Alone in the fold: Many LDS gays struggle to cling to faith despite their yearnings

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  • Gloria C. Monterey, CA, CA
    June 27, 2014 12:04 p.m.

    Until recently, I didn't understand the anguish that gay LDS church members experience when they desire to remain active in the church. I think that LDS parents of gay children need to encourage their gay children to leave the church, find a loving partner, and understand that God loves all of his spirit children equally, EVEN though the church does not.

  • W. Lee
    Dec. 26, 2009 3:55 a.m.

    Stuart was an old co-worker. On occasions since his unfortunate death, I think of him, of his struggles which I may never fully understand as I an neither religious nor gay. Like this Christmas night, I search Stuart's name and find these wonderful, powerful stories of silence and struggle. Why is it that an institution that teaches love and acceptance can act so horribly towards those that are gay? Am I missing something? Hyprocacy, absolute example I see.

    Anyways, my thoughts once again goes to my old friend Stuart and to his family. Such a shame what happened, as Stuart was such a stand up guy - he was honest, considerate, kind, hard working, an absolute blast to be around. No reason justifies any suffering that leads to the death of a human being, a human being that God created. Is God imperfect???

  • Ian Madsen
    Dec. 7, 2009 9:16 a.m.

    RE: Anthony Brown

    Please don't kill yourself. You are loved. Your family loves you, I love you, & God loves you. While dealing with my homosexual attraction, I've learned that I can't hate myself. I've had to learn to love myself, and stop viewing myself as evil. I don't know the answers, but there is always a better path to take. Talk to people close to you about your struggles. Seek for love & acceptance, and let them know that you need that from them. If they try to give uninformed advice, kindly let them know that you've heard it all before, and that's not what you need from them.

  • Anthony Brown
    Dec. 4, 2009 1:31 p.m.

    Ive been in reparative therapy, Ive prayed, fasted, attended temple and church meetings and done my best to serve others. This has not gone away. So much money and time has been spent in trying to get this fixed. I hate going to church sometimes because of the comments that I hear. "kill the gays, lets burn them" My heart is broken I cry out to God and there is no answer there is no healing. I feel that in time I too will end up taking the same course as many young latter day saint men do, and just shaking off the chains of mortality, but I personally dont see any other way. Years later and thousands and thousands of dollars later spent in therapy, and hours spent on my knees and nothing. I feel our leader although dear and sweet and loving as they are all to often sweep this issue under the carpet. I don't mean to sound mean or spiteful. I just know from experience that all to often I am told to just keep my self chaste and be quite about the whole thing. Prehaps its time I bought a gun too.

  • Frank Hays
    Sept. 4, 2009 11:16 a.m.

    I am now in my 55 year and have struggled with same gender attraction all my life. I have had many ups and downs. I am a returned missionary and attended BYU. I live in California and have read this book multiple times as I struggle to remain faithful. Still living in quiet desperation.

  • Concerned
    Dec. 11, 2007 12:55 a.m.

    This is a great article and I can feel the pain of those who are convinced that there is something higher for them than participating in homosexual activities. Of course the same goes for those who are not homosexual and understand that there is something greater for them than participating in hetrosexual activities before marriage just because society says it is completely natureal and acceptable.

    I admire the strength of those who continue to live virtuous lives regardless of the challenges that they face.

    Thanks for sharing the inner most feelings of your heart.

    My heart goes out to the parents who's son decided to end his own life.