Having *been there, done, that*, I can say divorce is a lose/lose proposition,
with the children being affected by one - if not both - parents'
selfishness. The hardest part is to forgive when the offences just keep on
coming year after year, until the child is 18 and you don't have to work
anymore with the person you used to love to do what you think is best for the
child/ren. It's an ugly thing that often leaves an empty feeling in your
gut for years, especially when you see your own children suffering the
consequences of a choice they did not make.I think both parties
often must take some of the blame, even if its 98% to 2% or just 50:50. There
are times, as with significant abuse when I'd say, get out. Or if there is
cheating on a spouse. I can see why a person would get out under those
circumstances. Even then, it's heartrending, especially if you did not
choose the situation. Please get all the help you can possibly get
before you opt for divorce. The pain and consequences just keep on going like a
slow train wreck.
Well, I guess Bifftacular judges me as a bad selfish parent when I did all I
could except chain the wife to something.......People need to change the
perception of parenting and be accepting when a judge deems that a dad is
actually the better parent. From birth to now I have taken care of my daughter,
brought her to school everyday, and tried my best to be everything in her life.
The bond is there with me instead of her mother who took off..........So does
Bifftacular class me in the completely selfish category? After giving up jobs,
and self betterment to raise my daughter the very best that I can? People really
need to judge less!
Re: spring street SALT LAKE CITY, UTThis isn't about the adults
who are too immature to make their marriages work. This is about the children
who suffer because of the immaturity of their parents.Children are
best served when they live with both bio parents who have the maturity and love
to nurture and teach their children by example. Sadly many children get far
less than they deserve.
@biffShow me a comment like "show me a divorce....I'll show you
selfishness." and I will show you two of satan's greatest weapons self
righteousness and judgmental attitudes.
One of the finest books on helping children through divorce is Judith
Wallerstein's landmark 25-year long study on the children of divorce
titled: "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce." She followed over
one-hundred children whose parents left each other - interviewing the kids over
and over again to measure divorce's effect. Then she wove the threads
together, masterfully identifying common experiences.As someone who
has seen their parents roll through multiple marriages and divorces over the
years, I found it uncannily accurate.If you or someone you know was
a child of divorce, get them this book. If you are contemplating divorce and
have children, read this book. If you are divorced and have children, get this
book. If you care about your children, read this book.You can find
it on eBay.Divorce leaves lasting marks. Knowing what they are and
how they manifest themselves at different stages of life is the first step in
healing and then breaking the chains divorce forges in the lives of children.
Quality Time spent one or two days a week a part time parent spends with their
children doesn't equal the Quality Time a full time parent spends with
their children seven days a week.Parents can lie to themselves if it
makes them feel better but the truth is that children do better when two loving
bio parents are there for them every day.
Show me a divorce....I'll show you selfishness. One of Satan's
Good article about parents focusing on the children. I have worked with children
of divorce for over 30 years. I was not surprised by the little boys non wish at
the birthday party. Hundreds of kids have told me they are so confused when the
divorce happens. These parents were smart to keep the fighting down
and the doors of communication open. Children need and want to understand what
is happening but they also want peace between the parents. If parents can find a
program just for the children it helps. DivorceCare for Kids is one such program
that helps kids because it helps children identify why they are hurting and
understand how to cope with their feelings. Children need a safe place to talk.
Plus there is have an online searchable database for parents where they can find
a group close to them.
What ever happened to "rooves"? Do they still say wharves or have they
changed that to wharfs?