Ask Angela: What should I do about a semi-boyfriend that hinted he wants an expensive watch?

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  • Philippine Bonita Sammamish, WA
    March 24, 2013 10:56 a.m.

    I'm just reading this now, 3 months later, but I must ask, does no one follow Miss Manners anymore?
    A lady never accepts expensive jewelry from a gentleman who is not her relative. The exception to this rule would be the acceptance of the engagement ring indicating her agreement to becoming his relative by marrying him.
    Certainly this rule could be interpreted that conversely a gentleman should likewise refuse a gift of jewelry from a woman who is not his relative. But the idea of a gentleman prodding his new love interest to purchase such a gift!!?? GASP!
    This writer would have to assume that either the young lady misinterpreted his remarks or in the case that she did not, that the young man was not raised properly in this regard. Either way, claiming that she can not afford it should not be the reason given for not purchasing the watch. Citing that it would be inappropriate would be the correct reason.
    If you can not figure it out why it would be innappropiate, see Miss Manners for the reasoning behind this rule.

  • terra nova Park City, UT
    Dec. 25, 2012 2:51 p.m.

    Be honest. Tell him the watch is beautiful, admire the intricate work, design and astonishing level of detail. Sigh and say, "Right now, I can't afford it. Nor would it be prudent to even consider giving you a gift of this magnitude this early in the relationship."

    Talk about value of things verses the value of living within your means. If he shows he is hung up on having worldly things at any cost (including the debt associated with it) evaluate your compatibility. Chronic obsession with having the next new thing is usually a sign he needs to feel better about himself. Soul sickness is common, but marrying it is unwise - even if you love him.

    The enormous pressure and guilt associated with asking for gifts well out of budget no matter where you are in the relationship should give you pause. If he may apologizes or makes a joke of it. Evaluate his reactions. This is a shadow of how he will communicate in the future.

    The gut reaction of most of the comments runs toward "dump him." Generally, that's probably good advice. But discussing and evaluating are ways to gain a second and third witness.

  • Ronald Uharriet SWun City, Ca.
    Dec. 25, 2012 1:01 p.m.

    Tell your semi boy friend, in a letter, stuffed inside the watch box that you give to him, that as hard as it was for you on your very tight budget, you managed to borrow enough money from family to get his watch for him.

    You feel that since he told you want he wanted for Christmas, it is only fitting that you tell him what you want for New Years Day gift. Don 't over due it by choosing the color, but let him know that you definately would like the BMW Sports Roadster.

  • Mukkake Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 24, 2012 8:34 p.m.

    [All my kids wear watches - ages 15 through 22. They are good with technology, but not slaves to it.]

    Watches are technology, just low-technology. They're still prone to breaking, malfunctioning, corrupt data(not keeping time), and running out of power.

    So, they're still slaves to technology; we all are.

  • rlsintx Plano, TX
    Dec. 24, 2012 12:34 p.m.

    just tell the guy, "Next" !

  • J-TX Allen, TX
    Dec. 24, 2012 12:34 p.m.


    All my kids wear watches - ages 15 through 22. They are good with technology, but not slaves to it.

    I'd say, if he asks for a watch, she should ask for a ring. Then watch him run.......

  • Mukkake Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 24, 2012 9:53 a.m.

    What kind of person, under 50 years old, still wants a watch? Think of all the iPads you could buy with that money.

  • LVIS Salt Lake City, UT
    Dec. 24, 2012 6:26 a.m.

    Time to watch him go...

  • AskAngela SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Dec. 23, 2012 4:00 p.m.

    morpunkt - that's so funny.

    Most people seem to think his request means he'll be a bad boyfriend... so sad.

    Ps. Like Ask Angela on facebook to see more comments!

  • morpunkt Glendora, CA
    Dec. 23, 2012 3:33 p.m.

    Get him a phoney Rolex. By the time the thin gold wears off, so will your relationship.

  • kargirl Sacramento, CA
    Dec. 23, 2012 12:02 a.m.

    I hope he was just admiring the watch the way folks do a lot of things this time of year--when so much attention is on "stuff". But I have to wonder, why with you when you're not even serious about each other? Could he feel entitled to your money, time, attention? Does he assumwe things like your being available for dates or have time to talk on the phone? Just sayin'...he may be sending messages and it's time to "watch" him leave.

  • Southernmiss kaysville, UT
    Dec. 22, 2012 9:30 a.m.

    Get a BIG glass jar and fill it with M & M's. Tie a big red bow on and write a cute note that says something like "Merry Christmas & A Movie with ME!

    Hopefully he didn't realize what he was "saying". But sometimes it's better to find out early in a relationship what kind of person they are...move on if he's self-centered. He should have been asking what kind of things you like...not dropping hints on what HE would like to have..

    Merry Christmas!

  • Local Fan Aurora, CO
    Dec. 22, 2012 8:54 a.m.

    Dump him. He'll be high maintenance the rest of your lives. Anyone selfish, self-centered, and arrogant enough to hint or ask for an expensive present from an acquaintance will not be a good long-term choice.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Dec. 22, 2012 8:38 a.m.

    That was some excellent advice. I certainly hope he wasn't being a cad, if he is you should drop him like a hot potato.