Recent news has been dominated by stories of a “polar vortex” covering roughly half the United States.

Writers have used the terms “huge,” “gigantic,” and “slow-moving swirl.”

In other words, same as when Kyrylo Fesenko played for the Jazz.

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A study by MBA students at the University of Utah says the state is in need of more liquor stores. No, this is not a Max Hall nightmare.


San Antonio coach Gregg Popovich was fined last season for sending star players home from a road trip so they could get extra rest. This year he’s giving himself a vacation.

Popovich told the San Antonio Express-News his New Year’s resolution is to watch less film; his team has its own issues to resolve.

Still, who knew Pop and Andrew Bynum had the same basketball philosophy — less is more?


New York Knicks guard J.R. Smith was fined $50,000 last week for “recurring incidents of unsportsmanlike conduct,” after twice trying to untie opponents’ shoelaces.

And they say NBA players don’t try to stop anyone.


Dennis Rodman incensed many by recently suggesting imprisoned American Kenneth Bae somehow deserved to serve a 15-year sentence of hard labor in North Korea.

Rodman quickly apologized to the family, saying, “I embarrassed a lot of people.”

Was this before or after he married himself?


Golden State coach Mark Jackson drew criticism for saying John Stockton was “a good-to-very-good shooter. Not a great shooter.”

Which dovetails nicely with Jackson’s own career — good to very good, but not great.


Dutch prostitutes say they want the same retirement tax benefits as pro soccer players.

The government allows players to put a reported $7,000 a month into a tax-free pension fund. Just like athletes, prostitutes say their careers are short.

Isn’t this where an agent steps in and threatens to have his clients sit out next season?


Jazz guard Gordon Hayward scored 37 points — including the final 17 — last week in a win over league-leading Oklahoma City.

Hayward told reporters he was “in the zone a little bit.”

That’s like saying Miley Cyrus “got a little crazy” last year, isn’t it?


After receiving a 162-game suspension for violating baseball’s PED policy, Alex Rodriguez said, “The deck has been stacked against me from day one.”

Heaven knows there was nothing fair about his $275 million contract, either.