Ask Angela: The tattoo I never want my parents to see

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  • Mormon Book Worm ----------, UT
    April 20, 2014 6:00 p.m.

    I find most of these comments offensive to SOME people. Just saying. Maybe start to NOT fight and actually provide helpful insight to the post...? Some people have different stands. The word STANDARD means: principles of conduct informed by notions of honor and decency. Some people have different opinions and standards than you. "Defend your beliefs with courtesy and compassion but defend them." Was anyone listening to conference and knows who said that quote? Jeffery R Holland. We must defend our standards, but kindly. As for the tattoo thing; people make mistakes, and to get help just tell your parents. Are you regretting the tattoo? Why get one when you think you know how they would react?

    Best wishes. Sorry I don't really know what to say.

  • jarka-rus Layton, Utah
    Feb. 27, 2014 3:59 p.m.

    Its always interesting how discussions like this always turn out in the vilifying of those who stand for what's right and the doctrine that has been revealed to us from Heaven. If so your being judgmental, unchristlike etc etc. Yes the Lord is merciful and will judge with perfect justice, but he still cannot look on sin with the least degree of allowance. Whether you think it doesn't matter to disfigure our mortal bodies or not, the truth will still stand to judge us one day.

  • jarka-rus Layton, Utah
    Feb. 27, 2014 3:52 p.m.

    Did you wear a long sleeve shirt to your interview?

  • RDJntx Austin, TX
    Feb. 27, 2014 3:28 p.m.

    The Church's postion on a lot of things stems less from what GOD wants than from public perception of the behavior. Multiple ear peircings, tattoos, mustache's and Beards, missionary standards of dress have all been discouraged and or defined by how the public perceives the activity. When I was active in the church I had a mustache after my mission. I was told I could not go out with the missionaries or the seventies on splits so long as I had it. Mustache's were seen as a sign of rebellion. Tattoos and multiple ear piercings have consequences in the workplace and the rest of society that many young people don't think about before getting them, Ergo I think the church discourages them.

    Personally I have no issues with tattoos, I have wanted on for years, but I have yet to find something really meaningful enough to get one. I have no issues with them if they have real meaning to the person and are tasteful. I have no issues with my daughter getting one under the same conditions. So the reaon behind getting a tattoo is just as important as the tattoo itself IMHO.

  • sharrona layton, UT
    Feb. 26, 2014 9:20 a.m.

    @Utefan4Lyf,“everybody should remember one thing: Matthew 7: 1-3, True,
    In Mt 7:3-5, Jesus spoke against hypocritical judging, which often comes from judging by one’s own opinions.

    (John 7:24) Judge not according to the appearance[tattoos], but judge righteous judgment. or judge according to the truth and ”*evidence.” i.e..

    The LORD said “no” Tattoos or body piercing. (*Lev 19:28 NLT)

    RE: Crimendelsiglo (Tattoos) are not offensive, except to those(The LORD) who take offense. True, See above,”*evidence.”

    RE: Niners, they feel like they can judge others.
    Not that which goes into the mouth defiles a man; but that which comes out of the mouth, this defiles a man.(Mt 15:11):
    John 2:1-11, Jesus turns water into wine =(oinos) not wine into water. In Mt 11:19. He was accused of drinking wine, and Mt 9:17,implies fermentation.

    Wine (gleukos)denotes “sweet” new wine. Acts 2:13 where the accusation shows that it was intoxicant. Today Jesus would be Judged not Temple worthy.

  • DocHolliday reno, NV
    Feb. 25, 2014 12:48 p.m.


    I don't even have tattoos! I think they are ugly. I defend other peoples rights to have them if they want them and feel good about them. It isn't your place to call them unworthy of entering the temple because of them - that is between them and the bishop and god.

  • crimendelsiglo Spanish Fork, UT
    Feb. 25, 2014 12:16 p.m.

    i forgot to mention i am a veil worker at the Provo Temple. the question abt tattoos was never raised when i was interviewed; i innocently did not even think of it myself to volunteer.

  • crimendelsiglo Spanish Fork, UT
    Feb. 25, 2014 12:13 p.m.

    i'm 70; i have 6 tats: each forearm, each shoulder, left chest and across my back. they were done many many yrs ago. active LDS with temple recommend.

    took me many years to make the decision to have them done. i don't think i need to repent of them; i'm not ashamed of them. i would not add more. they are not offensive, except to those who take offense

    HF will deal with me in His way

    they are none of your business; they do not affect you (or my parents.) we each will deal with our own issues and not those of other people.

    stick to the subject: she asked, what is the best way to handle the situation NOW that a vacation is coming up

    i've grown to appreciate Angela's advise

  • Machado South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 25, 2014 6:15 a.m.

    Last post (DNews rules).

    I find it interesting how many use the failings and weaknesses of others to rationalize your own behavior. Yes, you will find people who eat too much meat or drink too much soda. And you can certainly look around your own families, friends, neighbors, and church associates and find far more egregious failings than those. But are those people really the standard for your behavior? Is that all you aspire to be? I thought Christ was supposed to be our exemplar.

    It is easy to take a conglomerate of the weaknesses of others and, before you know it, you have accepted all of them yourself and become weaker than any of them individually.
    "Dad swears."
    "My brother lives on video games."
    "The bishop is fat."
    "My buddy smokes."

    If you accept all those as excuses for you own behavior, you will soon find yourself to be a smoking, swearing, fat, video game king.

    If you must pattern yourself after others, take their strengths instead of their weaknesses.

    Excusing your tattoo because someone else has one and is still "temple worthy" is cowardice. Own your own choices.

  • niners SAINT GEORGE, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:27 p.m.


    reno, NV

    Machado -

    I don't why people like getting their ears pierced... so what. Do I care if they do it?
    I don't get why people like to golf, seriously I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to buy expensive cars. seriously I just don't get it
    I don't get why people drink soda and are out of shape and obese but still claim they obey the word of wisdom, seriously, I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to go to lagoon. Seriously, I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to worry about what other people do to their bodies. Seriously, I just don't get it.

    Best comment on this board! When I was Mormon both of the bishops counselors were, to put it nicely, "obese" which clearly shows disobeying the word of wisdom, and is extremely unhealthy, yet somehow by picking and choosing which sins are worse, they feel like they can judge others. Also I have temple attending family members who eat meat nearly every night. No big deal though..

  • niners SAINT GEORGE, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:04 p.m.

    I can't believe how judgmental people can be. I am in the military and I got a quote tattooed that truly expresses who I am and what I want to become. Everytime I read that quote it motivates me during the rigorous training I have to go through and it reminds me of who I am when am tired and want to quit. There are so many reasons to get tattoos, some tattoos express what people feel are just a part of who they are. Some of you just see a "rebellious act" or a "temporary feeling" for some reason, when in reality, most tattoos are never even seen (like mine). Tattoos have real meaning to a lot of people that get them, and just because you don't have any clue what that tattoo means to a person, doesn't mean its a "rebellious act".

  • Utefan4Lyf West Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:00 p.m.


    So, "only cheap cars have them." Interesting. I have a bachelors degree, an MBA, am a devout Catholic and a devout family man. I also have numerous tattoos. I read this article as a cry for help from a woman who wanted to tell her parents about a choice she made, fearful of a reaction like most I have read on this board today. How does anybody claim to be a Christian and judge the way I have read? Especially about a little ink on a person's body. Perhaps everybody should remember one thing: Matthew 7: 1-3.

  • sharrona layton, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 8:16 p.m.

    RE: DocHolliday “It doesn't harm you or affect you in any way?”
    A couple of questions for the Tattooed”. ...Will I cause a weaker brother to stumble because of my tattoo? Is a Tattoo glorifying to God?

    The LORD=(Jehovah) commands “no” Tattoos or body piercing. (Lev 19:28, NLT).

    Christians should honor Christ in their hearts and bodies they don’t plaster graffiti on His sacred temple. 1Cor 6: 19-20.

    .. give your bodies to God. Let them be a living sacrifice, holy—the kind he can accept. When you think of what he has done for Christians, is this too much to ask? Romans 12:1 LB.

    Christians need to remember they have been redeemed from Mortal and Spiritual death, and belong to God.

    Laser removal is one option

  • LovelyDeseret Gilbert, AZ
    Feb. 24, 2014 7:19 p.m.

    Explain to your parents that tattoos are like bumper stickers. Only people with cheap cars have them.

  • ironmania San Diego, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 4:47 p.m.

    To 1.96 Standard Deviations:

    You make an important point, that sustaining the Brethren as Prophets is a temple recommend question, and you suggest that anyone who is not following each and every point of counsel from the Brethren should not be worthy to hold a temple recommend.

    The Brethren have consistently and unmistakenly counseled against incurring excessive debt. President Hinckley was adamant in warning of the dangers of getting into debt. So, by your logic, any member of the Church who (aware the Prophet's warning) ran up a credit card debt should consider himself unworthy of a temple recommend?

  • DocHolliday reno, NV
    Feb. 24, 2014 4:43 p.m.

    Machado -

    I don't why people like getting their ears pierced... so what. Do I care if they do it?
    I don't get why people like to golf, seriously I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to buy expensive cars. seriously I just don't get it
    I don't get why people drink soda and are out of shape and obese but still claim they obey the word of wisdom, seriously, I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to go to lagoon. Seriously, I just don't get it.
    I don't get why people like to worry about what other people do to their bodies. Seriously, I just don't get it.

    I could do this all day. People have different reasons for what they like. If you don't like it, don't do it. It doesn't harm you or affect you in any way.

  • Leo Femedlers El Paso, TX
    Feb. 24, 2014 4:36 p.m.


    If I read your last post correctly, "was" a member may mean that you no longer are. If so, I'm sorry about that. You mentioned counsel about tattoos, multiple piercings, R Rated movies couldn't be taken seriously. I disagree. My understanding of prophets and their role is quite different. You may remember the verse I mentioned in my first post about the people of Ammonihah not receiving the words of Alma (a prophet). His words were not received because their hearts were hardened. They were spiritually desensitized to the point that they could not recognize or accept truth. There is much in the world today that can cause this. As members of Christ's church we have the privilege and blessing to have individuals who can see what is coming before it hits us. If we follow their counsel we will be safe. If we do not we are left unto ourselves. I wish you all the best.

  • Machado South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 3:40 p.m.

    Ian: You may be comfortable passing judgment on posted comments (I find that ironic) and you may or may not have included my comments in your rebuke. However, I'm not trying to pass judgment. I'm just trying to find our what is the allure of a tattoo. Seriously, I just don't get it.

    Is pleasing our friends, or creating a certain "image," or even doing just what we want to do really so important that we would put aside our most precious relationships with our family and, if one is religious, with God? And, if something as insignificant as a tattoo is that important, what other things will we choose over family and God?

  • ? SLC, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 3:39 p.m.

    To those using Al Fox Carrington as an example of someone having tattoos and also living the gospel should remember she had these tattoos before she joined the church. For anybody else who has heard the prophetic counsel against tattoos ought to consider they are willfully disregarding counsel given to us. If the Lord can’t trust us on the small things, how can He trust us on greater things? No, we shouldn't judge others, the person getting a tattoo nor the parents or spouses who feel they have been betrayed. Yes, we have our agency to choose and there is the gift of repentance, but we should also remember at what cost this gift was given to us. A cautionary note, a tattoo can affect missionary service and a promise made by President Hinckley that one day you will regret getting them.

  • 1.96 Standard Deviations OREM, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 3:35 p.m.


    Another thought:

    The "tattooed Mormon girl" got tattoos before she was converted to the gospel. Her situation is very different compared to someone else who has been already been church member for a while, is well aware of the church's doctrine against tattoos, but gets a tattoo anyway. That is the important thing about not judging -- the tatooed mormon girl wasn't always a member and was taught the gospel after she got the tattoos!

    Also, the church's "True to the Faith" manual states the following regarding tattoos:

    "If you have a tattoo, you wear a constant reminder of a mistake you have made. You might consider having it removed."

    There is no room for tattoos for LDS church members who are aware of the doctrine. I recognize we cannot always righteously judge someone's circumstances or reasons for getting a tattoo (being non-member even a church member), so we need to be merciful. However, the church's doctrine against tattoos is crystal clear.

  • 1.96 Standard Deviations OREM, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 3:16 p.m.


    You stated, "I figured that as long as there are no temple recommend questions asking about tattoos, then I would get one and could still remain worthy to enter the temple."

    This kind of attitude is very worrisome. We are to live in the world but not of the world.

    Tattoos are actually covered in the temple recommend questions as well. The tattoo question in the form of (paraphrasing) "Do you sustain the general authorities as prophets, seers, and revelators?" How can you sustain the Brethren while simultaneously rejecting their counsel?

    Here are some examples:

    President Monson, April 2010 conference, "Preparation Brings Blessings" -- "Avoid extremes in clothing and appearance, including tattoos and piercings."

    President Hinckley, April 2007 conference, "I am Clean" -- "Do not permit yourself to be tattooed."

    Elder/President Packer, April 2009 conference, "Counsel to Young Men" -- "[...] Do not decorate your body with tattoos or by piercing it to add jewels. Stay away from that."

    For the Strength of Youth - "[...] Do not disfigure yourself with tattoos or body piercings."

    Someone knowingly rejecting the Brethren's counsel on tattoos, yet professing to a bishop or bishop's counselor in a recommend interview that he/she sustains the Brethren, is very troubling.

  • Brahmabull sandy, ut
    Feb. 24, 2014 2:42 p.m.

    Leo Femedlers

    I understand fully what prophets are supposed to be. I was a member for 28 years, grew up in the church, went on a mission. I just don't get how one could take council of not getting tattoos, more then one ear piercing, or watching rated R movies seriously. You think those without tattoos are more spiritually and temporally safe then those with tattoos? Same thing with multiple piercings. If you can still do those things and get a temple recommend then what is the big deal. The bad thing with this council is that certain members start to not only make the decision for themselves whether or not to do these things, but start to judge those who choose different then them. This is a huge problem that will never be solved as long as 'prophets' give advice that has no doctrinal bearing or any affect on whether or not somebody can get to heaven. Why avoid getting a tattoo or multiple piercings if you can still get to heaven just the same with them? Makes no sense.

  • San Diego Chargers Fan San Diego, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 2:12 p.m.

    I would recommend talking to her parents before the vacation. I was considering getting a tattoo a while ago, but decided to "test the waters" with my ultra religious in-laws before I did it. I sent an email telling my in-laws I was considering a tattoo, and all Hades Fire broke loose after that. I had to quickly tell everyone it was a practical joke, just to stop all the impassioned phone calls and emails pleading for me to reconsider.

    When I finally did get the tattoo, I kept it a secret. I guess I will either need to tell them before the next swimming-related vacation, or just wear a shirt the whole time.

  • Leo Femedlers El Paso, TX
    Feb. 24, 2014 2:00 p.m.


    To understand what a prophet is and does one must first believe that there are prophets. And there is a spectrum of belief and non belief. I have found that the words of prophets past and present are essential to spiritual and temporal safety. Faith in their words is a key element of subsequent obedience to their words. Unless there is faith, obedience rarely follows. Which is what my original point considered. The seed that is never planted will never bear fruit. What matters in the end is what you know and how well you lived up to that knowledge.

  • Ian Heber City, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 1:50 p.m.

    Man, these comments make me ashamed as a latter day saint. The question wasn't "I got a tattoo help me" or "do you think I should have gotten a tattoo", but rather how do I tell my parents about it. The majority of the comments on here are simply passing judgement. Why don't you check yourselves before passing judgement on a person who simply got a tattoo?
    It's frustrating to be surrounded by people who worry about watching glee or survivor because it's not righteous and chases away the spirit and then are selfish and judgemental, but that doesn't seem to bother them at all. The main thing is that they don't have a tattoo or drink coffee etc!
    The Gospel is still true though...I believe in the tentants of the Gospel, but I sure would love to change the culture as it is hurtful.

  • ironmania San Diego, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 1:47 p.m.

    We all need to respect the decisions of those we love. I got a tattoo a few weeks ago. I was inspired by the woman who calls herself "the tattooed Mormon." I figured that as long as there are no temple recommend questions asking about tattoos, then I would get one and could still remain worthy to enter the temple.

    Since getting my tattoo, I have been to the temple several times, and have not regretted my decision.

  • push-n-day-zees Salt Lake, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 1:26 p.m.

    My husband of seventeen years decided to give himself a father's day present and got a tattoo without telling me. He was 64. When I noticed the blood on his shirt he said it was a zit and he didn't want me to look at it. He had given little hints, like when I said look at that motorcycle and he went on to tell me who it belonged to and he was a famous tattoo artist. Like I cared! I felt betrayed by the lie and the deceit. His only explanation was that he'd always wanted one. Had he already had one before we got married, I could have accepted it better. To do it behind my back was hurtful, even if he is an adult. It was a stupid thing to do.

  • Rikitikitavi Cardston, Alberta
    Feb. 24, 2014 1:05 p.m.

    I try not to judge. Usually I can avoid over-reacting. However if someone is considering a tattoo the following scripture should be considered: 1Cor 19-20: your body is the temple of the Holy are not your own. Ye are bought with a price, therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit which are God's.

  • sharrona layton, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 12:58 p.m.

    RE:116 Alecias Wayc, “ does not mean we are heathens because of those choices”?

    "Do not cut your bodies for the dead, and do not mark your skin with tattoos. I am the LORD=(Jehovah)." Leviticus 19:28.(NLT)

    Leviticus, and the surrounding text, is specifically dealing with the pagan religious rituals of the people living around the Israelites. God’s desire is to set his people apart from other cultures. The focus here is prohibiting worldly, heathen worship and witchcraft. God forbids his holy people to engage in idolatrous, pagan worship and sorcery which imitates the heathens. He does this out of protection, because he knows this will lead them away from the one true God.

    The N.T. does not command against tattoos or body piercings, but it also does not give us any reason to believe God would have us get tattoos or body piercings.

    Romans 14:23 says that anything that does not come from faith is sin. Christians need to remember that their bodies, as well as their souls, have been redeemed and belong to God.

  • JoeBlow Far East USA, SC
    Feb. 24, 2014 12:34 p.m.

    There are lots of reasons to NOT get a tattoo.

    But I would not consider "council from my church leaders" as one of them.

  • sisucas San Bernardino, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 12:26 p.m.

    If your parents freak out then they are the ones with the problem. I'm not a fan of tattoos at all, and I would never think about getting one, but what good does it do to get upset with you? This may be a good opportunity for them to know you better, and for them to learn how to deal with your own adulthood and personal agency. Write them a letter and tell them first why you are so afraid for them to know, and then let them know. At least the dust will settle before your trip, and it will hopefully improve your relationship with them. If you're that scared of them then tattoos are the least of your worries.

  • Shane333 Cedar Hills, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 12:08 p.m.

    This is one of those topics that will be heavily influenced by one's background and beliefs.

    To LDS members and many other Christian denominations, tattoos are generally seen as graffiti on the body. The LDS First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve have declared that they discourage tattoos and multiple body piercings besides one set of pierced ears for women.

    This doesn't mean that getting a tattoo condemns one to Hell. That isn't the intention of the counsel. The counsel it there to help us make spiritually healthy decisions including how we treat our spirit's earthly tabernacle.

    And we should still love others even if we disagree with a decision they make. Loving someone doesn't mean that we have to agree with their decisions, and disagreeing with a decision or lifestyle doesn't mean that we hate someone.

  • Machado South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 11:30 a.m.

    BrahmaBull: My point wasn't limited to people who think their body is a temple. In the Navy, I never understood the allure of getting a tattoo in a foreign port. I understand there was peer pressure but that's a pretty weak excuse.

    I understand that, for some (like many Polynesians), tattoos have cultural significance. That satisfies my curiosity about them.

    However, I have yet to see the tattoo that makes someone more attractive. Most people I know who have a tattoo got it as a form of conformance (everybody else has one so I'll follow along) or a sign of rebellion against the people who love them the most (such as parents or church leaders).

    Granted, this is not a scientific analysis. My anecdotal data comes from conversations with family and friends who now sport tattoos. Most have outgrown their immaturity and have some measure of regret. Some now have children and wonder how they will rationalize it to their children without seeming hypocritical when they try to teach them later. Almost all of them are a bit embarrassed that they fell in with popular culture instead of considering all the ramifications.

  • Just one more opinion Pleasant Grove, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 11:18 a.m.

    Well, now that the deed is done and the tat isn't going anywhere, I'd say tell them the sooner the better. I'd also suggest that if she does have faith to pray that the Lord will soften her parent's hearts and that she'll have courage plus the patience to say what would help defuse a potentially ugly situation.

  • Brahmabull sandy, ut
    Feb. 24, 2014 11:00 a.m.

    Leo Femedlers

    Somebody having a tattoo is the least of the worries of our society. Also, prophets tend to give prophecies... when is the last time a mormon church president has given a prophecy? I believe the prophets have given many other councils such as no rated r movies, no multiple ear piercings, etc. Do you really think it is a sin to get a tattoo or have multiple piercings? Does god really disapprove of 3 piercings but is ok with one? I doubt any of these things will matter in the end.

  • Random Redlands, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:43 a.m.

    Funny story about my sister's tattoo. My mom wasn't very happy about it, but hey, my sister was an adult and chose to do it. A while later, she's in a wedding and the photographer got a shot of all the bridesmaids, and my sister's tattoo showed in a fairly obvious spot. Then, the picture hung in a department store. Somebody came into the store my mom managed and started to degrade the picture, saying that ugly tattoo ruined the whole picture, it looked awful, who would let their child do that, and on and on. My mom finally got a word in, told the longtime customer that it was her daughter, of whom she was proud, and the tattoo didn't ruin their relationship at all.
    At that point, I think my mom realized what she said was true, that the tattoo didn't change anything about her daughter.

  • Leo Femedlers El Paso, TX
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:38 a.m.

    @ Vangroovin--good points, especially the one re the living prophet. I was recently reading about Alma's visit to Ammonihah. The people's hearts were hardened to the point that they would not listen to him. (Alma 8:9) It's been awhile since Pres Hinkley let the faithful know tattoos were a no no. I don't recall that direction being rescinded by the current leadership. So either he is a prophet or he isn't and we either listen to him or we don't. No grey at all.

  • Joan Watson TWIN FALLS, ID
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:25 a.m.

    No, one need not think they were/are bad parents. Sons and daughters have to answer for themselves whether they be wise or foolish, believing or rebellious.

  • Brahmabull sandy, ut
    Feb. 24, 2014 10:12 a.m.


    Probably the same thing people think when they get a nose job or breast implants. I am sure there is no solid answer that covers the thoughts of every individual who gets a tattoo. Those who don't want them don't have to get them. I have never liked the fact that there are Christians and in Utah, Mormons, who think a tattoo is such a bad thing because your body is a temple. These are often the same people who drink gallons of toxic coke or diet coke, or eat poorly, or who have other bad habits that severely affect their 'temple' (body). What one sees as defiling the body, one sees as not defiling. Nobody is perfect. She should just tell her parents and let the chips fall where they may. If she is an adult, she should be able to do as she pleases with no repercussions from her parents.

  • vangroovin West Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:53 a.m.

    If you are one who believes in a living prophet (or, even if you aren't), then my suggestion is to follow him. There are blessings who await those who are obedient. Laws, commandments, and the like are put in place as a protection to us. If we have made a wrong choice, then thankfully there is repentance and forgiveness when we change our heart. If we can fully repent, then we can feel the joy that comes when we are forgiven. There is no better feeling than feeling the love of God come into our hearts and feel the atonement of our Savior work for our benefit to make us clean.

  • Shane333 Cedar Hills, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:39 a.m.


    If you could do it over again, would you still get the tattoo? In the context of a temple going LDS member, will you encourage your children to get tattoos?

  • ? SLC, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:37 a.m.

    Just tell them. You cannot control how they will respond to your choice to getting a tattoo anymore than they could control you to not get one in the first place. They have a right to not agree with what you have done, but as others have said they will still love you. Are you going to love them any less just because they may be upset with you for a little while?

  • 81Ute Central, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:27 a.m.

    There is no judgement here. Simple issue, child rebels, child regrets, parents accept. End of story.

  • hamletfan8 Bentonville, AR
    Feb. 24, 2014 9:20 a.m.

    I was in a similar situation. I got a tattoo when I was 19 NOT on impulse but after a long and careful decision making process. When my mom saw my tattoo months later, she was upset but after I helped her remember that I was still very active at church, still temple worthy and still on the right path, she calmed down. Today, 14 years later, I'm married in the temple and still active at church so a tattoo is definitely not an indication someone is headed to heck in a hand basket.

    My suggestion to this person, it down with them and explain it before the trip and put the tattoo in the proper perspective for them. Hopefully they will be reasonable and move on. Good luck!

    Feb. 24, 2014 8:58 a.m.

    I have to agree to tell them before the vacation to avoid the drama during what should be a fun time. They love you. They may initially be very upset (disappointed, angry, whatever); but will come to understand that you an adult and allowed to make your own choices. It is not your job to live your life to please them.

    All that said; I am a parent of a daughter with 3 pretty cool tattoos (actually 2 are cool - one is ugly in my opinion); I'm not LDS; and I've seen how so many LDS people get really overly excited about this issue.

    I do know that parents love their children - even when they don't approve. And love finds a way.

  • Brave Sir Robin San Diego, CA
    Feb. 24, 2014 8:44 a.m.

    Tattoo: A permanent expression of a temporary feeling.

  • Utefan4Lyf West Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 8:25 a.m.

    Or, as I did, they probably think. I like tattoos. I want one with meaning to me. I really don't care what other people think as I'm not putting it on their body. I could go on, but truthfully, most people who gets tattoos do so because they want one. And that is OK. Oh, and we don't care what it will look like when we get old. By then, our skin is sagging, so why shouldn't the tattoo. It's another story in what is hopefully an excellent life.

  • Machado South Jordan, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 6:22 a.m.

    I guess I don't understand the tattoo thing. What goes on in a person's mind?

    - "I want to express my individuality ... just like everyone else."
    - "I think Chris Anderson (The Bird in the NBA) is the bomb. I want to look like him."
    - "The people who love me most advise against it but, hey, my friends think it's cool."
    - "I'm too young to be translated for perfect obedience so this will keep me safe."
    - "Everybody has a touch of rebellion now and again. This is mine."

    Seriously, what goes through the mind of "someone who knows" when they decide to get a tattoo?

  • JoeBlow Far East USA, SC
    Feb. 24, 2014 6:21 a.m.

    I really wonder how many people really, personally, "think something is bad" or they are TOLD that something is bad (by church leaders perhaps) so they accept that.

    Really, is a small butterfly tatoo on ones ankle really a big deal? How about a sleveless shirt on a woman? Or a skirt that comes just above your knee?

    I am not saying, "anything goes" but sometimes we need to lighten up a bit.

    How many people follow others "opinions" vs using their own judgement? Or let their own judgement be changed by others "opinions"?

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    Feb. 24, 2014 5:35 a.m.

    I guessing it, a girl with the tat. Some things are inevitable. Let it be known before before they find out for them self.

  • LittleStream Carson City, NV
    Feb. 24, 2014 5:32 a.m.

    This one is tough for me. I have always looked at tattoos as graffiti on your spirits temple. My adult daughter and son both have a tattoo. They are both not going to be seen in church clothing. They did the same as you, didn't tell me until after the tattoo was in place. The question I have is why you wouldn't tell your parent? Put yourself in their position, you find out your child got a tattoo and kept it from you. The problem from the parents point of view is two fold; first, they don't approve of the tattoo; second, you were not honest with them and hid it from them. Having said all this, I deeply love and respect my children. My bet is your parents will still love you too. I agree with Angela, tell the parents before the vacation, don't wait and ruin the vacation for everyone, including you.