SALT LAKE CITY — Fifteen years ago Tuesday, on June 11, 2004, Utah filmmakers, BYU graduates and married couple Jerusha and Jared Hess gave the world "Napoleon Dynamite." What started as a $400,000 indie film shot in Jared Hess's Preston, Idaho, hometown turned into a national movie phenomenon that eventually made over $44 million at the domestic box office and another $130 million in DVD sales. Deseret News writer Court Mann interviewed just about everyone (more or less) involved with the creation of the film for our "Napoleon Dynamite" oral histories part one and two, but to celebrate the actual anniversary Tuesday, we turn to a few of the movie's most quotable lines.
Here are 10 of our favorites:
1. This line is our introduction to Napoleon, and right out of the blocks, our hero gives us wise words to live by. We, too, want to do whatever we feel like.
Kid on the school bus: What are you going to do today, Napoleon?
Napoleon: Whatever I feel like I want to do. Gosh!
2. We agree: It's never nice or appropriate to call someone a fat lard, but in this case, Napoleon is talking to a llama, so we're slightly less concerned with hurt feelings. And Jon Heder's inflection is just so good on this line.
Napoleon: Tina, you fat lard, come get some dinner!
3. She who rocks a side ponytail knows fashion trends. But perhaps the best part of this exchange between Napoleon and Deb is Kip's witty put-down called from the living room. The smug look on his face makes the scene.
Deb: And here we have some boondoggle keychains, a must-have for the season's fashion.
Napoleon: I've already made like an infinity of those at Scout camp.
Deb: Well, is anyone else here? I'm trying to earn money for college.
Kip: Your mom goes to college!
4. Until we saw "Napoleon Dynamite" we had a very different interpretation of what constitutes good skills. Thanks, Napoleon, for educating us on what to look for in potential partners.
Napoleon: I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napoleon: You know, like nunchuck skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
5. For this one, we swoon. This is about as romantic as our boy Napoleon gets in the film, and it's a line worthy of Deb. Plus, he's right, and we hope she followed his advice and switched to whole milk.
Napoleon: I see you're drinking 1 percent. Does that mean you think you're fat? 'Cause you're not. You could be drinking whole if you wanted to.
6. This line is so iconic we couldn't leave it off the list. And we love Napoleon's perfect comeback to his brother. (Also, Kip really might have the worst reflexes of all time.)
Napoleon: Stay home and eat all the freaking chips, Kip.
Kip: Napoleon, don't be jealous that I've been chatting online with babes all day. Besides, we both know that I'm training to become a cage fighter.
Napoleon: Since when, Kip? You have the worst reflexes of all time.
Kip: Try and hit me, Napoleon.
7. Another romantic line from Napoleon — see? You've got fishing skills, Napoleon! — which is quickly followed up with Napoleon's invitation to Deb to play tetherball. The scene is perfectly punctuated with the opening bars of the When In Rome song "The Promise."
Napoleon: I caught you a delicious bass. Wanna play me?
8. Anyone from the Intermountain West knows that its residents have a true need for chapstick. Kip should have stopped chatting with babes, or whatever he was doing, and taken over a tube to his brother.
Napoleon: Can you bring me my chapstick?
Kip: No, Napoleon.
Napoleon: But my lips hurt real bad!
Kip: Just borrow some from the school nurse. I know she has, like, five sticks in her drawer.
Napoleon: I'm not gonna use hers, you sicko!
9. Maybe Napoleon did shoot 50 wolverines (don't tell Hugh Jackman) or maybe he didn't. Either way, Don still put him in a headlock at the end of their thoughtful exchange.
Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines!
Don: Did you shoot any?11 comments on this story
Napoleon: Yes, like, 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins; what the heck would you do in a situation like that?
Don: What kind of gun did you use?
Napoleon: A frickin' 12-gauge, what do you think?
10. Anyone who has spent time in high school (or even at work) can appreciate the pure honesty of Napoleon's answer to his grandmother's question. Sometimes, today is the worst day of our lives.
Grandma: How was school?
Napoleon: The worst day of my life. What do you think?
Did we skip your favorite "Napoleon Dynamite" quote? Let us know what it is in the comments section.