Expectations of cohabiting men, women may not mesh

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  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    July 14, 2013 6:33 p.m.

    @ Chris B.

    I appreciate your words. I will use them when I promote Same Sex marriage : "There is nothing wrong with adults making adult decisions".

    Thank you!

  • 9MM Murray, UT
    July 11, 2013 3:37 p.m.

    Two bad decisions will never lead to a good decision, neither will three or four.
    We can't keep coming up with excuses that enable bad decision making by adults. Failure to promote positive interpersonal relationships with feelings of commitment, respect, and love is a scourge on our society that is far worse than any potential outside threat this country faces.
    Testing out a relationship - What does that mean? Is it like a test drive for a new car?
    What incredibly deranged thinking is this, that we treat each other in our society like the objects we can purchase at the nearest store!
    No wonder family stability is on the decline in this country, seeing how these people we treat as objects, act and react to our poor decisions towards them.

  • Todd_i Midway, UT
    July 11, 2013 11:47 a.m.

    Marriage by nature is about commitment. For me I've been married 19 years and enjoying my life. My marriage has been a joy. Joy does not always mean easy, in fact at times it has been a real challenge faced and conquered together. There have been times that I've wondered if life would be easier without kids or without my wife. When I get over these moments/periods of depression and really think deeply about life I've concluded that 'going it alone' would not be easier. And for me I doubt it would be more joyful. It is commitment that has helped me through the periods of greatest challenge. I suppose without the commitment (the article calls it 'decide') 'sliding' out of the relationship may just happen.

  • Whos Life RU Living? Ogden, UT
    July 11, 2013 7:21 a.m.

    This is a reaon why many people are pro marriage for same sex couples.

  • LeDoc SLC, UT
    July 10, 2013 4:28 p.m.

    I must say some of the comments sadden me. Why do people so often find it necessary to call names because someone else doesn't conform to their thoughts? If you play a video game you're losers? My spouse has a PhD and reads the funny papers. Is Gin rummy allowable? I happen to be an adult. I happen to play an occasional video game. I also have a library which includes a good number of the classics. I also happen to be a committed husband and father. I own a very nice house. I serve in my church. I do my best to instill good values in my family. It's interesting that the stats for LDS temple marriages that end in divorce are close to the rest of society. Just getting married doesn't make one accomplished at this "game" of life. Some folks might think that being overly judgmental qualifies for a loser tag. Other folks just think name calling is childish.

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    July 10, 2013 11:35 a.m.

    Red, you're absolutely right. We do have a bunch of losers as young adults, unable to make sufficient commitment to even expose themselves to sunlight on a regular basis. I figure those serious enough about life to actually be able to support themselves in a shackup situation ought to be able to do so for themselves, and thereafter determine if marriage is wise or even necessary.

  • Epinephrine Grand Forks, ND
    July 10, 2013 7:02 a.m.

    Or, you could become one of the promiscuous divorced adults we see on these comment boards who implies that their world filled with multiple sex partners and pornography is fun and free, and how marriage destroyed them! Besides, the world is progressing to a stage where sex with everyone and everything will not be looked down upon, and anyone disagreeing must be a repressive bigot who is going against freedom.

    Looks like evolution is starting to head backwards for humans.

  • cassadove Tampa, FL
    July 9, 2013 8:39 p.m.

    Very few people take marriage seriously in this day and age. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has standards which are very strict against cohabitation before marriage... However, in my life, I've been in situations where cohabitation (with a roommate or other family members) was unavoidable. I have found that learning to live with a person helps strengthen the relationship, but you still need some sort of higher commitment (engagement or marriage) there to make it truly work.

  • Kate Hutch Kenmore, WA
    July 9, 2013 3:18 p.m.

    This article is rife with noncommital words: 'often,' 'more likely,' 'may,' 'suggests,' 'much less/more likely,' and devoid of hard data, ie NUMBERS. This article was promulgated by an organization with an agenda, The National Marriage Project. Never mind that more than half of all marriages end in divorce, which 'suggests' that blindly committing to marriage is not the answer and that children suffer from the upheaval of marriage just as much as from the upheaval of nonmarital childbearing. Perhaps preparing people for real life and having Big Business be on the side of families instead of on the side of $hareholders....gee...do ya think more marriages might stay together if life was not such a $truggle and $train with $o much $tress because bu$iness charges $o much for life's basic necessities so that CEOs can buy more yacht$ and mansion$? (Hello, Mitt) How about if men respected women more? How about if sex was celebrated and not shamed? There are many variables to consider.

  • Red Salt Lake City, UT
    July 9, 2013 8:40 a.m.

    We have a huge problem with uncommitted people. It is showing up everywhere.

    We have a bunch of losers who play video games as adults.

    Nice "adult" decision making.

    Get serious about life! Get committed! Get married!

  • christoph Brigham City, UT
    July 8, 2013 10:33 p.m.

    Chris B. : marriage is for adults; and many grown adults never grow up.

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    July 8, 2013 10:33 p.m.

    Chris B, thanks for saying what I tried to say. I guess I exceeded the 200 word limit or was off topic?

  • Chris B Salt Lake City, UT
    July 8, 2013 9:52 p.m.

    All the more reason to try things out before getting married.

    There is nothing wrong with adults making adult decisions

  • Hutterite American Fork, UT
    July 8, 2013 5:53 p.m.

    That's why shacking up isn't necessarily a bad thing; if it isn't going to mesh, marriage will just make it worse.