Ask Angela: Do women just want to be friends?

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  • Andalia Beach City, TX
    June 10, 2013 1:39 a.m.

    I wish I had this article last year at college when I was on a dating committee to help encourage dating around campus. Our committee spent a semester researching cultural values, gospel values, and well, all the things people were afraid of, and came to the conclusion that a LOT of people were afraid to do more than "hang out" because they felt that a date DID mean marriage.

    To be honest, coming from not dating at all in high school, to a church college full of return missionaries who were still high on their mission president's final interview made me really overwhelmed. As I started dating, it became frustrating to feel like dates had to meet some standard of "magic", instead of just having fun! I felt I couldn't be myself, wondering which one was "the one" It felt like a run on the banks; desperation seemed so tangible at times. I would get frustrated with guys who instead of getting to know me, seemed to be looking me over like a heifer at auction, checking off a list of "must haves", just to make sure that their trophy was qualified to take to the mission reunion.

  • bufffalobob2 poulsbo, WA
    May 21, 2013 7:37 a.m.

    i was 32 years old (1977- you do the math), when i finally realized that it was possible for people of opposite sex to be just friends - in the real sense of the word- with no sexual implications. i think it is important for people who are not married yet to fully understand that- maybe many o you do- but i did not until i was - well, much older, and i cannot tell you how that makes me feel- to have missed out on many possible friendships because of that viewpoint. yes, dating can have a serious purpose, but it can also serve to develop friends for members of both sexes. you are living in a very different time than i lived in when your age- don't get side tracked, follow the counsel given by our church leaders regarding dating and marriage. yes, i finally did get married- at 32- why it took that long, i am not sure- but i do think that not being comfortable on a friendship only basis with women slowed down getting married. so- my bottom line to those who are not married yet- heed the counsel given by our church leaders on this topic.

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    May 21, 2013 12:09 a.m.

    Friends is what all I think you can expect. When there is kids or a huge student lone. I don't think I would want to get serious with other factors.

  • terra nova Park City, UT
    May 20, 2013 9:39 a.m.

    Friendship can be a fine basis for a good marriage. More girls (and guys) ought to see a date as a friendship thing. Then let it progress if it is supposed to progress. Just relax and let it happen. Have a little fun. So many want to rush the process... and when they go into "DTR" mode it ends up ruining it.

  • Mountanman Hayden, ID
    May 18, 2013 7:43 a.m.

    Never invest your time or money in another man's future wife.