10 things you should never say to your spouse during a fight

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  • liberate Sandy, UT
    Feb. 15, 2014 1:45 a.m.

    One thing that is not on this list but probably should be is something along the lines of "Remember when you...". My wife start doing that sometimes but she always wins because I have a horrible memory and she can remember every single detail of every hurtful thing I have done. To her credit, I've given her much more material than she has to me.

  • Brent T. Aurora CO Aurora, CO
    Feb. 14, 2014 4:34 p.m.

    Have done all 10 (as well as shades of the other six mentioned above). And we argue most every day. In our 35th happy year of marriage. But we're vocal, opinionated and honest. Not that we don't believe there are couples who never argue. That must be possible. But kind of weird and passive/boring.

    FYI is correct. Normal people argue and it's normal to argue. The important thing is the resolution.

    As to #1, we like that one. When we start to plan how that would happen it gets very complicated. We just always conclude it isn't worth the hassle. Like the Blues Brothers sang -- "it's cheaper to keep her."

  • San Diego Chargers Fan San Diego, CA
    Feb. 14, 2014 12:43 p.m.

    Husbands can avoid all of this by simply stating the following: "You are right, honey. I am and always was wrong, but now I understand and will go along with whatever you decide."

    Problem solved. Happy couple.

  • utahflyer Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 12, 2014 1:04 p.m.

    Friendly grammar correction to #4. “You are a (insert negative noun)” would be correct grammar. Either that or you could write “You are (insert negative adjective)." Just a friendly observation.

  • Ilovethejjs medford, MA
    Feb. 12, 2014 10:46 a.m.

    I hear these 10 things almost every day. After 36-years of marriage, I stopped listening to my husband. It's sad because his rage has been handed down from his parents. His brothers are the same way. The acrimony and vile words are like a rot that seeps into a family.
    I divorced him for 10 years and re-married him when he said he sought help. Now I just don't care. I think apathy is worse than hate.
    Some women tell me they are lonely because they never married and live alone. I sympathize with them but reply, "You don't have to be alone to be lonely."

  • Brave Sir Robin San Diego, CA
    Feb. 12, 2014 9:52 a.m.

    #16 "Now that you mention it, that dress does make you look kinda fat. Why don't you roll on off to the gym?"

  • 1covey Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 12, 2014 9:07 a.m.

    In front of your children: Avoid, if possible- resolution usually take time. Afterward, both parents can together explain their problem and how they resolved it without being emotionally damaging. Personally, I am beginning to think that if there is a situation where some kind of confrontation is developing, close your mouth, until you can think of a way to resolve the situation. It takes two to argue. Maybe say: "I'm sorry - let me think about it."

  • Back Talk Federal Way, WA
    Feb. 12, 2014 7:47 a.m.

    #14 that vow to be obedient was only if you acted with half a brain and / or followed all of the Lords commandments. Enough said.

    #15 are you still mad about that?

  • Bifftacular Spanish Fork, Ut
    Feb. 11, 2014 7:00 p.m.

    Other not-so-good things to say....

    #11 "If I were to die, would you let your next wife use my golf clubs?" "No, she's left-handed".
    #12 "If you'll recall, our marriage vows stated you will be a obedient wife, now would be a good time to honor that".
    #13 "Are you still talking"?

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    Feb. 11, 2014 5:38 p.m.

    All I can say is memories, haunting spirits that hurt the heart.

  • FYI Taylorsville, UT
    Feb. 11, 2014 5:33 p.m.

    "Never argue in front of your kids."
    There is nothing wrong with children seeing their parents have disagreements/arguements as long as they also see how their parents resolve those disagreements. I have seen too many young newly married couples that are concerned that they have disagreements, wondering what is wrong with their relationship because their parents "never argued." It's not the arguing that is the problem, but the way in which couples argue and resolve.

  • Gildas LOGAN, UT
    Feb. 11, 2014 4:52 p.m.

    Mother and Father didn't argue in front of us and I appreciate that. Nowadays there are more arguments between husband and wife and exponentially more divorces. I think that having a predictable role and expectation in marriage helps; there is less of that today.

    All this talk about equality: it hasn't helped to make the man always wrong instead of always right.

  • MCS Provo, UT
    Feb. 11, 2014 3:21 p.m.

    My parents are happily married and I haven't seen them fight in years, but I still remember -- more than 20 years later -- a really nasty fight they had in front of us kids. It was awful. Thinking about it still makes me feel terrible, and I don't even remember what it was about. NEVER argue in front of your kids!

  • raybies Layton, UT
    Feb. 11, 2014 2:54 p.m.

    "Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elderberries!"