Article quote: "Happiness in life is more about the DOs than the
DON'Ts."Ya know, I'm in my 40s, and I'm just now
beginning to realize this.As for the article as a whole, the author
is one wise, wise woman.Well done!!!
I can totally relate to these articles on many levels. When our boys were
young, we had a video game console. As they aged, the video games were not
replaced and slowly went out of fashion at our house. Raising boys is a lot
more difficult than I thought it would be. Media plays a big part in this. As
parents we were very strict with time wasting, and our boys put their heart into
sports instead of the pursuits of many of their peers. My boys never had
texting until the last year in high school. No T.V.'s in bedrooms, kitchen
computer, and passwords for everything. I was told all the time from our boys
that they were being raised very differently from their peers. I saw glimmers
of their differences as we were in public and they would open doors for the
elderly, or showed kindness through service to others. My boys have thanked me
several times for not letting them get hooked on video games... unlike some of
their "boring" friends who couldn't put the darn things down.
Looking back, I felt the sacrifice to be different was well worth it!
I get your point, Johnny. Maybe I didn't make it clear I never judge other
families' rules and practices-- every family is different, every child,
every parent is different. And as I said, with five boys, I'm especially
cautious. You sound like the kind of parent who is much better at monitoring.
Believe me, I'm not judging anyone, only seeking to empower parents and
families. And yes, yes, yes, Jeanie. Guilt and blame are a waste of
time. We all need help at times.
Not only is addiction about emotional emptiness, it is also about changes in the
brain that drive compulsion. Even in families like the one described in this
article there are children who are caught in the snare of addiction. It is not
due to any failings of parents or filters it is due to inherent personal
weakness and the times in which we live. Most of these kids would have no such
struggles if they lived in a different era in our history where moral danger did
not deliberately and aggressively cross their path. Yes, all the
things mentioned can help inoculate children, but if, in spite of your best
efforts, you find your child struggling don't waste time on guilt or blame,
just get help and know you are in good company.
This seems to have to do with spending time with your kids and teaching them
proper values. We have Kindles in our home but our children listen when asked
to put them down. Addiction to anything can happen, even potato guns, so
it's not accurate to blame media wholly for current trends in families and
behavior. Teaching children to put important things first and then to enjoy
free time with other pursuits is the way to go. Last week our 9 year old
didn't practice his violin. It's his responsibility to make sure
practice happens. When it didn't happen there was a consequence until he
made up the missed practice time. He spent time catching up on the missed time
and then yesterday, immediately upon entering the house, picked up his violin to
get his practice done. No reprimand or reminder was necessary yesterday. We
can all teach our children to behave correctly, help course correct when they
miss, but to point a finger at technology in general households isn't