They are finally starting to be able to obtain legal recognition for their families. It's good to see that starting to happen.

  • dr.bridell mclean, VA
    March 18, 2014 8:19 p.m.

    I guess the reason this article resonates with me is that I think marriage--real, unconditional commitment marriage--gives so much security.....its just the smartest thing to do and the smartest way to live. I love that it is the smarter, more educated portions of the population that are embracing marriage, and I too hope they will be trend setters and that the marriage commitment idea will become a trend and an example that the rest of the population follows.

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    March 18, 2014 5:00 p.m.

    When it's more than a conclusion, it's a commitment. When you give your word to love, honor, cherish watch out for each other. How big of a lie r does divorce make us.