Ask Angela: Handling the college social scene

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  • Hamath Omaha, NE
    March 30, 2013 9:34 a.m.

    @ Joe Blow

    The study that was recently shown to lead to better heart health for those who drink alcohol in moderation (wine) was recently revoked the by journal who published it. The author made the numbers up. This researcher was also fired from the university post that he held.

    Of course, the modern news media didn't publish the "firing and reneging story" as widely or loudly as they did the "wine is good for you" story.

  • howtoshyne LAUREL, MD
    March 26, 2013 9:58 a.m.

    I was baptized when I was 19 years old. When I reveal this to my professors I always get "really?? What made you want to join?!" Their real question is "Why would you, at this time in life when everyone is making the WORST decisions they could possibly make and blaming it on youth, choose to live such a strict religion."

    Of COURSE it was hard at first. The summer before I turned 21 all of my friends started drinking -- not partying hard, just having a beer around a campfire. It seemed very attractive to me, and I even joined them a time or two. I never got drunk, I never even got a little tipsy. But those small bad choices were enough to separate me from the Spirit. The following year I became less active and made more bad choices. Even though to the world I appeared to be living a righteous life, I knew that I was at odds with the Lord and His commandments. I came back of course, and made decisions to bring the Spirit back into my life. That's what keeps me strong now; I've lived in darkness before and have no desire to return.

  • theshadowknows Salt Lake, UT
    March 25, 2013 12:34 p.m.

    oh yes. It sounds good, but the longer and farther you step from .... that place which you have alleged to be the truth...the longer and farther you have to walk, crawl, get back.

    ....and oh how I wish I would have paid better attention to that reality.

    I don't care how "responsibly" you might are still burning down your relationship with your Father in Heaven. Doesn't matter how kind you are or how much you "avoid" all those "other things" (oh but I didn't do .... or .... and that's so much WORSE....). None of that matters at all. If you leave the Rolls Royce in the desert and go looking for a party house (which is a downhill skid and you know that's true) still have a long walk to get back to the car. And it's all uphill back to the highway...when you're still getting over a hangover???!!!

    Don't be a bloody fool. I have paid with my life for this knowledge. Don't you make the same deal.

  • bellsandbells Columbia, MO
    March 25, 2013 10:40 a.m.

    JoeBlow...Yes, most people use alcohol and such responsibly. But, like I told my kids, "stay in the light...avoid dark places..." The spirit of the Lord grows dim when you are in certain social circles. Youth are forming those social circles. It is easy to fall off the fence when you walk too close to the edge. Alcohol and a youthful party lifestyle is too often in "dark places". That can mean dark in terms of the spirit of the Lord or dark as in bars and even inappropriate private parties. Try to always keep your life in the "light"...the light of the spirit of the Lord. I know families who have wine with their meals and drink alcohol mixed with 75% soda and it is done in their family setting. I know others who drink to get drunk. It isn't my place to judge them. But for me and my family, I believe the "Word of Wisdom" is the best and safest route.

  • Jemezblue Albuquerque, NM
    March 24, 2013 7:57 p.m.

    There are several different parts to Jared's question that needs to be answered. Jared, are envious of the partying of others, but you do not really understanding what is going on. As a older, returning student to college, these college partying years are only for a short time, then reality sets in, such as drug or alcohol addiction, or new families to take care of. Understand what real happens after you make your decision in whatever you do, including attending college parties.
    Second, Jared, I would recommend that you work to be true to yourself and be yourself to others. Those who make it in college and in life learn early to party wisely and to take care of themselves. This part is very true despite what religion the student believes in. Those who succeed in school and in life are not those who attend every party. I have seen it in the various programs that I have been in while being an older college student. College life is a short one, but it can define you for the rest of your life. Work now for who you want to be 5 or 10 years from now.

    March 24, 2013 7:05 p.m.

    Most people use fire in a responsible fashion as well. However, there is no doubt it can have an inherent destructive force. I won't judge those who have made the decision to use alchololic drinks, tobacco, coffee, tea, etc. responsibly. However, for LDS people, there are other consequences that must be accepted. You LDS people know what they are. Choose wisely! (I've made the LDS "word of wisdom" choice, and it's been to my benefit.)

  • JoeBlow Far East USA, SC
    March 24, 2013 1:24 p.m.

    Certainly, those who have never had a drink in their lives do not ever become alcoholics.

    However, people need to realize that of all of those who drink, the vast vast majority do so responsibly with zero negative effects.

    Life is about choices. You make bad ones, there are consequences. That happens in all aspects of life.

    I drink alcohol and coffee responsibly. Heck, I may even live longer because of it.

    Remember. Even water, drank to excess can kill you.

  • Gracie Boise, ID
    March 24, 2013 10:12 a.m.

    I agree with bellsandbells. I saw enough students who thought they would only "commit a little sin," have their "fun," and come back to sanity on their own time table. Didn't happen, not then at least. Tempting the Lord is a dangerous thing. When a person knows even a portion of the gospel and decides as a young adult to ignore it for awhile, that "while" can become eternal in scope. It only takes one time to sin seriously enough to ruin a person's life. That IS catastrophic and certainly not worth the sin.

  • bellsandbells Columbia, MO
    March 24, 2013 8:49 a.m.

    Here are a couple of true stories to illustrate...

    A young man told me he wanted to 'party' and when he was ready to settle down, he would live the gospel and marry a worthy LDS girl, etc. Well, he became a 'dad' first and married a drug addict. He never got back on track and spent time in rehab for alcohol himself.

    Another young man told me "a bottle of beer does not make you a bad person". My answer was that no one took their first drink and stated, "I am going to become an alcoholic. Prisons are full of people who are there because of things they did while drunk." Yep! He drank too much, got into a bar fight and went to prison. He has never returned to the church.

    To think you can live one way and then pick and choose a convenient time to live an LDS life, is a dangerous idea.

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    March 23, 2013 9:29 a.m.

    Being LDS while at Penn State (#1 party school in the nation one of the years I was there) was actually a pretty handy excuse since the actual reason I don't drink is that I feel like it'd disappoint my mom and sister too much.

    Anyway, if you respect the choices of friends to have a drink or two (these were generally the friends I'd have who might only be drunk less than a handful of times a year) they'll respect your choice not to drink. Might leave you out of a few college parties but I've gone to bars with friends here in Utah and nobody cares that I'm not drinking.