BEE-UTIFUL

For the second consecutive year, bee swarms invaded the San Diego Padres’ spring training field in Arizona.

During Monday’s warmups, Africanized honeybees caused players to lie on the ground to avoid being stung. Last year the same occurrence held up a game.

Meanwhile, back at the home of the Salt Lake Bees, they’re trying to figure out how to get the swarm to show up for a July promotion.

GOODY GORDON

Jae Crowder got crosswise with Minnesota coach Tom Thibodeau and exchanged Twitter taunts with Jimmy Butler. Karl-Anthony Towns was ejected for barking at the refs. Jeff Teague shoulder-tackled Ricky Rubio.

Last week’s Jazz-Minnesota game was downright salty.

All totaled, there were three ejections and five technicals.

Why does it feel as if Gordon Hayward were around, he would have been saying, “Can’t we work this out, guys?”

NO SOUP FOR YOU!

Cleveland guard J.R. Smith was suspended last week for throwing a bowl of soup at an assistant coach.

This is where coach Tyronn Lue should have gone “Soup Nazi” and told him: “You’re pushing your luck, little man.”

BLIND-EYE GUY

University of Memphis coach Tubby Smith went on a righteous rant about 800 college basketball players transferring “when they want.”

Problem was, Smith has had six jobs in the last 25 years — when he wanted.

Isn’t there something about glass houses he’s supposed to know?

SUSPENDED ANIMATION

The Jazz have won 15 of their last 17 games, yet have not managed to pass anyone in the standings.

No matter how many wins they get, they can’t seem to make any progress … said every Republican in Congress.

SAINTLY CHOICE

Parity in Pac-12’s men’s basketball was such that five teams finished within two games of second place.

The NCAA Tournament selection committee must be thinking, “Maybe this year we just go with Saint Mary’s.”

FAST FORWARD

NFL commissioner Roger Goodell allegedly ran a 5.41 in the 40 to raise funds for St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital.

Sources insist it had nothing to do with Goodell hustling to avoid Jerry Jones in the hall.

FOOD FEARS

Brad Dickson, Omaha World Herald: “USC sold the naming rights to the L.A. Coliseum to United Airlines. How bad is stuff that’s a combination of concession/airline food?”

PRACTICALLY PERFECT

Sports Pickle: “Kobe Bryant shoots 95 times to get one scene right in new movie.”