Crystal City: The Northern Virginia, D.C., LDS Singles Ward

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  • Go Utes Salt Lake City, UT
    June 3, 2011 9:34 a.m.

    I am sure many will be upset with me for saying this, but I think singles wards are ineffectual and largely a waste and distraction. When I turned YSA age, my bishop encouraged me to go and check out the singles ward. After two or three times attending, I quickly came back to the family ward. I attended a family ward after my mission as I attended college. I have never understood the need for everyone around you to be the same demographic in order to gain something from church. That is one of the beauties of the gospel. It is relevant for everyone. When I heard things about marriage, kids, etc. being discussed, I paid close attention, hoping that one day it would apply more directly in my life. Miraculously, I was able to find a wonderful girl (not in the ward) and get married, all the time attending a family ward.

    Having singles activities, as opposed to singles wards, would accomplish the same "mix and mingle" goal of a singles ward. This would put the emphasis in church on worship, not dating, and put the emphasis on dating and mingling elsewhere, where it belongs.

  • Idaho Coug Meridian, Idaho
    June 3, 2011 9:01 a.m.

    My experience with many single LDS family and friends is that the over 31 and divorced can really feel like a fish out of water. The over 31, single and never married has it's fair share of people with obvious reasons why they have not married. Not to be too critical but that group can have it's fair share of disfunction making it not a great fit for divorced but otherwise pretty normal singles. They can also feel very uncomfortable in a family ward given the emphasis on successful families and couples. More than a few over 31, divorced, pretty normal and balanced singles have expressed that there really is just nowhere in the church that they seem to fit.

  • timpClimber Provo, UT
    June 3, 2011 8:43 a.m.

    Many of those who feel they are being treated as a second class citizen in a married ward find out when they get married that married couples have many more concerns on their plate and have to be selective with their times and interests. For example when my I got married my basketball time with my buds decreased sharply as well as the time to talk about new car models and sports. I spent my time learning about couple interactions, pregnancy, worrying about better job possibilities, etc. So the Church wisely created singles wards. If you happen to be part of a regular ward please forgive us married-with-children if our priorities have changed.

  • Club 30 CEO Salt Lake City, Utah
    June 2, 2011 7:26 p.m.

    Its too bad the church has forgot about those 31+ Sad too see all the one active people go inactive because they dont want to go to a family ward, or feel like the 31-45 wards too odd... I hope the church directs a little attention to us older singles soon.

  • Brian Wasilla, AK
    June 2, 2011 7:08 p.m.

    As my single 32 year old son recently counseled his younger sister: "No matter what, get married before you turn 31!" That's when things really get ugly.

  • JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt Beverly Hills, CA
    June 2, 2011 5:50 p.m.

    Gawker is one of the worst most unprofessional and poorly trained blogging sites. They have committed crimes to get stories such as the iPhone 4 leak. While i am not a big fan of meat market singles wards, Gawker is just awful.

  • CougarBlue Heber City, UT
    June 2, 2011 5:08 p.m.

    The following is not stated in the article by Gawker: "and its strategy is to get single people to wed as quickly as possible by separating them from married people."

    The writer of this article apparently has not paid attention to the church's statement that the YSA can go to the YSA ward or may attend the local ward where there are families, which I would say includes married adults. Accuracy needs to be improved when writing about this, and avoiding implications which are not stated or implied. The writer may want to read their own newspaper before making such statements.

  • Cats Somewhere in Time, UT
    June 2, 2011 3:38 p.m.

    Singles warda are really sick environments, but they need to exist. There are many who would not go to Church if they can't attend a singles ward. It's just too hurtful for some people to go to family wards where they don't fit in.

    There are a lot of people with a lot of really serious problems in singles wards. There are a lot of committmentphobics. There are those who have been married and divorced multiple times who have really serious dysfunctionality. There are those who have been deeply wounded and those who are seriously socially challenged. But there just needs to be a place where singles can meet and spend time together. There are often people who never thought they had a prayer in the world and who manage to find someone. I've seen it happen.

    So, as sick as they are, I'm glad these wards exist. The Church is for everyone and that includes singles.

  • Wildcat O-town, UT
    June 2, 2011 1:33 p.m.

    Amen to Idaho Coug and DC. I must respectfully disagree with this article and the last quote. I don't know about others, but being single and LDS really isn't fun for one moment and in any sense of the word. You get treated less than dog food in a family ward if you are over the YSA age. From my experience attending a singles ward, it really takes the focus off of worshiping and is more damaging than good with all the clicks that form, etc.

    I won't let fear dictate a decision, and just because I am of a certain age, doesn't mean I am going to give up the ship and marry the next girl with a pulse even though I don't get along with her. I obviously believe in the concept of marriage--why else would I be single this long? I tip my cap to all the singles, divorcees, widow/ers who soldier on and still attend church despite being treated like a leper. In my experience, you have to let a lot of insults intended or not slide off you and focus on your testimony. Keep the faith singles!

  • raybies Layton, UT
    June 2, 2011 1:26 p.m.

    If I managed to get married in an LDS singles ward, I'm fairly certain anyone can.

  • DC Alexandria, VA
    June 2, 2011 12:29 p.m.

    It's rather comical how media misrepresents YSA wards and the tenets of the LDS faith in general. The Wa Post article was terrible.

  • Idaho Coug Meridian, Idaho
    June 2, 2011 12:03 p.m.

    I think that LDS singles are in a tough situation. On one hand, it is clear that it is important to really get to know someone in a lot of different situations and for an extended period of time to really make a responsible marital decision. And on the other hand, I think we are raised to be somewhat wary of dating too long for fear of falling into immorality.

    Anyone can put on the perfect appearance for a few dates. I know more than one LDS couple who divorced because their dating process was just too quick to reveal certain traits that were just too much to overcome in marriage.

    I would disagree a bit with this article in that it can seem that LDS singles are being encouraged to apply some "haste". I think there is real concern among leadership at the overall reduction in LDS marriages and the increase in age for them. But we can't shy away from encouraging dating that includes opportunities to really get to know one another for more than a few dates.