The truth about the financial, emotional, and parental hardships of divorce

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  • Nan BW ELder, CO
    June 22, 2012 8:58 a.m.

    It is true, Blue, that some marriages cannot be saved, and we need to not be judgmental. However, Betsy Hart is right, that many marriages can be saved through putting aside self-centered traits and working harder for that which will benefit everyone involved (which is a huge pool of people). It is also true, that many marriages should have never happened in the first place. Look before you leap is an applicable old maxim. Too many marriages are entered into for entirely wrong reasons.

    I see huge impace on a relative who is the only child of a couple that married young because the bride had always dreamed of a big church wedding, which she got. Now she's been married again, and the second husband was too enamored by video games. Then there were several boyfriends, and meanwhile her son lives with grandparents much of the time, who have a bunch of older foster sons. Sometimes he lives with his dad, who tried to help him learn responsibility (horrid thought). Everyone of us can tell similar stories, and we should all take marriage more seriously.

  • Blue Salt Lake City, UT
    June 22, 2012 7:19 a.m.

    I have been through a divorce. It was the most heartbreaking event of my life and was devastating to me and my children. I think about that every day.

    It was also absolutely necessary. In a very real sense it saved my life. My kids and I were in a highly dysfunctional, emotionally toxic household. We tried years of marriage counselors and "fresh start" approaches to fix what was broken. Nothing worked.

    Yes, relationships are difficult. They take constant hard work and attention to "maintenance" issues.

    But sometimes, in spite of how hard people are trying, marriages fail. The person you married so many years ago becomes someone else and no longer a person with whom you can love, share a life and raise a family.

    Divorce is a reality. Sometimes it is a necessity.

    Don't judge until you've been there yourself.