Mormon Parenting: Fear God, not your children

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  • AZRods Maricopa, AZ
    Nov. 26, 2012 5:58 p.m.

    Another day another religious article, another scientific howl over not needing God.
    It starts to sound like the old "If I deny God enough maybe I'll really believe he doesn't exist.
    In your case, I'd say it's not working.

    Hopefully the verses in Proverbs and Psalms mentioned by Sharrona will help you get a correct understanding of knowledge and understanding.

    Otherwise we'll look for you on the next religious article.

  • MrsH Altamont, UT
    Nov. 26, 2012 4:15 p.m.

    Did the aquaintance realize that just maybe the girl MEANT her journal to be found? Maybe she was asking for help?

  • raybies Layton, UT
    Nov. 26, 2012 2:11 p.m.

    Its a mistake to make "being friends" with your kids mutually exclusive from parenting. Christ called his apostles his friends, yet Christ is also their father and their God.

    The problem with the expression that clinches this article is that it presupposes that friend means someone who is beholden to the other, competing to be popular, compromises their standards, and is fixated on fun and entertaining their kids (all things I agree parents shouldn't be or do).

    But there's a reason friends have power in people's lives. For one, they take time to understand. Especially, difficult kids. I grew up in a home where I was continually reminded that i was child in subjection to parents. Ultimately that caused me to resent most authority no matter how good the advice. I needed acceptance despite differences. It did nothing for me in terms of my relationship with God either--because I saw God as authoritative instead of One who loves me deep enough to give His life for me.

    It's time retire the notion parents should not be friends with their kids and Be the Truest Friend possible, instead.

  • A Scientist Provo, UT
    Nov. 26, 2012 12:02 p.m.

    Don't try to mince words. The god given us by Christianity is meant to be "feared" in every negative connotation of that word. Read Revelation; read 3 Nephi. These present us with a god to be "feared", not merely a god for whom you should have "reverential awe".

    And such a god is not one I will waste a second worshiping.

  • JonathanPDX Portland, Oregon
    Nov. 26, 2012 12:30 a.m.

    Fear can be many things. It can be the abject terror of the unknown or the simple acknowledgement of failing a loved one, a friend or even ourselves.

    If we choose not to do our Heavenly Father's will, then we are as a ship tossed to and fro in a storm, never knowing when we might be dashed to pieces on rocks or swallowed by the depths.

    But if we do our Father's will, we have nothing to fear for we have his promise of life Eternal. And death has no power over us, nor does any man-made evil.

    I do not fear God in that I tremble that he might harm me, but I fear God in that I might fail him, because I am weak...and without him I am nothing. And I know that if I fail, it will be my own fault, and of no other. And I know that if I do not abide by my covenant with him, that I have no claim to anything from him, and that is more frightening than anything.

  • jeanie orem, UT
    Nov. 25, 2012 3:31 p.m.

    We live in an affluent area where our kids see their friends getting "everything they want". Our home is one of the smaller and older ones that the large ones built around. My husband and I have had to talk to each one of our 5 kids (especially as teens) about feeling "less than" because we do not give them everything they see their peers getting.

    We explain that it is our job to raise them to be successful adults who know how to save, manage money, do without and then appreciate what they have, not to keep up with the neighbors. If we gave them everything their peers supposedly had we would be raising them to be weak adults and therefore in the long run - less happy ones.

    It is not kind to neglect preparing you child for the realities of life while they can learn the lessons of life at a smaller price.

    We are their mentors, not their buddies and in reality like Baccus0902 said, our kids respect and trust us more - even if they are annoyed at us for a time.

  • Baccus0902 Leesburg, VA
    Nov. 24, 2012 7:39 a.m.

    Excellent article,
    If you believe in God and have children, you could use that as leverage. However, the article should apply to every family. Parents should be friendly or approchable and loving, but not their friends.

    I see many parents falling to the trap of compensating for their lack of time with material gifts.

    Another myth, "times have changed", human relations are the same than thousands of year ago, what have changed is the "wrapping", before we walked to the one we love, thend we use horse or a mule, then we use the bus, now we use a car. At the end the essential dynamic is the same.

    Children need boudaries, they resent them but look for them because it makes them feel protected.
    Parents who say "yes" to everything transmit a message of weakness. Children will not go to them with serious issues.

  • Bill in Nebraska Maryville, MO
    Nov. 23, 2012 6:06 p.m.

    I understand what is said but as has been said before as a parent there is a certain amount of trust that we need to place on our children. Even with all the trust my son and I had I still was not aware of certain things because he wished not to confide in me until well after he had graduated or married. Those things we have talked about and fact is that at times we discussed them but I never seemed to catch that what he was telling me was things he was doing until much later. We've both apologized to each other for not listening even though we were talking about it. Today our relationship is such that we talk about certain things but leave others out of bounds.

    I do feel that many parents feel their children are entitled to certain things because their peers have them. Yet, in reality they are really entitled to security not all the nicities of the world. Sometimes parents feel guilty that they aren't with them as much as they should be and thus to pacify them give them the nicities even when they can't afford.

  • Brahmabull sandy, ut
    Nov. 23, 2012 11:41 a.m.

    Off base?? Commenting on the actual article? Dr. Bridell, the commentor made a comment that was part of the title of the article. I would hardly call that off base.

  • dr.bridell mclean, VA
    Nov. 23, 2012 8:31 a.m.

    Mercy! I get so tired of reading these off-base comments! How about commenting on the actual article which had nothing to do with fearing God but was all about not fearing your kids and wanting them to respect you as a parent and not like you as a friend.

  • sharrona layton, UT
    Nov. 23, 2012 8:12 a.m.

    RE: Dennis, (Proverbs 1:7)The fear of the LORD(Jehovah) is the beginning of knowledge: but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

    Psalm 111:10 The fear of the LORD(Jehovah) is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

    (Hebrews 10:31)It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.

  • Northern Lights Louisville, KY
    Nov. 22, 2012 7:36 a.m.


    The dictionary also describes the word fear as reverential awe. I suggest this is what the scriptures want people to experience instead of feelings of distressing emotion from impending danger. Love and feelings of respect and reverence do have a place together. I hope this helps.

  • Dennis Harwich, MA
    Nov. 22, 2012 6:40 a.m.

    "Fearing" God is simply the most ridiculous doctrinal issue written and talked about.
    Love and fear have no place together, it's one or the other. If I spent my life living in fear it would be a dismal existence for sure.