In defense of the mom on her iPhone

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  • Semw Draper, UT
    April 14, 2013 12:05 a.m.

    I have learned two things from reading both of these blog posts and the comments that went along with them.

    1. We need to stop judging other people. We don't have the whole picture.

    2. We need to look at ourselves (our heart, our actions) and make sure that we are keeping a good balance and moderation in all things. If we are, we need to ignore the judgments of others. If we aren't, we need to make changes in our own lives.

  • GeorgieBaby DENVER, CO
    April 5, 2013 8:41 a.m.

    SLC gal - What I took from RedShirt's comment was more about addiction, not motherhood. Mothers can have addictions too, and like many with addictions have behaviors that act as coping mechanisms. Everyone has these coping mechanisms, healthy or unhealthy. RedShirt has formed an opinion on observed behavior. I must say that I have seen it as well. Remember, just because a woman has given birth doesn't make her behavior untouchable for comment or beyond reproach. Same goes for fatherhood.

    I was sitting next to my 8 year old nephew in church one Sunday, and he pulled out a phone and started playing a game. I gently said, "Hey, let's wait until after church to play video games." He then replied, "My dad plays games during Sacrament Meeting." He learned it was okay to do this from his father. Just like Minnie T. said, children learn "acceptable" behaviors from their parents. If mom or dad is zoned out on some digital device and is not listening, it is broadcasting that it is okay for the child to not listen to their parents when zoned out on digital devices.

  • SLC gal Salt Lake City, UT
    April 5, 2013 8:13 a.m.

    RedShirt - my guess is you are not a mom.

    I just dont' get when it became okay to openly crticize mothers for doing this, or not doing that. Why isn't everyone free to do what works best for their own family, and not have to worry about the pressures of society.

    Check out Pintrest for a second if you doubt that we are really up against it in every sense of the word.

  • MealyMouth Alpine, UT
    April 4, 2013 6:16 p.m.

    I appreciate this article. I didn't even finish reading the original article she's responding to, because I didn't think I needed the guilt, I knew I didn't deserve it. I am an attentive and good mother. If you happen to see me talking on the phone to my mother, sister, or husband, I don't need you judging me that I'm missing a childhood. None of us, whether we are at home moms or not, will ever capture and appreciate every second of our children's lives. We will each wonder where the time went.

    We don't need guilt. Let's move on.

  • a4smith South Salt Lake, UT
    April 4, 2013 3:35 p.m.

    Great post, Krystal! Thank you for being honest about this, your opinion is valuable even if others don't agree with it.

  • Gnarmac SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    April 4, 2013 3:34 p.m.

    From the looks of my Facebook and Instagram feeds, moms with iPhones are *obsessesed* with their kids. An argument could be made that these devices are driving a culture of child-worship, where we document, photograph and share every single thing a child does, says or eats.

  • RedShirt USS Enterprise, UT
    April 4, 2013 12:38 p.m.

    This is nothing more than an excuse for a mother to ignore her kids and play on her phone. If a Mommy wants some quiet time there are better and more productive ways.

    Rather than taking the kids to the playground so that they can be ignored, how about sending their father to the playground with the kids so that they can feel valued and loved. Both win, the kids get attention from a parent and Mom can read her Facebook.

    The problem is that too many parents are addicted to their phones. Once when I was waiting to get a hair cut I watched a Mommy play games on her phone while her 2 brats ran around the store screaming, yelling, and getting into things. Her addiction to games took precidence over her kids, and that is the problem.

    As for Moms not getting open letters for taking care of their children, that is life. Since when do we get praise for doing our jobs? When was the last time your boss gave you a bonus because you showed up and did what you were asked (and nothing more)?

  • GeorgieBaby DENVER, CO
    April 4, 2013 11:50 a.m.

    Hey, mom. TAKE A DEEP BREATH! As a single middle-aged female who would have rather been a SAHM than a career professional, be careful how you sling your own mud. Worklife is not as always fun and fulfilling as you make it sound, and can also be remarkably stressful. I find in my own life, that balance is just as hard to achieve, and one doesn't have to be a mom to have problems with this. So cut the non-SAHM's some slack. It's not as glamorous as you think.

  • Minnie T. mesa, AZ
    April 4, 2013 11:31 a.m.

    Remember you are an example to the children. They will you. Your phone habits will become their phone habits. Unless you are in denial, the smart phone (small hand held computer) can be an addiction. Its also a wonderful escape when you need social interaction with friends. Mothers are so blessed to have this at their fingertips. I should also tell all the young mothers, I know they are doing their best, the task is hard. No one is perfect as a parent. I think most young mothers are amazing!

  • SillyRabbit Layton, 00
    April 4, 2013 10:33 a.m.


    Why are you so negative about her negativity? That's rather unsupportive, if you ask me.

    The point I'm trying to make is that it is simply perspective that fuels these guilt/support mommy posts. If you want to criticize, you do. If you want to support, you do. It's the audience that determines how viral it goes. If you don't want to fuel that type of sentiment, ignore it and work for yours.

    My cause is deconstructionism.