C. Jane Kendrick: Short-term marriage loss

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    Nov. 17, 2011 6:53 p.m.

    C. Jane, my sympathies on your short first marriage and congratulations on having found happiness and joy with your second.

    But just for the record, you were able to "try, try again" after the "humiliation and despair of a failed marriage" that ended because "we really weren't so good for each other" in large part because of those feminists you are so eager to distance yourself from and the "equality" they espouse. Fair and equitable divorce laws are just one thing that "equality" has done for you.

  • Southern California Redondo Beach, CA
    Nov. 8, 2011 5:07 p.m.

    Stop with the "judging" factor. Please. That's why there are newspaper articles -- to judge! To form an opinion! And PLEASE -- no more 'gays should be able to marry too.' Like, who cares?? Even the gay people I know don't want to bother with it.

  • kam Layton, UT
    Nov. 7, 2011 6:55 p.m.

    I think everyone's situation is unique. It's rather difficult to accurately judge the life you have not lived. We don't know all the details of the author's divorce, nor do we need to. What I got from this article was the courage someone had to follow personal spiritual guidance. Is the option of "divorce" advocated,sold to, or promoted in this article? That's not the impression I personally got. I did feel that the author learned life lessons and attempted to share them. The one thing that I didn't quite get was the need for a tie in with the Kardashian divorce. It is big news in the media, but in my opinion, it shouldn't be. I personally wouldn't have used that as a supporting pillar in an article meant to be taken seriously. That's my only complaint. The Kardashians, something tells me, are doomed to make the same Ill fated "choice" in matrimony repeatedly.

  • jetgirl MAPLE VALLEY, WA
    Nov. 6, 2011 6:33 p.m.

    Dearest CJane- You are so brave to share this since obviously people feel inclined to let you know that they think you were wrong. With your tender heart, I hope you are not spending too much time worrying over what they have said.

    I also hope that anyone condemning you would step back and wonder what it would be like if their past mistakes were public? Would they hope we would view them as who they had become rather than who they were when those mistakes were made?

    I think in our LDS community we spend a lot of time saying, "Well, they don't know better, they're not LDS." But then we go on to judge each other without reservations because we "should know better".

    Many times we only know better because we've learned from our mistakes. And we are allowed mistakes thanks to the atonement and a loving Heavenly Father who sent us here to do exactly what you have done: learn.

  • Reasonable Person Layton, UT
    Nov. 6, 2011 2:51 p.m.

    40 years for us, and we're sure and steady.
    We met as friends and THEN fell in love (and we still are).
    A great daughter, a great son-in-law and two grand dogs.

    Like ClarkKent, we're not LDS. We're not even believers. But we do have a strong moral foundation that we've built upon.

  • awsomeron Waianae, HI
    Nov. 6, 2011 2:44 p.m.

    Mistakes are called life and life happens. If you never made a mistake you never had a life and need to go get one. At least wipe with the wrong hand now and then.

    Most Religions say that in the End there is Gods Judgement and Gods Grace, (forgiveness after all that we can do). Nothing about mans judgement or mans lack of Grace. Just God and his Joy and his Glory.

    I am sure God is very pleased with the Writers kids and hubby and family. Note that during her rough period she did have family suppoort. Always leave the door open for your son or daughter to come home. I know you are going to fight the next day but not in front of the the Grandkids and not till after Toast and Jelly and not till after prayer. If you Pray First most times you don't fight you discuss.

    If you don't want to do what you know you have to do for your kid then do it for your Grandkids. Bloodline First. God may either extend your years or give you Joy In Your Journey or both.

    Cup Full Taped Down Overflowing with blessings.

  • awsomeron Waianae, HI
    Nov. 5, 2011 9:17 p.m.

    I did not think i was going to get away with the last one but thought I would try anyway.

    There can be as many reasons for a Short Marriage as there are Short marriages. Everyone is different. Perhaps in the case of some it is best to end things sooner then later.

    Abuse should head the list and only be allowed once. 7 reported over years tends to be the average.

    I am sure that there are couples getting married today, who will find out later today that things may not be what they are cracked up to be.

    You face a lot more problems if you can't feed and support yourselfs after you get married. Actions, interactions and restrictions being what they are. You can neither Screm in Anger nor Delight. A good O cought in its silent scream is not much fun.

    Marriage is a lot of hard work but there is Joy in the Journey. If you find out you do not want to do the hard work early perhaps out is best.

    Our Job is not to Judge. It takes being Brave to say you where wrong.

    More Brave to try again.

  • Y Ask Y Provo, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 6:20 p.m.

    That is a good concept: Judge not that ye be not judged, for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged...

    As regards marriage, I am perfectly willing to be judged by the same judgment by which I judge others.

    Nov. 5, 2011 1:23 p.m.

    Jane, I applaud you for your courage to write this article! It is not an easy thing to open yourself up to public scrutiny. Many seem to think they have all the answers, but none of us do. Even prophets have said, "I do not know the meaning of all things" (1 Nephi 11:17.)

    I knew my wife for only two months when we got married. I am grateful to be married to my best friend for almost 30-years! Our marriage nearly ended, but she saw how much I loved her and wanted to change. My wife also decided to change. It took years of individual and joint therapy, and God's help to save our marriage.

    We don't know why your marriage ended, and that is your business. One thing I do know is it takes two to make a marriage work. If one spouse refuses to work on the relationship then there is nothing you can do to force them to change. We can only have power to change ourselves.

    Bottom line: I think what your article is saying is, "be careful how you judge others," and maybe "judge as you would like to be judged."

  • Y Ask Y Provo, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 11:00 a.m.

    Aspen1713 is criticizing and judging everyone for criticizing and judging.

    You gotta' love the irony (and hypocrisy) of that one. I guess that tells us who is NOT "exemplary"?

    I have been happily married for almost 30 years. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I consider my life to be exemplary.

    Deal with it.

  • JP71 Ogden, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 10:49 a.m.

    The comment of dont Judge is a scapegoat for those who cannot adequately argue their position or what to justify a morally wrong position. Again, Elder Oaks explained the difference between righteous judgment and unrighteous judgment in his talk Judge Not and Judging. To say that a principal that a person is teaching is wrong is righteous judgment. In the Mormon faith marriage is one of the most sacred ordinances there is. Divorce should almost never be an option, and should only be used in the most extreme situations. Most divorces are brought about because two people choose to not put forth the effort. You dont just stop loving someone or not get along with someone. Love is a verb. You choose to stop loving someone.

  • weezbird SANDY, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 10:24 a.m.

    C. Jane! I just want you to know that I think you are awesome, wonderful, beautiful, relatable, refreshing, and inspiring. Your posts are always so thought provoking and honest. THANK YOU!! Thank you for always being true to yourself despite what others think. I think the ignoramuses should leave the judging to God and His leaders.

  • Aspen1713 SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 10:01 a.m.

    Some of you should worry less about the divorce rate and more about the fact that you apparently can't feel anything but judgment for someone else. What happened to empathy, compassion, the humility to understand that you don't know everything that goes on in someone else's life? All apparently less important virtues than condemning strangers.

    I don't know CJane Kendrick (or Kim Kardashian for that matter), but I do know a few people in this boat and I am glad they respected THEMSELVES more than an institution. No one should feel obligated to tell strangers the private details of their marriage so they won't be judged for their decision to divorce. And PS, no one gets divorced because it's such a fun thing to go through.

    She published it as a plea to lay off those who have made this mistake, to stop taking glee in others' misfortunes. Schadenfreude much? Until you've led an exemplary life, maybe keep your thoughts on who you do and don't respect to yourself. And something tells me the truly exemplary among us won't bother to be such jerks.

  • Y Ask Y Provo, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 4:28 a.m.

    If she didn't want us to evaluate her relationship, she should not have published it.

  • Y Ask Y Provo, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 1:30 a.m.

    She made her short marriage everybody's business by publishing it for thousands of people to read!

    If she didn't want to be judged, she should not have made it public.

    I lose respect for people who do not respect marriage to such an extent that they don't take it seriously in the first place, marry quickly and too young, then give up on it in such a short time.

  • Aspen1713 SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Nov. 5, 2011 12:13 a.m.

    To all the people condemning divorce as being anti-LDS ... do you think it is possible to have a "celestial" marriage between two people who don't like each other? Who don't respect each other? Who regret having married each other? Who struggle to tolerate each other? Who flat-out are not right for each other? And even if those people did manage to "endure to the end," do you think a loving Heavenly Father would keep them together for eternity?

    The author is currently married with 2 kids and another on the way. Who are you to say she made the wrong decision when she realized she had made a mistake in her first marriage and sought a divorce?

    People make mistakes, including getting into bad marriages. They shouldn't be forced to live with them instead of ending them just because someone else thinks it's the "right" thing to do.

    Everyone - worry about your own relationships. Leave other peoples' alone.

  • 3Girls Mapleton, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:20 p.m.

    @1aggie - It seems that statistics show that marriages following "living together" are more likely to end in divorce than those who do not do so. That certainly is not the answer.

    It's interesting that so many can sit here and judge another person's life choices! Yes, some comments may be hurtful to cjane, but more likely than not, the one making the comments is the one who suffers the most, because their judgments will be condemned and they will end up being judged as harshly as they choose to judge others. The commandment to not judge others seems to have had the judger in mind more than the judgee, no?

    Cjane, thank you for being candid. No one gets through this life without "learning experiences" that are most often referred to as mistakes. Sheesh! Didn't we come here to learn? How else would we do it without some trial and error? I'm glad you're not perfect. Now THAT would be hard to take!

  • 1aggie SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 10:22 p.m.

    It seems like these short marriages could be avoided if people would just live together before getting married.

  • Sarah B SLC, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 10:14 p.m.

    I feel bad that people are juding Jane harshly. Why she ended her first marriage isn't anyone's business. I'm sure they had their very valid reasons for ending it. I'm just glad she's happy now.

    I also feel bad for Kim K. I've watched her reality show and always thought he was a stupid neanderthal. He seems very selfish and immature and controlling. I'm glad she got out before any kids came along.

  • ldsnebraska LINCOLN, NE
    Nov. 4, 2011 9:39 p.m.

    Seems to me that some of these readers are suffering from a false sense of arrogance- so much so that they feel they can comment and judge someone elses marriage. The author was simply relating her experience. You can choose to read it or not. Approve or not. Agree or not. But at what point does it become ok to degrade, belittle and rudely comment on someone elses life? Seriously people- get over yourselves. You're just being mean. Kind of sad your mamas didn't teach you better manners.

    As for Cjane- you have to do what feels right in your heart and act with conviction and faith, and that's all you can do. This life is your test, your lesson and in the end you alone will answer for your choices. We were taught that clear back in sunbeams. Free agency was one of greatest gifts ever given...how else would we learn life's lessons and mature our spirits!? How else would we be able to rectify our mistakes and be given second chances? It's the way His plan was meant to work.

  • othrpplschick Smallville, OH
    Nov. 4, 2011 9:18 p.m.

    Here's a question for you--I wonder how *you* would fare if you ever had the task of wrapping up a difficult time in your life in the packaging of an essay? I bet it might be harder than you'd think to get it right--because it's your story, your very own...full of things you'd want to share but some you'd hold too dear to let out. You'd probably want people to know that, too--that there was more to the story than they could read there on the page (or in our case, screen). You'd want them to take a spiritual breath before condescending, or judging, or thinking they knew even the slightest bit about your experience...let alone enough to put right there on the forever-net that they now thought less of you.

    Your State of Grace Ambassador

  • Y-Ask-Y? Provo, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 7:45 p.m.

    I must confess, I did not have a very high opinion of Kim Kardashian because of this short marriage thing. It seems she either rushed into it, or got married for the wrong reasons, or was just plain wishy washy and uncommitted.

    But after eading this article, I have had a change of heart.

    Now I must confess I do not have as high an opinion of C. Jane Kendrick, too.

  • peter Alpine, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 7:00 p.m.

    Every relationship needs acceptance, affection, and appreciation to sustain it and help it flourish. When both parties have common interests, it helps strengthen the bonds within that relationship, but it doesn't create a deep and lasting relationship. Common characteristics that kill any relationship are critcism, contention, and the most subtle and destructive of them all, control. It's odd, but we marry someone for who they are, and once we tie the knot, we want to change them. One's identity, personal freedom and space should not be lost when marital vows are started. Finally, the foundation of every true and lasting friendship is a belief in another, and the ability to trust him/her.

  • Anon 808 Waianae, HI
    Nov. 4, 2011 6:55 p.m.

    I was just coming on board with Awe when his Short marriage happened needless to say it was a huge mess.

    It would be another 20 years before he would finally come in out of the cold.

    The trouble is when we date we are always on our best behavior and do nothing that could spoil the the relationship to include fart loudly.

    Dating proves nothing and reveals little. Neither does shacking up. Often the person does not know themselfs let alone the other person. The entire world of Marriage vs being Single is vastly different.

    To the person who wanted the couple to wait till the girlfriend had served her Mission my Question is while containing extreme outrage is How long do you expect young people to wait before starting life? Gordon B. and Marge where 27 but they are the exception.

    I joined in 88 and hve served 2 Stake Missions, 1 Safford Az. and 1 Las Vegas. I am now a Ward Missionary. Spencer K. Ment to Serve a Mission 24/7/365 Where and as you are. Not to hold yourself for extreme periods of time.

    That is so out of context.

  • Cats Somewhere in Time, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 6:51 p.m.

    My husband and I knew each other a month and a half when we got married. We have a VERY successfull Temple marriage. Would I advise someone to do the same. NO! Ours was the once-in-a-million time that it worked with such a short time. But, what really matters is that it is the right person--not the length of courtship.

    I have known a couple that knew each other for an "appropriate" length of time and even attended marriage counseling before tieing the knot. That marriage lasted nine months. The wrong choice is wrong no matter how long the courtship is. These people were shallow and dysfunctional. What matters is that you pick someone who is mature, stable, has character and is spiritually strong.......and with whom you have A LOT in common.

    Choose well! That's the key to success.

  • SteveD North Salt Lake, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 4:59 p.m.

    The government should not be involved in marriage. It is a personal commitment that counts and not a piece of paper filed at the courthouse that matters.
    The entire concept of marriage is based on a religious ideology and has no business being controlled by the government. Why do we get tax deductions because of marital status, what does that have to do with running a government?
    Gay, straight, or otherwise, has nothing to do with tax base or societal success. The politicians should just butt out and let American adults decide their own fate.

  • metamoracoug metamora, IL
    Nov. 4, 2011 4:56 p.m.

    Utexmom: very well said! Kudos for putting into words what I wanted to!

  • bobosmom small town, Nebraska
    Nov. 4, 2011 3:44 p.m.

    I married late in life. I love my husband but it hasn't been all blissful. We've been through deaths of my parents, financial reversals and not seeing eye to eye on things, but I love him and am comitted to make it work. We will.be celebrating our 18 wedding anniversary . We had a small simple wedding and it was wonderful.

  • awsomeron1 Oahu, HI
    Nov. 4, 2011 2:55 p.m.

    Great Article, I also was a Victim of a Brief Marriage.

    40+ years later it still hurts. Only in my case there was a child, a child concived while I was in Viet Nam. A patch work put togeather until the child was born, and then poof off into the sunshine. Letters till you get out, in 2 1/2 years and then we will talk about it. There is hope!! Then the Divorce Papers being served.

    If I had one thing to do over, I would have held the Quarters, said it was a child birth recovery and bonding time with grandma and family. Held that position till the divorce was final then gotton remarried the next day and kept the Quarters till I got out. Much better catch as an E5 over 5 with a nice two story condo then as an E-5 living in the Barracks. Driving an old Ford 500. Hot is Hot Barrack are not.

    At least you had No Kids and put your life back togeather.

    I did Vegas also but on the cheap.

    I got it right in 1988 and I write from Hawaii.

    I see you got it right also.

  • Utexmom Flower Mound, TX
    Nov. 4, 2011 2:28 p.m.

    It may surprise some people to know that other people experience kinds of problems that you never even knew existed. Some things can't be put up with and some divorces aren't about not getting along, but about not putting up with things that would ruin your life. Abuse is one of those things, but there are other things also. To judge others based on your own narrow view that other people's marriages are at the same difficulty level that yours is at is ignorant. I know that you mean well, but some things you just have to leave between others and God. Let Him be the one to judge. Our duty is to bless other people's lives in any way we can.

    I have never been divorced. I just am thankful for the blessings I have.

  • dricha65 Provo, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 2:24 p.m.

    It seems there are too many comments about the many imperfections of an ex-spouse or ex-fiancee. Often times in the same breath the implied innocence and wonderful qualities of you, your friend, or sibling etc. I commend the author for not going down this road and simply expressing the truth about the difficulty in marriage.

    I wish there was more respect and reverence for marriage. Too many people take marriage lightly and find themselves unprepared for the rocky relationship they created. I agree with the above comments about how silly a big wedding is especially when the actual marriage is neglected.

    Getting married was the biggest decision in my life. I knew before I got married the havoc and damage that can be created if things fall apart. Likewise, the potential friendship, family and happiness that is hard to find elsewhere.

    I have many friends who had arranged marriages and actually all of them have had wonderful marriages. I really don't think there is any benefit to getting to know someone any longer than they did and still have a great marriage. I think it is more a matter of maturity and commitment.

  • JP71 Ogden, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 2:05 p.m.

    I feel for anyone that may be in an abusive marriage but, the authors article makes marriage seem trivial. The core principal of the article is that its ok to get out of a marriage if things are not working out. If the author wanted to talk about how she got out of an abusive marriage she should have done that or not have brought it up at all. Elder Oaks stated "The kind of marriage required for exaltation, eternal in duration, & godlike in quality does not contemplate divorce". There are obvious exceptions i.e. abuse, but this should be the rule in most cases.

  • Truthseeker SLO, CA
    Nov. 4, 2011 1:56 p.m.

    I applaud the author's honesty in sharing her story, courage in ending a bad marriage and restraint in not trashing her ex.

    The decision to get married can be very tricky. Sometimes even people who've dated for a few years will go through with a wedding because they've invested so much time in the relationship, only to get divorced later. Statiscally speaking, the older one is before getting married, and the more educated one, is the lower divorce rate.
    It is way better to end a bad marriage early than to wait until kids come into the picture, hoping things will improve.

  • abcmom SLC, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 1:32 p.m.

    I think one huge point the author is trying to make here is that we all make mistakes. Some people chose a person who they shouldn't marry and go through with the wedding. It's really easy to say you wouldn't have made this mistake or that mistake that someone else has made but we weren't there and we haven't experienced what others have. Sure it's not a choice some of us would have made but we're all here in life to learn. Everyone is going to be some mistakes along the way.

  • SillyPie Salt Lake, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 1:02 p.m.

    I realize the article does not go into this, but having read Courtney's work previously, the relationship between her and her first husband was described as "unhealthy in almost every way." The author is laying a lot on the line here for you to read, perhaps just take things at face value and give people the benefit of the doubt. One does not end a marriage without great thought and confliction. Starting a marriage brings all sorts of happy distractions; the ending, not so much. Such a difficult decision to make.

  • Lake! Big Lake! CHANDLER, AZ
    Nov. 4, 2011 12:16 p.m.

    We all know if our future marriages will result in a disaster or not. You get promptings and intuition! My fiancee hid mental illness from me. He also informed me that he was quitting his job to become a professional tennis player. 2 days before the day, I called it off. Let me tell you.. there is enormous pressure to not let people down. My Dad told me that not marrying this guy was worth all of the $$$ he paid for the un-wedding. Now I"m on a 20 year marriage to a man I had no doubt about.

  • RanchHand Huntsville, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:55 a.m.

    "it's nice to know you can take advantage of one of the finest: the ability to try, try again."


    You know, it's rather ironic that you should say that.

    Kim get's to "try, try again" and many of us don't even get to "try" at all.

  • ClarkKent Bountiful, Utah
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:54 a.m.

    22 years here. The first few years were difficult, but we were both committed to working thru problems and remembering why we married. The remaining years have been pretty much a cake walk and continue to get better and better. Glad we both held to our commitment to marriage. Oh and I'm not LDS -- some of us "black sheep" also hold to our wedding vows!

  • Kyle loves BYU/Jazz Provo, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:37 a.m.

    I recommended a Pagan comment. I might have to go to counseling. JK. Way too much goes into weddings these days and not enough goes into marriage.

    I admire the author for being able to be so candid. I'm sure many will judge her, but she doesn't hide the truth and I admire that.

  • Demisana South Jordan, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:17 a.m.

    My husband and I got engaged 3 weeks after we met. Got married almost a year after we met, due to circumstances beyond our control. We celebrated our 21st year this past summer. My oldest brother was engaged after 3 months, married at 6 months, and has now been married for 26 years. It's not the time, it's whether or not it's the right person, and whether both are committed to the marriage and to making it work.

    As she says in her article, she should have had the courage to call it off before they got married. Sounds like she already knew it wasn't right before she ever did it.

  • TheWalker Saratoga Springs, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:16 a.m.

    Divorce is becoming increasingly accepted in our society, even among those that would call themselves Saints. I do not see this author as being courageous but rather taking an easy out.

    In other cultures (India for example) where divorce is not accepted socially, somehow people that hardly know each other manage to stay married the vast majority of the time. The secret is not 'knowing' the other person, IMHO, but rather being determined to work out the differences, patiently, and over time.

  • metamoracoug metamora, IL
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:06 a.m.

    Pagan: it doesn't happen often, but I agree with you! (momentary celebratory dance)

    Seriously, I can never understand spending $10s of thousand of dollars on a wedding. What a waste! I've been very proud of the three weddings that my sons have been involved in. All have been very tastefully done on very tight budgets. moreover, the marriages have so far been successful.

    To the article author: thanks for an interesting take on this timely subject.

  • Shamal Orlando, FL
    Nov. 4, 2011 11:05 a.m.

    The truth is that you will never really know the person until you've spent a few years fully committed to each other. You are not going to learn much more about a person in two years than you will from seeing each other every day for six months.

    There is no question that being older lends itself to more mature decisions, but that has hardly kept so many couples from wonderful lives together.

    Thinking that one must wait until their late 20s and spend years with a person to ensure the skeletons are out of the closet is to me a defeated and dismal attitude.

    Young twenty somethings are very capable of learning and identifying qualities that matter in themselves and in other people. Hopefully they learn that from home and spend a few years putting that into practice while dating.

    Unfortunate things happen not just in marriage, but I think their is much the mature can learn from the young, meek and hopeful.
    Thank goodness the only marriage that I have to worry about is my own and what I'm teaching my kids by example.

  • JP71 Ogden, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 10:30 a.m.

    Im sorry, but I respectfully disagree with the whole premise of your article. To basically say that its the brave and honest thing to quite a marriage after a few months just because there are some problems is ludicrous and harmful to society. If youre being beaten or abused thats one thing but if you are having a hard time getting along all I have to say is welcome to the real world of marriage. A husband or wife is not a boyfriend or girlfriend that you can just decide you are tired of.

    You mentioned that you are Mormon? This article does not reflect LDS values and I hope those who read this article will know that. Elder Oaks talk Divorce clearly states the Churchs position divorce.

  • BYU Track Star Los Angeles, CA
    Nov. 4, 2011 10:16 a.m.

    @happymomto9 ,

    My Home Teacher dropped by and told me his son, an RM. was engaged to a girl, 22. After dating her for FIVE Months!!! . My HT was very offended that I suggested she should go on her Mission as she had submitted her mission papers. (and BTW the Human brain doesn't mature til the Mid-20s) So much for following Pres. Kimball's "Every member a missionary". Of course my HT married his wife after dating her for all of FOUR months!!!! Are these people INSANE??? You don't know somebody after Four or Five months. The author of this article would agree that a longer coutship would avoid that nasty sting of divorce.

    Once upon a time, At BYU there was a saying going around: "Marry in haste. Repent at your leisure"

  • happymomto9 Saratoga Springs, UT
    Nov. 4, 2011 8:36 a.m.

    i still don't get it?!
    isn't that why we date? to get to know the other person? what do you find out after marriage that you didn't know before? (sex aside, but after 9 kids i'd be happy to put that aside. :> )
    and why all the big hoopla for a wedding? is that why it's done? or is that why it's so hard to back out before?

  • Christy Beaverton, OR
    Nov. 4, 2011 12:17 a.m.

    From the article:

    So I say, good luck to you, Kim Kardashian. In your world of luxury, it's nice to know you can take advantage of one of the finest: the ability to try, try again.


    Yes, Kim can, for the 3rd time next time, try again.

    You got to try again.

    My first marriage lasted 4 years. My husband and I going on 17 years and strong now.

    My brother is getting divorced after 6 months, after a beautiful wedding we all flew in for. I thought it was such a happy occasion.

    It bothers me so much that we're free to do this, whereas my gay friends, all who've been together in committed, loving relationships for years and years - some with children, others not - are not allowed the same state right that you and I are allowed.

    Gay couples wanting to marry can't possibly do any worse than the rest of us have done to the so called 'sanctity' of 'traditional marriage'. In fact, some of them might show us a thing or two about real commitment.

  • Everest American Fork, UT
    Nov. 3, 2011 11:08 p.m.

    C Jane, I appreciate you wearing your heart on your sleeve and giving us all some inspiration. Not everybody can be such an open book. Thank you.

  • Pagan Salt Lake City, UT
    Nov. 3, 2011 10:01 p.m.

    'It should be noted, as well, the next time I married (a year and a half later), I eloped to Las Vegas. I had also learned my lesson about stressful, pricey, showboat weddings.' - Article

    Well said!

    The WEDDING should last a few hours.

    The MARRIAGE, should last a lifetime. :)

  • Reynaldito SLC, UT
    Nov. 3, 2011 9:21 p.m.

    Thought-provoking, humble essay. Thank you. You give us all hope.

  • Herbal Tea Partier Taylorsville, UT
    Nov. 3, 2011 7:55 p.m.

    I appreciate your unique and unexpected turn at the Kardashian story. Your article really brought the reader in. Happy that your story has a happy ending (or should I say beginning).