Ask Angela: He said 'I love you'; it's been 5 days

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  • AskAngela SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Oct. 16, 2012 11:01 a.m.

    Amen, boxerdog915! The reaction on our Facebook page has been pretty consistent with what you guys think. The consensus being 1. Yes, we all want to be loved and hear it from someone else but 2. We want it to be real, and don't want any reason to question it. Great comments! Love hearing what you guys think :)

  • boxerdog915 Clearfield, UT
    Oct. 15, 2012 4:41 p.m.

    I think today it's really hard to find a person who would make a good husband or wife. Finding men and women who are honest and good is becoming more rare. Could he have seen the good and doesn't want to loose that because he's been looking for so long? Sure. Could the guy just be creepy? You bet! Trust the gut and take time to get to know someone before those words come out of the mouth. That's not something people just say. It needs to be genuine.

  • Swedish reader Stockholm, Sweden
    Oct. 14, 2012 9:47 a.m.

    If you've spent time together every day for five days, them maybe he has gotten to know you enough to actually be in love with you. But when someone immediately starts talking about marriage, I would be oncerned that he isn't really interested in marring YOU - you're easily replaceable because the focus is on getting married, not on marrying YOU. How do you feel? Are you in love with him? I will never forget a friend who told me about a woman she knew who continuously complained about her husband. My friend finally said "Well, why did you marry him in the first place?" and the woman answered "Because he asked" and went on to explain that she hadn't really been in love with him, just with the idea of getting married. If things move too fast you could end up married to someone who was just in love with the idea of getting married, rather than with you.

  • terra nova Park City, UT
    Oct. 13, 2012 3:11 p.m.

    Jesus said love everyone...

  • Brent T. Aurora CO Aurora, CO
    Oct. 13, 2012 2:47 p.m.

    Simply, when I tell my wife of 33 years that I love her, something I should say every day (and haven't... sorry), it most certainly means something different than it did the first time I told her, or 25 years ago, or 10 years ago or even this time last year. But I meant it each time. In fact, I meant it when I said this to other girls and women in my life before her. And I knew I loved her from the moment we began dating. So YES -- someone can know at first glance. And then it can grow if given the chance. Poetry. Sorry. My brother-in-law proposed before his wife of (10+ years?) left with him on their first date. Extreme example? Yeah. Use that one all the time to posit the idea that people can know immediately. Requires an open mind and heart, and a willingness to pursue a permanent (even eternal) relationship in the proper season of one's life casting aside a bias that X amount of time or X number of dates must first occur. However, as said here, SHE too needs to feel comfortable and in love.

  • paintinganew Springville, UT
    Oct. 13, 2012 12:02 p.m.

    If nothing else, this proves that the more things change, the more things stay the same. This article could have easily been written forty years ago. I can't tell you how many times I would find myself with someone trying to plan our lives together on the first date. It is disconcerting and uncomfortable and gains nothing as you quickly pointed out. My solution? Date older guys that have been home from a mission for a while--the urgency sensor has worn off a bit and logic has come back into play. Of course, her note doesn't indicate this is a young return missionary, but it sure sounds like it. If she really likes this young man, then a little "training" about timing would be good--by simply being honest enough to tell him that she is ready to continue exploring their relationship further but not ready to discuss permanent commitments, perhaps suggesting he give the situation a little more time and analysis himself.

  • Maryleo99 ,
    Oct. 13, 2012 11:31 a.m.

    I agree that it's not normal to be saying I Love You so soon after meeting and starting to date. But for some, falling in love does happen that quickly. My husband I both knew after the first week that we'd found our perfect mate but we had both just come from relationships that weren't all that great so we waited a while to say those 3 little words. Right from the start our main topic of conversation was weddings (his younger brother had just married). Within a couple months, talk turned from his brother's wedding to our wedding. 14 years, lots of school, 2 kids and lots more schooling later, we're still acting like newlyweds and more in love than ever. Love at first meeting can and does happen but you should still be cautious and take it slow.