Now what? Men discuss moving on after divorce, death of spouse

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  • SlopJ30 St Louis, MO
    April 10, 2013 11:27 a.m.

    Avoiding the "rebound romance" is probably the best advice I could give based on experience. I've been married for 18 years, but my father-in-law lost his wife of 40 years to cancer in 2007. She'd given him her "blessing" to find someone else before she died. So, what does he do? Being very active LDS, he went to some Mormon dating site and found himself a divorcee. After a whirlwind long-distance romance, he got remarried.

    Oops. It was a disaster. She turned out to be nothing but a gold-digger (he's a dentist), and, long story short, he's now divorced with (A) an $60,000 loan to her kids that will never be paid back, (B) a monthly support payment, and (C) an "investment property" he bought at her urging that he should've never bought. I get mad just thinking about it.

    This pitfall is even more of a trap for active LDS than others, I'd say. People (men in particular) have, ahem, physical needs that they feel they can only fulfill within marriage, so they rush into things. Bad idea.

  • sashabill Morgan Hill, CA
    April 2, 2013 9:38 p.m.

    It would be interesting to see a study or a series of interviews of single adults who had been raised as only children. When I became a "newly-minted" single custodial father some decades ago, one major factor that helped me accept, deal with, and adjust to the situation was the fact that I was an only child. I am now in my mid-60s, remarried, and my children are grown. Being single for some 25 years more -or-less second nature for me, in part because I was "raised single."