Ask Angela: Should I tell her that her engagement ring is a fake?

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  • Quagthistle Hays, KS
    Sept. 30, 2013 6:41 p.m.

    Call me crazy if you wish, but I see absolutely no reason why a wedding ring has to be gold or has to have diamonds. Silver is a lovely medal (that I've found to be more durable than gold when it comes to holding it's shape), and it costs a lot less than gold. As for stones, the Rainbow Sapphire rings (whatever assumption others might make about your "orientation" if you wore one) are quite likely the most beautiful rings I've ever seen, and they are generally only a few hundred dollars. There are so many lovely stones (Lapis, Aquamarine, Topaz, Amethyst, etc.) that it seems silly to be obsessed with having a traditional ring. Why shouldn't the ring be as unique as the couple? :) In short, if fake makes them happy, power to them. There's no need to go into huge debt for a fancy ring, if you ask me.

  • angi9349 Gresham, SC
    Nov. 26, 2012 11:43 a.m.

    I think too many people spend too much time looking at how much the ring costs instead of what the ring represents. If only a small ring can be afforded then that's what should be but I don't think the guy should lie to his fiance. If he couldn't afford a real diamond then he should have told her. If he lies to her and pretends the ring is fake and she finds out, what does that say to her about their relationship? He should be honest to her from the beginning. She will question if anything he says is true if he can't be honest with her.

  • Eowyn77 Cedar Hills, UT
    July 4, 2012 12:41 a.m.

    Everyone is assuming that 1) the bride doesn't know it's a "fake" and 2) she would be upset by the fact that it is. It very well could be that she posted the pic of her ring on Facebook at the request of friends rather than as boasting about its exorbitant cost. She might already be aware it's a "fake" and simply isn't as concerned with price tags as Just Looking Out.

    I say "fake" with quotations because the RING and the things it represents are real. The value of the shiny sparkler set on the ring is ultimately arbitrary and passing. The value of the promises represented by that "fake bling" can be rock-solid and priceless, irrespective of the price tag. Assuming this young man isn't actually lying to the bride, if he can admit he can't afford something but finds an acceptable compromise with his future wife, it speaks volumes. A man like that is more precious than any diamonds.

    Even if he was lying to her about the ring, though, I agree with the advice in this column. Let the bride and groom work it out - or not.

  • huggyface Murray, UT
    July 3, 2012 5:13 p.m.

    I disagree with the advice of the column. This is the beginning of the most important relationship of their lives and if it's a fake and he represented it as real, I think she would want to know. It's one thing to buy a small, more affordable ring (as many have already commented . . It's the sentimental value that counts) and a very different conversation if it's represented as a real diamond, but a fake.

    I would find a way to anonymously let her know the ring is a fake and then she can decide what to do. If he's lying about the ring, is he lying about something else? It would be important for her to know this before they get married.

    Now, if they were already married, the advice given is appropriate.

  • tallen Lehi, UT
    July 2, 2012 1:55 p.m.

    I have helped people who want to take out huge loans for a ring. It's so sad to start your marriage out in debt for a rock. My husband purchased a small ring for me when we were engaged and I loved it. Years later, a health problem had caused me to loose a lot of weight and my ring fell off my finger one night. As devestating as it was to loose the ring, the devestation was limited to emotional loss and not loosing something we were still paying off. In the end, the ring is just a ring. It has no bearing on how much your spouse actually loves you or how much value you have. Buy an affordable ring. As far as the fiance in this story, hopefully she has already been told but is wanting to play up the excitement of engagement by showing off her ring even though she knows the rock is fake. And if that's how they chose to keep their finances in order, more power to them (we chose a tiny real rock instead and I did receive some comments about it being small but that's their problem).

  • megen Truth or Consequences, NM
    July 2, 2012 11:57 a.m.

    My husband gave me a small diamond when we were engaged. It was so beautiful to me! One day the stone fell out. I was devastated! The insurance company paid to have it replaced and a friend who is a diamond broker sold us a beautiful stone, more than twice as big as the original. It is beautiful as well, but I still miss the original- bought out of love and sacrifice.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    July 1, 2012 6:57 p.m.

    Good advice.

  • Bastiatarian TUCSON, AZ
    July 1, 2012 6:47 p.m.

    Tell her that her fiance is gay. When she starts freaking out, say you're just joking, but that the ring is fake. She'll be so relieved about her fiance that she won't be upset about the ring. That way, you can let her know the truth without making her upset about it.

  • CSScougar Salt Lake City, UT
    June 30, 2012 7:22 p.m.

    I would definitely prefer a "fake" ring. It seems to me that beginning a marriage would be difficult enough without beginning in debt.