Secret shame: Sex abuse series

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  • both sides
    March 26, 2008 11:43 p.m.

    I am glad that this article was written...And I am on both sides. I was abused as a child by my stepdad (for years and never told anyone) and my dad has done it to someone. There are no words to describe the feelings. Go though the entire griefing process. My dad was my guiding light and being in this situation, has opened my eyes to the family of not just SOs but to anyone that has a loved one in jail or prison. I do not agree with what my dad did, and though I don't know why he did it or if I ever will...he is still my dad and still love him and I think that makes the pain of my past and the hurt that he has caused not only his family but the family of the girl that much more powerful. I thank the writters for being brave enough to write about such a powerful and hurtful subject and bringing it to light.

  • Difficult job, well done
    March 19, 2008 11:44 p.m.

    I'm sure this has been a difficult journey for the writers of this series. It has been difficult to read, from both the offenders' and victims' points of view, but it is a topic that is necessary to address. I posted the 1st post about the families, but neglected to give you my email address. If you ever decide to write anything about the families--the by-standers in all of this--I would like to help, if I can. We never expected to be part of this scene, but were thrust into it 18 months ago, and will deal with it the rest of our lives. My feelings vary from depression, to anger, to frustration, to hopelessness, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of our lives. Our granddaughter needs help, but not for the offense that was claimed. She was sexually abused most of her young life by the lifestyle of her mother (porn readily available to 3 young girls, many stay-over boyfriends, drugs, alcohol, etc. etc.), and it breaks my heart to be no longer allowed in her life. The only help I can give her is to keep her in my prayers. Thanks for listening.

  • The Families
    March 19, 2008 11:33 p.m.

    I hope some time you will also write an article about the families who are affected by this, both on the victims' side, and the offender's side. The victims have access to counseling, and the offenders are required to go to sex offender counseling, but the wives, children, and loved ones of the offender have no one to talk to. I posted on other places about our situation. My husband was falsely accused by our granddaughter, for reasons only she knows, he spent 6 months in jail and is on probation for 5 years, required to attend SO therapy and group counseling. It will cost us $100 a week for two years, plus fines and AP&P fees, etc. so there's no way we can afford a counselor for me. He did nothing to her, but there was no way to prove that. Our lives are unalterably changed, and I'd like to be able to talk to someone about my feelings. A group for people like me would be welcome, a place to vent feelings, seek help, guided by a professional of some kind. Families of victims could benefit from something like this, too. There's no one to talk to.