Adoption often leaves older children behind, alone, but waiting families change the future

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  • AFCoug Colorado Springs, CO
    April 29, 2013 7:35 a.m.

    For those who have adopted older kids what about costs? I have 5 kids of my own but have a great job and room to spare. My wife and I have discussed adopting siblings to add to our family but at $10k or more a piece for paper work, etc. we simply woukld not be able to afford it. You would think bringing kids into a loving home and eliminating a financial burden on the state would be enough to allow cheap or even free adoptions of these kids. Where do you find good info on how to go about the process?

  • Justmythoughts Provo, UT
    April 23, 2013 7:23 a.m.

    Our adopted son has been the joy of our lives....we are so blessed that he came into our lives.

  • The.Canuck Tooele, UT
    April 22, 2013 12:01 p.m.

    My wife and I are foster parents to 3 great kids and adopted one more last Dec. We have 4 bio kids as well. Its been a tough sometimes to deal with the emotional and other problems these children bring into our home, but they all have made so much progress.

    I would encourage any good parents out there to look at fostering. Its not for everyone. But if you have what it takes, many of these kids could really benefit from your loving homes.

    There are so many children in need out there right now. Its sad to see some go without the basics.

    Please help if you can.

  • adoptmomof6 Ward, AR
    April 19, 2013 12:08 a.m.

    Having fostered many kids and adopted 6 I can tell you that age doesn't matter......We have 4 that have reactive attachment disorder. Our youngest of the 4 came to live with us at 17 months of age and our oldest was only 6 years old. There are many wonderful teens that need a home that are great kids. It breaks my heart to think that these kids don't have a forever family to come home to. We have been through a lot with our kids, but they are healing. I would do it again....being a foster child does not make you a juvenile delinquent. If we had a bigger house we would have more kids........

  • Foster and Adoptive Mom Las Cruces, NM
    April 17, 2013 9:31 a.m.

    I am a foster parent and have heard some of the most gut-wrenching stories from these kids (or read about these experiences in their files). My 9 year old adopted child has experienced more than most adults. Yes, she has some bad behaviors, but those where survival skills -- she was in the foster system from age 2-8. It will take many many many years for her to feel fully secure (if she ever does!). As adults we need to stop judging these kids and blaming them for things that were out of their control. Not everyone is in a situation to foster or adopt a child, but EVERYONE can step in and help them in some way. Before condoning them, please spend time trying to understand the hurt that have experienced! Or, better yet, offer to mentor one of these "lost" kids and help them grow into well adjusted, successful adults. Many of these children have NEVER had positive role models--> be one!

  • Foster and Adoptive Mom Las Cruces, NM
    April 17, 2013 9:21 a.m.

    So many people have misconceptions about foster children (i.e. Dr. Groovey). They NO NOT enter the system because of something they did. They are removed from their parents due to abuse and/or neglect. It's true that this abuse/neglect often results in poor choices/behaviors by the child, but those behaviors are a result of the child's experiences. Unless you have walked in the shoes of these children, it is very difficult to truly understand what they have gone through.

    --continued on next comment

  • Lois Collins Salt Lake City, UT
    April 17, 2013 7:40 a.m.

    Dr. Groovey:
    Do me a favor and email me some sources on that. Because that's not what I've been told at all. I'd love to look into it, if it is, in fact, true.

  • DrGroovey Salt Lake City, UT
    April 16, 2013 6:52 p.m.

    This is truly a sad situation, but the numbers are deceiving. The majority of the older kids who age out of foster care are in foster care due to their own delinquent acts. Those kids are not eligible for adoption because their parents' parental rights have not been terminated. Even if they were, few people want to adopt kids who have felony convictions for drugs or violent crimes. Those are the kids that really don't have much of a future.

  • mightyhunterhaha Kaysville, UT
    April 16, 2013 3:56 p.m.

    The need to make it easier for people to adopt. Having to be home schooled before they will even look at your request is stupid.

  • samhill Salt Lake City, UT
    April 16, 2013 12:22 p.m.

    The main message I take from this very sad/hopeful/tragic/happy story is the vital importance of familial relationships to the formation of human beings.

    We **must** do better at promoting solid, committed, **long-term** relationships into which children are born and raised. That once was a pretty good definition for the ideal marriage. Unfortunately, following a trend that seems to be accelerating, the value placed on marriage has been dramatically and tragically diminished.

    Turning the current trends around is a difficult task. But, there are no real alternatives. Nothing less than the future of humanity depends on reestablishing the values on marriage and family that were once common place and routine.

  • Life With Anthony Salt Lake City, UT
    April 16, 2013 12:18 p.m.

    Thank you. Makes me think.