Mom writes a letter to her sons' female Facebook friends: 'FYI (if you’re a teenage girl)'

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  • RSG Walla Walla, WA
    June 8, 2015 2:42 p.m.

    "Funny how her blog post of this has a picture of shirtless boys"

    A picture that is not titillating in the slightest. Are you just looking for things to be offended by, or is there something deeper that you need to deal with?

  • generalM Frannie, WY
    Sept. 11, 2013 6:26 p.m.

    Sanpaco: It's news because too few parents out there are involved enough in their children's lives, especially their cyber lives.
    Mrs. Hall: Great thoughts. Directly but kindly spoken. Thanks for your moral courage.

  • motherbug livermore, CA
    Sept. 10, 2013 1:21 p.m.

    Hi Kim, I just heard about your post, on Red Eye. I applaud your message and here is a copy of my posted response on Huffington Post. "
    I just heard this on Red Eye, and I was thrilled at this story. I think it's important to not only tell your children what your expectations are of them, such as you don't want them to be the kid that acts this way, that you have expectations of the person that would be acceptable for them to marry. My daughter has only had one and 1/2 boyfriends that I haven't declared in the first 5 minutes of knowing them, that "THEY ARE NOT THE BOY FOR YOU".

  • BYU_Convert Provo, UT
    Sept. 8, 2013 6:53 p.m.

    I understand the mother's intentions, but how can this mom ever expect her sons to take care of themselves when she insists on ritually invading their privacy. Yes, there are scantily-dressed people everywhere--in commercials, at music concerts, in newspapers, billboards, and at school. Now tell me, how can parents expect their children to actually experience the world and learn the difference between right and wrong for themselves when they are watched over and not allowed to deduce for themselves what is good or bad? Are parents going to panic and tell their teenage daughter to "overt your eyes" when a muscular shirtless guy is walking past them on the beach? And if this is indeed one of the primary practices of parenting in Utah, then what can kids learn for themselves in this life when they don't have that freedom to choose? A 2-year mission in a single area of the world may not be enough to experience the entire real world for what it is and to eventually survive in it. By the way, I am not from Utah.

  • clehman Sandy, UT
    Sept. 7, 2013 9:24 a.m.

    I get it. She wants her son to marry a rich girl. No crossing social lines here. If the kid were ugly or her family weren't rich, there would be no letter.

  • Wayne Rout El Paso, TX
    Sept. 7, 2013 4:37 a.m.

    sanpaco...this is news because there are so few really good parents that take this kind of time to raise their children. It's news because in most of the media you get trash, propaganda, and lies...this may be hard to recognize, but this is truth. It's news because unless we can make this kind of change in most of our families this country and everything positive we stand for is history. This is news because it is exactly opposite of what we expect to see in the today is not reporting, but liberal opinion making. Oh, and the fact that you apparently can't understand why this is news is exactly why it is news.

  • Green Shogun Pro, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 2:58 p.m.

    Meh, all it means is your girls aren't good enough for her boys. They make one mistake, bam, they're black listed. And they should make their entire profiles about her boys.

  • justice4children Mapleton, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 2:10 p.m.

    Aw, c'mon, "Uteman"....since when is everyone else responsible for 'our own personal actions'? And, "GmaWendy", what difference does it make if you're 'well endowed' or not?
    And, "JANET".....what planet are you from? Sure, there are many dedicated LDS girls AND boys out there who have been taught well-----doesn't mean that 100% of them are never going to make mistakes! That's what we're here learn how NOT to make mistakes that will have a devastating affect on the rest of our lives! Maybe it's time you personally had a few LDS lessons to find out what the true meaning behind being a 'good' person, and, not just trying to 'appear' on the surface that you are!

    Zero tolerance in the privacy of your own home is commendable...especially when all members of the family agree! Just one little 'secret' can begin a lifetime of secrets! Ask one who has had to live that way to know!

  • Wilf 55 SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 1:27 p.m.

    A non-American friend of mine visited a Mormon ward. He saw 14 years old girls with some lipstick and painted fingernails. He thought there were child prostitutes.
    It's all in the culture to sex where someone else sees innocence.

  • littlethisandthat South Weber, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 1:12 p.m.

    On a funnier note. Love this blog my friend did in response to this article that actually went viral and made it to the Huffington post.I can't post a link so type in this on google and you will find it. Hilarious for those who have nothing better to do but go around judging others. " FYI if you are a teenage boy Marisa McPeck-Stringham " . We are all on this earth together and no one is perfect.

  • Araanna Farmington, NM
    Sept. 6, 2013 12:53 p.m.

    I understand what you are trying to do. Blocking the influence, but I disagree that shaming these girls for your sons lack of control is not the way to go about it. Teach your sons to look on women, no matter what they are wearing as Daughters of God. And pull those girls aside that posted the pictures and explain to them that this is not acceptable, not only because it does help you teach your sons to honor women, but they, the girls, are worth more than their sexuality. That its just as important that the girls understand they are of worth. Plus this type of shaming also objectifies the girls as nothing more than sexual beings. I realize this might offend some, but I have seen too many young girls shamed out of church due to not having the right guidance and having 'good' women gang up on them and throw stones.

  • Hey It's Me Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 8:49 a.m.

    I went to Mrs. Halls blog post before commenting her. Are you kidding me people? Picturews of her sons at a beach outing are not the same as the pictures"selfies" she was talking about in her post. Get real. Now if her sons were posing in their bedroom with their bathing suits trying to show off abs in a sexy pose that would be something to question. However, a day at the beach where you couldn't even see their entire chest or stomach, some of you are just blowing this out of proportion. But, I wish she would have included guys as well as girls doing sexy selfies it does go both way. I am glad she spoke up. This has nothing to do with religion. . it has to do with self respect. If you don't have any, you will never earn respect.If you have to do these sexy pics just to get a guy or girls, they are not worth it! Love everything this mom said and it's great she checks their social media and talks to them about it.Good Going Mom!

  • RedneckLefty St. George, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 8:12 a.m.

    The problem with women dressing provocatively is that it makes their clothing choices a function of men's libido.

    The problem with this article, and this kind of attitude about modesty, is that it does exactly the same thing: it tells girls that their main concern when getting dressed is men's libido.

    Either way, it sends a damaging message.

    I am active LDS and the father of several boys, including a couple of teenagers. And I HATE it when people talk to girls like this around my boys. The implicit message that they get when they hear adults talking like this to girls is that boys are inherently and primarily rabid perv dogs who can only control themselves if the girls cover up.

    I teach my boys that their thoughts and actions are THEIR responsibility, no matter what anyone else does. I want to teach them that they should respect ALL women and girls, no matter what they're wearing and whether or not their clothes comply with the Strength of Youth pamphlet.

    I worry that talking to girls this way is raising a generation of boys who think their thoughts and actions are dependent on girls' choices. WRONG.

  • UtahMaus Orem, UT
    Sept. 6, 2013 7:40 a.m.

    Just a note to those responding as though the blogger is "LDS" and "from Utah," just because this was published in the Deseret News...uh, nope.

    Mrs. Hall is "director of women's ministry at a Texas Presbyterian Church." (Source: Huffington Post)

  • JD Las Vegas, NV
    Sept. 6, 2013 12:09 a.m.

    Sorry, have to disagree, this mother is not preparing her sons for the real world or to be independent adults. If you haven't raised them to make good choices by the time they are in high school, I'm afraid you are way too late to the game. Just imagine if you lived in any other state or country outside of Utah where what is deemed "normal" is completely different then in Utah. Your not allowing your sons to make good choices for themselves, which helps them grow. Instead, your sheltering them and protecting them from what? Your boys will have sexual relationships whether you like it or not. But your going to create some real messed up mentally confused sons because the real message your sending is "sexy is bad" and if you look at flesh then "your bad." Then your sons will just feel guilty all the time, why would you want to do that to your kids, life is hard enough! Hope your saving up for the therapy sessions your sons will need as adults when they struggle to form healthy sexual relationships with their spouses.

  • af_firefighter34 Tucson, AZ
    Sept. 5, 2013 10:05 p.m.

    While I agree with the notion that women should indeed respect themselves enough not to post what amounts to soft core porn shots of themselves, the concern for me here is Ms. Hall's treatment of her "boys." From the post, I would surmise that the "boys" are in college which should put them somewhere around 18. These are young men, really adults. She should have more trust in them than she is exhibiting. Part of mortality is learning and growing and it would seem that she is trying to insulate her sons from just that. We are here to live the life that God has given us. That will include mistakes because none of us have achieved perfection. And that's ok. Trying to protect your sons so vehemently that you also withhold your respect and trust from them is far more damaging than a picture of a girl in her pajamas could ever be. It sounds like you've done your best to teach them to be good men, now let them show you that they know how.

  • flatlander Omaha, NE
    Sept. 5, 2013 8:47 p.m.

    So basically you sit around the kitchen table mocking the posts on your sons Facebook?

  • The Authority Richfield, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 5:24 p.m.

    First let me say I'm not old.
    Second, let me say the little girls these days scare me!
    Third, girls if you think a guy is going to care about you for anything other than what you look like in your skimpy clothes when you post those pix on Facebook, think again. I'm a guy, and I'm here to tell you that when guys see something sexy, that's were their mind goes. Sex. Not "I really like her." Not, "I really care about her." Just, "how can I express my animalistic urges with her?" Hey, I'm not knocking it, but you know when you and your friends see a creepy guy leering at you? Yeah, when you post those pictures, you turn all guys into "that creepy guy."
    And finally, enough with the duck faces. For crying out loud, they're stupid.

  • george of the jungle goshen, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 4:49 p.m.

    For some reason, The people that was in the news a whale back that was having mental telepathy sex comes to mind.

  • superBYUfan American Fork, Utah
    Sept. 5, 2013 4:29 p.m.

    This is truly an awesome mother!! I wish more mothers would do what you did. Young girls and boys need to understand that lewd photos only promote promiscuity. Your sons and all young men need to clearly understand this when they view indecent material. Your children are fortunate to have a wise mother like you.

  • aghast SYRACUSE, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 3:53 p.m.

    While I agree that girls need to be careful and that boys tend to be more, em let's say "crass" we are avoiding some of the real issues here - the boys need to understand that this is not acceptable behavior and that "looking" at what assuredly is Facebook Friends of the authors boys might lead to more serious events than "bad thoughts" and boys "reactions". The girls actions could be more discrete, yes - but boys - if those thoughts cross your mind - please "look" elsewhere and repent. And please look inward - are those shirtless pictures and posses you have posted - in the article and elsewhere really appropriate - don't girls have those kinds of thoughts too?

  • gmawendy GARLAND, TX
    Sept. 5, 2013 3:26 p.m.

    I do agree with most of the posts up there. not double standard- ok shirtless boys are attractive but, not as inviting as braless girls [ especially those that are well endowed]

  • justice4children Mapleton, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 11:58 a.m.

    One terrific mom! Would that hundreds more were just like her! Like to see a 'girl's mom leave a similar open letter to the 'boys'! And, I love the fact that they have their 'summer session' around the dining room table as a family....what a great way to maintain family relationships!

  • Momof3teens Draper, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 9:55 a.m.

    Although in all fairness, one of my teen daughters did tell me she thinks there is a difference between a fun beach photo of kids in bathing suits and a selfie of someone in their pajamas (boy or girl) in their bedroom. Maybe that is true. I don't like my kids taking photos of themselves in their bedrooms (or in their pajamas), regardless of the pose. (Partly because their bedrooms are such a mess!) Seems like a pretty personal space that shouldn't be open for the world to see on social media, seems too intimate.

  • Momof3teens Draper, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 9:39 a.m.

    As a parent of two teen girls and one teen boy, I wholeheartedly agree with encouraging teenage girls to respect their bodies and ensure that teenage boys see them as something other than a sex object. We have many conversations about this in our home. However, I also wholeheartedly agree with the concerns voiced by comments here and elsewhere regarding double standards in the blog post. As mom of 2 teen girls (and a former teen girl myself), I can attest that teen girls get very excited about young men's abs, which are on full display in Mrs. Hall's blog posts. When our family looked at that blog post on fb, My two teen girls were VERY focused on the beach photo of those attractive young men, and it wasn't because of the nice sunset.

  • MrsH Altamont, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 9:11 a.m.

    Hooray for Mrs. Hall! I wish I could give this a thousand likes.
    I don't think she is "sheltering" her boys. It sounds like they have talked about what is appropriate and what is not. It sounds more like she is "preparing" them to be decent young men. (But it seems the world has a problem with that.) Keep up the good work lady!!

  • paintandestroy Richmond/Cache, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 8:08 a.m.


    Coming from a male perspective I couldn't disagree with you more- This reminds me of my mom growing up and I feel very fortunate for that. Thanks Moms who care!!!!

  • uteman1011 South Jordan, UT
    Sept. 5, 2013 8:00 a.m.

    is the Irony lost on anyone else? Her blog has pictures of her shirtless sons! How are women responsible for mens/boys thoughts and actions? It all started with Adam blaming Eve for tempting him and hasn't stopped. This blogger Kim has fallen into the trap of men blaming women for their own actions.

  • photographermom South Jordan, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 8:33 p.m.

    Love it! Girls stop being walking porn for all these young men! Stop sexualizing yourselves. It is not attractive, you make it incredibly difficult to raise upstanding young men when sleeze is their only option. And parents if you are ok with your daughters behaving this way then you are a colossal part of the problem. Why would you want that for your daughters??

  • Janet Ontario, OR
    Sept. 4, 2013 7:03 p.m.

    Sorry. This comes across as judgmental and self-righteous. Maybe in your world, all of the teenage girls are LDS and well taught about standards, but I've known many girls who didn't grow up that way and needed the guidance of an understanding adult role model -- and the friendship of wholesome teens. The "boys can't help being animals when girls act sexy" thinking is just a few steps from the practice of stoning (even metaphorically) the victims of rape. When your sons serve missions, they are likely to encounter all kinds of people. Your "zero tolerance" policy is hardly preparing them to be "in the world, but not a part of it."

  • Farr West OGDEN, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 6:34 p.m.

    I heartily second the comments of 'vangroovin' and 'jeanie!' We need more parents like the Halls.

  • Two For Flinching Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 6:25 p.m.

    I find Mrs. Hall overbearing and ridiculous. You aren't raising morally strong men. You are raising sheltered and naive boys. Sifting through their social media profiles reeks of mistrust, and pulling the curtain over their eyes is not going to stop them from having "urges" towards pretty girls. Honestly, it will probably make them more curious.

  • jeanie orem, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 5:24 p.m.

    This is excellent! You are a brilliant mom and what lucky boys you have!

  • sanpaco Sandy, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 5:18 p.m.

    Why is this news?

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 4:10 p.m.

    I rather liked the "FYI (if you're a teenage boy)" response blog post. Rather sums up my feelings on this matter.

  • vangroovin West Jordan, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 3:34 p.m.

    To the author, Kim Hall:

    We need more parents like you! Thank you for helping society by setting the bar high for your young men and staying in open communication with them. It makes a huge difference in how they act towards others. If young men in general have a clean mind, they are much more friendly and outgoing and engaged with others, especially the family and are a joy.

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 4, 2013 3:20 p.m.

    Funny how her blog post of this has a picture of shirtless boys. And why are they having fun with trying to identify whether or not a girl in a picture is wearing a bra? This is nothing but typical blaming of girls for whatever a guy does related to sex.