Ask Angela: New YSA boundaries are a struggle — everyone is 21, and I am 30, and it's really discouraging

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  • jans Pickerington, OH
    Nov. 7, 2011 12:49 p.m.

    This is really great advice, not just for singles either. How many marrieds could do better to focus their worship and service in their wards, without thinking about the social aspect and how it will benefit them? How many of us marrieds can benefit from Dinner Parties to make and keep friends? I think this advice is especially good in areas where there is a high concentration of LDS people, because we get too focused on the 4 square blocks that make up our ward boundaries and forget the people who live beyond those boundaries (including our non-LDS neighbors and co-workers who would probably like to make more friends too!).

  • Bill in Nebraska Maryville, MO
    Nov. 7, 2011 12:32 p.m.

    To Doctor: No where in the article say that you are only to date within the Ward/Branch. In fact, what it says is to become involved in it. There is a huge difference in dating and becoming involved in the Ward/Branch. Many singles are intimidated in a family ward where they aren't in a singles ward. However, they do date outside of the ward because they met someone at an activity and dated. This person could live in a completely different area of the state or in another ward.

    Your comment I believe simply misleads others.

  • Vienna25 Anchorage, AK
    Nov. 6, 2011 4:00 p.m.

    In my opinion, feeling that you have a place and role in a ward (should) have no correlation to your outlook on potential marriage partners.

    The real friends you have - the ones that don't change when ward boundaries change - are the ones with whom you can and should identify. They are the ones that share your hobbies, perspective, and worries. If this seems to lack, because people do marry and move away, consider setting goals of spending time with people you usually don't or going where you haven't been before or joining a class to develop yet another talent.

    Church can stay reserved as your haven where you learn to follow the teachings of Christ through service and worship. You've been through the rough years of school, of first interviews, of failed first loves. Help those in your ward who are rookies.

    PS. Newly-weds have a plethora of single friends they are trying to hook up. ;)

  • Doctor Tucson, AZ
    Nov. 6, 2011 3:55 p.m.

    If church leadership restricted you to dating within your ward would you obey? Why is this a point mentioned more then once?

  • Timj South Jordan, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 6:02 a.m.

    I'd also recommend looking into mid-singles wards and groups, created for singles in their 30's and early 40's. You might not be eligible to be an official member of a mid-singles ward until you're 31, but they might allow you to participate in activities anyway.