How Mormonism may have influenced Ann Romney to stay home

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  • Just an Observer Salt Lake City, UT
    April 23, 2012 2:15 p.m.

    Another thing to point out with regard to LDS Church members is that too often we hear women either make their career their identity while their children are in day care, or, if they do choose to stay at home, they remind us that they used to have some kind of job outside. I submit that goes against the admonition against pride. And there truly is nothing better you can do than to ensure your children have the very best foundation they can possibly have. If you must work outside to make ends meet, then you must--and too many of us currently fit that description. If you have some kind of whispering of the Spirit that you need to find a job now while your finances are fine to prepare for future uncertainty, that's OK. But if you are driving an expensive car/going on expensive vacations/concentrating too much on how nice your house is while you are working outside, it's time to remember how serious a decision church leadership has said this is.

  • Just an Observer Salt Lake City, UT
    April 23, 2012 2:02 p.m.

    I agree it's likely that the majority of families who choose for the mother to stay at home that are *not* educationally challenged. But they may certainly pay for it economically. The reality is that even if one parent makes more than an average salary, it is difficult to have a decent standard of living when competing with so many two-income families. We made the decision to go that route, and both my wife and I see that it has likely made a significant difference in our children's lives. But, realistically, there is indeed great financial sacrifice involved if the one salary is not significantly above the average. And, statistically, it is impossible for many people to be significantly above the average.

  • Utah Girl Vernal, UT
    April 23, 2012 1:32 p.m.

    I have been both an at-home mother and a working mother, depending on our circumstances. I have been divorced with several children to care for, after being at home for 17 years. I went back to school to update my office skills and went to work. I remarried, and my husband was in school, so I still worked. But I hated being away from my children, and my youngest 2 used to cry and chase me down the street as I left for work. I cried all the way to work sometimes. I loved my job, so it wasn't the work that made me sad, it was leaving my precious children. My choice to work outside the home has been entirely due to economic necessity, so I've found ways to work and also care for my children. Several years ago I worked for 5 years as a motel maid because I could bring my kids. Hated the job, loved working with my children. They folded towels, emptied garbage, helped vacuum as they got older, and I paid them a little so they could "earn" some money. Each family has different circumstances to deal with.

  • Julie R. Kearns, UT
    April 23, 2012 10:05 a.m.

    If six years of college earning degrees in Earth Science makes me an uneducated stay at home mom, then so be it. We knew that when children came I would stay at home to raise them. It’s not easy financially, but we always make ends meet. We believe this comes from following God's commandments the best we can. We feel we are very blessed for the efforts we make to keep me home. We know that this is what is best for us and what Heavenly Father wants for our family. I understand that there are mothers who do not have the choice to stay home, or make the choice to work, for various reasons. What matters is what is best for each family and whether those parents are putting their marriage & children before anything else. I love being a stay at home mom and being with my children. My greatest contribution to society is my efforts at raising 4 children to be respectful, responsible, kind, loving, tolerant, educated, healthy, & happy. I commend all mothers who have similar goals. If we love our children & are raising them to be better than we are, then we are succeeding.

  • DanBart Orem, UT
    April 23, 2012 9:51 a.m.

    "SherBart" here: Someone should do a study on how much a second income actually adds to the family economy, if one would otherwise be a stay-at-home "Mom." As a first factor, that second wage often brings in less, for more hours away. Then consider that a religious Mom's invaluable hours at home are not taxed or tithed, but that if she went to work, it might push what joint income is left into a higher tax bracket. While working, she would also have additional costs for child-care, transportation, and an office wardrobe that, after taxing consideration, may require double-the-earning. Then there's the leak at home that doesn't get a plumber, while both parents are absent, costs for more convenience foods and eating out, docs and meds for stress-related illness, and potential toll for children in trouble and increased divorce. And that's just a start. Some say the "Mormon" faith is all about money--yet it discourages second, titheable incomes, so a parent can be "at the crossroads" for our children? God be praised that Mormonism is actually all about joy in family success.

  • Robert DeRosa FRESH MEADOWS, NY
    April 23, 2012 8:30 a.m.

    I am sad to see mothers pitted against mothers. Let's presume that mothers love their children and want the best for them and that they face very difficult decisions as to how to structure their lives to create the best possible environment for them. If someone believes that being a stay at home mom is the best option, do that without tearing down those who feel that they should work outside the home. If someone feels that working outside them home is the best option given their circumstances then do that without patronizing or criticizing those who stay at home. I am an active Mormon and know many women at church who struggle with these challenges. A past president of the church also recognized these challenges. President Hinckley encouraged mothers to stay at home with their children and also said "I know how some of you struggle with decisions concerning this matter. I repeat, do the very best you can. You know your circumstances, and I know that you are deeply concerned for the welfare of your children." I think honoring these mothers and helping them to succeed as parents in more important than judging their decision.

  • ? SLC, UT
    April 23, 2012 7:07 a.m.

    Yes members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recognize others not of our faith value motherhood and of their own choice choose to stay home to raise their children. We share these common and very important values together. However, there is this perception or misperception that some not of our faith view those of our faith who choose to remain at home to raise their children as uneducated, as being dominated by their husbands and forced to stay home.

    There are many educated stay at home moms be they of whatever faith they may be who freely choose to stay home to raise their family. It may be a great sacrifice in the process, but in the end the blessings far outweigh anything that could be achieved outside the home and away from their children.

  • SuziQ Springville, UT
    April 22, 2012 7:23 p.m.

    I think that the real key is not Mormon or not, but rather how much do we value a human life and the raising of children into adults. This is not a job for the whimpy. Your days consist of changing diapers, fixing food that no one likes, dealing with temper tantrums, and fixing boo boos, hurt feelings, etc. It involves emergency medicine, psychological evaluations, teaching, etc. Most of teaching and training children is thankless and drudgery. But there comes a day when a great reward comes. That is the day that your children say, "Thanks Mom (or Dad), I now know how much you did for me. I hope I can do as well with my own children." Or they say, "Thanks for never giving up on me. I could never had made it without your help or support." Good people can come out of bad parents and bad people can come out of good parents, but good parents are much more likely to have good children. Our society is only as safe and strong as our families, no matter what race, creed, culture, or religion.

  • Ricardo Garcia Brisbane, Australia, Qld
    April 22, 2012 9:34 a.m.

    To be a good parent takes alot of hard work, so well done to all those that are valiant and are putting their children's welfare first.
    This world is a better place because of you!

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    April 22, 2012 9:30 a.m.

    Uh, the liberal problem with Dr. Laura isn't because liberals oppose stay-at-home mothers... it's because Dr. Laura was asserting that that was the only or best option whereas the liberals were arguing that women should choose for themselves what they want to do. Liberas don't have anything against stay-at-home moms, they have issues with institutional structures that suggest stay-at-home motherhood is the only option.

  • GD Syracuse, UT
    April 21, 2012 2:53 p.m.

    I don't think women who stay home with their children are economically challenged. I would bet just the opposite. I admire women who work at home or at a job. In either case women are very important to children in a family. Fathers have their place but in no way can they do things that influence children like a good mother can. A mother and father together in a family with their children is ideal. If the mother can stay at home lucky for the kids.

  • Ilovethejjs medford, MA
    April 21, 2012 11:06 a.m.

    I joined the LDS church 32-years ago after my mother passed on. At that time, there were "Mother Education" lessons offered in Relief Society. They were a priceless resource in helping me raise three boys, (who were born AFTER her death).
    I associated with many women who left their careers as college professors, journalists, scientists, engineers, to stay at the helm in their home to raise their children.
    After my youngest, I resumed my career as a public school teacher. As they grew into their teens, I resigned (again) as they were finding their own path and I felt I had to be even more vigilant. Someone asked me why I would leave a career that I loved. My answer was, "I can always go back to teaching, but I get only ONE opportunity at mothering.
    Best decision I ever made.

  • obedience4joy PLEASANT GROVE, UT
    April 21, 2012 10:02 a.m.

    I loved the comments from individuals not of the Mormon Faith who understand and value the priceless influence mothers have on our children. Sometimes mothers have no choice but to balance work outside the home and work inside the home or they choose to work because of skills they have to offer. This does not mean they love their children any less, they just have to work harder to keep their kids a priority and to meet their kid's needs. Unquestionably, the more time we are able to focus on our kids, the more opportunity we have to teach them important values, be there for the important conversations and build up our struggling societies. Educated mothers choose to stay home and use their education to raise educated children. Education is ongoing throughout life because of a love to learn and personally grow, in turn, that joy in learning and desire for personal growth is instilled in our children, along with respect for others, integrity and honor.

  • Mom of ten SANBORNTON, NH
    April 21, 2012 9:54 a.m.

    To Megan: "I wonder if Mormons know that other faiths value motherhood...At times it seems that Mormons think they are the only ones who value family."

    Of course we know that many people all across the world value family and motherhood. We simple unite our common values with all those who hold motherhood, fatherhood and family in high priority. We embrace all truth whenever it is found. I live in a predominantly non-Mormon community where I was the only Mormon in my school. It is absurd to think that there were and are no other people who value families. There are probably more that do than do not. Because we speak out for families does in no way reflect that others do not! To state that possibly Mormons think that no one else values family is a stereotype that needs to be stopped!

  • Mom of ten SANBORNTON, NH
    April 21, 2012 9:34 a.m.

    I have three sets of kids, 4 biological, 4 adopted and 2 in the process of being adopted. Their ages range from 2 to 25. I have a degree and was in the work force for over 8 years. I worked until my oldest child was a year old. At that point, my husband and I agreed that I needed to stay at home, working for and with our kids. Between us, I had the better job and insurance. It was scary to quit. But, with very frugal living and a tight budget, we made it work. I went to pay for my husband’s school loans when my oldest was 10. Two years later, I quit. We never have made much money. To say that one has to be wealthy to stay at home is a lie. Follow the Prophet, stay out of debt, know wants from needs and save as much as you can for emergencies. It hasn’t been easy, but it has brought more peace and security than a second job could have. No regrets! And yes, we still had a life, went to Disneyworld a few times, own a timeshare in Florida, gone on several cruises, etc.

  • grip Meridian, ID
    April 21, 2012 9:12 a.m.

    Perhaps an additional perspective. Our first child was born 9 months and 6 days after our wedding night. I was drafted into the military a few days after our marriage. My wife was formally employed outside the home until just before our first child was born and has not been formally employed since.
    Now, what is the point of my story. While in the military I was able to work part time away from home in addition to my military service. With that employment and some help from our parents who wanted their grandchildren raised with a mother in the home (in spite of the very low pay in the military at that time = 1957 and 1958) my wife was able to do what she does best (AND WHAT SHE CHOSE TO DO OUT OF DESIRE) we have five beautiful children who have, for the most part, also been at home to raise their children. We are now grandparents and have helped our children -on occasion and on a very limited basis - to be stay as home moms - by choice.

  • megen Truth or Consequences, NM
    April 21, 2012 8:10 a.m.

    The Gallup poll referenced in the article scares me. Only 14% of American women stay home to raise their kids. How sad! No kid grows up and says, "I wish we lived in a bigger house" or "I wish we had a vacation every year." However, many grow up and say, "I wish I had more time with my parents."

    Do people really think a day care center does a better job raising their kids than they can?

  • megen Truth or Consequences, NM
    April 21, 2012 8:01 a.m.

    I wonder if Mormons know that other faiths value motherhood. Many educate their children as well, refusing to let the state raise their kids. At times it seems that Mormons think they are the only ones who value family.

  • t702 Las Vegas, NV
    April 21, 2012 12:02 a.m.

    Dr. Laura, a huge supporter of women staying at home had been attacked and demonized by the Left and the feminist, which is rooted in the democratic party. Dr. Laura ain't mormon but the liberals' "war" against her had been on for decades way before Ms. Romney came to the picture. The 14% of women are stay at home is a huge number roughly around 10 million women, which is more than the entire mormon population in the US. The mormon stay at home mom probably make up less than 2% of the 10 million. My point is the mormon angle is irrelevant because the idea of staying at home is not unique to the mormons.

  • Sego Lilly Salt Lake City, UT
    April 20, 2012 4:00 p.m.

    Many years ago as an inactive LDS I stayed home to raise my children because I wanted to. sure my mom would have watched the kids but I didn't feel the need to work outside the home as my husband made very good money. I knew the price of everything and when the price went up or down. I paid the bills, cooked, took care of the kids and have no regrets whatsoever. Today I am an active member without kids in the home and have had a few jobs in the past few years. I wouldn't change the years of raising my children for anything.

  • DHRogers Las Vegas, NV
    April 20, 2012 3:14 p.m.

    Many articles on this topic and many of the people who post comments seem to take a tone indicating that they think Mormon women were forced, or coerced by their religion to be stay at home moms. I think it is the other way around. Mormon Women who are active, really believe the prophets, and choose of their own free will to be stay at home moms. They do this because they want to. They understand how valuable their contribution to society is as moms and that it is more important than what they could accomplish in the work force or in pursuing some other cause.

    As a man, I view my position in the work force as a supportive role to the real center of activity which is the home. My role in the workforce is one that can be filled by any number of people. I can be replaced. Nobody can replace my wife as a wife or as mother - nobody. No matter how successful or influential someone is outside the home, nothing can match the influence for good that mothers have. Without that society would fall apart no matter how successful we are in other endeavors.

  • Twin Lights Louisville, KY
    April 20, 2012 11:57 a.m.

    If ever the DN has the opportunity to rehire McKay Coppins, I hope they do.

    I miss his writing (and I am WAY older than he is).

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    April 20, 2012 11:55 a.m.

    "But lost in the hullabaloo is an angle to the story that largely went unexamined: the extent to which religion influenced her decision to be a homemaker while raising five sons."

    Wait, now we want religion to be focused upon in the race? Make up your mind.