Since the feminist movement became such a big thing, many women have ceased to
treat men as though they were anything special, or relevant in their lives.
It's as though they think if they treat men well, they are somehow saying
that they, as women, are inferior to men. Sadly, many of these women
have suffered mistreatment from some male figure(s) in their past, and feel
justified in condemning all men for the act of one, or a few. As holds
true for all injustices against us, our only true relief, happiness, and peace
comes when we forgive those who have trespassed against us ("If ye forgive
men their trespasses, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you" -- Matthew
6: 14), not by seeking revenge against the offender, and more especially,
punishing those who were not the offender... in this case, all other men.
Read about the article in the Tribune today.I'm sorry to say
people do not talk or compliment each other in our fast paced society.This applies to both husbands and wives and children.Am I wrong?
Dont' get much of that list in my marriage either I must say, sad to see
I'm not the only one in that boat.
The 1st four posts have an element of truth rather sarcastically IMO.Then, I always thought Married w/ Children was far more accurate than the
I am so very grateful that I found a wonderful wife who even after 31 years
still pays me all these compliments and more...every day!I'm
also grateful to see and hear my daughter-in-law doing the same for my son.
I had to laugh about the "bat your eyes and compliment him on being
superman" one. But then I remember how my Dad, who is almost 80 years old,
gets such a kick when my Mom hands him a bottle to open, and she remarks how
strong his hands still are. He just beams!I think there is
something to this article. Everyone needs to feel important. As
for some of the commenters, it's not a competition between men and women
After reading the comments from the men, I know I can do better. I truly do
feel these things, but don't say them enough. I don't even remember
what I've said to my husband in the last few days. Thanks for this
article. I'm going to do better TODAY.
Sad to hear some of these comments.Can say from personal experience
that words can make or break.Soft hearts and kindness and expressing
genuine gratitude to each other can get you over some pretty deep chuck holes in
I'm divorced for 10 years now. I raised our son and got him on an LDS
mission and into college alone. It meant a lot to have people walk up and
compliment me on the good job I was doing. If you see single dads out there
pulling that load, do the same - they need the encouragement because otherwise
most of what they hear will be misandry at best.
LOL! I knew this was written by a woman the instant I started reading the
compliments. Most guys really don't care about this. Women on the other
Luckily my wife does not subscribe to the common practice of "What my
husband earns is 'ours' and what I earn is 'mine.'"
Being yoked together, as close as possible to "equal" is a good thing,
although on any given day one likely works or pulls harder than the other. But
the question is, how do they do as a team? Apparently, not too well in some
instances. Fortunately there's always the opportunity to improve, mend
and/or repair relationships if both are willing.
I am so sorry for these husbands that feel that they are taken for granted by
the women who should appreciate them the most. Men have feelings too, but are
not as likely to express them as women. Azresident - If you are
married, I hope you follow the advise of this writer. We women have our time in
the sun. It is right we give the men their chance unfettered - without a Brian
Regan "you, ME" moment.
@2020"I would absolutely love to hear compliments such as these
from my wife, even just occasionally."-----------------So
sorry to hear that. But I know exactly how you feel - I have the
same problem. My wife doesn't work. My wife spends the day shopping,
hanging out with friends, shopping, browsing the internet, shopping, eating out
for lunch, shopping, spending our money, shopping, doing hobbies, shopping etc.
She has the ideal life, and has all the freedom and independence a person can
have. I work stressful hours but make a decent income - sometimes with some
overtime. And yet, she hasn't given me a compliment or an intimate moment
in years. She won't even sleep with me anymore - making me sleep
downstairs. I am so sad. I try to communicate with her and even tell her how I
deserve a bit more attention, etc. but she just ignores me. You know, being
active in the LDS Church we hear 99% of the time that the men are not being good
husbands, etc - rarely are the wives spoken to. I might point out this article
to her, but I know what she will do: she will just ignore it.
To: Herriman, UT - It made me sad to read your words. It is as important for a
man to know he is appreciated by words and action as a woman. Women young and
old who are especially Mothers and who work just get caught up in all they need
to do and I believe the majority of women are not meaning to be unappreciative
or ungrateful but should stop and think how they would feel if they never felt
appreciated or loved. Gosh, I hope something will change within your family and
your wife and children will wake up and let you know how much they love you and
appreciate all your hard work and not just do it once...but over and over again.
We all deserve to know without doubt we are valuable and special within our
family. That should never be forgotten or taken for granted. Hope things get
Wow, we're hearing from the men this a.m. I'm guessing the women will
get to this article after breakfast is made and the kids are fed, school lunches
are made, the kids are dressed and off to school, the dog/cat/horses have been
fed, the dishes are done, the beds/bedrooms are made up, the laundry is started,
and, and, and???
I would absolutely love to hear compliments such as these from my wife, even
just occasionally. Sometimes I wonder if she even has any positive thoughts
such as these about me. Everything is usually more about what is wrong, or what
I have done wrong, or didn't do at all. Rarely does she do or say
something to make me feel like, as her husband, I actually mean something
special to her.
Wow, this must be the mandatory father article that KSL and the DN feel
obligated to publish every 6 months. What are we at a 40:1 ratio for articles
saying women and moms are awesome vs men and dads are awesome?
@wisseacre, Shimlau, SignoftheTimes:What a bunch malarkey! I
honestly feel if you have those feelings about life in general you will project
that emotion to your wife. The "I work my tail off so you can stay home all
day" mentality is not only dangerous, it's usually wrong! If
husbands/fathers were worthy of the compliments given in the article, then 50%
of marriages wouldn't end in divorce. Take pride in being a provider.
It's a choice you made. Own up to it. Be proud of it. And show your
family you are happy to take that role.
@signsofthetimesI completely agree with you. Men/Husbands/Fathers
have no other meaning. We're downtrodden only to be expected to fulfill
others expectations. Not always as the saying goes "happy wife, happy
life", more like "happy wife, still crappy life".
SOTT: you seem to be caught in the latest portrayal of fatherhood, at least what
the current popular media shows. And in that I may have to agree with you.
However, if the mothers in this society would follow even a portion of the
advice given in this article, then 50% of the marriages wouldn't be ending
in divorce. We always hear that women (wives) need validation, what's
wrong with men (husbands) also getting a little validation, especially from the
individual that means more in their lives than anyone else.
Sorry, but the truth is we're here to be sperm donors and to provide for
our families only. We're an ATM to which everyone who taps into it thinks
there is an endless limit. We work our tails off in sorry jobs while everyone
else gets what they want--the comfortable home for the wife and great schools
and friends for the kids.