Ask Angela: My boyfriend looked really happy with his ex on Facebook

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  • Brahmabull sandy, ut
    Nov. 21, 2013 9:45 a.m.


    Hmmmm... You are telling two grown adults that they shouldn't be going over to each others apartment until they are married??? Are you kidding me with that comment?

  • LittleStream Carson City, NV
    Nov. 21, 2013 9:36 a.m.

    Those pictures are from a different time for your boyfriend. Just as pictures of you are from a different time. If they bother you, try a novel approach and ask him about the pictures. If your relationship isn't strong enough to stand the truth, maybe it either needs work or it wasn't meant to be.

  • youmightbenutz Boise, ID
    Nov. 20, 2013 7:51 a.m.

    I've been around the block enough times to realize that life is to be lived and requires the ability to change and to let others change. It is essential that memories be allowed to fade and be replaced with new experiences and memories... The problem with Facebook is that your past drags on with you... It never dies or fades away regardless of how much you think those pictures and posts may have been deleted. When two people get married, they are to forsake all others, but that can be pretty hard to do when vivid images and memories of all the others are floating around in cyberspace. You are writing this as a person worried about your boyfriend... I have worked closely with people where this has been the wedge that ultimately tore their marriages apart. I am a parent of five kids and I have seen the impact of these things in their lives. Be careful what you post and let the past fade away.

  • antodav TAMPA, FL
    Nov. 19, 2013 3:11 p.m.

    This is why they say that Facebook destroys relationships. Also, she probably shouldn't be going over to his apartment or vice versa to spend time together alone every night before they are married. I suspect there is more going on here in this story that explains why he feels so much more "comfortable" in the relationship that he has now, even though his happiness seems to have visibly faded. Sin tends to have precisely that effect on a person.

  • Dante Salt Lake City, UT
    Nov. 19, 2013 11:34 a.m.

    Any "Facebook stalking" or obsessing over the past girlfriend can only make "Home girl" feel insecure and appear needy. Boyfriend won't want to waste their "together time" reassuring a her that he's satisfied with her and with their relationship. That feels burdensome, and detracts from the pleasant, fulfilling feelings that nourish their growing, mutual bond.

    One-on-one time "staying in" can help further conversation and the exchange of personal feelings. However, too much silent snuggling on the couch before the glowing television, especially alone in a dark apartment, can lead to regretful behavior.

    Singles who retain past relationship stuff on their Facebook pages raise questions about their personal insecurities and readiness to move on. That's as apt to repel as to attract new, emotionally healthy companions. It's flaky and immature to embellish or focus on prior relationships, thinking it enhances one's personal appeal. Clinging to dead relationships to keep a new companion off balance is manipulative. If boyfriend is smart and considerate, he'll eventually update his Facebook page without prompting. Until the relationship matures, Home girl will only diminish herself by insisting that boyfriend do so in consideration of her feelings.

  • caf Bountiful, UT
    Nov. 19, 2013 7:31 a.m.

    Maybe your boyfriend is taking a break from dating some one who is so active. It is hard to know what goes on in others heads. Angela is correct, you will make yourself miserable second guessing. Even worse, your date is likely to run fast and far if you start dwelling on his Facebook photos. Have you ever asked him what sort of things he likes to do? Is your relationship one-sided? Do you always do what you are most comfortable doing? Enjoy the relationship while you have it but be willing to let go and move on if it doesn't work out. It is not a bad thing to date people with different kinds of personalities until you find the best fit.

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    Nov. 19, 2013 6:02 a.m.

    I think you can lie only so long before you can't lie any more. and you have to me honest with your self. Who are you, is the question that we all will answer to our self. who I'm not is a lier.