Mormon Parenting: Why we're mad about Sundays

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  • Mel50 Nashville, TN
    Nov. 21, 2011 1:03 a.m.

    Another commnet - I worked with a woman who belonged to a mega-church and she frequently spoke about the social aspects of it (moreso than anything spiritual). She talked of how her "group" would go out to eat after meetings on Sunday. One day I challenged her on it, and asked if she ever thought about the fact that they were making other people work on Sunday and perhaps hindering those workers from attending church. She said "if we don't go out that restaurant won't automatically close", but I said at least she wouldn't bear any responsibility for making them work. She actually came back to me a couple days later and said she'd been thinking about it and decided that no, she didn't feel any guilt about eating out on Sundays.

    So joeblow and the others on here who don't want us to impose our morality on you - remember your choices impact people who might want to observe the Sabbath according to the dictates of their own conscience, but can't because they have to cut your hair or serve your food or ring up your groceries.

    BTW - Chik-fil-a and Hobby Lobby rock and get my business.

  • Mel50 Nashville, TN
    Nov. 21, 2011 12:42 a.m.

    I work in a family haircutting shop and Sundays are a big day for us, and we are required to work Sundays to be considered "full-time flexible" and eligible for benefits. What has been hardest to deal with for me are the families who come in, still in their church clothes, to get haircuts. I so want to say to them "it's nice that YOU got to go to church, but because you choose to come here to get a haircut, I don't get to go to church." Their free agency to not observe the Sabbath took away MY free agency to keep it. So finally after 27 years of working Sundays, I have said "no more". I am now officially unavailable to work Sundays. As a result, I have lost 3 weeks of vacation, 5 paid holidays, and have had my hours reduced by 25%. I'm looking for a part-time job to make up the difference, or maybe a complete career change. And I pray Heavenly Father will bless me for my efforts to keep His day holy.

  • silverbear Goshen, UT
    Nov. 17, 2011 11:08 a.m.

    according to Genesis, God created the world and rested on the 7th. The Sabbath runs from friday at sunset til saturday at sunset. I have found no where except in words by supposed disciples of Jesus that it was moved to sunday. By the way Sunday in the roman calender was named to represent worshipping of the greatest out of many Gods.

  • One of Vai's Cousins DC, Washington
    Nov. 12, 2011 6:28 a.m.

    The Sabbath COULD be a wonderful day for all if the following occurred:

    1. Every other Sunday, the entire Ward met at the church for 3 hours of strategically planned community service. Coordinate with community organizations and other churches to maximize the value provided.

    2. Every other Sunday was a day for the family to just be together to rest, relax and enjoy each other as each family saw fit.

    We would both serve and love others and strengthen our bonds as families - which in my mind is what the Gospel is all about.

    The alternative is a continuation of the mindless, repetitive, recycled, watered-down lessons and talks for 3 hours each Sunday we all enjoy and a guaranteed increase in the church-wide activity rate of about 35%.

  • milojthatch Sandy, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 11:21 p.m.

    I actually agree with many of the things said in this article. But if I may, I know why Sunday has become another day of the week, and honestly, I don't think many who would read this will like the answer. It comes down to money. I've spent over a decade in retail, and in that time I've learned a few ugly truths.

    Think about it? Most jobs are still more of a Monday to Friday thing, so there are a lot of people off on the weekend. Saturday can be a wash for many as it end up the day people recover from Friday parties the night before and/ or the day they do their house work.

    So, Sunday ends up being the day to play. And business that specialize in play time (shopping, sports) know this. Sports are on Sunday to gain the best possible ratings as the most people will be home then. Sunday ends up being a big shopping day as folks are off work to shop. Fact is, in this nation we worship money more then God. The Free Market killed the Sabbath Day being very blunt. Think about it.

  • NDM Vienna, Austria
    Nov. 11, 2011 6:52 p.m.

    To nanniehu: You're right. President Packer has reminded us, "When you schedule a youngster, you schedule a parent," and more whimsically, "It takes a good meeting to make up for no meeting." To clarify: I am not referring to any one ward/branch/stake. I'm in the bishopric myself at the moment. I raised my family in nine wards in four countries, all of them prone to exhausting Sundays. As Mamacita3 points out, members often are burdened with multiple callings, and a release from one just means picking up another. I know LDS kids who never knew a time when Dad was not the bishop or a member of the stake presidency and Mom was not president of a ward or stake auxiliary.

    Not all of the demands are under local control. Sometimes the good Church Office Building staffers and auxiliary board members from Bountiful and Sandy who chart the programs forget to add non-Utah travel time and stress to the hours in all the "at least" meetings they write into the manuals.

    But we local leaders can still do a lot. If nothing else, we can add avoidable Church busy work to our list of Sabbath "don'ts."

  • The Atheist Provo, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 6:23 p.m.

    I love living in Utah and enjoying the Sabbath Day. Because most everyone is in Church, seeing a movie in the theaters is like having a private showing. It is easy to get a table at the restaurants, which are uncrowded. Driving through the streets is wonderful, as traffic is almost nonexistent. The stores that are open are thin with customers, so we can enjoy a non crowded, unrushed time shopping.

    There are some downsides. When I mow my lawns and work in the yard, all the LDS people walking to Church give me the "evil eye". Those who know me generally smile and say hello. Some of them stop and chat briefly before going on to sit for three long hours in their meetings. I always offer my LDS friends a cup of strong coffee or black tea to keep them awake for their three hour meeting marathon. They politely refuse, but many of them already had a 32 oz. Diet Coke anyway.

    The other downside is the handful of stores that LDS people openly boycotted to coerce them into closing on Sundays. The one I miss the most is Sunflower Market in Orem. That was wrong IMHO.

  • nanniehu Wendover, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 6:04 p.m.

    It never ceases to amaze me that people take these articles so literally. The Eyres do have a right to their opinion, and yes, they can be annoyed at others who don't agree, just the same as you express your annoyance at them. I see several agree with the Eyres, and others making excuses. It's hard to explain the blessings of Sabbath day worship to those who would rather "kick against the pricks" because they view it as a restriction instead of an opportunity for personal growth. I for one am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who loved us enough to give us some basic guidelines for a happier life. Isn't it wonderful that He gave us the brains to figure out how to adjust our schedules accordingly in order to do His will and still enjoy the blessings of living in this beautiful world?

  • Joggle Clearfield, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 5:46 p.m.

    If your beliefs hold the Sabbath as a holy day, a day of rest, or day for religious observance then go ahead and observe it in whatever spiritual or religious way you want, but you can't expect or be annoyed because many others who don't believe the same in society don't observe it in the way the article writers prefer.

    I often find Sundays to be a more peaceful time to shop because there are less adults as well as less screaming and disruptive children in the stores. If I spent every Sunday in a church observing the Sabbath (which will NEVER happen)I would have little time to commune with nature! Besides....rumor has it that God is everywhere so it is my opinion that you don't need a church, temple, or whatever to find him, her, or it.

  • djk blue springs, MO
    Nov. 11, 2011 4:52 p.m.

    does bring sadness to watch many loose the respect for the Sabbath day. as for me and my home we observe the Sabbath with great respect. kbyutv is on and church is enjoyed. i have a friend that says 'my church is the church of whatever i want to do'. someday my friend will know differently.
    i look forward to the sabbath day each week.

  • Unwell Canton, MA
    Nov. 11, 2011 4:48 p.m.

    Part of my post got cut off...

    *May I is a family doing something recreational together seriously a negative thing? I

  • Unwell Canton, MA
    Nov. 11, 2011 4:47 p.m.

    Every Sunday after church my dad and I would drive to the local 7-11 to buy both Sunday papers and also get a Big Gulp. We'd drive back after an hour to pick up my mom from Choir Practice and my mother would be just SO upset that we spent money and went for a drive on the Sabbath (usually we'd head West towards the Great Salt Lake to relax and have some great father-daughter time). I couldn't understand it, we weren't hurting anyone, and it almost made me feel bad about a nice time. I'm no longer a practicing Mormon, and my family does all sorts of things on Sunday. It may be homework that couldn't be completed all week, housework, just sleeping in and being lazy or going for a nice long drive. It's a great day every week to do precisely what you want. I love my version of Sundays.

    May I is a family doing something recreational together seriously a negative thing? I

  • A Man's Perspective Salt Lake City, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 3:38 p.m.

    The Sabbath is truly a delight for me. It is all the much better for me when the TV is turned off, and physical activities are limited. This may not be true for everyone, but it has helped me to feel the Spirit on Sunday. Also, the article is correct - the week after the Sabbath is so much more spiritual if Sunday is filled with spiritual things. It can truly last all week long.

  • bobosmom small town, Nebraska
    Nov. 11, 2011 3:24 p.m.

    I have to work every other Sunday but it is because I work in a 24 hour facility. I don't have to be to work till 245pm and appreciate that I can go to church in the am. The town I live in has only 1 store that I'm aware of that is closed on Sunday. If people want to shop on Sunday or watch sports that is there prerogative; the jobs back here are scarce so if one has to Sunday sometimes there isn't much choice. Members of our congregation come from 30-45 minutes away and there aren't that many Sunday meetings.

  • JoeBlow Miami Area, Fl
    Nov. 11, 2011 2:08 p.m.

    Thanks, but no Salsa necessary. A cold one could be nice though.

    "nothing in the article that implied they want to impose their morals on you or anyone else"

    But it does say that "It is one of our greatest annoyances that Sunday is no longer observed as a day of rest and worship in this country or in this world."

    Really? our Greatest annoyances? Someone has a pretty cushy life then.

    Living in SLC, I saw plenty of people try to "impose their morals" on me.

    Petty things that bugged them. My actions did not infringe on them one bit.
    But they KNEW better and sure let me know.

    "Keeping the Sabbath" means different things to different people and nothing to some people.

    So, please, observe it as you wish, but leave me alone. I will take my chances.

  • Chickenchaser Centralia, WA
    Nov. 11, 2011 1:12 p.m.

    A little more horse sense and everyone not faced with work would be making a spiritual contribution to their families and society which is not to say you cannot do so at work. Bottom line? The family and in particular our children.

    However those who strive to justify dismantling the family are undermining civilization. Priesthood leaders, too, neglect their families all in the name of 'priesthood' responsibilities. Tough call. 'Families are forever'.

    Bottom line? Who knows . . .except those who feel close to Christ and feel a sense of grandeur just 'taking an old fashion walk and bursting with talk.'

  • nanniehu Wendover, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 12:44 p.m.

    All said in the article was meant to encourage and help promote the idea of keeping the Sabbath holy. The truthful benefits of a day of rest is so important on many levels, both physical and spiritual. For NDM - It's too bad you have a leadership where meeting-itis is the norm. Elder Packer told us years ago and many times since, when issuing a calling it should be done prayerfully and with consideration for the family needs. Meetings should be kept to a minimum, especially where young families might be impacted. It's true, there seems to be an overwhelming bent on putting young mothers in Primary or leadership positions where the more mature and less encumbered with tiny children would serve better. In some cases there are limited members available and we need to support our leadership.
    As for attending community events or games on Sunday, what is more important, teaching our children to honor the Sabbath and the Lord, or losing the opportunity for them to receive blessings for their sacrifices. Besides, who holds a gun to anyone's head to do this or that on Sunday? We make choices, and live with the consequences.

  • BYU Track Star Los Angeles, CA
    Nov. 11, 2011 12:01 p.m.

    I especially loved attending the Y in the 70s. I'd go for a run before my meeting block and the endrophins released made the time spent in Church more spiritual for me at least that what my journal says. I'd love how these good brothers driving in their cars would shout out while driving by. "Its SUNDAY!" often, I'd shout back "Shalom, Mazvel Tov! Once some yahoo turned his car around and followed me. What? Did he want to fight me before Sacrament meeting? I think so. Some people at the Y were wound a little too tight. Hopefully thats not true now?

    Nov. 11, 2011 11:52 a.m.

    When we moved to Texas almost thirty years ago, "blue laws" were still observed. Hardly any businesses were open on Sunday. That eroded and now most businesses do open on Sunday. I do not feel I have any right to insist that stores, restaurants and car dealerships close their doors on Sunday. But, many schools and community organizations now have practices, games and performances on Sunday.

    My grandchildren can either sacrifice the commandment or miss school and community sanctioned activities.

  • garybeac Chapel Hill, NC
    Nov. 11, 2011 11:33 a.m.

    This sort of self-righteous whining always reminds me and my family that, while we are Latter-day Saints, we are NOT Mormons. Bottom line: You enjoy the Sabbath your way (if you actually enjoy it), let others enjoy it theirs, and hold off on judgement until you're looking in a mirror. We are grateful to the brothers and sisters who work hard on Sunday mornings to keep the Church organized and make meetings pleasant and productive. Sunday we read, "To aspire to leadership is an honorable ambition" (Tim 1 3:1). However, Sunday afternoons are often our family's only chance in the week to enjoy each others' company, eating out or watching a movie; it is also sometimes the only day when we can shop. I would tell you why, but it's none of your business. Alas, we'll just go on loving you.

  • Mrs. Joe TOOELE, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 11:06 a.m.

    J-TX, how can you seriously say that an expression of anger at how the Sabbath is observed by others does not imply that the writers expect others to follow their morals beliefs? And then for you to go on and say "This failure to observe the sabbath can be seen as directly resulting in moral and societal decay there." goes even further saying that those don't agree with you are lesser than you. Sorry, but your intentions couldn't be any clearer.

    I've lived in Germany where it is actually illegal to mow your grass on Sundays and all the stores are closed. I've also lived places where Sunday was basically like any other day. Even if I am a Sabbath observer, I would pick the freedom to decide for myself. Vote with your dollars as you have suggested, but don't try to make others do the same.

  • Kevin Surrey, BC
    Nov. 11, 2011 10:12 a.m.

    to JoeBlow | 6:13 a.m. Nov. 11, 2011

    God set the standard on the Sabbath day in the 10 commandments. It can't be any clearer than that! Modern day prophets have also clearly expounded on sabbath observance. Ultimately it is up to each individual to make spiritual choices about the sabbath. In the end we will each have to account for our use of time, especially on the Lord's Day. As for working on the sabbath, common sense is best applied since some professions have no choice but to work 24/7. The church even employs people on the sabbath to look after HIS work. If we do our best to respect the spirit of the sabbath, the rest will all work out.

  • Onward and Upward St George, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 9:47 a.m.

    THANK YOU RICHARD AND LINDA!!! We love your example. We try each Sunday to reflect and be grateful for the beauty and wonder of the Earth and the Universe. We strive to draw closer to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and reflect on what we can do to make things better for all. We are JOY SCHOOL ALUMNI and are grateful for the touching of our sweet little children's hearts as they learned to have JOY in the journey!

    Nov. 11, 2011 8:49 a.m.

    It's all well and good to try and observe the Sabbath individually by not going shopping on Sunday, etc. And I have no objection to anybody else who wants to do whatever they want to do on Sunday either.

    BUT I do have a problem when people start insisting that everybody has to work on Sunday, or when they get upset when you tell them that you would rather quit. I also have a problem when silly corporate policy insists that stories be open 7 days a week, even if they lose money on Sunday, because they want everything to be uniform.

    I wouldnt call for a boycott against companies that dont respect their employees and patrons who dont want to shop on Sunday, but I would be much more likely to give preference to those who do.

  • Mamacita3 Albuquerque, NM
    Nov. 11, 2011 8:41 a.m.

    NDM - THANK YOU! Between all the meetings, preparations, and struggling with young ones, the Sabbath is certainly not a day of rest! I think the perfect change would be everyone doing their callings so the load does not rest on the shoulders of one or two, leaders who keep meeting sweet and short, and people helping out the mothers with young little ones.

  • dr.bridell mclean, VA
    Nov. 11, 2011 8:37 a.m.

    Amen to this column.
    We would all be better off if the custom, tradition, or commandment (depending on how you look at it) of the Sabbath were more widely observed.
    Of course individuals and families can observe as they see fit, but it is harder in a society that has made Sunday into a day of commercialism and recreation.

  • skeptic Phoenix, AZ
    Nov. 11, 2011 8:34 a.m.

    It is the corporate churches that ruined Sunday for religion, they turned it into a business.

  • Full-on double rainbow Bluffdale, UT
    Nov. 11, 2011 8:29 a.m.

    "In Oregon, Sunday is an extra Saturday. This failure to observe the sabbath can be seen as directly resulting in moral and societal decay there."

    Awesome quote. I needed something to get me through today.

  • J-TX Allen, TX
    Nov. 11, 2011 8:05 a.m.

    Hey, Joe; Want some salsa for that chip on your shoulder?

    There was nothing in the article that implied they want to impose their morals on you or anyone else. Just t hat there are personal and societal benefits from observing the sabbath - be it Saturday, Sunday or Tuesday.

    I completely agree with the article. In Oregon, Sunday is an extra Saturday. This failure to observe the sabbath can be seen as directly resulting in moral and societal decay there.

    When we moved to Texas 6 years ago, we were thrilled to find a populace that still mostly adheres to this "custom". It's one of the best things about living in the bible belt. There are numerous businesses that still close on Sunday here, where in Oregon, I can't remember anything closing.

    We are thrilled to give our busiiness to our Evangelical friends who close their doors on Sunday - Chick Fil-A instead of other chicken and fast food places - Hobby Lobby instead of Michael's. We encourage others to vote with their pocketbooks and support these businesses that support the Lord's Day.

    BTW, we buy the Early Edition Sunday Dallas Morning News on Saturday here in the Kroger.

  • NDM Vienna, Austria
    Nov. 11, 2011 7:36 a.m.

    For many active, faithful members, Sunday is the most dreaded and least restful day of the week. Those of us in priesthood leadership positions would do well to carefully consider, and then re-consider, the consequences of every demand we place on the membership. Hungry, crying children waiting for Mom to emerge from Ward Council. Harried Primary and youth teachers struggling with lesson materials and their own small children on a city bus. Pressure to support stake firesides that require up to a three-hour round trip at $8 a gallon for gas. Parents that have to prepare not just class lessons but a family picnic lunch each week. Those of us who were raised in Utah are often tempted to re-create a familiar LDS landscape (programs, activities, meetings) in locations where the entire ward population does not reside in one neighborhood and where a 3-hour block typically means a five or six-hour commitment. In other words, where 85% of the worldwide Church membership resides.

  • JoeBlow Miami Area, Fl
    Nov. 11, 2011 6:13 a.m.

    "yet it is routinely broken every week in every place. Not just broken individually, but broken collectively and societally."

    How about this idea. Observe the Sabbath as you believe it was intended.
    Observe it based on your definition and understanding.

    I really don't see where it is anyone place to try to impose their version of the Sabbath on others. They certainly try though.

    How about those whose faith believes the Sabbath is on Saturday? Should all stores be closed, all sporting events stopped on Saturday also?

    I have no problem with anyone observing their Sabbath as they see fit.

    But, please, don't try to impose your morals on me, thank you.

    If you believe that it is wrong to play golf on Sunday, I strongly suggest that you avoid that. But, how does it harm YOU PERSONALLY, if others do?
    Why do some feel the need to try to get the courses closed on Sunday, or water parks shut down? Why the need to impose your morals on others?

    Please tell me this. Why did the DN add a Sunday edition? How does that fit in with your spirit of the Sabbath?