News flash! Salt Lake and Murray school districts are consolidating services.

The Salt Lake District sees the presence of another shopping mall in the Murray District as advantageous to its proposed Shopping Mall Curriculum a program designed to take the classes where the kids are.The district also announced a move to obtain Saltair Resort for a central office location. The old headquarters on First South would be converted into a new private school system called Upper East. South High School Community Council member Larry Failner said the group was pleased, but "We were just sorry we couldn't arrange for a maker of concrete boats to donate one boat for each board member."

In addition, the district advertised a job opening for a director of special education. Requirements: training in verbal avoidance, bus scheduling, due process hearings, preschool programs. Term of contract, 121/2 months.

Believe it?

Better not. The Salt Lake District's April 1 newsletter took an April Fools' Day jab in its own problems. By April 2, things will be back to normal chaotic.