Duce's Wild: When is it OK for girls to be mean? When standards are on the line

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  • lovelbird Lovell, WY
    Feb. 3, 2012 11:54 p.m.

    I agree with the posters who think that being mean is never ok. It is always the best thing to be kind, lots of people use the account of the Savior throwing the money lenders from the temple as excuses for mean or angry behavior. What we forget is that the Savior was perfect and knew exactly how to act in any given situation. It is not a excuse for us to be mean or unkind when standing up for our convictions and what we think is right. As my mother akways told me, you can catch more flies with honey than you can with vinegar.

    I know girls (and boys) who are taught to stand up for what is right at all costs, including being mean and disrespectful, because they are taught that we cannot tolerate sinful behavior. These children/teens are very hard to be around because they are always right, some manipulate others and do it in the name of being righteous. Now, don't get me wrong, it is important to teach our children to stand up for what is right and for their beliefs, We just need to make sure they do so in a kind and respectful manner.

    As an example, my son, when he was in 2nd grade, received a detention because he stood up for what was right. He told a girl she was wrong and tried to convince her of that, the teacher intervened and told him to take back what he has said (which was true according to our LDS beliefs). He, of course would not take it back and therefor received a detention, as a mother, and believer in religious freedom, I was, of course, quite upset over the incident and my first instinct was to lamblast the teacher and school for treating my son and his beliefs this way. However, I decided first to ask him to tell me exactly what happened. Well as it turns out, he was the one being intolerant, and refused to back down. I explained that there was a better way to go about explaining our beliefs instead if saying your wrong and I'm right. He realized that if this girll had treated him, that way, he would have felt really bad, so I quoted my mother with regards to honey and helped him come up with a kinder approach to explain his beliefs.

    My point is that, yes, we need to stand up for our beliefs, we need to speak against the moral wrongs of our society, but we need to do so with kindness and respect for others and their beliefs.

  • michaelm Waukesha, WI
    Feb. 2, 2012 12:44 p.m.

    The short answer, never. There is never a time to be mean. I realize the author is trying to be clever with the mean theme but is either overly shelters and has no idea that Mean Girls in school does not imply girls who like to stand in line together, or excludes other kids form their circle. Nor is it mean when you stand up for honor, ethics, or morality and of coarse these things need to be done with kindness and love.

    In the real world mean girls are cruel, highly manipulative, dishonest, not simply unkind or erroneously not friendly while standing up for good values. Mean girls are emotionally damaging, take pleasure in the pain of others, lie, and cheat, emotionally torture, and are often very clever in manipulating others into embarrassing situations, destroying reputations and sometimes getting others to inflict physical pain and injury on others.

    Comparing getting nice kids to remember to be kind while standing up for moral and ethical behavior to what the rest of the known world understands mean girls to be is an insult to the many children, boys and girls alike who grow up dealing with the real and harmful cruelty that actual mean girls exploit with evil pleasure.

    Please be more careful with your literary devices and be sure you know what the majority understand a device like this means to most people before you try and twist it into a sanitized version that is offensive to many.

  • Pagan Salt Lake City, UT
    Feb. 2, 2012 10:19 a.m.

    'But as teenagers, now the stakes are much higher and its important for them to be strong without degrading others, firm in their standards without judging too harshly...' - Article

    **'Boy, 15, reprimanded for backing traditional family in school paper' - By Joshua Bolding, Deseret News - 01/27/12

    'Wegner's opinion included a paraphrased quote by Dr. Cameron from the Family Research Institute saying that children of gay parents are "more apt to report sexual confusion, more apt to abuse substances, less apt to get married and more apt to be SOCICALLY DISTURBED." He also quoted scriptures like Leviticus 20:13: "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an ABOMINATION: they shall surely be put to DEATH; their blood shall be upon them." - article

    I continue to use this article as an example...

    as judging others too harshly.

    I will agree, it is a fine line to be firm, but not insulting.

    And if you want to use a book of scripture to support your stance, fine.

    But comparing people to 'abominations, socially disturbed, or put to DEATH..??

    Is not needed in polite conversation.

  • J-TX Allen, TX
    Feb. 2, 2012 10:10 a.m.