Since some have stood up to champion the father, I would ask one thing. When he
decided mom should stay home and make sure his food was on the table when he got
home had he lost his ability to perform basic math? Was he unable to see in
black and white what the impact was going to be on the household budget with the
loss of 50% of the available funds? The assumption is he was able to take care
of them in California. How? A 4 bedroom here is $1600 at the least, so he was
probably living with his parents. That is not caring for them financially, that
is just passing the cost onto someone else. I am sure of this...when an
application for social services is made to the state or church, it is the mother
in line doing the paperwork and waiting countless hours with the kids with her
while dad is home sitting at the dinner table wondering where his meal is. It
is the mom who has the backbone to lower herself and ask for help or to not just
run away like this dad did leaving her to cope.
I cannot imagine a scarier situation than not having a place to live.Good
luck to this family. I am sure they appreciate the helping hand.
Since there have been no other sympathetic comments relating to the father of
the children and since some unkind notions of him have been entertained on this
thread, may I mention the following:There was a longstanding
relationship with the father; there are three children aged from four to nine
attributed to him. The mother knew where to find him; he wasn't in hiding,
and he took care of the children for an unspecified time at her request.It has been suggested by one poster that this man "wasn't
paying enough child support". I didn't notice, from this article, if
they were married but we were not informed of the existence or amount of child
support payments or if there were any arrears at all.The live-in
boyfriend was, apparently, willing to take on full financial responsibility for
three children, not even his own. He did not feel secure with his partner
leading one poster to claim he was "controlling". He was certainly a
traditional male willing to care for four people without any legal
responsibility to do so. We are not told why he left, if he was asked to.
This charity is free to do what it thinks best and may have other details that
we lack.Based on the specifics it is well to use wisdom along with
compassion. As for "nobody being immune from this kind of
situation" it depends what is meant by that. We often don't know if a
woman, or a man come to that, had an abusive spouse. Nobody forces you, though,
to have a "live-in partner", or to stay with someone for four years
without marrying - when free to do so.I'm all for helping
people however they got in the mess they are in, but I think that wisdom is
called for. Whether the best approach was taken I don't know. I do find
it interesting that one poster insisted first that there was no father mentioned
in the story then, finding this was untrue, then almost assumed the woman was a
"battered wife". That certainly was not stated in the article. Those so very ready to make assumptions favorable to one party, are often
equally ready to make assumptions UNfavorable to the other party. Assuming a
female victim and a male abuser is sickeningly familiar.
Jared's brother's name was Moriancumr, not Mohonri. And as I feel
badly for anyone without a home I have to notice that they all look very well
fed and drive/ sleep in a car newer than my own. How many others are there who
might be more deserving of help that would at least put them in a CAR and not on
The story leaves me asking questions about this kind of situation:Apparently the children have a father that was willing to care for them while
their mother sorted things out. Was he willing to care for them little longer?
Was there any need to have them return to the mother and sleep in a car? I wish that single parents would think about not creating a situation of
live-in partners, which are not exemplary, and often not safe, for the children,
and would think twice of walking away from a situation of "an earthly home
and parents kind and dear" via divorce, unless there are good, compelling
reasons. Of course we do not know in this specific case if such reasons existed
It is always nice to hear about a family given a second chance. I hope they
appreciate the gift that has been offered.
I think we are fooling ourselves if anyone thinks they are immune to this type
of situation. Loss of a spouse, job, income, health (mental health) or family
tragedy could result in similar results for any individual or family. "There
but for the grace of God go I."
In a world of war, chaos and tragedy, its always refreshing to read about lives
blessed and happy endings.I'm not sure what difference it makes
all of the why's and where'fores. Blessings have come into her life.
Maybe she could have asked for help sooner, maybe this maybe that. It's
another episode of the 'If' game; which no one wins.I hope
we can all take hope from this story and incentive to help out where we can.
Maybe we don't have an extra house just collecting dust, but many of us
have a little extra time to help out at a shelter, donate a can or too of food,
and so forth. If anything, this economy has taught us that no one is exempt
from hardships. No one is immune to unemployment or escalating costs and
decreasing wages. Let's lend a hand where we can.
Echoing another comment, I am wondering whether she approached her Bishop
(sounds like she is LDS). Having seen this type of thing many times first hand
while in a Bishopric I'd be surprised if the church didn't find a way
to help. Perhaps she didn't ask, just not knowing what is available. But
I've seen less deserving (at least based on the article) receive from the
church for a much longer period of time. I don't know the details here but
sounds like she may have had other options. Either way, glad she is not on the
street anymore. Good luck in the future.
What is a shame is help getting her current on rent would have solved a lot of
heartache and been more cost effective. But they finally have a place that is
decent. I wouldn't want to sleep in the park night after night.
Article did mention Father and they lived with him in California. Did he pay
enough child support to help with rent though? Did he go back to Samoa. I
think you need a visa to go back there even though American Samoa is an American
possession and in any case I think a flight there would be a bit expensive.
I sent in a comment that was denied, and once again (for the umpteenth time) I
can't figure out why. It did not violate ANY of the items on the list.
Basically, I noticed that the family is probably LDS based on clues such as the
family singing I am a Child of God, and noticed that they help they got was from
an interfaith agency, not the LDS church, and I just wondered if the church was
also helping. I'm sure others wondered the same thing. I cannot for the
life of me figure out what that comment was denied. I know others have equally
frustrating experiences with comments on the DN.
@ Mountainman the article mentioned a former live in boyfriend who was very
controlling. No mention of Father. She may have been divorced or had kids from
multiple people before she lived with that boyfriend. Seems like people that
get divorced after marrying a control freak more often than not they will marry
another abusive person. Battered wife syndrome, Don't see the evil until
after they are married or live with the abuser and they feel responsible not
there abusive person in there life.
Where is the father?
Sounds like she had a controlling boyfriend who didn't care all that much
for responsibility. Good people find ways to help people in these situations.
It's becoming more convenient to criticize people for not meeting their
responsibilities because when we look at others its easy to look at
responsibility with extreme contrast. You either are doing what you should, or
you aren't. Those interested in condemning each other will only ever look
at it this way. And while valid, it is unbalanced without equal weight given to
mercy. It is without love.Then there are people who are less
interested in judgement and more interested in helping. We're all broken in
one way or another. I imagine a lot of people look at this woman with nothing
but judgement. Yet what remains is that we remain as able to be judged and found
with faults.Honestly, I'm tired of hearing judgement come from
imperfect people, even myself. I know from my experience and from others that
we'd do a lot better by helping rather than complaining. I've never
heard, seen, and cannot comprehend a scenario where more was accomplished the
other way around.This article highlights imperfect people getting
help from imperfect people who have faith in this cause. I can find nothing but
What a beautiful family! They sing I'm a child of God, one of kid's
name Mahonri (same name as the brother of Jared), hope their home teacher finds
What a tender story! I am thankful there are good people around in Utah and
elsewhere still. Things are so crazy in our country and our world now.Good luck and God bless you and your children.
Thank you for this article, Dennis. Wonderfully written, emotionally moving.
Very inspiring, indeed. I'll be contacting this organization to volunteer